Would you be ok with your spouse going out of town to visit a friend of the opposite sex?

Question

Last week I drove an hour and a half to visit a good friend of mine I have know since we were 8 years old (we are 25 now, so that's 17 years... God, I'm getting old). We had a whole day planned, so I spent the night at his place, and drove back the next morning. My husband mentioned my trip to his friend, and his friend said to him, "I can't believe you'd allow your wife to spend the night with some other guy!" My husband just replied, "First of all, I don't ALLOW my wife to do anything. Dolyn does whatever the heck she wants to. Second, I'm definitely OKAY with it because we have this thing in our marriage called TRUST, and I'm not the slightest bit worried about what my wife is going to be doing. Besides, my wife doesn't have to drive 100 miles out of her way to cheat on me. She hates to drive, I'm sure she'd rather find someone in town to do that!"

My husband is a very smart, wonderful, secure man. Anyone else out there that secure in their relationships?

Answer 1

Yes, my husband and I have the same type of relationship. We are very secure, and we trust on another as well. I've gone on vacation by myself to Hawaii for 21 days. He's a very secure man, and I am a very secure woman. He's gone to NC to visit a woman who was actually in the military with him when we met. He stayed at her house, I'm totally okay with it. And if other people don't have the same in their marriage, then I feel sad for them. Congrats..it sounds like you have a great relationship as well.

Answer 2

The last time my wife went out of town overnight. I had a one nighter with a co-worker.

Answer 3

I AM secure in my relationship, but I would never be OK with this. Even though there is nothing going on, it's weird and just doesn't look good. Why didn't your husband go with you? That would be an entirely different story.

Answer 4

All you are doing is play with fire......if you do it, he can do it...now how would you feel your trust on this one? You might trust him...but do you trust his girl friend???? c'mon! be smart, there are certain things we don't do in marriage.

I am sorry but I don't agree with what you did, I just hope that he is not "preparing" his plan in a future...and when he does....there will be nothing for you to say.

I hope I am very wrong.....but I am older than you are and you are showing inmaturity and not very smart.

You think I am wrong??? ask your friends...................

Answer 5

I am secure in my relationship too.



Visiting and old friend yeah Id say fine with that ........staying overnight ..........crossing the line in my opinion.

Answer 6

You keep telling yourself and your husband that story and maybe you'll both believe it, because I do not believe it for one minute, that's is the biggest line of crap and you know it !!

Answer 7

Most married people don't seem to be that secure. Luckily my husband and I have that kind of a relationship too. :)

Answer 8

I am. As long as they are happy and their is love, trust, honesty and respect cheating will not happen. A relationship without all those things is not much of a relationship.

Answer 9

I don't plan on marrying anyone. I love my freedom.

Answer 10

NO!!!!

Answer 11

You are so lucky! It is very rare to find that level of trust in a relationship.

Answer 12

Depends on the situation. I'm divorced now but I know 100% my ex-husband never cheated on me. He used to go on his motorcycle trip from NY to NC. I was never worried about him. You have to be so lucky to marry someone who doesn't have any problems. I'm not sure I want to do that if I love my husband. I have no desire to visit anyone else if he's the only man in my life. I'd rather spend my birthday with someone I love and care than friends.

Answer 13

My man and I are very secure in our relationship. He has no problems with me going out with the girls to the bar and coming in a 3:30 am. He says if you dont have TRUST you have NOTHING. It works the same for him from me. He goes out with the boys and plays pool. Dont worry what other people say as long as you and your husband have a good marriage thats all that matters...Best Wishes...

Answer 14

Wow, way to go. Now that is a secure man. I,m sure you made him like that. Great job. My husband has low self esteem.. I have been defending my fidelity for 27 years. He thinks I did, but I never did, never would. I could never look my children in the eye again knowing I did that t their father.

Answer 15

He can be all that... what I don't get is what kind of respectful married woman goes a 100 miles to see a man, that doesn't seem respectful towards your husband... if this guy wanted to see you so bad why didn't he come visit you?

I think is great that you have trust in each other.. but that kind of weird to me... but I guess it works out just fine with you guys... hopefully you'll act the same when is his turn to go meet a girlfriend from the past wherever she lives.



Take care!

Answer 16

If the history was similar to that of you and your friend, I would be fine. I often go hang out one on one with my male friends and my husband has no issue with it. I agree, if you have trust and open communication...should not be a problem.

Answer 17

Yes I would trust him

Answer 18

it always leads to trouble stay home with your husband and work on each one of you taking care of each other

Answer 19

If it works for you thats what matters. For me --no way--but that's my hang-up.

Answer 20

yea i would trust him

Answer 21

are you posting this just to brag?