I want to get married in the next couple of years but my boyfriend is still in the divorce process?

Question

I am a young mother of a two year old. I have been dating my boyfriend(still legally married) for 7 months and I know he is the one I have dreamed about and hoped for. But his wife cheated on him 9 months after they got married and left him about a year later. He filed the papers twice the first time they were still living together and she cried and wanted to stay. The second time he filed was after she left. He sent her the papers for her to sign and get notarized, and we are still waiting for them! I want to marry him in the future but I am afraid the divorce process witll never end! and I don't know how soon he would want to marry after he waisted 7 years of his life just to get crushed in the end! What do I do ? Please Help me!

Answer 1

You can bet marriage is the LAST thing on his mind. Bringing it up to him will more than likely cause him to put a wall up. Just let things take course as they should. Remember, he has just been used, lied to, and abused. It will take him a while to recover, if ever. If you love him as much as you say you do, give him space and just be supportive. Don't push him into anything. Do you ever get the idea that you could be a REBOUND? Just a thought......

Answer 2

First of all, if you really love him like you say you do, you will wait patiently for him. There are many things that one must go through in a divorce, and sometimes dependiing upon the other party in the divorce, things could get ugly. Just stand beside him and let him know how much you love and care for him, and show him that no matter how long it takes you are going to be there for him. And I do believe, you will have to ask a lawyer, that if after a certain time of her having the papers to sign and she hasn't signed them that the divorce is automatic anyways.....it is something that you should look in to. I sure hope that this helped you out, and if you should ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me. I would be more than happy to help you through this one. I am a great listner!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I don't understand why papers have to be signed at all! When I got divorced I filed, had copies served on him and had to wait 30 days for him to respond. He did not respond and I was able to file a two week waiver and got the decree approximately three weeks later and was officially divorced! The whole thing took about eight to ten weeks total.



Now, you are a mother so you need to stop dating, shacking up with or marrying anyone for the next 16 years. You need to focus on raising your child, not on your love life. When your child turns 18, you are free to do as you please. If you continue dating, shacking up with or marrying you run the risk of wrecking your kid's life with more loss, drama and possible molestation. He or she does not need that while growing up so you need to stop.



Also, seven months is not even close to long enough to know he is the one! You must not marry before knowing this person for at least two years.

Answer 4

2 things are sure. Divorce will come. Marriage is forever. Some divorces can take years depending on the situation, while some are immediate. If you really believe this guy is marriage material, then you must also believe this divorce now involves you, and your lives together. Some people call this 'baggage', although I don't. I met my wife while she was going through a divorce, and one hearing led to another and another, and before I realized it, 2 years had gone by. I have her forever, and I had her forever during her divorce. I accepted that I would go through it with her, while I could have bailed. You must decide if you want to go through it with him, and if you don't, there is only one way to not go through it. You called him the one you dreamed about and hoped for, and if that is true, you will go through thick and thin with him, even before you can get married. If you think this is bad, wait until you see the thick and thin you will go through as a married couple. Either stick it out or get out.

Answer 5

I know the feeling. My guy has waited almost a year for his divorce to go through. They had everything decided on a couple months after he filed but she wouldn't get around and do her part. She has had the final papers for a couple weeks now and still won't get off her lazy @$$ and go to a bank and get them notarized!!



Trust me its not that she doesn't want to get divorced as she left him, is with another man and has 3 kids with this other guy. My guy is just waiting for her to sign the paperwork so he can quit being nice to her. He choked down a lot of sh!t because he wants her to sign the papers so bad. See if he can still get one if she doesn't sign, it will take longer but then you won't be waiting on her anymore. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Give him time to heal. Getting divorced is a lengthy process. But, why is he not pushing it? Find out if he can go to court to get the divorce finalized, in florida you have, a certain amount of time to sign the papers (i think 60days) if both parties dont sign then you can go to court to ask the judge for divorce.

Does he know how you feel? Let him know if he doesnt but give him space and try not to rush things or he may back away from you. Best of Luck

Answer 7

Sad to say, it sounds like he is simply using you as a nice young side piece while he figures out what he is going to do with his wife! Why make yourself a back up plan? Tell him to get the papers signed by the end of next week or get the hell out! His answer and reaction will tell you all you need to know!

Answer 8

You can't do anything right now if he's still married. And when you get married is something you decide between the two of you. I say you need to back off with talking about marriage and give you bf some breathing room.

Answer 9

Honestly, what is the big deal with marriage? Since half the marriages in the US dont work out, what the point of hurrying to get into one. You already have a child so its not like you are waiting to have your first one. I mean its nice and all to be married but whats the hurry if you are trully in love. If you love each other you will wait as long as it takes.

Answer 10

I would say to just lay low with trying to marry this guy right away, especially if you arent sure if he would want to do that. Give him and the relationship some time, that way he can see how good you would be for him. Also, spend this time with your 2 yr old, you will never get it back.

Answer 11

the only thing you can do is take care of yourself. keep in mind that it might be a possibility that he does not want to get married again or any time soon. i am going through a divorce right now and my hubby cheated on me. i'm not dating anyone right now because i know that i am not emotionally ready now and probably will not be for a long time. be careful with your heart.

Answer 12

ahhhhh, the old "divorce papers not being signed" thing again.



That happens A LOT here on Yahoo Answers, I've never seen so many supposedly "dragged out" divorces in my life, until I came here.......seems to me, when people want to get divorced, they do JUST THAT!



By the way, the USPS isn't THAT SLOW! I order books and music on Amazon.com and pick "regular shipping" and usually get my stuff in THREE days!

Answer 13

He is not a fish, and even if you catch him it could be catch and release. Its to soon, he should do the asking when he feels he is ready. Let him see what a good relationship is with you even if it takes 20 years then if that is not good for you move on.

Answer 14

here is what my grandfather told my mother, about my father (he caught his first wife in bed w/ someone else)... "you don't see that man until his divorce is final"... I will not bless you until that divorce of his is final!



so, that's what you do, tell him you can't talk, see, or communicate in any way shape or form until his divorce is final...



if he loves you, he will push to get the divorce to be final, perhaps he will seek a lawyer and a court date...if she don't show, the judge will grant his divorce!



good luck, that's what you do... this stress will affect your daughter... it's best to stay away until he is free, "legally"...



if he gets mad at you, he don't care about you... he will do what he has to do to get this over and done with!

Answer 15

If you want to get married you have to find a single man! You can't marry one that is already married!

Answer 16

Were do you live

Answer 17

wait if it was meant to be than it will happen just the way you plan