Is it cheating if my husband joined 4 dating websites, filled out profile, but has not paid thus far? He has winked at people.?

Question

He says he is just looking and using it like porn. He watches porn constantly. He watches it while on breaks at work, sitting next to me when he says he's looking at cars! Do I wait for him to pay for a subscription and then call it cheating? Is this what men do? I was married for 20 years and he never did this but he died. My new husband and I have been together for three years. Married for 7 months. He's cheated before but things have been good for the last year and half, or so I thought! Am I just being paranoid and overreacting?

Answer 1

You are his wife, if YOU are uncomfortable with him signing up at dating sites (And pretty much anyone in a committed relationship would be...I know I would be...I'd also feel hurt, and somewhat betrayed and confused at his actions), then it's not okay for him to do that.



It's not the same as porn at all. On dating sites, there are real people who are looking to hook up. or even enter long term relationships with someone real. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and isn't porn or fantasy, it's dating websites full of real people. Considering his history, he should be considerate of you enough to delete those profiles and accounts and leave those sites alone.



You absolutely have a right to feel however you feel about this, and express your feelings to him, and let him know it's not okay with you. With the plethora of real porn out there, surely he can entertain himself in many other ways. Try to be calm when you discuss it with him, but honest about how it makes you feel. After you've discussed it, if he still doesn't respect and care about you enough to stop, then you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with him and what steps need to be taken to change how things are going. Maybe marriage counseling, or maybe something more drastic.



On a side note, and slightly off topic, if he's that obsessed with porn, maybe he has a problem...

Answer 2

No, it's not cheating. However, dating sites are not like porn. If he's filled out a profile he's seeking attention, and "winking" means he's giving attention to others (unfairly, because they are there to meet men that are free to date, not cheaters).



His behavior is not acceptable, regardless. I wouldn't put up with it.

Answer 3

No joining a site & winking isn't cheating. If he forms more than a platonic relationship with someone that can be considered cheating since emotional relationships is cheating.

Answer 4

"Am I just being paranoid and overreacting?"

Neither, you're being neglectful. Why else would he be so desperate for attention that he's signing up on Interweb dating sites? He's looking for attention, give it to him, you're his wife, it's your job.



You're like a restaurant that, not only won't feed it's customers, but gets mad if they go elsewhere for food.

Answer 5

If your husband isn't cheating, he is getting ready to cheat. So it is up to you, how far you will let this go, because it sounds like he is ready, and willing to meet other females. Good Luck

Answer 6

You're not paranoid. He joined dating websites because he wants to meet women. Even if he is "just" winking at them, eventually he's going to need a new "high" for excitement. And because he's cheated in the past, it's safe to say that he has it in him to do it again.

Answer 7

Are u serious here? A married man who views sex occasionally is the new norm in the 21st century. A man who marries and commits to one woman, and then proceeds to view other women who are single, or attached and online seeking men is not committed to u but is mentality entertained to meet others outside his relationship. While it is not cheating yet, it is the key to the door he is seeking to open to cheat.

Answer 8

Wake up. He's cheating. He'll keep cheating because your a clueless dum dum. That's how he sees you. Kick his lying *** to the curb. If you don't he'll only give you a disease.

Answer 9

If you were doing the same thing would he be upset?Why is he watching porn?Tell him the porn goes and the dating sites go or he goes.

Answer 10

i would be concern. porn really isnt good for a marriage.it gives false expectations.you cant possible look like those girls or do what they do,so it leads to dissapointment when he lust after those porn girls and acts them out on you.

Answer 11

i think its just a slippery slope. looking, leading to doing.