My abusive ex has reappared with an apology?

Question

My ex was very emotonially abusive insults put downs i was fat i was a size 8 his ex was better than me i was xxxx in bed ,Withholding from me ,Lying manipulating
He locked me out of my home naked in a row ,He stole my house keys let himself in and told me id left the door unlocked and should be more carefull . He tried to break into my house
one night. He made me a nervous wreck i had panic attacks and agrophobia.He made out to the whole street i was a pysco and a coke head when ive never touched it.

Now suddenly after a year he has reappeared telling me how sorry he is for treating me badly and he wished it could be diffrent and how his ex has found someone new and how he did all these amazing things for her , He said he was going to tell everyone that he was the pysco im not a bad person. He was asking who i was with if i had a bf etc

Why is he doing this?

I think hes trying to play mind games with me

Answer 1

I'm wondering if she did pay back to him and he's realised what a jerk he was.



I strongly suggest that you tell him to take a long walk off a short pier and forget about him. Yes he can change but do you want to take that chance - get into another relationship with him and realise 10 years down the line that he changed back to his bad ways?



I wouldn't and wouldn't take that chance.



Remove him from Facebook - block him and remove him from your life.



Good luck.



KD

Answer 2

I don't think he's playing mind games. He probably is truly sorry and wishes he hadn't treated you poorly. In fact his treating you poorly is likely the result of an emotional defect he has, and so the abusive behavior is somewhat of a compulsion more than anything else.



However, it is very common for people like this to follow such a pattern. They are very abusive, then sorry about it. They promise to make it up and to never do it again, and the girl is happy. Then the abuse comes around again.



Additionally, it sounds like part of the reason he is returning is because he lost the other girl. He's needy and thinks of you to turn to.



Hopefully you turn down his request to get back with him. The other girl was smart to get away from him, and you'd be equally smart to continue to keep away from him. It sounds like that's your plan anyway since you're not asking what you should do but rather why he is doing this.

Answer 3

It's times like these that a fixed abode is maybe not such a good idea.



Could you have someone stay with you, and with them there when he approaches, relate the matter of moving - abroad if it sounds feasible, relatives, or friends [of relatives] - work taking you elsewhere, something that can fall through, but will spell out clearly, "There's nothing between us, I'd just up sticks and be gone without really remembering your alleged connection with me".



Don't let people play with your mind - it's the vital prerequisite for actually having a life.

Answer 4

He is doing it because the woman he got with after the two of you broke up, dumped his *** and now he wants to come back into your life. What you described sounds completely insane and the smartest thing you can do is tell him no apologies are necessary just keep his distance and stay away from you. You know what he is capable of so there is no reason to put yourself back in that position.

Answer 5

LDR. My ex cheated and lied - when I asked him if he was seeing someone else, he said "you are out of control," and "you are going to break up up." He was indeed seeing a skank. The people in my small town turned on him, and he ended it. I asked again in November and got same response. I drove to his other house (100 miles) in the early hours and found a car in his condo space - he denies knowing the car or another woman but has been erratic coming here on weekends. I ended it. DONE. Enough is enough. Take time to have fun - go to your local cafe or diner regularly and meet new people. Dance to great music in your house to relieve stress. Be patient with yourself - it takes time to get back to being you. I wish you great success.

Answer 6

You would be crazy to take him back. Send him away. You divorced him for a reason. People don't change that fast. If he was so great to his ex, why is she with another man? You know this guy is not right for you and your family. It will be exactly the same as it was before, if not worse. There is too much water under the bridge. Send him away.

Answer 7

He's alone again (go figure). And yep, he's playing you (again). First, the apology (oh please forgive me!). Then, sympathy card (this other woman hurt me even tho I was "good" to her). Then he tries to bargain (If you sleep with me, I will tell everyone the truth). Oh, man he's playing the jealous lover too! (who are you seeing now?)....none of his business, BTW.



This guy is a piece of work! Seriously!!!!



Tell him if he is really sorry, to tell everyone the truth NOW. Then say thank you and send him on his way. Take the apology. But I would NEVER take him back.

Answer 8

He is playing you, probably his ex wouldn't put up with his bs and dumped his sorry ***. Ignore him and if he starts coming around get a restraining order, he seems like quite the wack job, a dangerous wack job, so be careful, but definitely don't let him into your life, don't text him, don't even acknowledge his existence.



Hopefully he'll get the hint, but if he starts pestering you get a restraining order pronto. It usually scares most of those cowardly wacko's away.

Answer 9

You, my dear, are what is known as his Plan B. You bet he's playing games with you. Abusive men are a thousand times more unlikely to change as is one who has cheated but was not abusive. Don't you dare get hooked up with him again.

Answer 10

Don't let him play any more mind games. Tell him to get lost. Block his phone number and email. Block him on Facebook. If he keeps on bothering you, tell the police. He had his chance with you, he blew it, and he really doesn't deserve another second of your time.

Answer 11

stay as far away as you can from him, change all your contact details and if he shows up at your house just ring the police! you need to stay away from him. hes trying to get back into your life again.

be carefull and stay safe!

Answer 12

It's all part of his manipulation game. Tell him to keep walking.

Answer 13

He is you need to block him out of your life forever.

Answer 14

Please tell me you are not considering this ?

Stay away why get involved in this again

You must be mad to even consider this

Answer 15

stay away from him at all costs

Answer 16

It's up to you only you can decide

Answer 17

because you let him do it