Question:
I really need some help! Me and my boyfriend of 2years are planning to get married after high school.?
anonymous
2008-07-04 11:18:30 UTC
My parents arent supportive of the idea at all. And his parents could really careless. I have a job right now and so does he. We plan on going to the same college and living together on campus in a marital home. I'm really worried about money. I'd really like to talk to someone that could give me advice or who has been there. We're both Christians and want to stay true to God. That's why we want to get married before we live together. I have no idea how much car insurance will cost, or how to get health insurance. I really need someone to help me through the question I have so we can get through this. I know it's no walk in the park. And it's going to be really hard. I plan on having a bank co-sign my student loans and pay them after college, because my parents won't do it. Please somebody help me. If you have any questions about anything that I had mentioned earlier feel free to ask.
Eighteen answers:
anonymous
2008-07-04 11:31:34 UTC
I have been in your shoes. First thing is to discuss your financial outlook with your boyfriend. As a christian, the man is suppose to be the provider. Ask how is he going to support you, and if you get pregnant. If he cant then you need to take a look at your direction. God knows your heart, you can live together but don't have to have sex if you are commited to wait until you get married. Nothing wrong with this. Get two seperate bank accounts and put your own money in the bank to save up for your wedding, home, etc. Go to a financial planner or credit agency to work out a payment plan for you to pay off your loans. You need to maintain good credit because you are young. You can stay engaged until you save up enough for a wedding, then get married. As for health insurance and car insurance both easy. The rep will guide you through all the steps that is there job. Don't be afraid. Last but least if you don't know how to do half of these things you need to give your self time to mature and develop so you will be a responsible adult,meaning you are not ready for the big world Yet. Sorry for the harsh response, but its for your own good. Best of luck.
SL
2008-07-04 17:34:45 UTC
Sweetie, hard doesn't even touch the iceburg if you're talking about marriage immediatly after high school. My first question is why in the world would you want to get married right after high school? What is the big rush? Is it just for hormonal reasons? You plan on going to the same college but there's no need to rush into living together because, you'll see each other every day as it is. You're parents aren't keen to the idea because they are already aware of the huge financial commitment it takes to not raise children but to also have a house, bills, long term goals, etc. You are in such a great time in your life that it should be enjoyed without the financial burdens that you will eventually have to endure once you get into the 'real world'. The fact that you are worried about this now should be a sign that your innerself is saying whoa-slow down a bit. You can still build a relationship with this boy without wrecking your life to do it along the way. Be smart about this decision and look to your pastor/church counselor who can offer much help through PRE-marital counseling. You've got absolutely nothing to lose by trying it.
jealous elf
2008-07-04 11:42:05 UTC
well, i would recommend not getting married until after college. if that means not living together, so be it. people mature at different rates--and you may outgrow each other. also, college is a time of experimentation for a lot of people. it can be difficult to be tied to one person. in my law school almost 1/4 of the married couples were divorced by the end. the other ones were mostly older students who had been married several years before going to school. i think the numbers are worse for college-aged married couples.



i would not worry about this too much now. so much can happen between now and your high school graduation.



if you do decide to marry, don't forget the wedding expenses.



as to expenses and costs:



some people will borrow enough money to pay their tuition AND living expenses. i don't recommend this because you end up with a ton of debt upon graduation. it's better to have a part-time job for your living expenses.



costs of living vary depending on your location and your lifestyle. i lived on ramen noodles, drove an old car, didn't spend much on clothes/shoes/extras, and didn't eat out much or drink (alcohol is expensive) while in college and law school so my costs were kept down.



rent: anywhere from $500-$2000+/month depending on where you live. on campus housing can be cheaper.



car insurance depends on what kind of car you have. my husband and i have a ford explorer and a kia spectra: $120/month for car insurance. you can get quotes online.



health insurance: if you're single, you can typically stay on your parents' insurance while you're in college. if your parents don't have health insurance, your college will usually provide you with information on health insurance for students. if you work full time you might be able to get insurance through your employer. i think i paid $1300/semester for health insurance once i aged out of my parents' plan.



food is expensive.



don't forget utilities (water $30/month for us, electricity: $80/month), phone $120/month for two phones, travel/commuting costs $$$$$$$ with the current gas prices, entertainment, clothes, cosmetics/toiletries, cable/internet.





good luck to both of you.





word to the wise: whatever you do, DO NOT use credit cards unless you can pay off the entire balance each month. i cannot tell you how many people i know who thought charging a few dollars here and a fun trip there would be no big deal, only to find themselves with $10,000 in credit card debt with a high interest rate.
Livinrawguy
2008-07-04 11:40:13 UTC
DO NOT DO THIS FINISH YOUR EDUCATION AND GET A CAREER GOING THEN IF YOU STILL HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS FOR HIM AFTER A FEW MORE YEARS OF WISDOM THEN MAYBE GET MARRIED. EDUCATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF LIFE DO YOU WANT THINGS YOUR PARENTS NEVER COULD AFFORD TO BUY DO YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A TROPICAL VACATION EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE IT ALL TAKES MONEY AND A GOOD JOB IOS THE ONLY WAY THIS HAPPENS. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR BF TO PAY YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE HE MAY BE THERE NOW BUT WHAT IF HE ENDS UP LEAVING YOU ONE DAY BE PREPARED HAVE A CAREER.



GOD BLESS AND BEST WISHES NEVER RUSH INTO MARRIAGE NEITHER OF YOU KNOW THE COMPLEXITIES OF MARRIAGE YOUR TOO YOUNG THIS IS WHY YOUR PARENTS ARE AGAINST THIS CHOICE.



STAY TRUE TO GOD DON'T GET MARRIED JUST BECAUSE YOUY WANT TO HAVE SEX TOGETHER BIG MISTAKE.



IF YOU CAN STAY AT HOME AND GO TO COLLEGE IF YOUR CHRISTIAN YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOUR SUPPOSE TO RESPECT YOUR PARENTS THEY ARE FAR WISER THEN YOU AND YOUR BF LISTEN TO THEM THEY KNOW WHAT IS BEST THIS IS HIGH SCHOOL INFATUATION WHO KNOWS MAYBE YOUR TRUE SOULMATE IS AT COLLEGE AND YOU WILL DRIFT APART FROM THIS GUY. CRA INSURANCE HEALTH INSURANCE i WILL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW WITHOUT A DECENT CAREER YOU CQAN NOT AFFORD ANY OF IT.
catch22
2008-07-04 11:49:26 UTC
Why not just wait til after college? If you plan to spend the rest of your lives together, then whats a few more years? You'll still be dating and in love. Nothing wrong with a little patience and a little planning. Focus on the loans, the insurance, house, etc. And then, once those have been solved, get married. It will relieve a lot of stress and you'll be proud of yourself for it.
Jessica
2008-07-04 11:25:50 UTC
You can call car insurance places , like Progressive, & they'll give you quotes for free. Health insurance is the same way. Being in college, you might get some kind of deal through your college.

My mom always says "if you're not going to do something because you're worried about money, you're never going to get to do it!" She meant that no matter what, no matter how much money you have, you're always going to worry about money. So do it anyway!! Figure out how much everything is going to cost & set up a budget. I use Mint.com.... it's this website where you can enter in all of your data, bank accounts, credit cards & stuff & you can see how much money you need each month. Just make sure you two set up a budget. You'll be fine. & don't worry about money! That's the downfall of tons of marriages!!
sarcoplasm
2008-07-04 11:29:48 UTC
So your getting married because your christian and wanna get a liltle without sinning, right?



Grow up! An adult sexual relationship is less of a sin than getting a divorce and breaking up a family!



I guess you can say when you get your divorce, "But we were married before we had sex so we are ok in God's eyes".



Whatever - just get on the pill - if he still wants you after he's had a chance to know smart college girls, then you are meant to be together.



OOOOH, maybe that's what your scared of: he'll go to college and experience life and realize he doesn't want you anymore.



Both very sad -which is it?
southern belle
2008-07-04 11:26:18 UTC
well you said it ... its not going to be easy! BUT when you really love someone you have to take chances. The bills will be a bit more but with the both of you working you should be able to do it. I say just pay the bills you two have to and no extra spending because you should start to save up for a place after college. To have your cars under the same policy its actually going to be cheaper for the second car. Health insurance will be a bit more. Good luck to the both of you and early congrats!! :)
anonymous
2008-07-04 11:23:21 UTC
You'll never make it if you are already so worried about money--it tears apart almost as many marriages as adultery does!

If you really love each other, wait until AFTER college to marry. Then you can get good jobs in your field, which will provide health care and enough salary to meet your obligations.



I'm with your parents on this one--the younger you marry, the more likely you are to divorce.
Jonny B Bad
2008-07-04 11:27:41 UTC
What is the rush? Why don't you live a little. You have no idea how much you and your boy friend will change in the next 3 years! I'm not saying he's not the one but you need to live alone to find out who you are as a person! If you choose not to you will always wonder what it is like to be yourself!
anonymous
2008-07-04 11:28:06 UTC
What's the rush to get married? Go to college, get your education, obtain employment, have a steady paycheck coming in to pay your bills then discuss marriage.
meme123
2008-07-04 11:24:13 UTC
Wow its going to be hard. Having to go to school and work. You have no idea how many bills there are once you break away from your parents. I would suggest mooching off your parents and slowing breaking away from them finacially. Are your parents willing to still help out with some bills when you are married?
Erica M
2008-07-04 11:22:39 UTC
don't get married before college, i know so many people who make decisions in high school, then get pregnant and split up, etc. maybe you should still go to the same college, but just don't stay in the same dorm. hope this helps!
Izzy B
2008-07-04 11:30:49 UTC
Way to go sister!You are honoring God with your lives and that is great.It sounds like you have a good grasp on reality after marriage.You are a bit young but it can be done if you are both mature.Take care and God bless!
Robert M
2008-07-04 11:24:14 UTC
If you want to stay true to God, then honor thy mother and father.



As for college loans...go to www.fafsa.ed.gov/ and fill it out. They will get you the best interest rates on loans.
anonymous
2008-07-05 11:10:59 UTC
I'm not an expert on this, but I would suggest you take a tour here,there are expert's tips over there.http://car-insurance.easyideas4u.info/car-insurance.htm
anonymous
2008-07-04 11:22:11 UTC
U sound like a ho. Why dont u join my strip club ? Ill pay u a lot bit ch
Kate B
2008-07-04 19:23:04 UTC
dont do it trust me its a mistake


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