Is it right for a woman to divorce her husband recovering from stroke?

2010-03-17 22:09:59 UTC

You have a lot of unresolved anger towards him, and before you make any decisions, you might want to get some counseling to try to resolve your anger and ensure that any decisions you make are rational rather than emotional.

You have to do what is best for you, though, darling, and if, after calm consideration, you still want to go, then you should go, regardless of whether he is still recovering from his stroke. He's trying to blackmail you into staying. Don't let him get away with it...if you give in to him now, when he's recovered and you try to leave again, he'll just come up with a new crisis to keep you in the marriage, and it will never end.

Good luck to you.

?

2010-03-17 22:29:39 UTC

I understand if he's brought this on himself and it effects you so much sure you're mad. No it's not "his health." It's your responsibility to nurse him back to health-- to go through unnecessary pain because he's lazy. I felt disgusted by my father who wouldn't listen to the doctor and created havoc on all of us. He would end up in the ER-- AGAIN-- and we'd get this urgent call from the hospital and everyone would have to drop everything, take time off work and run to his friggin' bedside for something he could have prevented if he weren't so **** lazy. I finally told him he can kill himself if he wanted to but I would not be pulled into his chaos. And a number of times when I got that urgent call I didn't go. After a few years it's just too much. If someone has a legitimate medical need then I'm there. But if they want to destroy themselves don't think I'm going to let them pull me in.

The people who tell you that you're selfish are blessed enough to not have to walk in your shoes. The nurses were so nasty to me when he was in the hospital but they had not been wearied by years of this bull. Had he taken care of himself we wouldn't have had all this chaos. He died last year. No more chaos. He did it to himself. What did he expect?

hunter d

2010-03-17 22:19:06 UTC

I am sorry! But marriage is for better or worse! Bet you never thought of divorce when he was working and bringing in money? Bet you were not thinking of divorce when you checked the bank accounts and there was a nice amount of money in there! But, now that things have gotten bad, you want a divorce? Get a clue! You have 2 b 1 of the most selfish people I have ever seen! Staying under the same roof w/him anymore is an eyesore?? WTH are you?? So he wasn't taking his medication as prescribed? If you were really that concerned about it, you should have been smashing his pills up and adding them to his food!! But no! You just sat there and did nothing! But now U wanna b^tch about him not taking them? PLEASE!! You need to get a grip! If you want a divorce that badly, then get it! Just know that people will look @ U like the selfish old hag that you REALLY are!

2010-03-17 22:05:40 UTC

Who are you god almighty? He is sick and maybe not taking his medications properly was not a very smart move, he does not need your forgiveness for it and you are being quite self righteous about this.

You said in sickness and in health. To divorce him because he had a stroke and you don't want to deal with it...is pretty p*ss weak.

What does he need to repent? It is his health. He didn't take his medication and his stroke was the consequence. HIS consequence. He did it to himself, and you are making it all about you.

I think you are the selfish one. How is his stroke about you?

**EDIT: no I didn't misunderstand. She wrote: I can't forgive him over this as he knew it is wrong and yet he still do so.

She is angry and can't forgive him for not taking his medication. Ridiculous!

Yes you may have said he has done other things in the past but you don't specify. And since you are the kind of person who thinks him not taking his medicine and having a stroke is a horrible misdeed toward you, then there may be many other things you took personally when it wasn't.

All I have to go off is what you write. Even if he has done other things wrong, you were happy to stay married to him until he "did the wrong thing and had a stroke". MY selfish statement still stands.

John

2010-03-17 22:03:34 UTC

Ok, give him the freedom he needs so he can get the help he needs. But don't look back.

If you do , you will turn into a pillar of salt.

alienated lass

2010-03-17 22:10:38 UTC

I think "priv828" has misunderstood what you just told us.

I think you should wait until he is fully recovered, and then leave him. It will give you time to think over things about this relationship of yours. Maybe during this whole waiting process, you guys will try to find ways to improve your life together.

Good luck,

-

"in sickness and in health" ;

seriously now? she isn't leaving him because he went threw a stroke, she's leaving him because of the things he's done to hurt her.

2010-03-17 22:08:02 UTC

" In sickness and in health "

Aside from wedding vows I guess it's fine.

ourjacobdavid

2010-03-17 22:00:41 UTC

resentment??? but ya know, you sound like if you are self fish too. self centered. Ya know, karma can hit ya back and you may not be accepted if changes in your life was done too. think about it,

tjdepere2003

2010-03-17 22:08:03 UTC

if your in a hurry to be a widow, yes