Do you have to find someone new in order to get over somebody?

Question

I am trying to get over someone who hurt me really bad, and I am actually doing a lot better. He was just a womanizer and a liar. I was his ego boost. I thought he loved me back by all the wonderful things he did for me, but I realized that he was never serious about me.
He took back a concert ticket to take another girl. He kicked me to the curb to flirt with these other girls in short skirts, but then he would come back talking to me and asking me why I was upset. He ignored me when he was busy talking to other girls. He wouldn't even respond to my texts asking him how he was, and when I gave him a present one time, he snatched it out of my hand and said, "Yeah, thanks!" Also, he made promises to help me move in and send me a list of concerts, but he never kept these promises, and he would always write to me, but then he would ignore me when I wrote back to him. We were never in a relationship, but I fell deeply for him. I admired him for a year now. He knew how I felt about him, and used that to make himself feel better.
My close friend told me that I will be fully over him when I find someone new. But the thing is, I don't think I'm going to find someone else for a long time. And what's worse: I see him all the time on my college campus and we work at the same job. I don't feel the need to switch schools or quit my job for this loser. My heart is still in pain, but I want to know if I can ever move on from him without resorting to finding someone new? I'm not ready for a relationship right now, and I don't want to fall in love for a long time.

Answer 1

No.



Peace.

Answer 2

I have a web site which will help you raise your self esteem and perhaps learn more about relationships and what to expect from them. You shouldn't get into another relationship until you finish school since most that do often fail. Perhaps you can get some satisfaction now by ignoring him since that will hurt his self esteem. Remember that when you graduate, you will be around more professional people, making more money, and hopefully meet the right person then.

Answer 3

Tell me about this guy in more detail.....did you actually ever ask him how he felt about you? If so was he shy. Maybe you guys need to have a direct conversation on the topic... If this is bothering you so much then it is obvious you need closer because this seems to be bothering you alot. Remember God has a reason for all things and events that take place in your life. We are not God therefore we cannot comprehend why certain events take place in our lives, but there always is a reason for God controls all things. "For my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts" says the Lord. Personally I would talk to this guy he may feel the same way about you this entire time and if you havent had a indepth conversation on this topic you are just beating yourself up.

Answer 4

focus on college, do you really need more drama in your life? Forget dating until you are out of college. A wise woman said, "choose wisely and love deeply."

Keep in mind why you were even dating, was it to have fun or find a partner for life? Resume your plan after college. You will be more mature and know yourself better.

Answer 5

You just have to think of how mean he really is. What draws you to him? Get some time for yourself, you deserve a sweet guy who treats you like you are too good to be true. Just start out slow and be open minded. You won't know another relationship until you close the door to the one you have. My last relationship broke my heart. I was serious with this person for 2 years. He cheated, lied and a lot of times treated me like I wasn't worth his time. I broke it off, tired of crying and thinking over him. I closed that door and started dating someone completely different. He was younger, with tons of energy and was completely into me. I wasn't expecting him, and we got married 10 years ago. Chin up...there's opportunity out there, you just have to think about yourself first.

Answer 6

If your not ready for a relationship and don't want to fall in love for a long time, why are you wasting your time on this fool. He treats you like dog dodo and you keep taking him back. Walk away from this fool, there is always someone else right around the corner. sweet mildred is our leader.. crawl into her playpen

Answer 7

Not necessarily, but it sure does help. Getting involved with someone else will definitely ease the pain, BUT.......it's only temporary. Sometimes it could backfire badly and make things worse.

Answer 8

You should gain satisfaction from working diligently on your course work. Just study your brains out. That way you won't have time to think about him, and you'll have all A's to boot!

Answer 9

ah,that's terrible.. my daughter goes off to college next year and I dread the day she experiences heartbreak so I really feel for you.



I honestly think it would be best for you to look for another job..It's just not healthy to see him so much.



and no,replacement men and more heartbreak only leads to low self esteem.



College is your chance to develop yourself into who you want to be ,then meet someone who respects and loves you for who you are.

He is not worthy.

Answer 10

No you will not feel better by finding someone.Baby girl FINE YOU.Once you do that then and only then will you know what you will put up with.MEN only do what you allow them to do.When we are tried then we let them know and off they go.

Answer 11

No, attempting to replace that person will only make matters worse.

Answer 12

Just the opposite.I've broken many hearts and thats what they all tell me.