My wife called me a "predator."?

Question

All I wanted was a little nookie. Our marriage has been a roller coaster over the past 16 months. It started, or rather came to a head, when I discovered her plans to meet in a hotel with an old boyfriend. As you can imagine, after that betrayal, I'm a bit sensitive to rejection from her. On Sat morning, as she came out of the shower, I was trying to get something started. She turned on me an called me a predator, accused me of cornering her, etc. and we had a fight. Sunday night, we talked about the issue and she said she felt more like brother and sister raising kids than husband and wife, and that sex felt almost wrong. She said before, and again that night, that she would like it if we had separate bedrooms, and I could be with her only when invited - and not often. The next morning I announced that I would set up an extra bed for myself in our room. She actually seemed bothered by this. I think this seems like a nice alternative to moving out. It's a step away, but still available

Answer 1

Your wife is playing you man expect things to get worse..

Answer 2

I think an essential clue to what has gone wrong here is her comment " she felt more like brother and sister raising kids than husband and wife". This can happen to either party in a marriage. Can you think back to how this has happened? Women need to be romanced, treated well rather than hit on for sex. Have you been a helping hand to her? Have you shown you care in other ways besides just wanting a little nookie? Women are aroused and attracted when a man shows he cares in emotional ways rather than physical ones. This can be hard for a man to realize and understand. It may be too late now but things aren't going to get any better without drastic steps. You have a choice. You can suggest marriage couselling to her - or talking about how things can improve. Or you can tell her to move out (why should you be the one to do it?). If you can make an attempt to "court her" again instead of just diving at her for sex and see how that works first it could be worth a try for the sake of your children.

Answer 3

I am gonna be point blunt honest with you. Your in her way.



Something is going on somewhere with that boyfriend or someone else.



You in the bedroom complicates it all! I been there!



If your in the bedroom, she cannot go into fantasy land mentally. She can not lay and dream of whoever, play with herself, nothing....because your there.



If she takes you out of the room, she can do all of the above and when it gets to be too much or whoever she is screwing is unavailable, she can call you in!



Don't you deserve better? Weird coming from a wife that did this I know, but I know eactly why I said to my hubby at the time what she is saying to you! Been there done it!



I ended up leaving him because he couldn't "get a clue" and I was too afraid if he left me I wouldn't make it or my affair would break up with me and I would be alone. I finally just filed one day. Still do not know how mentally, but I was tired of 2 lives and him always in my face!



Email me if you wanna discuss more.....I'm here for ya!



Just because I was there and did this I am not saying its right. I now see what I put my ex through. Difference is he deserved it! Doesn't sound like you do!

Answer 4

First thing it's not my wife, second thing is it sounds to me if she is excuse the french f------ someone else , and you don't have an open relationship , then I would give her more then just room. But first I would confront her with the situation aboputthe old boyfriend see what she says and make your mind , either you can stay and put up with that or she can leave and get her a apartment of her own rent paid by her if she wants to continue to meet her old boyfriend/s. Cause if they was just friend's (my a--), then it wouldn't be a big deal for him to come to your house so youcan meet him. Friends right? And if it was my wife or my husband I would be really f------ mad ,hurt betrayed ,.

Answer 5

This same thing happened to me, but the opposite and not the brother sister thing. He moved upstairs to another room and it sucked because I did not tell him to do it. I feel betrayed and hurt. He is moving out soon because he does not think its working and son does not feel comfortable around him. How sad, but he did it himself. I would be mad on your part because she seems to want you for a beck in call boy what about your needs. I guess you don't have any. Maybe by you setting up another bed that you won't be such a push over for her good luck but after she met the ex at a hotel I would have divorced her.

Answer 6

I think your wife is emotionally attached to someone else NOT you if not physically as well. Therefore she feels is wrong to be with you sexually. Is like "cheating" on her lover with you ( her husband). So if i were you i will try to spend as much time with her and get closer, try to show her and dont push the sex...it will only make her feel uncomfortable and like a sexual predador. Open your eyes, she is telling you to sleep in different rooms? not acceptable when you are marry. It is obvious that she is emotionally committed to someone else. I know this might hurt but i went through the same thing i know what im telling you. Marry woman just dont sleep alone while their husband sleeps in another room.

Answer 7

It sounds like your wife fell out of love with you. She is not happy in her current life. How can you trust her anymore and why would you still love someone that disrespects you and treats you so badly? I think you should take a very close look at what is happening in your marriage. I would not be surprised if she is cheating even now. It is not fair to your kids for you two to be fighting and being so unhappy. Believe me they know..they pick up on everything.

Answer 8

Your wife is no good. Somebody else is sexing her behind your back. It's probably a new guy too. I think you should cut your losses with her and get a divorce before it gets worse. I guess you might be a prime candidate for an episode of Cheaters.

Answer 9

Well in my opinion and this is only my opinion, she is more than likely getting it elsewhere. She will be bothered by a suggestion u make becuz she did not make it, now she is raising an eyebrow to see if ur doing bad cuz she is. Now u got her wondering why u don't care (good move) ur making her see u are not gonna stand for this crap. All u can do is hope for the best, but again, in my opinion, she is not worth ur time!

Answer 10

You and I both know it is wrong for a husband and wife to have to sleep in separate beds or rooms for that fact! Tell her if she'd like you to move to a different home. See how she reacts.

Answer 11

Get yourself into another bedroom with your own phone line. Never invite her in. Hang nudie pics on the walls of other women. Then tell her how she just "doesn't do it for you anymore." Reverse psychology. Let her file for the divorce. That way she has to pay for it.

Answer 12

Sounds like that ex-boyfriend has already been tagging your wife.Sorry dude but go get a good counselor or lawyer.



I just reread your question.....DUDE YOUR IN DENIAL. She has this guys meat packaged and bundled between her knees. She's getting it elsewhere and just wants you around to convenience things....Get a cheaters test kit or a privet eye and a lawyer. She's walking all over you

Answer 13

oh for hells sake just get divorced - she is cheating on you - hopefully it is a fault state and you can use it against her....



file for divorce, requesting control of the marital home and temp custody of the kids while you are going through the process - and then for primary custodian as the end result so that your kids don't grow up with her morals...or lack thereof.



If yu are hoping she will come around, unless she says yes to marital counseling - she has no intention. There is a good chance she is setting herself up to divorce you - just can't do it yet....be very aware.

Answer 14

Sounds like she has already met with her old bf for a little get away and is making excuses not to sleep with you. Its a classic way for a woman to make a man think its his fault and let you get all upset and move out. Shes already got your things packed Im sorry to say so all you need to do is find the place.

Answer 15

DUDE she is Cheating on you with someone!



Either that or she has MENTAL problems



Seriously, I am not joking,



Make her see a PSYCIATRIST with you for counseling,



I am 100 percent positive they will write her a prescription



PLEASE make the appointment,



and DO NOT sleep in separate beds,



thats a joke,



and DON"T leave the house, let her leave if she wants to,



She needs to get over this immaturity



Jeeze,



Good luck



M

Answer 16

I would say in reality that she likes someone else. She is probably having sexual relations with that person and that is why it feels wrong to be with you. Living in the same house will not help either of you figure out what is the right thing for this marriage. One of you should move out. Then see where things go from there.

Answer 17

I think your wife is unreasonable and that you should move out-and I think she is already cheating-my husbands ex did the exact same thing to him and she was cheating and carrying on for a year!

Answer 18

man that sux. i don't know what too say. i think i would have put the boots to the old boyfriend. but thats just me. and if its good for her to feel like she can get her needs met outside the relationship then why not you?? this may not be sound advice but it might get her attention even more so than you moving your bed.. have her move her bed!!

Answer 19

Yeah she's getting laid somewhere else. Get an STD test and don't sleep with her anymore without a raincoat. Time 2 c a divorce attorney.

Answer 20

This sounds a little selfish to me ,on your wife's part. It doesn't seem right. I can't be that she doesn't want sex anymore (hotel with exboyfriend) maybe she just doesn't want it from you....good luck.

Answer 21

dude: get a divorce ,your wife doesnt want you anymore, she is humilliating you, have a little respect for yourself and tell her to f...off....seems like she is very envolved with her "former boyfriend"

Answer 22

She's already gone,if she told u all that,u got wind of her plans to meet an ex at a hotel.Don't give her a bed,GIVE HER THE DOOR!!!!!unless she took your balls to!

Answer 23

The question back at you is how long are you willing to be treated like her brother instead of her husband? May be time to move on dude.

Answer 24

i think your wife has her heart set some place else, and feeling sleeping with you will be like cheating on this other person. call it quits and move on....

Answer 25

have you been married for a long time? maybe the relationship has gotten stale to her. or she's depressed about something unrelated and she is just introverting. i can relate to this. if you havent done anything wrong, maybe just give her a lil space and reassure her that you are still there for her. or, if she is still interested in her ex, then maybe you should save yourself the heartache and move on yourself...

Answer 26

Get your own place nearby, that way you can date and have some freedom without all of her controlling/complaining! Let her be alone if that's what she wants!

Answer 27

Pray, Pray and more praying. Sounds to me she having an affair.

Answer 28

Dang....



You are a tool buddy!



She wants the nookie, just not from you!



Oh and ps, if you make a lot of money and are happy being treated like crap, email me :p

Answer 29

It sounds like she's emotionally separating from you.



It doesn't sound good.

.

Answer 30

i think shes cheating on you.

move out.

or go to marriage counsling

Answer 31

I would sleep in the other room and make her wish for it; if you know what I mean.

Answer 32

you might wanna do what she asks before it gets worse. if she's already cheated then why would you want to continue forcing yourself on her? (not sexually but annoyingly) she's already expressed that she doesn't want you.

Answer 33

So wait - she cheated on you and you forgave her?

Answer 34

she is not attracted to you anymore. she likes the other guy. sorry.

Answer 35

dude, she wants to cuckold you, either you will accept it or not.

Answer 36

Talk & Pray to God!

Answer 37

well that really sucks