my husband and i are always fighting over the smallest things. please help?

Question

i'm getting really fed up with my husband. we've been married for 4 years and now we're just fighting over everything! we usually end up ignoring each other for days before it dissolves but then we usually just get into another small one. it's really bugging me and i want it to change.
i've tried talking to my husband rationally but he claimed i was trying to change who he was and that i should be the one who should change.
i dont know what im even doing wrong. it appears that he doesn't care how i feel and he is being an insensitive jerk in my opinion.
i've asked if he wanted a divorce and he said no. so if we're not going to get a divorce and he won't talk rationally with me, what ami supposed to do? thanks

Answer 1

speaking from experience, i know you are trying to change him, i didn't really notice it until we started going to marriage counseling, you see as women we want the man we marry to act the way we was brought up, that's not going to happen. eventually they will change slowing and you have to be patient, if he see you stop nagging, complaining about things then he;ll give in. EX: my husband used to take his socks and put them on the floor and then just leave them there, i got sick and tired of asking him to put them in the hamper so i never picked them up, and he kept seeing them pile up by the couch and eventually he started putting them away,ex: he never wanted to take out the trash and i said if I'm going to do everything else in the house, then i''m not going to take out the trash, so i kept letting the trash pile up, even if the trash was piling in the floor. he eventually started taking the trash out WITHOUT me asking him. we cant expect our husbands to change overnight, and we cant expect out marriage to be perfect, marriage is hard work and i hope you the best. just try to understand where he's coming from and see what your faults are as well. divorce isn't the answer for not understanding one another, just try to talk to one another about what each other have a problem about the marriage WITHOUT fussing.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I went through the same thing with my husband. It went on for two years but as time moved on it changed. Sometimes we have to change ourselves in order for things to work out. That is what i did. I sat down took the time to go over things that i do that would annoy him. Then look at the problem as a whole and take it from their. All that takes time. Rome was not built in a day ya know. It takes two to make a thing go right. Never think of divorce that is not the answer. This is normal. Everyone has their stresses and we just have to take into consideration of each other. Im i making sense? You guys are newly weds still kinda and marriage is tough. I know you think he is not listening trust me he is. Just give him sometime and you take the time and think it through. I don't know the whole situation but breath, think, and try to do things alittle different. you will be surprised at his reactions. if you feel like your still not getting anywhere give me a buzz on yahoo.:) im married 4 years going onto five in a couple months:) i don't have all the answers or maybe your saying she don't know..but im a great listener..sometimes we just need someone else to hear us out...:) goodluck hun

Answer 4

hello dear your kind of condition was once my own then i was lost could not even figure what is wrong with my marriage any longer i always fight and quarrel my my husband all the time for things not worth arguing over until i spoke out to one of a close relative who brought the idea that i should consult the spell caster but i was just too scared of scam and fake spell caster i only hope for the best and expecting for the best then ever since i met with the very spell caster i was claim with my situation. i played along with a little hope and faith,I did not really know magic works to all this extent and limit i was shocked and could not believe my eyes.since then i have had a very happy matrimonial home and sex life with my man.i think he can help other people do that he did to me cause he really turned me around for a better life .I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for my husband,my family and my life back.His email address is [e-mail]

Answer 5

It sounds like there are several things at play. First, it sounds like you both are hurt. And, hurt piles on hurt.



One of you is going to have to be willing to be responsible for what is happening in the relationship. (And, not knowing your husband, most men are not good at this.)



If he gets upset, eat crow and apologize. If you get pissed off at him forgive. What I have found is when I do that, my wife eases up on anything she is pissed about. And, it's not always easy. Sometimes it's very hard. But it always ends up worth it.



Here's a question to ask him that may help: What are three things you can do that will make him feel loved? Ask him to answer that and start doing at least one of those things.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://tr.im/XufwJ



It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 8

Since your married and youve already tried talking it out and nothing gets resolves I suggest getting counseling together to help solve the underlying issues to the small fights, because sometimes those type of fights arent always about small things :)

Answer 9

I am going through the exact same situation right now. That's how it starts....stupid little fights.....not talking...them ....BAM... If you can't get over the little petty stuff, your marriage isn't going to survive the major stuff. Either get into marriage counseling or perpare for divorce. I am going through the same situation even as I type this answer to you.

Answer 10

Emily, life is too short for this behavior. Tell husband that the two of you need to talk, and if he refuses, get the attorney started on divorce papers.



Regards,

Dan

Answer 11

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Very sorry about that.You can't do anything now.Just pray to God,to change his mentality towards you.Keep faith in Him.Almighty God shall redeem you in a miraculous way.All the best and don't forget to pray:)Cheers:)

Answer 12

Simple solution.. dont get divorced and keep ignoring each other! have fun! lol seriously... no u guys really need to talk bout it... y are u guys fighting? are u guys not happy with Ur selves??? like i hit a dead spot in my life before and when i wasn't happy id find every reason to fight or bring up stuff from the past maybe that's what it is?

Answer 13

Why are you trying to change him?

You KNEW what he was BEFORE you married him hon.Do not try to change him but accept him as he is.Or tell him it's time for marriage counseling or divorce.The fact is you BOTH probably need to change.However when both are hell bent on changing the other and neither willing to budge an inch,divorce is the final result every time.

Answer 14

Well be like "Well, if you don't want a divorce, can we compromise and get couples therapy so we can work out both our issues and have a better relationship?"

Answer 15

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Answer 16

If ur not happy with ur husband then u can try to be happy with making friend ship with others man...dont take a divorce enjoy ur life with intrecating and sharing bed with others man..bcoz ur husband is not able to satisfied u on bed.

Answer 17

he is right then, you need to change, he will not change until you do, loook at yourself, see what YOU are doing wrong and fix it, try not to step on his toes, and also try to bring memories of whn you were happy, when he notices the differences in you he will start shaping up, good luck