What are the protocols for interracial marriage?

Question

My boyfriend is Indian and I am caucasian. We have been dating for almost 10 months and are very much in love. So much that I am constantly bombarded with questions of when we will marry by our many close friends.

Not familiar with Indian culture (although I am learning and learning Hindi) I am not aware of all the customs that go with this (boy asking marriage.) Especially when it is to a non-Indian woman.
His parents are coming next month, and I just assumed that marriage need not even be brought up between the two of us until I meet them. They are reportedly very excited to meet me (we are both in our late 30's,) but for obvious reasons I am very nervous. If they like me (and he assures me they will, although I am worried sick) what then? Is he expecting me to bring up marriage/give sign or is that a big no-no? He's already talked in detail with me about wanting me to have his babies, so I really don't know what is proper protocol and I want to do everything perfect. He has lived in America for over 10 years and is very western in many things.

Answer 1

For an interracial marriage with Indian there are both Legal as well Cultural protocols required. Although to learn & follow the Cultural part being a non Indian won't be possible immediately but some back ground of that must be conveyed to you by your Indian boyfriend. You are learning Hindi is a sign of all this. More you meet Indian more you will come to know the multifaceted culture of India.

As far legal part is concerned that I can tell you now itself. Firstly being Non Hindu by religion, I will suggest you to go for Civil form of marriage with an Indian man who mostly are Hindu by religion & usually want the non Indian person to marry them according to their Hindu Rites & Ceremonies, no doubt the Hindu form of marriage is very much colorful but between a Hindu & Non Hindu it is not Legally Valid Marriage unless the Non Hindu Convert & adopt Hindu Religion.

The doubts with regard to the actual conversion to Hindu religion or not will always be a big question so best is to go in for Civil form of marriage by a Marriage Officer not a Hindu priest. For an India to marry in the Civil form there are two Indian legislatures/statutes namely the Special Marriage Act,1954 under which the Indian can marry in the Civil form of marriage in India & the other one is the Foreign Marriage Act,1969 under which the Indian can marry in any foreign country.

Your US government does recognises both these Acts for the purpose of their US citizens who marry Indian citizen under either of these Acts.

Otherwise there in your State in USA there are legislatures with regard to Marriage in the Civil form under which you both can marry.

The Marriage according to the Civil form is not only legally valid in India as well in USA hence there won't be any issue with regard to the validity of the marriage in future.

Hope this point will be kept in mind by you & even if your boyfriend insist of Hindu Religious marriage you tell him to first get married according to Civil form after that he can do any sort of experiments with various form of religious marriages as he wishes to make his parents & other relatives happy.

Answer 2

I think you need to speak with your boyfriend and find out what his family values are. Are they very traditional? If so you may have an issue with them and his choice to marry outside of his culture. However, you should do some research on his culture and find out what is at the root of it. That should be very simple. I would urge you to do some research on his culture, customs, mores, values,etc. Just to give you and understanding before his parents arrive.

As far as protocols, I don't think there are any (set in stone) to each his own. If the two of you are able to look past the obvious differences and embrace them. The two of you should be fine. Good luck.

Answer 3

I never knew that there was any protocols for interracial marriage or dating. All that matters is you both love each other who really cares about protocols.

Answer 4

Not to be rude, but I'm guessing at 30 they are happy as **** that he has a serious girlfriend. Impossible to guess what is going through their heads. Maybe they are proud he attracted an "American" girlfriend, maybe they will be disappointed he's going outside their race and religion.



Take a time-out and ensure this is what you want for your life and aren't being swept away by the romance.



You will have to invent the 'protocols' and determine what is and is not acceptable to you.

Are you going to marry by your religion or his? both?

Answer 5

I'm pretty sure that the protocols for interracial marriage are the same as non-interracial marriage...as long as you have the same values and morals.

Answer 6

Sometimes there are no protocols......live life the way it comes.

Answer 7

Newsflash Shannon, Americans are not superior to Asians!