Question:
Was i wrong in addressing my fiancees drinking?
susan
2012-04-01 09:50:55 UTC
Ive been with my fiancee 4 ovr a year.we use 2 drink and smoke ciggs together but i quit when i became pregnant.he still did it.now our baby girl is born and i expected him 2 at least cut back.he drinks daily..least 12 beers and ovr a case when hes off work.last night he was drunk stumbling which he doesnt get like often and here hes wanting to change baby and im scared hes gonna fall with her.i told him that im not gonna go back smoking or drinking and i told him it look like hed try 2 cut back at least 4 our daughter.and i told him i worry about his health 2.i just showed care and concern.well he went and broke up his ciggs but was upset.he said i was judging him and lookin down on him.i told him id love him if he quit or not.i was just expressing my concerns.now i feel guilty like i shouldnt have said anything.he is so good 2 me.its just i feel hes hurtin himself by drinkin and smokin but he may need it 2 cope.i feel he shouldnt need it.hes done it his whole life.what do i do?i feel so bad 4 sayin anything
Six answers:
Lani
2012-04-01 10:14:46 UTC
No you weren't wrong. But you have to remember he is a grown man also and you cant change him. I would sit him down and have a serious talk. An if he's willing to change then go from there.





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bunnyONE
2012-04-01 10:25:08 UTC
Yes, he's probably well on his way to a "collison" with his health. But "right doesn't make might" and you went ahead and "played house" (-as in procreating outside marriage) so I guess since you're playing "house" you're playing "married" and you think this is a "in sickness and a health" kind of scenario...



I suggest you get a life insurance policy on the guy. Who knows, you may be taking care of him long before your daughter is grown, at the rate he is going.



Welcome to what happens when you decide to live life que sera sera with "no strings attached".



You're stuck with him now...or a life of misery; being a single parent and self-supporting. Welcome to the REAL world babe...



Grace
.......
2012-04-01 10:04:19 UTC
Hes not the only man in the world. Leave now
2012-04-01 10:02:08 UTC
He is an alcoholic and needs help.

He can try AA or smart recovery.

AA is very religious and smart revovery is scientific.

Hopefully he will come to realize he needs help.

In the mean time I would have him move out.
2012-04-01 09:55:48 UTC
Advise that you take your precious baby and get away from him. Alcohol sometimes leads to violence, and you owe it to your child to be in a better environment. Your fiancee is an alcoholic. Yes, you were right, but only he can decide to get professional help.
2012-04-01 10:00:49 UTC
why did you have a child with a man that drinks daily?


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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