My husband is overseas(in the military) and I notice a charge for a hotel room...?

Question

I am a pessimistic optimist but the room was over 100 dollars for one night, and he claims him and a friend of his are going out then they are going to return to the room and crash. My thought on the matter is why get such a posh room if two guys are just going to get drunk and pass out? So I am freaking out...I did notice he requested twin beds on the reservation but then again when I visit him I always request double beds. Another strange thing is that ever since I mentioned the charge of his acct, he hasnt made any purchases which makes me even more suspicious because I know he's been off the ship and he normally buys something in each port!

My plan is to call the hotel room and then ask to speak to this guy he's supposed to be there with.. but honestly I dont know what to think. It looks too peculiar. I have managed to lose like 10 lbs this week stressing about this crap. We just got married.. its been less than a year.

Answer 1

yeah I am just like you. I would probably call the guy that he is supposedly staying with to get it off your chest. But you should talk to your man about this too because communication is the number one key. I just got married Feb 14 08 so I am a newly wed. But think this, maybe he got a nice room because he needs it from being where ever he was because he probably hasn't stayed in a nice room while on the ship. So maybe him and his friend just wanted to feel like that earned something... So just calm down ok and talk to the guy and your man ok good luck.

Answer 2

If he was going to have an affair in a hotel I doubt he would use a credit card knowing you will see the charge on the bill. If he wanted to hide the fact that he was renting a room, he could have gotten money from the atm or had his buddy charge the room. It is not too uncommon for a couple of guys (especially in the military) to get a room together to split the cost, because typically military people dont make alot of money and guys in the military are so close they don't realise that renting a room with another guy may look gay to civilian trying to examine the situation.

Answer 3

You need to seriously talk to your man. Let him know that you are having insecurities about his activities while away from home.

Whatever you do, don't dwell on just this one thing. If he's innocent, you could possible ruin a perfectly good relationship because of your hangups. This particular hotel may have been the first one they walked into which is a HUGE possibility.

I'm guessing your husband is out to sea for months at a time. After that length of time, a hotel room is smart since every port is foreign to him. Safety first.

If he is doing you wrong he'll do other things that will catch your attention. Remember 1+1+1+1=4

Answer 4

Wow, that's tough. Any long-distance relationship is hard and makes you full of suspicion and worry. I would trust him. Call him at the hotel, but dodn't ask to speak to the guy because it will be obvious you think he's lying. Just call normally and ask what they're plans are and try to listen for suspicious noises in the background. If it's a buddy with him he will most likely be all loud and you will be able to tell that it's an innocent night out. Also, tell him how much you love him and miss him so that he will go out with that in mind. If you make him mad then he will probably not make wise decisions...

Answer 5

Wow, I wish my husband would rent a $100 room for him and his friend to crash--I would like to lose 10 pounds. I do have to tell you that I don't think $100 is such a posh room and I also think that you don't need me to tell you that you are overreacting to the whole situation. I wouldn't call the hotel and ask for the friend, that just screams "I don't trust you". Sometimes in life you have to accept things at face value. I just don't see anything suspicious here.

Answer 6

a lot of suggestions , some stupid ones, but good ones too. He cant be that dumb to have charged the credit card and cheated on you, if he is then you married a dumbass. Have him call the creditor and have it removed if its a false charge, which happens, or maybe it was a lunch, just ask him with out attacking him, that way he is not in the defensive mode right away, and watch his face for the changes. hell he could of been planning a get away for the two of you for a surprise and it got screwed up. And he would rather bite the charges then to of spoiled the surprise.

Answer 7

You didn't say if the city he was in has expensive hotel rooms. Maybe he was truthful that he was just using it to crash. You sound like it hasn't happened yet. If so, you could call and speak with him when he's there, and see how he speaks with you on the phone. If he's in a big hurry to get off the phone or talks formally, I would be suspicious there was someone there with him.

I hope things work out OK!

Answer 8

Where do you stay that you think $100 is posh for a hotel room??? I would say that's average, and even toward the "economy" level hotel these days.



Maybe he hasn't spent any money in port because he's saving it up for this night on the town with his friend.



I know it's hard being apart for so long, especially since you are newlyweds, but unless he has given you a reason to be suspicious (as in, got caught cheating in the past), you have GOT to let yourself trust him, or your marriage isn't going to survive.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are allowing bad thoughts to cloud your judgment here..

Why if he were doing something do you think that he would not be smarter to cover his tracks.. When you are able to see where he has spent the money.. HE would be much more clever and come up with a way so you cannot track this OK...



And he did ask for twin beds, if he were taking a woman there wouldn't you think that he would at least ask for double beds?



Stop allow your insecurities get the better of you or you may just destroy your new marriage.. Trust is a MUST in a Marriage.



Best of Luck

Answer 10

depending on where he is, $100 bucks could actually be cheap for a hotel room, especially on a weekend.



Since he knows you know what hotel he is going to be at- I doubt he is up to anything wrong - otherwise the whole thing would be canceled. If he was going to cheat on you, he'd have paid for the hotel in cash when he got there - and not tell you about it. (or have something come in on a bill or online site that you could see)



And as far as the other purchases - ever stop to think he may have had cash?



btw - if he purcased the room - if you call the hotel they aren't going to know who his friend is. The room is in your husband's name.

Answer 11

Yes I do this all the time. When I use to be in the military. Many times on ports. Somtimes I well even call my girlfriend to book the hotels for me. Like if i'm going to be in japan. And our computers isn't working. She understand that I party with my friends. She is bery supportive. WE use to stay in nice hotels. LIke 4-5 starts. Because we were so bored on ship.. That when we get to get out.. WE just would do anything but be on ship

Answer 12

So he paid for this room in advanced? is this a port that he normally stops at? It sounds like him and his friend/s plan on partying or what not I wouldnt worry to much about it. give him the benifit of the doubt. but if you feel that there is something going on check up on it. call his hotel room and see who answers.

Answer 13

I was married for 23 years was with him for 25 years. When you have suspicious, they are generally true, keep looking around, you are gonna find more, like someone else said, the voice, the eyes and other gestures help, but if it is in you heart, you will know the answer. Mine went on golf trips, but really took her to motels, the zoo, or whatever else I didn't know about, now they are married and hopefully unhappily.

Answer 14

Intuitive is strong in female, im sad to inform you

I wouldnt call the hotel, though.....not that way. What i would do is maybe have a FRIEND call the motel asking to speak to his friend for an emergency, .......if the friend dont come to the phone or dont call the cheap cell back,within say 5 minutes (dont give him time to conjure up a stranger at the bar) then ummm.....I would say he is caught

Answer 15

He is cheating or he is Gay don't worry your self to death about something you have no control over.Wait until he comes home and ask those question not why he's over sea's. Plus stop telling him what the hell you are doing and the answer will show them selves.

Answer 16

If you don't trust him this early in the marriage then you should have never married him to begin with. Has he ever given any reason to think he would cheat on you? If not then just relax he is telling you the truth.

Answer 17

It would cost a lot less to hire a taxi to drive them back to port, then out again after they've slept it off. Don't cha think???

Answer 18

any chance you might be really overreacting. where is the hotel at? 100 bucks might not be all that expensive, it's average for a room.

Answer 19

i wouldn't be too worried... most guys (and girls) in the military get together and rent rooms, buy alcohol and have a party...barracks are boring, so are ships... if it bothers you that much just ask him up front if he cheated on you

Answer 20

Actually most rooms are about 100 bucks.. But men do not crash in hotel rooms together...They would rather just pass out in the car than fork up money!



I wouldn't believe him if it was my husband.

Answer 21

There's no way to be sure. You know this might piss him off, but I would tell him that I want him to call me and I want his roommate to say something to me on the phone, then I will let the issue die. He might think your a controlling psycho, but if it is going to make you sleep better than so be it. Military relationships are hard, and sometimes you just need to be reassured!

Answer 22

wow i would be freaking out as well. I would definitly look in to that some more

Answer 23

My BF, also in the Military...has done this! And I trust him completely.



I think you have nothing to worry about...let him have some GUY fun!

Answer 24

I say get a life. Stop being inspector gadget with your husband. If he is going to cheat, nothing you do will stop him. I say - go take a walk and do things that you like to do and have fun and let your husband live his life without all the questions.

Answer 25

Female intuition is usually right on. I think you know the answer.

Answer 26

He's lying to you and I bet if you call, a woman will answer!!!

Answer 27

he is fighting for our freedom and possibly in a life threatening situation and you are upset he might get laid ? be glad he might have a moment to smile.