Need help. What happens to the child if a Catholic annulment is granted?

Question

First of, let me start by saying I am a daughter of divorce. My parents divorced when I was 13 years old back in 2001. My mother received a letter from the Diocese of Rockville Center this past August. The letter was in reference to the alleged annulment of my parents' marriage, and on the letter was my fathers last name and my mothers maiden name. I knew my father was the one behind this because he's been very sneaky lately. When I called him to ask about the letter, he told me that he applied through an annulment through the Catholic Church. I did my research on what this was because up until receiving this letter, I had never heard of it. I've only heard of a civil annulment, in which the marriage had to be less than a year with no children involved. Upon doing my research, I found that almost all people who apply for the Catholic annulment do so because they wish to remarry in the Catholic Church. Now my father has never been a holy roller, so I know his vindictive girlfriend is behind this, and might I add, my father was commiting adultery with this woman while still married to my mother. My mother and I wrote letters to fight this, and then we were called in to see the Monsignor to review the testimonies written by my father and his 4 witnesses, those being my grandparents (if that's not a complete kick in the teeth, I don't know what is), one of my aunts, and one of my uncles. I of course was not allowed in to view these testimonies, which I don't understand because I feel I'm the one most affected by this, but my mother told me what the letters stated. We were then asked to write final letters discrediting what was said, which my mother and I did, as well as another aunt of mine and my best friend. The Diocese is now in the process of making their decision based on each testimony. What I want to know is, should this annulment be granted, what will that do to me? I know it will make my parents' 25 year marriage invalid (I don't see how that's allowed), but what will it do to me as their child? I personally feel my existence will be invalid. I don't know anyone else personally that has gone through this, so I'm just seeking some answers.

Answer 1

1. If your parents marriage is annulled it will not only allow them to remarry in the Catholic church, it will also allow them to receive communion. Btw, even with an annulment restrictions can be placed with it ( on either one or both of your parents) to do things like get counseling before a remarriage would be permitted



2. The grounds for an annulment is that at the time the marriage occurred one or both lacked the capacity to enter into marriage. Usually this means they did not agree, accept or understand what a marriage is within the Roman Catholic Church.



3. An annulment will have NO effect on you or your status as a member in good standing in the Roman Catholic Church. If you have been baptized, received first communion and been confirmed OR successfully completed RCIA and the sacrament you nothing has changed.



4. Please remember that the RC church like all religons in the US is only allowed to marry because the State permits it too. Any annulment is a religious annulment only and has absolutely no signifcance outside of the Church. e.g. The church can say a marriage is annuled, but unless a Court of Law says so the marriage is legally valid within the United States of America and the world (because countries give full faith and credit to a marriage in the U.S.)



If you have any questions please feel free to email me.

Answer 2

I'm very sorry to hear about this. But not to worry! Your station in the world and in the Church will be in tact. Absolutely nothing will happen to you as a child of these parents, even if their annulment should go through:



5 Does an annulment make the children illegitimate?



No. The parents, now divorced, presumably once obtained a civil license and entered upon a legal marriage. Children from that union are, therefore, their legitimate offspring. Legitimate means “legal.” The civil divorce and the Church annulment do not alter this situation. Nor do they change the parents’ responsibility toward the children. In fact, during annulment procedures the Church reminds petitioners of their moral obligation to provide for the proper upbringing of their children



HOWEVER, if you ask me, I don't think it has a very good chance to go through. If there are disputes to whatever testimony your father and "his side" have made, and your parents had a real Catholic wedding and a long marriage, it will be very hard for him to prove that it was invalid.



Take care and support your mother in this process. She needs you! And you sound like a great kid.

Answer 3

Legally it makes no difference at all. What the Catholic church decides has zero bearing as to what the state thinks. Within the church it would possibly make you illegitimate, (which is a total joke - an annulment should only be applied to an unconsummated marriage and a paternity test would kill that.) But since when did reality have anything to do with what the Catholic Church thinks? My guess is that you father is just throwing enough money at them to push this through. A fine Catholic tradition. Why do you think this will invalidate your existence? Are you going to cease to exist? Will your life story be rewritten? Will your achievements, failures, joys, sorrows and all that makes your mark on this world be erased? No. You will still be you. Your mother will still be your mother and your father will still be the shiftless bastard that he appears to be. Legally he will still be your father. If he is paying any support payments to you or your mother he will have to continue under the terms of the divorce settlement. In the real world nothing will have changed. It is only in the fantasy world of religion that some people will pretend that things are magically different.

Answer 4

Omg, sorry honey, but what a bastard!! You are definitely not invalid. If your father wants to be manipulated by some other b**ch then so be it. Fight this, pray hard on this. There is no way a man of God can allow this annulment to follow through. 25 YRS!!! She suffered. You've gotta stay strong for your mom, as she's been strong and pulled through what I imagine is 25 yrs of hell with you being the only great thing out of it.



I'm sorry you're going through this and that your father can be so heartless as to do this behind everyone's back. I really hope everything goes in your favor. Best of Luck.

Answer 5

The decision does nothing to you. In the eyes of the Catholic church, their marriage will be "erased"...but that has no bearing on anything legal. Your existence has nothing to do with the church's rules. If anything, by granting the annulment, they will be making a pretty good case for you to change religions. It's just silly church stuff that really doesn't mean anything.

Answer 6

It will be annulled in the church only, so legally and officially it means diddly squat.



In the eyes of catholics, you will be illegitimate. Bear in mind, annulling a marriage of over 2 decades with a child is probably NOT going to happen.



It does not negate your existence, it merely makes a huge flaw in your fathers character obvious to everyone.

Answer 7

My ex tired almost the exact thing.



I put up a fight and the matter was dropped.



You shouldn't feel bad about any of these happenings you were born in a Catholic family and stupid little bs doesn't change your standing with the church.

Answer 8

The Catholic church WILL NOT grant an annulment to a couple who have a child.

Especially if the man is committing adultery!

Answer 9

I would seek the advice of a priest or the body attempting to "decide" whether to grant the annulment.



In my experience, as long as you pay the fee, the annulment is granted. The rest is just for show.



I do personally know 2 different couples who were granted annullments--both of whom had children.

Answer 10

Children revert to being bastards.