Loves me but doesn't see a future?

Ash

2009-10-19 13:02:49 UTC

Scenario, 24 year old (me) meets 20year old. Ya I know, quite the gap. Truthfully, I had no idea until it was mentioned. His mind set, look and life accomplishments said otherwise. It came as a complete surprise. Recent college graduate, who supported himself, live on his own. He seemed to have been on fast track for most of his life, thus age never became a component. Although hesitant, I figured why not try.

I continued the courtship, which rapidly became a relationship, and progressed into love. Words cannot begin describe. Forget cloud 9, cloud 10 was best fit. Future, marriage, family, kids…etc were all positives topics discussions. We had the same values, ambitions, goals, essentially could not get enough of each other.

Well several months down the road, age took its turn I suppose. I got a rude awakening when the person to whom I was supposedly the love of his life; brought up the possibility of moving back to his home country temporarily (4-6months). I expressed my slight concern over the possibility of distance, but over discussion concluded together that we would love and support each other through whatever life through at us.

Well I guess after much reflection on his part sometime after, he then confronted me yet again and concluded that our relationship would probably not work in the end given that we were at different stages in our lives.

Shocked, I was furious. That I had opened my heart yet again, only to be told in so many words, i'm not enough. Does love not count for anything? He expressed his emotions, cried and explained how much the decision was not what he wanted but what he felt was right for the both of us, as in time, we would simply get more attached and it would be harder to let go.

His train of though: logic/mind over emotion – My train of though: follow your heart.

In the end, I fought, but there was no changing his mind, so I let it go. I figured his lost as he was not even willing to try. Truth though: I’m devastated -Yet another broken heart.

We still talk every other day. Some say I should have chop him/cut him off as what he did to me was not fair … but I simply cannot. I miss him dearly.

Its been 3 weeks since the breakup, when we speak: he often talks about the relationship, express his sadness, how much he misses me, and “I still love you” pops out here and there…YET, his final decision still is to remain separate…and does not think seeing each is the best idea, as it would only make things harder.

I am confused, and I’ve expressed this to him. He says he knows what he wants, but that you can’t always have what you want in life, that sometimes you must do what’s right and that it would be unfair to me to keep me all to himself for the time being, when he knows at the back of his mind that it will never work…He told me at any time, if I feel its best to cut contact, he said he would understand...

sigh...advice?