what should i do? Im unhappy, want to leave my husband but stuck in a financial bind

Question

my husband and i own a house but we are 1 1/2 months behind, in the middle of filing chapter 13 bankruptcy, I recently just found out my husband has been lieing to me about money and that he has a problem with cocaine. He made an appointment for outpt counseling, but I feel like all my feeling for him are gone and want to separate. but here is the problem, We obviously are having a hard time keeping up with payments ourselves, I cant afford it by myself niether can he. He doesnt know how I feel about him. I cant afford a foreclosure and the market is bad so even if we sold the house we'd be in a bind because we wouldnt get close to what its worth. what do i do. im very unhappy.

Answer 1

Get a job and find a friend/family to stay with until you get on your feet again.

Answer 2

There are many places that helps mothers in your situation get on there feet. i would call around during the day to see of the y can help you find a place you can afford. Tell them your full story they will help.



then if you can find a job during the day! if not then your gonna need a babysitter if the kids cant sit themselves.



After having all those things in place talk to your husband let him know how you feel. Tell him you and the kids may need to move until he get himself together. Check his reaction, most people on drugs have a hard time when they think there family may leave. --- thats why i told you sat all thoose things up before you spoke to him. you must remain 10 steps ahead of him.-----



Your parent s said you cant come home but they may watch the kids if they live close.



Lastly find a school for the kids in another distict if you can! Send the kids to there new school and pack there things they cant live without slowly.



Move -------Move ------- call your husband and let him know that you have moved and for him to stay intouch so yall can work things out! you dont want the children to witness any extra tension or fights if they dont have to!



Allow him to visit the children during the day at the mall or any other place where there are people. Even when you meet with him to be supportive dont let him know wher eyou live you keep control.'



Allow him to decide if he wants his family and if he does you two may be able to work it out if not you have a place getting help you can do this!

Use your resouces go to the welfare office in your city they normally know places that can help



I hope this helps

Answer 3

I do feel for you coz' it's not an easy situation. You are obviously angry with him because he has let you down and lied to you - and rightly so. I would be asking myself 'what else is he hiding'? Ask your mortgage lender if they are able to help you out on a short term basis until you get yourself back on your feet again. I know what you mean about the housing market at the moment as well - it's bad. Do you still love your husband and if the answer is yes then fight for it all. If the answer is no then perhaps it is time to cut your losses and move on from each other. I really hope you can work this out :-)

Answer 4

If you can't afford foreclosure, then what can you afford? You husband sounds selfish for doing all those things to both of you, but are you doing your job as a wife? How could this situation gotten so out of hand and you didn't see it coming? Your man has a coke problem and you didn't know?



What you should do is take it like it is. Do what it takes to fix your husband and your credit.



You have good parents.

Answer 5

Try the counseling first. As far as forclosure goes...with the market the way it is, it may be hard to avoid. If you should divorce, the court will decide what happens. If your husband has an issue with cocaine, believe me he won't get custody and chances are he will keep spending both of your money to support his habit. If you have a joint account....open your own quick!

Answer 6

You need to attend some couples counseling. Your feeling have changed because of life's stresses and his addiction.



Maybe you still have a chance to save your marriage. Otherwise, find a job (if you don't have one) and move back in with your parents until you get back on your feet.



He needs you right now, and you need him too. It'll take some work, but you married him for a reason, and it's still worth trying.

Answer 7

right here is what i exploit to choose in spite of the fact that if a friendship/relationship is well worth it or no longer: in case you sense the would desire to talk negatively approximately somebody at the back of their returned, asserting issues approximately them which you does no longer say to their face, then you do no longer stay with them. So i'm no longer conversing approximately complaining approximately stressful behavior like leaving the seat up/down, yet issues that define their character. think of each and all the features of your husband in an entire stranger, minus the "financial stability"--would you date somebody like that? you will possibly have mixed emotions and love them on the comparable time, yet which will in basic terms make issues greater complicated. As for financial stability...except you have a new child, there is not any reason to stay with somebody who treats you like crap. and in spite of the fact that in case you probably did have a new child, this remains no longer adequate of a reason to be with somebody who you your self evaluate abusive and impolite. Do you have your person pastime or profession, or are you a housewife? circulate returned to college or get some profession education in case you opt for financial stability. you are able to remember in basic terms on your self, no longer your modern husband or ex-boyfriend. our ultimate source of happiness is our community. Wealth is in basic terms a tiny fraction. do no longer supply up your emotional stability and doubtlessly happy destiny for something that, in immediately's financial device, isn't even completely good. EDIT: I understand the reactions of persons calling her a gold digger/2-timer, yet the place are the innovations with regard to an abusive better half? No, 2 wrongs do no longer make a proper, yet whilst expressing your anger over something incorrect, how do you thoroughly overlook that?

Answer 8

Bide your time. get your financial house in order, get better hours at work . Hide some money then leave him