Question:
Whether to believe husband regarding searching porn sites?
Pate
2017-03-24 14:35:02 UTC
I was using my husband s cell phone last night to look up something (Android) I used the chrome app...When I opened the app about 8 pages were open already, 1 happen to be a porn site. We were stand beside each other and as soon as I opened and he saw the page open, he gently grabbed the phone and started deleting history. I began to walk off and he said "What is it?" I said...Nothing, I will use my phone. He wouldn t say anything thing else wouldnt even look at me and went and sat on the couch for like an hour doing something with his phone. I went to bed, then he texts my phone and said..."my phone has a virus, I wasn t searching porn." And then the next morning, the first words he said to me were..." My conscience is clear, I wasn t searching porn." I don t want to be lied to, but don t want to jump to conclusions. I m unsure if a virus can actually pull the site up and leave the actual page open in the chrome history? I ve never had my phone leave a page open that I didn t pull up to look at. Answers would be appreciated. I understand some people don't view porn as bad, but we have discussed the subject and I have made my view of not appreciating my husband viewing porn. I know he viewed it when he was single and that was his own business then.
73 answers:
Tara
2017-03-26 19:34:43 UTC
Sounds like he was looking at porn .... but !! ... let it drop for now - don't let him think that you even have it in your mind ... don't accuse him .... if he thinks that you believe him he may go back to doing it if he's in the habit ... sooner or later you would catch him again (and know the real truth). Right now, you can't prove it.
EvanScanlon
2017-03-26 19:09:02 UTC
He lied
KW
2017-03-26 16:23:44 UTC
2017 and men are still hiding porn lol. Even more funny women are surprised when they find it. To make a long story short I haven't met a man who hasn't watched porn at some point. However some viruses are really filled with porn content maybe he was being honest.
?
2017-03-25 19:24:14 UTC
He was watching porn and lied to you about the "virus" because he didn't want you to get upset about the fact that he likes to masturbate to hot women when you are not around.



How often do you have sex with your husband ? How often do you get on your knees and give him head for as long as it takes for him tocum all over your face or in your mouth ? How often do you play dress up for him ? How often do you worry about your appearance in his presence ? Am not talking about dressing up cute to go to work or go out with your friends, am talking about around the house just for your husband to see ?



These things matter, it makes the guy feel like he is lucky to be with you and that you care about him and want to please him. If you did a better job at keeping him entertained and busy, he wouldn't have the time nor inclination to be online masturbating to porn actresses.



Don't get upset at him, just be more fun and playful with him.



Best of luck in your marriage.
kim
2017-03-25 18:01:04 UTC
Are you worshipping on Sundays? Please do and make Christian friends and family traditions. Ask your husband to repent of that behavior so that your marriage has a chance. Ask him to speak to your Pastor abiut being a better man and husband.
Ace Shorty
2017-03-25 14:51:51 UTC
Porn should not be an issue with you IF you are getting all the sex you want. If you aren't then it is a problem. Most men are higher sexed than their wife, however there are exceptions, and masturbation would surely be better for you than him having sex with other women. Does having sex leave you feeling GREAT? If not, then you aren't having an orgasm. WOMEN CAN GET JUST AS MUCH OUT OF SEX AS MEN DO AND THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU WANT IT JUST ABOUT AS MUCH AS HE DOES.
Roger S
2017-03-25 14:19:27 UTC
It's a shame that your husband if forced to hide anything from you. Looking at porn is normal and nearly all men and many women do it. Looking at porn and masturbating is a much safer alternative than having a mistress or going to prostitutes.
?
2017-03-25 05:09:01 UTC
every man watches porn... if he denies it he is lying... a man can say he quit porn but he will always browse sites every now and then. You are a prude for trying to deny a man his porn...BUT you should be concerned about what kind of porn he watches... since you are so uptight its probably to do with something you wont do for him in the bedroom. You will hate me for my answer but its the most honest answer you going to get in here.
robert x
2017-03-24 16:35:30 UTC
think you forst assumption is right hubby is looking at porn.... his behaviour is classic caught red handed behaviour.. im surprised he didnt say that you had got the phone to download it
anonymous
2017-03-24 15:59:19 UTC
Yes he was lying, because he knew you would freak out. Even though porn really isn't that big a deal.
Stephen
2017-03-28 18:29:31 UTC
Girl your boyfriend was watching porn and was very very embarrassed that you found it, you should try and spice it up, watch it with him, because you will find different and more creative ways of loving each other this way.
I am me
2017-03-27 16:14:15 UTC
Your husband is a liar and that is not okay.
Simon
2017-03-27 15:31:23 UTC
They all look sorry.
adam
2017-03-26 23:24:36 UTC
what you need to do is make your own porn at home with your husband. DUH
V K
2017-03-26 20:33:42 UTC
My husband was on kik for 6 months talking and sharing pics with the same women , and said it wasn't anything, I had taken screenshots and sent to myself....he deleted all my pics to protect himself, if he spends more time on his phone than trying to build u up he is either on porn or cyber cheating.
Caz
2017-03-26 09:18:38 UTC
He was looking at porn. But who cares? He's married to you.
Mei
2017-03-26 02:13:08 UTC
Take it from a fellow woman who denied their boyfriend porn. It gets you no where. He was watching porn. If you take him away from it it means you're insecure. I say fix that within yourself and stop caring about that porn site. A man's individual masterbation doesn't reflect on your relationship, it's just a version of me time for him, it's his urge as a male. It doesn't mean he's attracted to you any less or he loves you any less. So basically it shouldn't matter whether or not he was watching porn, he loves you.
?
2017-03-25 23:48:51 UTC
You get those kinds of viruses from being on those kinds of sites. So maybe he thought he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't searching porn, because he wasn't searching it right then, when the pop up ad showed up. That's being technical, of course, because he obviously knows you don't like him looking at it.

Okay, so I've been with my husband for 17 years and we've been through this. There is no way in hell you're going to get this man to see your side of it, because porn is simply something completely different in a man's mind than it is in yours'. He doesn't want to hurt you, doesn't want to be pestered by you, feels it's an invasion of his privacy like masturbation would be, and frankly doesn't see anything morally wrong with it. The way a typical man sees it, this is something he's been doing since he was a teenager and he doesn't understand your sensitivity to it. Because we women (I am speaking wholeheartedly for myself here) feel like if he's looking at it, we are not enough for him, we are not pretty enough, not sexy enough, not in-inhibited enough, not loved enough by him. I know how you feel. But the truth is while we feel completely offended as if we've been replaced, he sees his porn viewing as something completely separate from you. It has nothing to do with his attraction, affection, loyalty (in his mind) or love for you.

Spiritually speaking we know this is a bunch of bullshit. But in all practicality, this is really how he sees it and he is nearly innocent of anything bad we ascribe to it. However, if you're a religious person, then I'd tell you it's probably a sin, but there's a really strong push at men to buy into this culture, and they've been doing it since a teenager as a rite of passage and then as a life-long habit. Sorry, but this is the cold reality. Although it's not as bad as you think, because he sees this as entertainment and not having anything to do with your relationship.

I have a friend who was completely completely convinced that since she caught her husband and yelled at him about it, that he wasn't doing anything since. Uh-hmmm. Yeah, I thought that at one point too. Nope, they will find a way because complaining about it they think you're trying to control that private aspect of them and they think the fact it threatens you is silly because to them, it is not a threat to you. So they just go underground and hide their viewing. So my friend (just as I at one point) realized he was still looking at it.

But you know what? The whole time either her, or I, thought they weren't looking at it, we were happy. Our marriages were good and there was no problem. So maybe just chuck it out of your mind. It's not meant to hurt you, it's not reality, it can't really hurt you unless you let it.

It's a tough thing to deal with, but you learn to deal with it and then it's okay. When you get busy with a kid, or more kids if you have one, you really won't even have time to worry about it.

If it's impacting your sex life, though, you got a leg to stand on as far as complaining. I had to do that too. I said it hurt my feelings that he looked at porn and we hadn't been intimate in (at the time) two weeks. He denied it took up his time but I really made him look at how much time he spent on it during that period and he knew I was right, and we got on back on track a little bit. I mean, it's just a crappy thing in our modern world, but we have to do the best we can because this should not be ruining our love for each other. Don't let it win, don't let it ruin your relationship.
anonymous
2017-03-25 22:00:59 UTC
Oh whaaaaa poor baby. The number one reason many men view porn is because many women are just plain difficult in life and often sv*k at sex.
?
2017-03-25 19:40:02 UTC
He was LYING to you and then thought he could get you to believe his FALSE REASON. Viruses cannot pull up ANY website, least of all porn.
lonewolf
2017-03-25 18:22:43 UTC
Sadly many husbands and wives need outside stimulation but for those of us with true hearts. We stand by our wedding vows and are satisfied. I am divorced because my ex-wife was not and strayed !
?
2017-03-25 15:29:35 UTC
He is obviously lying. Viruses don't open porn websites. Lol

It's not good that you two arent open about everything

Communicate more

And maybe tell him that you believe he is lying but you don't judge him for the porn but rather for lying now





Best
anonymous
2017-03-25 04:41:55 UTC
Of course he was busting nut to porn. He has to ask for sex at home. Like actually ask. As if he were a child wanting a cookie from the cookie jar. Why is he twisting off to some skinny brunette ffm facial categorical stuff? Because he likes busting nut, and you never do that FOR him. So he'll make up every story in the book, because he is still trapped in the mindset that he needs to keep you happy, even though you apparently don't keep him happy.
anonymous
2017-03-25 01:01:21 UTC
Have you lost your home, marriage or relationship to another woman or man?

I know the exact Spell Caster that can restore your happiness just as he helped me restore man



email: owolospelltemple@priest.com
?
2017-03-24 20:46:34 UTC
Like it or not, your approval is invalid.

Some people view pornography. The view it because it indulges their fantasies.

Quite why they feel the need to fantasize when in all honesty they could and probably should go to their partner is another issue. But from the tone of your post you sound 'betrayed', which frankly is rather childish.

Talk to him about what he was viewing and why. Then discuss things you could watch and do together.
linkus86
2017-03-24 19:25:14 UTC
Yes it is possible.
?
2017-03-24 15:41:07 UTC
He obviously was watching porn. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal. If I were you I'd let it go. The lying is different though. I'd have a talk about that. Just my $00.02
anonymous
2017-03-24 15:17:09 UTC
What you should believe is that watching porn is no big deal, and there's a problem in your marriage if your spouse feels they have to lie about it, because to them being dishonest is better than dealing with a gross overreaction if they were honest about it. Lying is NOT okay, so make it clear to him that's the real problem.



Let it go. Unless he'd rather watch porn than have sex with you, what's the problem? Why do you care that he might have looked at porn? It has nothing to do with you or his feelings for you. You're upset, over nothing, unless there's a lot more to the story than you're sharing. It wouldn't even have crossed my mind to think anything of seeing a porn page pop up on my partner's browser. I'd just close that page and go on with whatever it was I needed to do.



You thinking porn is 'bad' is fine. If you feel that way, you shouldn't view it. Your view on it, should have no bearing on whether or not he feels the same or views it or not. If he's respectful, he'll do it discreetly and not openly, in front of you (since you don't like it). Neither of you needs to stop doing something you enjoy, just because your partner doesn't like that thing. If he didn't like you reading romance novels, would you stop because he didn't like them? If he didn't like them, then he shouldn't read them. That shouldn't impact you reading them, right?
Mike
2017-03-24 14:54:30 UTC
he looks at porn because you're not putting out enough...
anonymous
2017-03-24 14:52:06 UTC
he was looking at it. viruses don't type things in. whether everyone does it.. because it's easy access does not negate the fact that I feel it is disrepectful to my awesomeness so I am not a fan either. my husband also knows this. I dont go digging through his stuff but he knows I would see it as a form of disrespect
Sophie
2017-03-27 21:55:23 UTC
My husbad watches porn. I watch porn... sometimes you just want to get away in your own selfish mind and thoughts and satisfy yourself.
?
2017-03-27 19:20:31 UTC
wow at least he's not cheating on you. its better to look at porn then be sleeping wit another woman dont u think? i mean im a 21 yr old female and i like to look at porn and sometimes i have more than one tab open but still. hes not cheating on u girl so y u complaining. look at it with him
sarah
2017-03-26 21:23:24 UTC
I love doing things like dressing up and giving head where he cums in my mouth, swallow and let him see. Love my man to bits and it gives me pleasure to do all this for him as I know that a guy likes their women to be a vixen in bed. If my guy did look at porn I wouldn't be too bothered unless he was chatting and masturbating with other women.
?
2017-03-26 18:05:16 UTC
The virus is pretty much as valid and well known as my dog ate my homework.
anonymous
2017-03-26 13:31:56 UTC
communicate with him about your sex life. do it
anonymous
2017-03-26 03:17:26 UTC
You'd be surprised at how much u don't know about a man ...
Ocimom
2017-03-25 18:38:53 UTC
He's lying. Porn is a slow poison in any relationship that will eventually kill it. I strongly recommend you both read this book "Every Man's Battle" - its a real eye opener on porn and its effects and how to beat that battle and not watch it.



Many think that porn is harmless but its not. It fills your mind of other naked people having sex and your focus should be only on your spouse being naked. So it IS a form of cheating as your mind and actions are directed to other naked people.
?
2017-03-25 09:03:08 UTC
Dont worry! Its just a phone not a real person. They just enjoy teasing men and wrecking their dumb lives. Its nothing to worry about!
muhammad0
2017-03-25 09:02:26 UTC
don't trust a man in this case before he died
Livinrawguy
2017-03-25 04:52:16 UTC
I call BS on the virus crap do not be so naive the reality is your husband masturbates to porn now and then cause you do not give him the amount of sex he would like. Like most married men myself included we view porn not as an addiction but more of something to get an erection to rub one out. If you have been together a longtime give the guy a break the last thing he needs is you to be a nagging prudish wife who thinks there is something wrong with porn. If you gave your husband more sex chances are he would less inclined to view porn. Men and woman view porn and masturbation is completely normal for single and married people. Many couples are polar opposites when it comes to sex and many times the wife is the one with no sex drive or interest. Be happy your man rubs out to porn than finding another woman to bang.
?
2017-03-25 01:47:29 UTC
Yep, he's looking at it. I've caught my husband doing it as well... And it hurts a lot. I've seen it on his iPad and one time I caught him. I don't believe he is still looking nowadays.
anonymous
2017-03-25 00:03:29 UTC
It's normal he is just jerking off to porn it's not about you he is just reliving his blue balls
?
2017-03-24 22:22:08 UTC
I would give him a pass since it was only one site. My Chrome does bring up the last page I was on, but not several, so it could've been a virus and that is why he was working on it for an hour. Ask more questions: What virus was it? Did you get rid of it? How? How does he think he got it in the first place? Do not let one incident undermine your trust.
anonymous
2017-03-24 20:10:24 UTC
Well he did and he lied to not upset you, although he is not a very good liar. He is just covering his tracks. I don't have a problem with porn. I would have a problem if he were flirting with other women in real life and chatting online to women on porn sites. The world is full of beautiful people, men and women. Life is too short to not appreciate the beauty.
Scott
2017-03-24 18:38:22 UTC
It's not always a bad thing. Guys are very visually-oriented and sometimes a little outside sexy influence is what is needed to get his brain and body in gear for your sex life. Try suggesting that you share the experience and you two could have hotter encounters between the sheets.
Daphne
2017-03-24 18:25:35 UTC
Stop lying to yourself, you know the answer to this! He is guilty of porn surfing plain and simple!
anonymous
2017-03-24 18:20:21 UTC
porn and sex are dead end streets. its an addiction that only causes stress. whether you are married or not
What You Talkin' About?
2017-03-24 16:06:46 UTC
The only real issue is that your husband is a lying weenie who can't admit he looked at some porn - which virtually all guys do. If you put him in the position where he feels like he has to lie about to avoid conflicts with you then shame on you.
PhilosophyAddict
2017-03-24 16:01:42 UTC
Yes he lied, the sites would not be open if they were not what he was looking at. He lied because you have made it impossible for him to tell you the truth, since he can not tell you he viewed anything you would not allow him to see
BeatriceBatten
2017-03-24 15:02:14 UTC
Well, I think it's pretty obvious that he's lying ...



But porn really isn't a big deal.



That being said, if he agreed not to look at it and now he's lying right to your face, then that's a problem.



I would strike a compromise ... don't nag him about looking at it, but he can't lie to you about stuff either.
anonymous
2017-03-29 16:23:22 UTC
Men look at porn. That isn't going to change. Get used to it. It's meaningless.
jacqueline
2017-03-28 19:22:24 UTC
Your instincts are usually right. If the phone had a virus why take it from you. His guilty conscience keeps bringing it up cause he know he was busted. Tell him to be honest so you can talk about it & deal with it.
?
2017-03-27 17:42:26 UTC
Well in any case he was embarrassed that he got caught.

It depends on your feelings on whether you believe him or not.

I would at the very least sit down and talk to him in a very non combative way. Tell him your feelings about how you feel about his actions and then see what happens.

Also look at yourself and see if you have been turning down sex with him more than usual. As a man I would never turn to porn if my wife was taking care of all my needs be it sexual or emotional.
Bob
2017-03-27 15:50:47 UTC
He's lying hoe!
Power Flower
2017-03-27 14:52:18 UTC
Yep, common tactic. Make u think you're the crazy one..
A simple man
2017-03-27 12:42:26 UTC
Its sad he has to lie about watching porn, you seem like a narcissistic controlling woman that any real man would steer clear of.
?
2017-03-27 11:42:23 UTC
Welcome to the real world!
Barb Outhere
2017-03-26 21:31:43 UTC
Its simple - if he wasn't searching for porn WHY was there any need to delete his search history? If the history was there he could have proved it was some random event BUT he chose not to go that route. You might well wonder why?

To me the bigger issue wouldn't be whether or not he was viewing porn but why he felt he couldn't be honest about it.
?
2017-03-26 16:23:43 UTC
Learn to accept it. You can't change people and how they behave. Look on the bright side, he could be cheating on you with another woman while your home playing perfect wife. If anything you need to become his porn star.
Max Stanton
2017-03-26 03:25:47 UTC
You nag him about porn, consider your marriage ... to start having issues.
Linda G
2017-03-25 19:09:43 UTC
No, he pulled it up, a site didn't pull it up. I think you two are incompatible. Either accept that he looks at porn, or get a divorce. It sounds like you two aren't on the same page (pun intended), web or otherwise. He is lying because he wants to avoid a fight but this isn't going to change. Just because you expressed your feelings on the subject does not change his need to beat off to external stimulation.
anonymous
2017-03-25 18:09:45 UTC
Your husband is a pervert. So are you for being married to such a person.
Dave
2017-03-25 13:05:35 UTC
How dare he! Did you maybe think he's sexually unsatisfied and that's why he looks at porn?
?
2017-03-24 23:29:31 UTC
Don't know
Zulcan The Great.
2017-03-24 22:27:22 UTC
You better call the Church Police and have him arrested for watching porn on his phone. He may be sentenced to a Monastery Prison for life.
?
2017-03-24 21:08:09 UTC
He was looking at porn sweetie. It's so easy to lie. All people do it all the time. Really look up why do people lie. You will see. He was looking at porn.
Happy-2
2017-03-24 16:41:29 UTC
"I know he viewed it when he was single and that was his own business then."



It is STILL his own business. Him looking at porn harms you in no way whatsoever. Stay off his phone - "don't ask, don't tell" is the order of the day on stuff that is totally NOT worth drawing battle lines over.
Registered
2017-03-24 15:37:26 UTC
There is nothing wrong with viewing porn. If you are so insecure that you feel threatened by it, then you need to be seeing a therapist. And I get random pages opening on my phone and computer all the time. Have you never heard of spam? Even with a top notch anti malware plan installed, some stuff manages to get through. Grow up.
real estate guy
2017-03-24 15:21:56 UTC
honestly, it's STILL HIS BUSINESS. You are wrong.
i + i
2017-03-24 14:47:13 UTC
What a sad thing that he feels

he has to lie to you about this.
anonymous
2017-03-25 22:47:11 UTC
you should find out what porn star he googled and try to be more like her
Longtime Hubby
2017-03-24 15:16:05 UTC
Guys are visual when it comes to sex. Yes, guys look at porn. Those who say they do not, are not telling the truth. But it's not a marriage-killer. Maybe he gets ideas to share with you in bed. Maybe he needs to get off more often. Guys have fantasies, Actually, so do women. He should 'fess up and admit he looks at the sites. But I'm sure that's all he's doing. Just looking. Nothing more. Maybe you should look at a site with him, spark up the bedroom.
Marc
2017-03-24 14:50:26 UTC
yes he was looking at pornography,you may have a varied and excellent sex life and it doesnt mean he wants to cheat its just a guy needs a fantasy every now and then, dont worry or feel dis respected xxx


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