Why is it the consensus of opinion that when you get married, sex stops?

Question

Why is it the consensus of opinion that when you get married, sex stops?

Answer 1

Let’s face it – new love affairs are scandalous and exciting… marriage isn’t! Marriage is car repayments and leaky faucets and messy faced babies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but there are plenty of distractions that take the focus off sex. It is hard enough for married couple to find some time to spend together… so swinging from chandeliers is just not going to happen! But I think finding a new level of comfort with each other is what marriage is all about.

To change the consensus that sex stops after marriage people need to stop whinging about the small things that drive them crazy about their partners and give off an overall impression that things couldn’t be better.

Answer 2

It may be the general consensus, but it’s not true! People are less interested in hearing about the goings on of married couples, so they assume nothing is going on. Still waters run deep though, ha ha, I reckon if you ask around you’d hear some pretty interesting stories, maybe some stuff that you wouldn’t really want to know about!

A happy marriage always includes a healthy sex life if you ask me, but perhaps it is more of a privacy thing and that’s why everyone thinks the action has stopped.

Answer 3

I don't understand where this idea comes from. I have been married for years and we haven't stopped having sex.



Personally, I think people look at married couples as being boring. They have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.



A good part of a healthy relationship is a good sex life. My husband and I have not gotten boring in the bedroom.

Answer 4

I can remember my high school health teacher - also a coach - told us guys that when we get married, we should get a jar and put in on the dresser. For the first two years, every time we made love with our wives, we should put a coin in the jar. After that, every time we made love, we should take a coin out. He claimed that we'd never empty the jar!



So I did just that! I put a coin in the jar after every time. Now married 35 years but the jar is still full. I asked my wife because I thought we did it a lot. She said yes, that's true. I asked why the jar is still full and she said other guys put more than just one lousy coin in the jar!

Answer 5

Jackie, I have no idea where this consensus came form? Must have been my ex wife! My wife says, "It's a matter of those who are getting it aren't talking about, and those who aren't getting it are making allot of noise." Whatever happened to the old kiss and tell era?

Answer 6

After 10 yrs of marriage. I dont feel that sex stops. We have to be more creative about it !! We have a child so that is another thing....we can just get all intimate in the livingroom on the floor....his little cars hurt. LOL Seriously, being careful not traumatize little eye s and ears, having the energy at the end of the day to get 'together" and being creative about it. So sex doesnt stop,it is just much harder to attain...but you do oh baby it is sooooooooooooo worth it!!!!

Answer 7

I don't know that sex stops, but it gets slowed down - children come along, you are always busy, work gets busier, etc, etc. Priorities change and the first casualty is often the bedroom. We get too used to each other and take each other for granted - women particularly need to feel loved and special - if a man just wants sex without working for it with cuddles, love, and romance, then women get turned off. It's true that a great aphrodesiac for a married mother is her man cooking dinner or unstacking the dishwasher! Truly, I don't think the consensus CAN be changed!!

Answer 8

When you first meet someone and fall head over heels, there is that physical rush of hormones, of excitement and complete desire. No matter how good your marriage, those feelings subside somewhat after time. Your bodies physically get tuned in to each other, so familiarity and routine sets in. The experience becomes predictable. This does not mean it becomes less enjoyable, but it does become less exciting.

Then there are the added pressures of children. Every mother, especially mothers of multiple children, can relate here. You no longer have the time and energy to prepare yourself physically ie: set a romantic bath before candlelit dinners... etc. Now you are so sleep deprived that sleep becomes THE most important thing in your lives! And by the time the children are in bed, you just collapse in an exhausted heap.. sex becomes 'effort' and that's the last thing you want at that moment. It's important to realise that often it is also the man that shares these feelings, depending on his involvement with the children. Other issues that may impact are the woman's physical appearance, which may change after a pregnancy. This may affect her emotional security, which in turn affects her sex drive.

After a while the urge returns and all is well, but then work pressures may surface. Women 'sex' emotionally and once partners show their actual personality (after the comfort zone sets in) often little arguments or lack of effort ultimately lead to 'sex withdrawal', which women have been known to use as a weapon.

Then there's the teenager in the house... always listening and aware. People underestimate the impact this can have on a couple's sex life! Gone are the impulse love sessions, the romantic.. anything!!

Through all of these things, married couples usually continue having sex, but the regularity drops. The thrill of impulse, excitement and opportunity simply cannot exist with the new lifestyle change. You can certainly make the effort, but effort it is and not unplanned hence it still is not the same.

Can we change that? I doubt it, as those things are largely physical familiarity and altered responsibilities. Most happily married couples make time for each other regardless, just not in the same way as before. Problems arise when one partner shoulders more responsibility and stress than the other, therefore the sex drives differ. It is important for people to realise that most married people are happy with their 'arrangements', each couple finding a routine that suits them. Newlyweds may have different opinions here, but after a few years together and starting a family, the reality changes. And quite frankly, there is only so much to sex. After years and years of it, it simply loses it's importance to many. It's still lovely and enjoyable, but not everything. It's the memory of the thrill, the feeling of excitement, the total submission to the moment, that lingers... hence the success of love stories such as yours. We try to escape to a place we know cannot exist forever.

Answer 9

I think that it has something to do with the fact that, as far as a good many Women are concerned, real sexual relations can never be quite as good as the perceived, orgasmic intensity of fiction. Men are not Gods, Women are not Godesses, and yet the media and entertainment industries would have so many rather foolish people beleive that true sexual gratification may be found in the next chapter of Their life. Obviuosly this is just another work of fiction..

At the begining of a sexual relationship both parties are keen to try new techniques, establish the parameters of the relationship and explore (exploit?) each others body. After Marriage the novelty runs out, and a feeling of "comfortable acceptence" permeats the bedroom. One gets used to doing things the same tried and true way. Boredom sets in. The act of making love is replaced with the facts of being in love, ie, bills, children, lifestyle issues etc.

Happiness comes to You through an understanding and personal, rather than overwhelming and passionate, relationship. We start to live with Our Loved Ones instead of loving "The" one We love.

Women tend to read about "love making", whereas Men are more likely to talk about "sex". Seldom do the two genders cross-communicate their true feelings and desires to the partner of their choice. Women fake Their orgasms rather than saying "No! This is what I want, AND how I want You to do it". Men beleive that We are all good lovers because We are lead to beleive that Our partner has climaxed. Eventually one of Us becomes bored with not getting the "goodies' and gives up pretending to be arroused. So ends the "sex life" of both parties, and begins the steady spiral towards dissatisfaction, adultery and divorce.

If there was one simple answer to this dilema it would be to COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER OR LOVER rather than to assume that He or She is a mind reader.

Answer 10

When I first married my wife it was great, we made love often, did lots of things together and had fun. Now after 12 years and 2 kids I feel like I'm married to Martha Stewart. When we do have 'relations' it's always the same way, same place (bedroom). If I suggest anything different she gives me a look of disdain and says we're not kids anymore. If I cuddle up on the couch and make a move she complains that if we do anything it could make a mess in her perfect house. Talk about a mood killer!



She tries to be this supermom that gives 110% for the kids, but unfortunately that leaves less than nothing for us as a couple. Which is worse the fact that sex has stopped, or that even when we have it it's always the same?



So, Jackie - at least in our household the consensus is correct! People change, and not always for the best.

Answer 11

Passion lasts through the courtship. Familiarity and the mundane lifestyle then takes over after a lengthened period of time. The rhythmic pattern of daily life removes the spontaneity and passion from a relationship.

What can be done to change this...simple...always remember that sex is one part of the marriage that can always be exciting, spontaneous, joyful, passionate... Incorporate it into the the monotony (ie do the laundry and do it while doing the laundry..). And of course to change this consensus people have to stop complaining that they aren't getting enough and actually do something productive to make it happen. Stop the whinging - action is key.

Answer 12

A consnesus, really? I thought it was a fact!

You know what it is? When people start out togehter as boyfriend and girlfriend, move on to fiance then husband & wife.

It doesn't end there. Especially when you have children. You take on the additional role of a parent. There is shift in priorities that some people never learn to handle and it leads to neglected wifes, busy fathers and abandoned children.

Then it gets passed down to the next generation.

Unless, they are smart enough to see how a neglected home they came from and start to make the effort in their own lives when the same situation starts to arise.

Sex is great but you don't get up and leave your marriage if you are not meeting your monthly "quatas". Everything in life has it's place some have more priroties then others. Sex would certainly take a back seat for me if my mate was not up to it. You learn to focus to prioritize what's important ..your children. I guess sex maybe does not stop but does grind to a slow crawl.

Educating the masses that marriage is about wearing different hats and each one has certain priorities that must be met before you put the other one on.

So if it's only an opinion by the consensus that sex stops when you get married.

I guess I still have hope then!

Answer 13

Jackie, if there is anyone who knows about sex, it is you. I hope this is a general question and not a personal one. I am your age. Yet, the stereotype of sex being a thing of the past once the wedding bells stop chiming is rendered by those who have not experienced much sex prior to marriage. Sex is the element in our lives that involves all the senses, I believe that sex stops when life moves from our body to another dimension. Now to answer your question. Once a consensus takes hold in a society there is little any one person can or will do to change that belief. Just ask Richard Nixon. The one thing that may bring about the end to the consensus that sex stops when you get married, is a new book from you exhorting the quality of sex long into the marriage with every racy thought you ever imagined applied to your script. Start writing girl.

Answer 14

Hello Jackie, I am a retired old bloke and live on a small farm in the country in Australia. This has long been a puzzle to me also. Why is it that some marriages last a lifetime and others fail in varying time frames? Mine ended after 21 years and it nearly killed me.

I would question your broad statement that it is indeed the consensus and also the term you use "Sex" in my opinion 'Sex" is the physical aspect of what I think is a much better term - "making love". The most important aspect of a relationship between a man and a woman is what is in their hearts, not how their bodies are displayed. Many women and men fall for the mistake of showing off their sexual bodies thinking that this will attract a partner. There is an old couple well into their 80's who sit in front of me at Church. You can see that the spark of true love is still with them as they sit close and hold hands. I think we have been conditioned by the media and commercial advertising to twist our minds into thinking that your appearance is the most important thing. Any thinking man or woman will realise that it is the person you have to live with. I had a motto when I was young and still apply it. "First of all, learn to love the person, and when your minds are deeply in love, this love can then be expressed though the body" not the other way around. I take every opportunity to tell young people asking questions on this site to make a list of what it is you both want out of life and then compare lists. True love (not sex) never dies and how beautiful it is when you find it.

Best wishes,

Grandpa

Answer 15

It shouldn't be the consensus; however, after the honeymoon wares off and thing settle in sex becomes less important than some other things, such as running a house, children and careers. You have to find time for your spouse and sex should be a mutually satisfying thing for both of you and should never be neglected. Happy homes have love and love has to be shown between the two spouses, especially when children are involved. Make time for sex and have it as often as you want it, and both spouses need to make the time for the other, even when not in the mood. Take your spouse on mini vacations, as vacation sex brings you back to the type of sex you had before the marriage and during the first year or so, and always remember why you married each other, and it should not have been just for the sex. When you get along with your spouse in most everything else sex will happen much more often than if you are constantly at odds, so you have to work at your marriage and give and take to make it the best it can be, and then the sex will always be there.

Answer 16

The longer you are married the more you have to work at being creative sometimes, but it definitely doesn't stop. I can't speak for anyone else, but in my relationship sex has actually gotten better over time. I believe people view married people that way because of the responsibilities we have such as kids, jobs, bills, PTA, etc. and all the stress that goes along with it. If you are committed to your partner you find the time. I think it is more romantic and interesting for people to view non married couples as having a more active sex life. I thought the same thing when I got married. I think if married couples just speak up about how it really is in a marriage that can help a little in changing the consensus.

Answer 17

The consensus can be changed by us as people highlighting the happily married couples instead of the 30min marriage and 18 divorces, that we see everyday on TV. Instead of oohing and ahhing over the young girls who are acting promiscuous. Ask the people who have been happily married for years what it feels like to know that the man you love is by your side and still thinks you are as beautiful or more so than the first day you two met! Let people know that sex is natural and beautiful, and that it's okay for old married couples to have sex too!I think that sometime women hold out for emotion reasons. Feelings get hurt so they will not want to have sex. ( most of the time I am sure the husband has no clue as to why our feelings are hurt) I am only saying women because most men ask for it to where the women do not. That is why the women have the power. ( which is not good) We should be asking for just the same. Maybe that would spice up all oo ours marriages LOL

Answer 18

I disaggree with a lot of the opinions on here. As someone who has been married almost five years and has been in this relationship for over eight, I know that it can actually get better! You get to the point of being very comfortable and able to talk about the things you like or want to try. I do know people that are unwilling to speak up about the way a partner does something. Your spouse cannot read minds and doesn't know if you do/don't like somethiing or to change it. Couples need to be more open with each other to make their sexlives more exciting as well as satisfying. And a lot of times, couples keep that private. A happy marriage has no room for modesty inside the bedroom. Besides, I think that consensus is used as an excuse to not get married by some. And also an excuse to cheat for others.

Answer 19

Several things kill the ardor in a marriage. First off, marriage itself is symbolic of an act of seduction. A man pursues a woman, he gets her, she's lost her mystery. This holds true on a Saturday night at a singles bar and it holds true when the honeymoon is over. The second thing that nullifies any passion one may have is that people have the hardest time accepting change. She expects him to be the wavy haired lifeguard with the washboard abs and stay that way for all his days, and he expects her to be the pretty young thing without the sags and thickening. Children take away more sex for the simple reason that one cannot be as spontaneous or vocal anymore. There can be nothing more blush inducing than having a 4 year old asking "Mommy, why did you keep saying 'harder' last night?" Oddly enough, the biggest sex-killer is a TV. Instead of looking at each other, you're watching a flickering box. It is possible for sex to continue in a marriage, but one has to learn to adapt, and the relationship has to be a rare combination of factors to keep the heat going. As to how we can change the consensus that sex stops in a marriage, that's a little more problematical. It is a message that is reinforced by the media and society itself.

Answer 20

You know I used to think this was something that was said but not really accurate until I became a member of a woman's group. After awhile it became pretty evident and in fact was a common source of complaint amongst the women that their once a week 'sex date' or for some once a month didn't happen. So this belies the idea that it is the women who put a hold on sex! I realized that out of the group I and one other lady were totally unusual because we were having sex at least 3 times a week with our husband's. LOL we had thought THAT was average apparently not!



I think the consensus is accurate unfortunately, and there are a lot of reasons why:



1. Busy lives and exhaustion

2. Couples have time... young parents often don't!

3. There is no challenge... your partner is lying next to you so people don't feel as much urgency. Like talking to NY, NY residents who say .." You know I've never been to the Statue of Liberty". For some people easy accessibility decreases the urge to do something.

4. When dating ...people fix themselves up... they feel very excited being together and want to connect. When married some people let themselves go.

5. Foreplay... when dating the woman dresses up, pays attention to the man and he does the same. They are trying to impress each other. Once married... some people feel like they don't need to. An example of this is my Ex. He would want to have sex when spontaneously which was great . But often without showering , or when one of us was sick. Constantly having sex with someone who is dirty from work, or when I didn't feel attractive wasn't a good thing. In fact during the separation he did shower and make an effort and it reminded me of how many years he had not and had forced me to go along with it. So in a way making the effort back fired on him. I had bemoaned the lack of effort, mentioning it to him etc during the long marriage. But... I accepted him as he was thinking that he was just casual and didn't really know how to make the effort. When he did years later it was a slap in the face! I knew he had known all

along but thought he didn't have to!!!



From what I hear ... many couples just won't have sex . One person is usually wanting it more than the other and the other person will just say 'no' eventually. I can't help but think that this often is related to little foreplay or concern for both partners feelings. Once married people assume they have the right to sex and don't need to make an effort. That is a fatal sexual mistake any many marriages.



Sooo my long answer to your great question is... I don't think the consensus is inaccurate what we need to do is change the way people perceive the role of sex in marriage .

Answer 21

Are you THE Jackie Collins? If so, you already know the answer! If not, I just have to tell you that I was married for 22 years, been divorced now for 16 and I have had more wild, crazy, sweet, sex as a single gal than I did in all the years I was married! Let's face it! Today, there are no taboo's about having sex while single. That means -- no strings or obligations attached to the act. Marriage means this is the only partner forever, along with legal and family responsibilities. Those pressures take the "fun" out of the sex life of marrieds and that is why it dwindles down to a boring duty rather than the romantic intimacy that it is intended to be.



just my opinion...but you asked.

Answer 22

I would question your broad statement that it is indeed the consensus and also the term you use "Sex" in my opinion 'Sex" is the physical aspect of what I think is a much better term - "making love". The most important aspect of a relationship between a man and a woman is what is in their hearts, not how their bodies are displayed. Many women and men fall for the mistake of showing off their sexual bodies thinking that this will attract a partner. There is an old couple well into their 80's who sit in front of me at Church. You can see that the spark of true love is still with them as they sit close and hold hands. I think we have been conditioned by the media and commercial advertising to twist our minds into thinking that your appearance is the most important thing. Any thinking man or woman will realise that it is the person you have to live with. I had a motto when I was young and still apply it. "First of all, learn to love the person, and when your minds are deeply in love, this love can then be expressed though the body" not the other way around. I take every opportunity to tell young people asking questions on this site to make a list of what it is you both want out of life and then compare lists. True love (not sex) never dies and how beautiful it is when you find it.

Answer 23

Well i'm not so sure the sex stops as much as the people just stop having sex. Being married has nothing to do with it , i'm not married but we have a house and 5 children and to be completely honest ... well i'm just too tired after a day of laundry , kids , dishes and cleaning house. I would presume that he's tired from work and then he comes home and tries to help out so then he's exhausted too ! It's not a matter of people not being interested in sex after marriage .... it's all in a days work ... LOL. For people who just get together it's a novelty and it wears off after a while. It's an expression that i think some take to heart way too seriously . We try to make a nite of it so that it's memorable and it's special time together . We explore more than just sex when it does happen. It comes in the attitude too , if your like lets get it on and get it done with well i can see why Penthouse and PlayBoy are such good sellers . Nobody wants to be treated like another job. Passion and romance can go a long way.

Answer 24

That consensus doesn't seem to apply for me and my husband. We always enjoy each other's company in sexual or non-sexual situation. And a lot of sex have been so much fun and we can never get enough. Another thing is that we've only been married for a year.

Another case is my parents, whom I'm sure have stopped having sex since 25 years ago after my sister was born. Not a very good marriage they have with all the complaints they have about each other.

I really don't think me and my husband will turn out to be like my parents because we want to still be the way we are now, so with the example of what we don't want to be like, we will keep the heat up... ;)

Answer 25

If sex stops when people get married, where do all those babies come from???????



What a silly premise! Of course sex does not stop with marriage. Marriage is where sex SHOULD BEGIN. Guess my moral values must seem a little archaic, but there you have it.



By the way, "consensus of opinion" is incorrect. The questions should be couched as "What is the consensus that sex stops when you get married?" Consensus means the judgment arrived at by most of those concerned with an issue.



I don't think anything needs to be done. If sex stops when people get married, pretty soon there would be no more people!!!

Answer 26

I don't at all believe that statement has to be true. A big portion of that (in my mind) can be chocked up to a mind set. People believe that will happen and it does. People even joke about it on a day to day basis. Even my husband and I before we got married made the same jokes "Well, you know honey, you better enjoy it now because It's gonna stop eventually!". BS! I say! And no I don't live in some fairy tale world I know that there is a huge difference in the way my relation ship is now versus the new and exciting in the beginning. But let me tell you, It hasn't stopped it's only gotten better!



The consensus can be changed by us as people highlighting the happily married couples instead of the 30min marriage and 18 divorces, that we see everyday on TV. Instead of oohing and ahhing over the young girls who are acting promiscuous. Ask the people who have been happily married for years what it feels like to know that the man you love is by your side and still thinks you are as beautiful or more so than the first day you two met! Let people know that sex is natural and beautiful, and that it's okay for old married couples to have sex too!

Answer 27

I have been married for thirteen years and sex is better than ever. The longer you are married the more you have to work at being creative sometimes, but it definitely doesn't stop. I can't speak for anyone else, but in my relationship sex has actually gotten better over time. I believe people view married people that way because of the responsibilities we have such as kids, jobs, bills, PTA, etc. and all the stress that goes along with it. If you are committed to your partner you find the time. I think it is more romantic and interesting for people to view non married couples as having a more active sex life. I thought the same thing when I got married. I think if married couples just speak up about how it really is in a marriage that can help a little in changing the consensus.

Answer 28

I believe it to be that that the other person believes it to be a control issue. When one of the other persons feelings get hurt I believe that it is a away to punish the other person. Unusually the one who enjoys the sex.



I think that sometime women hold out for emotion reasons. Feelings get hurt so they will not want to have sex. ( most of the time I am sure the husband has no clue as to why our feelings are hurt) I am only saying women because most men ask for it to where the women do not. That is why the women have the power. ( which is not good) We should be asking for just the same. Maybe that would spice up all oo ours marriages LOL



Sometime married couples just need to have the sex. I do not believe that it always has to be romantic and special. Like I said sometime we just need it.



I think that the reason most thinks it stop is because we are not dating as long and plus now and day people are sleeping together too soon and so when they get married it does not really stop its not a new. If you look at long term boy/girl friends you will find them saying the same thing.



If you have an open enough marriage then this should not be a problem.

Answer 29

Well, that might be true of the consensus of a opinion of someone that has happen to. No one can change this unless they really work toward why does it stop when we get married. When you get married it should not stop but, after all the wedding, dating, etc. people change for the worse or for better. People marry for so many reasons, and if they don't realized that we love one another then the marriage takes a toll on both person. If there was a poll for this question how many and you would vote on it. People opinions are only that. Hey some of us would agree and some won't depending on the history of marriage.

If you want to have sex then have it, if not then deal with it. Sex is just what we both have to want together. Is not a issue, it's part of nature universal. To multiple the earth, that sex. To make love is totally different. In love makes sex special.If people don't want to have sex after the marriage hey that's there issue. My opinion is change in us to make sure that we are happy and make the right choices. In some cases this is a fact. That after marriage sex stops.Those two persons would need to work hard to make sure they work on areas like that. Sex therapist are there to help us with problems.

Answer 30

Hey Jackie....I'm sure you know the answers yourself.



But even as a little girl watching romantic TV shows, I would always be sorry if the couple got married....because already, at such a young age, I knew the relationship would change, and romance would start to diminish.



It's understandable that everyday living habits, financial worries, children etc. etc., all take their toll, but I think the biggest problem is lack of time!



We know longer have to put on the 'nice' act to try and impress....we have achieved our goal, and we get lazy.... Routine takes over, and we don't work hard enough on the relationship to keep the romance alive. We tend to think it should be easier to maintain.



We need to take the time for our relationship! If we can hold down a job...being nice all day to our co-workers....why can't we spend a couple of hours with our spouse when we get home....a quiet drink perhaps, a chat,. If we can run children to and from school, ballet lessons, sports etc., why can't we take the same amount of time for our relationship?



There are some good marriages where this does happen....but as you know, not many.

We should put some insurance into our future, by investing in our relationship more. If romance is there....then so the sex will be.

Answer 31

I think the longer two people are together, the older they get, ill health can take a big part in this consensus. Alot of things can contribute to the rise and fall of ones libido. I don't believe that the word married means that the sex stops. My husband and I had great sex for the first 20 years of our marriage until the stresses of life began to interfere. Ill health, work, finances, children, etc...



I believe you can probably find the same consensus in all other arena's of relationships. One doesn't have to be married to have ill health, children, employment and financial woe's that could contribute to the decline in sexual desires.



The consensus in my opinion is a myth, a misconception of real fact and evidence. And so, this consensus should be legally stamped as Myth, no longer with merit of fact.



Lets initiate and conduct another consensus and label it with the question:



Why is it the consensus of opinion in today's social and economic culture that when you get into any type of real commitment whether married or not, sex stops?



Can you see where I am going with this? I believe the consensus to be very out dated. Do an amended consensus...

Answer 32

Well, the definition of consensus is: majority of opinion: or general agreement. And...speaking from a married male, 34 with 3 kids, it is 100% true. We have not had sex in about.............(sorry still thinking)......you get the picture. I have more female friends than male and most of them have the same issue with their man! I cannot believe that their men do not want sex with these women. However, I have spoken to married couples that do not have such a challenge in their bedroom. Jackie, to answer your second question, I think do everything to keep the "Fire" alive (that goes for him too). Don't get caught up in the same old routines, mix it up every now and then. Go out to new places, meet new people, and stay active together. As for you sex life, COMMUNICATE. Help eachother perfect eachothers technique and talk about things that make you feel good and ask what he likes. You should be fine, please do not become another satistic. Good Luck!

Answer 33

Of course, it is the consensus because we make it the consensus. SO many are complaining about not having sex during marriage, even the ones who are not married. GO figure....smile

My husband died, but we didn't stop having sex until he could not anymore due to his cancer.

But in real relationships, marriage is real and so many fall in love with the glamour and the fun parts and do not realize the not so fun parts. Sometimes sex is great, sometimes sex is just that Sex. BUT during that phase, married couples must remember they love each other and that it is always making love and not just "banging".

SO many seductresses and seducers out there that will tell the spouses that they can turn you inside out with their this or that in the bedroom, that people have fallen into that "fad" in society. What they do not realize is that is it true, folk can turn you inside out, literally. Once that is done the sex partner is gone to the next one and here that spouse comes, realizing that sex is not the answer, love is. Love is paying bills togehter and having to eat hotdogs TOGETHER, but we are happy. Love is fixing that leaky faucet and laughing about it later. Love is kissing that lovely spouse on the lips as you clean the house and know that later, there is a room that you will mess up together ...later...smile. LOVE is the car breaking down, you getting mad and kicking the tire and the spouse comes to comfort you. LOVE is a many splendid things.

ONCE that love is back, lovemaking is ON!

SOmetimes getting into that routine thing makes marriage sex boring. SPRUCE IT UP some. Buy a wig, men buy some different underwear for your wife, be that other fantasy for your spouse and we can all change this consensus!!!

Answer 34

I would have to say that the excitement of a relationship is over. When people are dating they are up to almost everything and everywhere. The romance is there all the time. When you get married it seems that after a while everything is the same. There should be a surprise in every situation in order to keep the fire burning. Both parties should do what ever it takes so the romance and the excitement will not end. Just because you are married does not mean you can not have a midnight secret meeting in the back yard or so. Make it in a place where you might just get caught and the excitement will always be there.

Answer 35

Yea, Right!!! Like Jackie Collins would actually need to ask a question like that?! It is true though, you don't seem to want sex as much once you've got the person of your dreams. Maybe you are just too busy working, having kids and doing other things? It tends to average out at 3-4 times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less depending on whether your other half is being a pain or not! That's just life.

Answer 36

Let Americans grow up regarding SEX................

When they stop giggling about their own body parts and realize that Sex is a normal function that we all need and can partake of I am sure this backwards idea will change also.





Marriage with it's over 65% failure rate itself tells the whole story.

Expectations.

Familiarity, hardship, sadness and failure are not reasons to stop having sex. Yet marriage does have many obstacles like these. Persons become confused and require help in working the issues out.

Sex can be a soothing balm for all involved.



I was married three times, so I am not perfect.



However, I had more sex after I was married than before and I never allowed the issues at hand take away form my own enjoyment of it. That would be counter productive to say the least.



People tend to have more sex before the kids come and the money runs out or the adult children move back in.



Sex education like nothing we have ever seen before is needed right now.



Couples need to know that it is OK to be sexy and stay sexy.







bb

Answer 37

I think that most people use sex as a tool to WOO the other person. That's when you pull out all the tricks and try your best to blow the mind of the other person. After you're married, almost all of the wooing stops.... the flowers, the cards, the cute phone calls, the long chats... and eventually the mind-blowing sex. It becomes something that you just don't put much effort into because you've already achieved the desired effect. You cram really hard for a test, but once you've passed the course, you don't continue pulling all night study sessions, right? That's the same mentality applied to sex after marriage. It's unfortunate, but true. Luckily, my hubby and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and still have the most incredible sex ever. Our philosophy is: when the intimacy is good, the relationship will always feel young and new.

Answer 38

Jackie, I am not sure where this consensus came from, but I have been married for 15.5 years and I have sex as much as I possibley can. Sometimes things happen here and there where you may have dry spells it can do to stress even other than the marriage. A dry spell for me is one week, my husband knows I go crazy after that. :-) I would say the biggest thing is to try and keep it alive try different things. As I have learned the longer you have been married and older you get what turns you on changes. Sometimes you take each other for granted STOP! doing that baby each other. A man wants constant respect and a woman wants to know she is loved. Give each other what you need emotionally and once those needs are met the rest will follow.

Answer 39

I am a man who has been with my girl for 9 years and married for seven. My wife is 50 and I'm a couple years younger, I can say for an absolute fact that sex does not stop, or even slow down, she wants it more than I do now. I think that is an old belief, that sex stops, and it was due to the fact that women were the primary caregivers for any children as well as in many cases their husbands, then at the end of the day didn't need, or want, anything else but sleep. As far as changing that opinion goes, just show your own partner it's not true and don't worry about the rest

Answer 40

Interesting question. I can't really come up with a reason that people think that.



But look at the number of families that are not started until after a couple are married. Or the number of families that continue to grow after a couple are married. Obviously there is still sex going on after the nuptials.



In fact, I've known couples whose marriages were falling apart, but they still slept together. The wife was talking about getting a job so she could make more money and leave her husband and in the next breath talking about going home and getting some.



I think people use the whole sex stops after marriage thing as an excuse to not get married. I mean everyone wants it right, using that as an excuse, they can still get laid without making that life long commitment to each other.

If there's a fight, they can just walk out so to speak. No long messy divorce etc. etc. Its a cop out.

Answer 41

Well I believe as it's been put that. It's kind of like eating the same thing everyday.

Unless you know how to keep it entertaining in the bed room Sex tends to get boring. If you can't keep it spicy and spontaneous then it get's stale. Stale sex = work - not fun.



So how do you keep it fun? Well the first thing is don't have sex everyday!!! Anything to often tends to get boring.

Find something new and exciting to do.

Role playing is always fun. (make sure the kids are away or sleeping soundly)

Dress up like a doctor a nurse.

Tie someone up.

Purposley be louder then normal.

Add food to your sex diet.

Be crazy with it.

Make sex a celebration.

Stop having sex in the bed for a month try new places around the house (if your really brave) around the city.

Write a note to your spouse about what you want to do to them when you get home.

Call them on the phone and whisper sexy somethings in thier ear.

Tease your spouse by not letting them kiss you when they want.

Don't let them touch you until you let them.

BE CREATIVE!!!!



The second thing that people seem to have a problem with is because they are tired from working all day or just the run of the mill long day.



How do you fix this?



Sleep naked with your spouse you'd be suprised what may happen at 3 A.M. after a cat nap.



Sex in the shower(or tub) is perfect for overworked spouses. The shower is refreshing and revitalizes both of you.



Go to bed really early with your spouse.



You and your spouse take a random day off together.



Eat right stay healthy and your energy will sky rocket.



Just some thoughts of mine.



Sex stops because you let it. Or someone is mad at you. One or the other.

Answer 42

Hi...firstly Sex does not stop after marriage, unless the couple want it to....



All the time you hear women/men in their little groups bagging on the opposite sex, the men grumbling about their wifes nagging and the women having coffee groups talking about how lazy or untidy or bla bla.....their men are.



Have folk never heard of the saying - 'what you give is what you will get' or 'talk or think about it enough and it will be' or 'Like attracts Like'....



Basically if husbands and wives keep investing in each other negatively their bank accounts will be empty, the interest rate will go way down and then there will be nothing to retire on!



Cut each other a bit of slack, take it easy. If you want to feel better 'get it on!'.

It ups your mood and reconnects you both.



Easy for the guys to 'get it on' not so easy for the ladies cause we think way tooooo much.



Gota stop that girls, give your man a bit of honest loving and he will give you the world. A guy needs to know that you love him just as much as you want him to listen or put out the rubbish.



So what can be done to change this consensus?

Invest wisely and then tell everyone about the great rewards, spread the word...

And then.......Retire with a Smile!

Answer 43

Well, if you go through a huge, princessy wedding with all unncessary wedding trinkets and hand-written invitation cards, you retard to the state of a 3 year old and become an asexual being. Not to mention weddings make you broke, and when you are broke, sex is the last thing on your mind. That's bad, because even when you're sick you still want sex.



So much hype is attached to the rite of marriage that's downright awful and tiring, and there's nothing to look forward to after it. No falling in love, no shooting stars. The mad sex you can have any time before getting married.



Those who have survived this, come back and tell. Hence the consensus.



So get married on a whim in Las Vegas in a clown costume and get over it, or don't get married at all. I say even better.

Answer 44

Well it could change only if the married couple decides to change the consensus. They can keep up a strong sex life after marriage. Thus when surveys are taken you will see a change. I know one thing if i were ever to get married I would be the same sex monster I was before the ring was slapped on my finger. I also think it has to do with how liberated you are in regard to sex. If you were raised to think sex is a bad thing then you will have some problems with sexual expression before and after marriage. There are many different reasons. The spouse could have let themselves go and have become unattractive to the other. So basicly for many many different reasons.

Answer 45

Maybe because the wife will be too busy taking care of the house, the husband and soon after, the kids that at the end of the day, she feels tired she just wants to sleep. If she's working, the same excuses - exhaustion. Or the husband is too exhausted when he comes home from work that he just wants a sip of his favorite drink and jumps into bed.



Well, that is mostly what is happening to married couples these days. They give more input to building a new home, working for a future free of hardships and planning to save before they start thinking of having a family. With all these things in their mind, busy as they are, who would ever have the appetite to have sex?



Well, I think nothing can be done to change the consensus as long as couples are fixated on reaching their goals and continue living the fast-paced kind of life.

Answer 46

Once marriage happens, reality seems to kick in even more. All of a sudden, it seems as though work and everything else that is an everyday occurrence seems to wear things down. Stress sets in, and it takes over not only the marriage, but your own personal life. With all of that stress being such a burden, it weighs the relationship down to the point that it can seem to interfere with the sexual aspect of marriage. Before getting married, people don't have that "burden" of having to maintain a healthy relationship. Marriage is for better or for worse. People try to make it better, and makes things more stressful. That only seems to make it worse. What seems may be the best way to change the consensus is to have the consensus have less stress in the relationship; both personally and as a couple. People just need to do whatever it takes to relieve stress. Those couples that don't have that sex problem from those that I know use the sex to relieve the stress. Ironic, huh?

Answer 47

Instead of oohing and ahhing over the young girls who are acting promiscuous. Ask the people who have been happily married for years what it feels like to know that the man you love is by your side and still thinks you are as beautiful or more so than the first day you two met! Let people know that sex is natural and beautiful, and that it's okay for old married couples to have sex too!I think that sometime women hold out for emotion reasons. Feelings get hurt so they will not want to have sex. ( most of the time I am sure the husband has no clue as to why our feelings are hurt) I am only saying women because most men ask for it to where the women do not. That is why the women have the power. ( which is not good) We should be asking for just the same. Maybe that would spice up all oo ours marriages LOL

Answer 48

Sex doesn't stop when you are married, it simply chugs to a slower pace. When a woman meets and falls in love with a man, every blessed hair on his head is sexy. His eyes are beautiful, his body is like a Greek God's, his every word is romantic. Every move he makes is a turn-on.



After marriage, it doesn't take long to find out that Lothario is only a person. His breath can smell, his socks can stink, he doesn't pick up his underwear and he has a pot belly you didn't even notice before you took your vows.



Then the kids come along, and Lothario...whom you have renamed Loathario...takes up a permanent position on the couch running the remote as though he were the captain of Star Ship Enterprise, in another galaxy, leaving you to chase after a two year old and convince an eight year old that homework is not material for paper airplanes.



Resentment...plain and simple...that is the reason sex fades after marriage. Here he is, a member of the adult working world who turns into a turnip after dinner, and even if you have a challenging job, you are left with dinner, the dishes, the aforementioned homework and possibly the laundry.



You can't feel romantic when you haven't seen your man in a standing position for several evenings and, if he does rise off the couch, it's to get another beer. At this point, you read Women's Magazines that tell you to liven things up by pretending to be a Dominatrix or buying whipped cream or one of a dozen different things intended to keep romance alive. The thing is, your Loathario doesn't look alive at all. He has dozed off on the couch in the middle of Monday Night Football and you still have a load of wet ones to dry.



That, in a nutshell, is why Sex can dry up and float away like dandelion fluff in the wind. If your hubby can help out with the chores and share a little responsibility, things can be better. If not, it's welcome to a wonderful sex-free existence!

Answer 49

When you are new into a relationship that is when the sex is exciting as you are getting to know the other person. Who says it stops?? I have never been asked. Who does these surveys? I do not think you can generalize. I think Sex changes during the marriage, especially when you have children. Not only are you a little weary after having a baby, but a lot of women do not feel sexy with their figures afterwards. So how do we change the consensus? Ask more people, I am sure they will say "Sex stops after marriage?

Answer 50

I think your statement is false. I do not believe the consensus of opinion is that it stops. I do believe that the consensus is that the level of sex is reduced, because I believe it is reduced after a while. It is one thing to go out on dates, separate from everyday cares and responsibilities. It is another thing to have that person there when you also have to deal with all the details of the rest of your life. I find your question interesting too. You refer to sex, not making love. Sex is over rated, making love is what counts. As for doing something to change this consensus, I'm sorry, but who cares? There are more important things in life besides a discussion like this.

Answer 51

Answer: Because it does and people talk about it. My marriage is the punchline to ever comedian's joke.







Truly I feel that people marry under the wrong circumstances and often for the wrong reasons.



Also, waiting a couple years into your marriage before you have children would be wise. I know of several people that would agree that children too early can destroy sex in a marriage.





My last comment would be that you should be certain of your emotional availability before you wed. Many of us have baggage we carry around that we've never dealt with. Marriage is an enormous undertaking and the stresses of that can bring out deeply seeded scars from years past. Women that may have been raped or abused as children or teens, often are quite sexual active with their husband to be, but once wed he becomes the enemy. Men that have spent too much time masturbating to ever more raunchy pornography often become bored with the traditional sex in the marriage and go back to their computer/dvd player for stimulation. And then there are people that are gay that marry the opposite sex because they somehow have convinced themselves that they can be happy in this lie.





So, how can we change it?



Be honest with ourselves and to those we love.

Remember that money does not equal happy and even though you're broke, you can still make love.

Remember that money doesn't equal happiness and you don't have to work all the time.

Be open about what you want and expect from each other long before you wed.



Live together and know each other long before you marry.

Answer 52

Dear Jackie,



Great question. Two things in response: 1. Facts and 2. Good news.



1. The facts: Research consistently shows that married people have more fulfilling sex lives than single people. Yes, yes, it's true. I'd be happy to provide you with the supporting research on this from multiple sources.



2. The good news: While many marriages (and marital sex lives) become unsatisfying as they get into the business of everyday married life, they don't have to. Great relationships are not for the select few. They are possible for those who are willing to learn the correct mindsets and practice the skills required of great relationships. I can happily say that 15 years into our marriage that the sex is better than it was early in our marriage. This is because our relationship is better, our friendship is closer, our commitment has deepened, and our intimacy is based on only on the physical but on every other level that matters. Is this because I'm just a great guy? No, it's because we've committed to doing the hard work that makes our relationship easy and enjoyable to be in. The good news is that this isn't true just for my wife and I. The good news is that 80-85% of my clients who came in on the "verge" of divorce now report relationships better than they ever thought possible. The bottom line is simply this: When the relationship gets great the sex gets great.



Wishing all of you the courage to do what it takes to make your relationships great!



Jonathan D. Sherman, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist and Relationship Coach

Bardos Relationship Consulting

http://bardos.net

801.787.8014

Answer 53

There is no consensus of opinion. Some couples still have sex and some do not.



I know lots of couples like us who still have the same amount of sex before marriage as after.



I also know some couples who have gained weight and they don't feel sexy as often. Clearly, they could lose the weight by eating better and working out and then their sex life might come back, but it is not guaranteed.



I also know couples where one person has a higher libido than the other person. So sex slows down a bit.



There are couples who experiment a lot and some that only experiment on vacation.



There is a lot of diversity out there. If people work at changing their habits, then they will succeed, but both people have to work hard at it.

Answer 54

Let’s face it – new love affairs are scandalous and exciting… marriage isn’t! Marriage is car repayments and leaky faucets and messy faced babies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but there are plenty of distractions that take the focus off sex. It is hard enough for married couple to find some time to spend together… so swinging from chandeliers is just not going to happen! But I think finding a new level of comfort with each other is what marriage is all about.

To change the consensus that sex stops after marriage people need to stop whinging about the small things that drive them crazy about their partners and give off an overall impression that things couldn’t be better.

Answer 55

Sex doesn't have to stop after marriage. I think that people have been told that so much that when they do walk down the aisle they think that is the way it is supposed to be. Sex never stopped for my spouse and I. It did slow after we had our son but never stopped. I just think that everyone has their ups and downs as far as sex goes. That is normal. When the sex stops the marriage needs to be evaluated and counseling needs to be an option. Marriage is work and most people get lazy. Also I have seen women that after the wedding they just let themselves go. You have to keep the sizzle going. Men are visual creatures and women work on emotion. Once we figure this out and how to manipulate both the sexes in a relationship then we will have it made. Also, sex was designed for the marriage bed only. The idea is that sex is supposed to start with marriage not stop because technically there is not supposed to be sex before the marriage. However, this being a not so perfect world, we all know that many have decided to forgo the traditional.

Answer 56

Well there's a patronising question if ever I saw one - of course you asked that question because you were really interested in hearing the answer with all your millions and beauty didn't you - Yeah right!



Well let's assume for a moment you DID actually ask this question with sincerity - ever heard the expression:-



'familiarity breeds contempt' - a desire between two people can be extinguished over time because their every day lives get in the way, principally for many in this world, the worry of having enough money (get my drift) to pay the bills; and when the recriminations start - the rot starts to set in and voilà - you have a sexless marriage!



If there is a consensus and I'm not sure I'd agree there is - it's probably a case of 'there's no smoke without fire' when it comes to the reputation of the course a couple's marriage will take.



So of course Jackie - this so called 'consensus of opinion' you wish to wring you hands over, is of real personal concern for you there in your mansion isn't it?

Answer 57

I think that is the consensus of opinion due to the fact all you see on talk shows/ in the news are ppl complaining they need to cheat because of the lack of sex at home. Media exploits such issues and make them seem like this is the norm. Sex when your married doesnt stop, isnt less exciting, or more spontonanues unless your parnter and you make it this way. Yes finding time between kids, jobs, and home can be difficult but thats what can make it fun and exciting. A quickie in the bathroom, taking a bath at night when they go to bed, trying to find the time, and make it fun is the challenage. Sure some weeks your luckly if you have it once others week what is sleep lol. You may not be going at it like rabbits ( like you did when you first got intimate) but its more about quality not quanity. People get out of their marriage what they put into it. So if married people are finding their sex lives lacking, do something about it.

Answer 58

It's not true. I'm sure for some people it is, but for many it isn't. I've been married for a lil over a year and my sex life has not slowed down at all....I know what some would say "it's only been one year, wait 10 years..." I doubt it! I can't see myself not wanting my husband as much as I do now in 10, 20, or even 50 years... I'm mean, now, I want him more and more everyday...

I guess it just depends on the couple tho. To some sex just isn't THAT important after a few years, or they just can't seem to find the time for it, or so on.... Hey! A quicky takes just a few minutes! Make the day a little better!!

I believe that more of the ppl who think along these lines should speak up to make it known that the whole "get married, sex stops" thing isn't true.

Answer 59

I n my opinion , and what I have seen is, when people get married they take each other for granted and the challenge is gone some people have told me that they like the chase .How can it be changed? Only if one or both partners are sexually frustrated enough to want to change it by asking thier partner what can they do to make that person happier I think communication is always good, and part of communication is listening.When I was young, I thought sex was more important than any thing, that if I could get pleased and please my partner, The rest would work itself out , I did'nt realize until I got older that it is important but,not everything.Ilove my husband more today as my best friend than I did when we were younger and we were having sex at least once or twice a day,or sometimes more ,we ended up breaking up for awhile because we were to needy,and dependent on one another we learned by completely letting go, when we were re-united neither one of us planned on getting back together and someday getting married.But we could never let each other go completely, we stayed friends and if I could help some one from going through that because we did waste alot of time, and hurt others. However we all have our own journey.I think the reason it happens is because as a couple stays together, the meaning of the word changes as well.Why? Because reality is forever changing.

Answer 60

I think the general consensus is when you get married, the sex eventually stops. In my opinion, sex is important in a marriarge and therefore should be happening throughout the marriage and even into old age. How does a couple achieve this. First off all a desire to have a happy sex life. Then comes good communication, staying fit and healthy, personal growth, trying new and exiciting things. Basically its all about working on oneself to have a happy and fulfilling life and growing as an individual. If both couples keep working on these objectives, the sex will follow. Theres a great quote, but I forgot who said it, but it goes like this, "The key to a happy sex life and marriage is to fall in love over and over again - with the same person".

Answer 61

Jackie, I think we have to ask Lucky Santangelo and Lennie what they think about this question, we are all sure that they will be able to provide an answer we will all be satisfied with, right? *Winks*



On another tone, wise Gino would certainly like to voice his opinions on this (hehe) and Anthony Bonar, the irresistible bad guy might have some comments that will be suitable to encourage the change of this consensus. Shhhh...don't let Max see this question, let Lucky and Lennie teach her instead. hehe



***



Haha, what about my views ?

My friend, it's all about culture, media and books.



Culture: Where we grow up and how we were taught



Media: What newspaper, radio and Television proclaim as trends



Books: You can only know this too well Jackie, haha, you must already now know how much an Influence Lucky is to so many people out there. Keep up the good work Jackie, she definitely can change this consensus. *Winks*



Best Regards,

Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas

Answer 62

To get to the answer or answers, you first have to identify the causes. I believe it has to do with increased responsibilities and more pressures on time. When you are single, you have a lot less cares then when you are married because it is no longer just about yourself. Why this happens, I don't know. But it's like 1+1 does not equal 2 but it equals 3 and responsibilities somehow get compounded. Maybe part of it also that once you have find a mate that gives you somewhat more freedom to focus on your work. You may have to in order to meet additional expenses. To change the consensus will require lots and lots of effort. There has to be a want there.

Answer 63

Because in many marraiges it does. Everything loses its newness after awhile and just becomes a part of life. So many people stop giving the effort to keep their relationship interesting and exciting the couple soon will become tired of one another, both emotionally and sexually. The world has gotten rather lazy when it comes to relationships, people have this odd idea that once it is it always will be, that is far from the case though. If you want a happy successful marraige you have to work at it, you have to rekindle those feelings you had when you first met. You have to focus more on how much you love and appreciate your spouce rather than if he mowed the lawn or took out the trash. If you truley take the time to appreciate one another, sex will remain one of the greatest pleasures you could experience. But if you focus all your attention elsewhere sex becomes more of a chore that takes time away from other things or that uses too much energy.

If two people appreciate one another and go out of thier way as much as they can to please their partner then they will go out of their way in the bedroom just the same to please their partner just to ensure their upmost satisfaction!

People just dont want to give the effort anymore and they grow apart and care less and less about one another each day, many seem more like roommates than couples. If you neglect one another in the living room and kitchen, tghen you will do the same in the bedroom.

The world has changed alot and so have the people in it, so many people let marraige become a burdon that it has become a popular opinion, with marraige there is sex which also has become a burdon so many people beleive when you marry sex is over and that is how the live out their lives.

It does not have to be that way though, marraige can be wonderful and exciting and the sex can be awesome throughout the entire commitment.If you want to go against statistics and keep the flame on high in the bedroom, the first thing you have to do is change how you treat and respect each other out of it

Answer 64

This is a great question. I hear guys joke about that to other guys before they get married and I think....wow thats a shame.



I know that it does happen, I can think of about 8 couples that we are friends with that have this problem and when us ladies get together I hear the same thing...they feel taken for granted and dont want to have sex. Their husbands wooooed them before they were married and once the 'honeymoon was over' the courtship seemed to stop. It was like "well the chase is over".



So many more people talk about that then when the sex is good. I for one am one of those "the sex is gooood" people. BUT there was a short period of time where we were falling into that "we are taking eachother for granted" phase and it wasnt so good. We worked on it, and we decided to figure out why the courtship ends when you get married. The answer we found was.....it doesnt. I think it takes more effort in the romance department when you are married and have kids. Its a little more stratigic than spontaneous but stolen moments are everything and can keep that romance hot.



What we can do to change this is talk about it more. Dont let marriage become a living arrangement. Steal a kiss, leave sexy notes, read a sexy book together in bed, just talk. Marriage is work, but let me say, its a "job" I love.



:-)





PS I love your Novels!

Answer 65

Hello Jackie...Ummm...I beg to differ. When I first got married my now ex=wife and had sex all the time, two or three times per day and after twelve years we still did every day at least once so...you see everyone is not in the consensus....I think that's just what people who don't want to be married say anyway.....To change this belief the people need to make getting married a more serious matter than just going to the J.O.P. and boom your married....Were's my cake already...I'M HUNGRY!!!!!...Sorry about that got a little carried away....You see people have taken what used to be called an institution and turned it into a funny farm...Why anybody and their brother can marry anybody and nobody questions it...People need to have better reasons for getting hitched than OOPS!!!I accidently got Susie knocked up.Oh-Well I guess I'll marry her. You see people have forgotten how to take time-out...They have forgotten to stop and smell the roses once in while..Just think were the world would be without roses...A little sadder I think...Sex between couples is supposed to become better and stronger and last a lot longer when they get married...But...and this is a BIG BUTT....Most of them don't remember why they ever wanted to get married in the first place...So why would they want to make love to each other when they no longer are having fun being with someone they want to be with, instead they feel like they are having sex with the one they have to be with...The only way to change this is to reinstitute the old fashioned way of thinking...CD

Answer 66

You are together all the time so the urgency is not there. We can have sex anytime because we are together every night. Then there are the nights when moods arent right because someone didnt do the dishes or whatever. BUT sex is very important and is a very good way to get close to your spouse and is an important part of any marriage. I know my wife and I go in spells. We will have sex everyday for a while and then not . Sex does not stop when you get married it just changes and can be better than it ever was before.

Answer 67

Is it necessary to change the consensus? The sex does not stop, but there is less sex. So many people claim that's true, and having been married myself, I know it happens. So if it's true, any attempts to change the consensus of opinion would be deceitful.



We could and we should try to change the way we behave. But I think the way we behave is at least partly dictated somewhere in our genetic imprint. Sex is scary, as we are not able to fully control this basic need. We drink when we're thirsty and eat when we're hungry and that's socially acceptable. But sex is not equally acceptable, and it is scary because we don't fully understand it, can't control it, can't quench the desire, and the desire for it varies, changes, transforms, and makes us anxious. We naturally want things we can't or shouldn't have, this is how we compete with ourselves and maintain evolution within our own specimen.



Married sex is safe. It doesn't contain the variety and the element of danger that makes sex so desirable, it makes us comfortable but does not make us progress.



We need to progress. Married sex doesn't do that.



The only solution would be falling in love with your spouse all over again. In a passionate relationship that is possible. When we're in love our desire for sex is strong, we're bold and full of power. Happiness generates sex... and other positive emotions as well. But how do you accomplish this, is another question.

Answer 68

It is not that it STOPS, it is just that you develop other ties to each other that also can be just as satisfying. You also grow older, and need more sleep, more rest, and more time to spend alone as your life becomes filled with children, work, home repair, and other things of everyday life. We have gone from 3 times a day every day when we first got married and dated to an average of once a week at 14 years of marriage. Sometimes we still are rabbits for a few days, but sex has changed. It may not always be as often, but it can be much more satisfying as you know how to please your partner and emotionally connect on a more intense level. Sometimes the sad but true realization comes that a few moments alone with each other to relax without small distractions can be more rewarding than tearing each others clothes off! To change it? Make it so that people don't have to work 60-70 hours a week to make it in today's world and are not so exhausted with family and other obligations.

Answer 69

Look, I can understand the consensus but, you gotta try to make it work. People say that when you have kids and other things to do that sex is the first thing that gets bumped off, well that's because you let it happen, that's why there is grandparents or babysitters. You gotta keep the spice going, don't let it get routine. I know me and my wife will always have that spice because we love eachother and know that sex is a crucial element to the overall health of the marriage. Look guys, you gotta do all the little things like, cuddling, kissing, spoiling her with gifts, helping her out with some of the housework, letting her know how sexy she is, if you really love your wife, these things should be very simple and automatic. A real man steps up and does something and pleases the woman he loves not just sits around the T.V. and drinks beer.

Answer 70

Talking about it is a good thing.

Like parents to children.

Just being open and honest at the appropriate time/age.



It does'nt hurt to let them hear a few noises every so often either.



One reason people think sex stops after marriage is cuz they never hear or suspect any evidence from mom and dad.



Many parents don't discuss sex with their children and the child learns on their own and, maybe learns/experiences some things they really may have wished to have avoided.

Like...

"What is prego?".







The consensus?

Well, the mob rules and the media sells it what it believes.

And the mainstream media tells (portrays/suggests/promotes) lies.

Maybe we can counteract it with/through/via the internet.

Tell the truth.





Consensus.

Hmmm.

Well, I don't subscribe to polls or statistics, cuz they never reflect all interests, positions, outlooks, etc.





Consensus.

Get the facts.

The bible.

1 Corinthians 7.

Etc.





Does'nt matter what any "consensus" best guesses at.

It's what each married couple determines, mutually.

It does'nt matter if they have sex or not.

What matters is their devotion.

And faithfulness to God, alone.

And the sacredness of that covenant often not disclosed to any consensus' full knowledge.





Consensus.

The consensus in regard to marital sex often only registers the voices of they that are very open about their sex lives. Primarily being the very liberal "anything goes" crowd.

There are many of us of whom you will never hear our sex-life 411.

Something bout, sacredness.



It does'nt matter what "other" people do, or don't do.

What matters is devotion, and devotion to the truth.





Btw, one reason sex is/can be so great, is somethin bout "be fruitful and multiply". Hehe.

God gave us a lil inspiration to bear Him many children to love. Would appear He is VERY desiring of MANY!

Sex is the top seller.

It sells amost everything now.

Sex is now taking over the world. Lol.





But, it's sad.

But, is the course of man.

The beast is rising.





Get ready. Hang on!





It's gonna get ugly.







-DC-





.

Answer 71

it's a consensus because when you get married, couples do get relaxed and they forget about the time when they first met.

It's also important to know that there are certain responsibilities in the household like chores that needs to be attended to. Living together is exhausting and has major responsibilities in result.

Intimacy is a very big part in a couple's life and without it well, it would be almost impossible for them to work on their partnership.

Treat each other with respect, communicate, and most of all understand each other.

Sex will kick in pretty much after communication because that is a big part in love making.

Results matters, when you communicate your love making gets better, thus making your communication better.

Sex or intimacy doesn't have to stop in a marriage. Communicate and the ball will just keep rolling.

Answer 72

Sex never has to stop! If you are the gurl than u have all th control. I dont think I have heard too many guy complain about getting 2 much sex. But I have b 4 and now I would like to say that its never enough!!! There are so many things that anyone can do to please there partner(s). Guys love oral, an you dont have to do it 4 long. An if he aint intrested after that then u can always open up more areas to him, But if hes gay then he's just gay. but a guy should never turn don the chance to get that one-time satisfaction. When u are married then a guy expects to get it all the time and a woman expects to get all the romance in the world. The problem is that nieather 1 of you have to b fake anymore and your true colors show. thats what you want someone to love u 4. The person you r, not the person they want u 2 b.

Answer 73

Not that sex stops but that it becomes infrequent. Then if you want sex more than once a week you become some kind of freak. There has to be a way for one partner or the other (it isnt always men that want more) to work tto increase the amount of post marital sex without seeming to be a pervert. To be able to go out, get a book to read about what things to try and not be made to feel like you are one of those dirty old men coming out of the mid afternoon porn flick. Talking doesnt help, nor does watching Oprah (saw the episode where dr oz said you should have sex 200 times a year, that didnt go over well)

Answer 74

I have to say that my sex life has not ceased to exist, but has definitely y slowed down since marriage and family. But i think it is because i am a new mom who works full time as a nurse and quite frankly, i am exhausted. Some nights i don't feel much like taking a shower, so the thought of exerting the energy to have sex is excruciating. But i love my husband and am still very much attracted to him. one thing that helps get me in the mood is for him to do some of the things around the house that I usually handle, changing the baby, loading the dishwasher, cooking, cleaning the bathroom, etc.

I think the media and TV have a lot to do with this misconception. Perhaps by showing more passionate married couples in movies and on TV, we can change the way people think about a married life and sexuality.

Answer 75

Sex to some people means more than it does to others. When you are married, since that is the one you said you will live with until death do you part, it should be worked out. The beginning is to look at each other as being the most attractive person whom ever will live. Next find out what each other likes, and dislikes. Not working on the situation will not make it better, but a sexually satisfied marriage is one of the greatest experiences in the world. Surveys have shown that usually the best sexual experiences occur in marriages, and they have the most sex. Also, what is not health in a marriage is talking about how much better someone else is other than the spouse. Sex begins in the morning time, and the fore play is much more than touching, and talking about sex. Find out what is your spouses love languages,(what they like) and play to them all through the day.

Answer 76

The consensus is half right, I wouldn't say it stops all together but it does slow down after you get married, after so many years of marriage, the days of having sex 3-4 times a day, and the all-night marathons we had when I was in my twenties is just a memory now. The only thing we can do to change the consensus is to have more sex. Thanks for bringing back some memories of my youth!!!!

Answer 77

Jackie All I know is that my sex life has slowed down some2-5 times a week some weeks more some weeks less. It a lot easier now that pergeancy is out of the picture.,but to hear my girlfriend's talk ,they either have no sex since there last kid,or I'm not sure how they do anything else ?? . I think as we get older we we think were are parents {I really don't now how they ever had children ] their sex life stop in there early 30's. thank god or who ever you believe in this is a wonderful time to be free without any hang-ups about SEX we are both in our early 50's [50&51] Women still do say hey that feels good / n o I dont like that . Same thing for men they love oral sex but ask him to [HA HA } peform oral {LOVE GIVIN & RECEVING} he has short term memory . WE as COUPLES have to open up to each other, be it oral,s/m,lite or heavy bondage, domix. So be it

Answer 78

Let’s face it – new love affairs are scandalous and exciting… marriage isn’t! Marriage is car repayments and leaky faucets and messy faced babies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but there are plenty of distractions that take the focus off sex. It is hard enough for married couple to find some time to spend together… so swinging from chandeliers is just not going to happen! But I think finding a new level of comfort with each other is what marriage is all about.

To change the consensus that sex stops after marriage people need to stop whinging about the small things that drive them crazy about their partners and give off an overall impression that things couldn’t be better.

Answer 79

The sex in marriage becomes boring same old thing. Sex goes through different phases in a relationship and sometimes people sex drives aren't the same. Maybe the female feels the male has to initate sex all time and feels awkward initating. Other problems become overwhelming or people become tired of each other. Sex does fizzle in a marriage after a while other priorities and commitments. What can be done is romance and communication being on the same page helps in relation to sex how often. If both couples are happy with their sex life that ok ; however if one is not happy and wants either more or less sex than one partner will be frustrated. What then tends to happen is extra-martial affairs and/or close yourself off from your partner Maybe it was just companionship they wanted and they become eachothers best friends.

Answer 80

I'm 25 and have been married for 6 months.My husband and I have been together for 4 yrs in total. I wouldn't say that our sexual encounters have stopped since we've been married. I would definitely agree that you don't stop having sex, you just don't go at it like wild dogs on heat every hour on the hour, like when you first got together.



I think when 2 people first get together sex is a way of spending time with each other, it's also a way of pleasing a new partner. Your life tends to be more busy when you get married so you don't always have the time. That's where you need to make time. It might not be as sensual or sexual, but you may find that you actually have to ask for it. In a good way of course... :)

Answer 81

Looking at the majority of answers I think it depends on the couple but in all honesty I think you would also find, according to recent survey, that a high proportion of married couples acutally sleep in separate beds or rooms ! I know this is the case for me ! Not that I mind as no snoring, farting and all the other stuff but as we have 2 kids under 5 sleep is precious and this is a way we both get good quality sleep. As to wanting sex, well too tired and more interested in sleep, who knows if that will change when the children are older ! I agree with another comment tho, us girls are happy for the whole deal not just a quick "roll in the hay" and that seems to be what is on offer so often these days, again down to time and exhaustion I think - anyone got any good ideas to get men interested in romantic side of sex after marriage will probably make a bloody fortune. I think life has changed with ever mounting pressures of earning money, providing good housing and schooling for our families means we have waved goodbye to a life our parents and grandparents had, many friends who have been together 10 years plus seem in a similar position as they are generally set up in life whilst others are just starting out - good luck with the research !

Answer 82

First, I was wondering if your really Jackie Collins, The Author, and secondly, I will answer by saying don't think sex really stops. We all get married, and get into our routines. We go to work, we drive to the cleaners, to day care, or whatever our tasks may be, and when we're all done with our obligations as married adults, we're not in a big hurry to do the things that aren't part of our "busy scheduled lives" So, our pursuit of intimacy falls to the way side as we trudge on. Never realizing what we've sacrificed to get to our "married and successful lives". we love each other as much as we ever have, maybe more, and when there is a lull in our obligations, human nature takes us over and we remember what we're really here for

Answer 83

The only thing that can change this perception, is to lead by example. People see me and my wife and they see we are completely absorbed in each other. I know I learned this from my parents.



My wife and I work together and people never see us kiss, but they do often see us hug or touch each other (on the shoulder, never anywhere racy). One coworker even asked my wife before she got married what the secret to a happy marriage was. My wife did not realize we were such a happy couple that others would want to be like us.



My parents were married 38 years when my Mom died. I know there was certainly sex in their marriage for the first 37 years! My father worshiped the ground Mom walked on and never strayed because Mom made sure she kept his interest! When I would be walking towards the living room it was not that unusual to hear Mom whisper "Stop that! He's coming back!" They always kissed each other when leaving for work in the morning, when they returned home at night, and before one went to bed.



It was kind of intimidating to me because I never thought I could have that level of affection and intimacy in my life, but I waited until I was 30 and then married the perfect woman for me. We have been married nearly 11 years and we still hold hands and giggle a lot. And nothing has changed in the bedroom since Day 1.

Answer 84

I have heard of this consensus and I don't think it applies to everyone. Each couple is different. I have been married two times and both were as different as night and day. My first husband was a taker. He had no romance at all it was wham bam not Evan a thank you mam. That marriage only lasted 2 years. Now my second husband was romantic and for the first 5 years yes 5 we had sex every day some times more than once. That marriage lasted 17 years infill he went through a mid life Crissie's and left me for a younger girl. So I think it depends on the people them selves.

Answer 85

Dear Jackie:



What stands out for me is that it seems you feel a responsibility to change the way some members of society think.



There are very many situations that couples allow themselves to enter into which then support the consensus you target.



The underlying problem is based on those who enter in a relationship before they are prepared to engender a healthy one.



In my opinion, the approach to take is to make others aware that one should first work on having a healthy relationship with ones own self before trying to have one with another person.



It is to remember that a consensus is the result of what many observe and where there is smoke there is fire in most cases.



Therefore to change a consensus the root of it must be attended.



We can never know just how accurate this particular consensus actually is, nor is it necessary for us to know. What is important here is to acknowlege the fact that many couples are unhappy and that 'sex' problems are only one unhealthy leaf on the relationship tree, when one is unhealthy the remaining probably are as well, or will soon be.



Summary:

Our society as a whole could benefit greatly if we were taught to work more on ourselves before we attempted to enter into any relationship.

Answer 86

I guess for me, it would have to be that because once i got married, the sex stopped! LOL. I'm laughing outside, but crying inside. The intimacy of a relationship between a husband and a wife is so important, and yet it seems to be the one thing used against each other in a marriage. As soon as a woman realizes that sex can be used as a tool against a man to get what she wants, or to win fights, or to make a point, it loses the intimate effect it is supposed to have. When the intimacy is gone, the desire to have it leaves as well. Sexual gratification becomes something that is no more significant than biting into a good steak or eating a great piece of chocolate cake.



When we are dating, the intimacy is still there. We can't wait to get each others clothes off and ravage away. After the intimacy goes...we figure...What's the rush? We start putting other things before sex, and before you know it...you've gone a week without it.

Answer 87

I don't think the sex stops completely, I think we tend to take more breaks than we used to when we were younger and more flirty too. Sometimes to when you have children and you live a busy life, sex is something people just don't think about as often as others.

But, then you have people who want sex just about everyday regardless whether or not, you have time. You just want it bad enough like if you don't you're about to burst.

For me, I have five children and I am quite busy with house work, and taking care of all my children and my boyfriend works. So, when we do find time to be together we charish it, and it's like wow, we should've done this yesterday. He's like I know. I wonder why I have been so edgy the last couple of days. :) We always end up with the same conversation. It's kind of funny. But, I love him and wouldn't trade him for anything else in the world.

But, recently too I have noticed though that when I am getting ready to start my period, I don't want sex, until I'm in the middle of the period because then my hormones are driving me crazy but, then my boyfriend is a chicken doesn't want to have sex when I'm on my period, so at least a whole week we don't have sex in a month, because he doesn't want to get dirty. It's funny when we were younger it didn't bother him, now it does, I mean really how hard is it to clean it off. Jump in the shower man. :)

Answer 88

The consensus can be changed by us as people highlighting the happily married couples instead of the 30min marriage and 18 divorces, that we see everyday on TV. Instead of oohing and ahhing over the young girls who are acting promiscuous. Ask the people who have been happily married for years what it feels like to know that the man you love is by your side and still thinks you are as beautiful or more so than the first day you two met! Let people know that sex is natural and beautiful, and that it's okay for old married couples to have sex too!

Answer 89

Some may feel that sex is the best thing in the world, nothing is better. This is wrong. Married ten years yes my wife and I still have the s word but sure, not as often as year 1. Marriage is waking up every morning next to that same person serving you coffee or an egg sandwich. They are cleaning up the house when you are sleep, your driving so they can enjoy the scenery. Babies grow up and you watch them grow and teach them life. When you look back on life as older couples do, do not believe they worry about how much s they have had the last five years. Is that what kept them together? Sex can be the best thing in the world but not the only best thing.

Answer 90

The consensus is formed on the misunderstanding of what love is. Sex early in a relationship (married or not) is that furious, energetic, burning passion sex. Wonderful fun, to be sure. But unsustainable. No one can live their life in a constructive way while their pants are on fire. The sex that happens in the beginning of a relationship is largely 'selfish' sex based on self satisfying rather than partner satisfying and relationship building.



Sex in a long term relationship (married or not) still contains blazes and passion, but sex now must take its proper place within the routine of living ones life. This is a place where love has the ability (if the persons are willing) to mature. Within this real life structure, partners must do the work of scheduling intimate times, sex, romance, and other relationship building activities. By working this out together they can enjoy a loving, exciting, passionate relationship that includes plenty of great sex.



I speak from experience.

Answer 91

The consensus is because married people don't talk about it as much. We don't feel the need to brag about 'nailing' our spouse like we do that hot chick or stud at the club last Saturday night. It's no longer a conquest.



Besides, at the age that sex starts to take a prominent role in our lives, 'married couples' consists of our parents. I take it for granted that my parents have done it 4 times (Their wedding night, my conception, my brother's conception, and the time I walked in on them when I was 9). But few of us want to imagine our parents getting it on, so as a defense we socialize ourselves to believe that married couples don't do it any more. And if imagining my parents bumping uglies is necessary to change the consensus, then I'm content to let society continue believing whatever it wants.



Besides, I've never heard that it's the sex that stops... just the oral.

Answer 92

I think that the "single consensus" is that sex stops with marriage. Most married couples would strongly disagree.

I've been married nearly 20 yrs and the frequency of sex has always been greater than when I was single. And it has no signs of slowing down. Also the sex is SOOOOO much better. We both know each other inside and out. We've also gotten far past the point of having any inhibitions with each other,so the sex is fantastic.

I'm quite sure we'll continue be-boppin well into our 90's!!!

Answer 93

The only way to change that consensus, is that once a man hits 30 give him a lifetime supply of Viagra. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and have lots of couple friends, and any time the sex slows, not stops but slows, it's usually the husband's fault, not that they will admit it to anyone other than there wife. I have been very fortunate after 10 years of marriage and 4 kids, and a husband that works nights, a slow week for us is only 3 times, that week. And for the men that do want it and the wives aren't putting out, wash a dish and take out the trash, that's marriage foreplay.

Answer 94

Truthfully, it does happen in many marriage, however men overrate the sex in a marriage, women have many things to deal within a home i.e. kids, household, cooking (I didn't even mention a job of her own) and all the other things that he may or may not ask her to do on top of it. while dating the sex is great for both parties I believe however after childbirth some women body change drastically and men don't and choose not to understand this for the most of it. I am not bashing truly I am not but it tick me when sex in a marriage is look upon as little to none. Now to be honest with you it does and/or have been routine however spicing it up some renew the experience for her as well add toys or watching movies may help some (not all women is turn on from seeing another vag.) different positions and caressing. Not all love making have to be done by the act of sex itself touching can be very erotic if done with smooth soft hands in a slow and delicate fashion. Sex while marriage is an easy task to achieve if both parties recognize that the act is dieing within the marriage.

Answer 95

When you move into same home or get married idea is you start being about the business of building a solid future- working for a house, college funds, small kids running around and needing everything, school, dentist appts, and the list goes on that you forget about doing the stuff for each other and yourself that kept that "fire" between you burning. You couldn't wait to talk to them to see them and now you are too tired to notice when they get home.

I believe more people are working to change the consensus- but I think the best tools to do so are an open mind, creative imagination and an understanding of the importance to make sure it doesn't happen to you. They turned you on somehow in the beginning..keep doing it!

Answer 96

If sex stops, there is likely an underlying cause. It may be temporary, an illness for example. But usually it stops because the feeling has gone out of the relationship. And most problems are exacerbated when one or both partners are unable to talk calmly and rationally to each other. Unfortunately this situation seems all too prevalent in our society. When communication stops you can bet sex soon follows. But in any event, whatever is wrong can be made right. Initially, it may be helpful to have a third party present to prompt the discussion and/or referee if things get out of hand. It is all so sad because we loved this person deeply at one time, so I think that it's worth making the effort to re-establish a balanced relationship that includes sex.

But I agree with most of the other answers, sex doesn't stop with marriage. If it stops there's a reason. Sorry for the rambling, but I hope this helps

Answer 97

I don't believe that is the opinion, I believe the opinion is that sex slows way down. In a large percentage of people who are married, it is my opinion that this is true and is due to a variety of reasons....1. The idea that I can have it anytime I want it. I can get it so why not tomorrow or the day after... 2. The chase is more exciting than a permanent partnership....3. There are a lot more things that take up your time and there are a lot more things to worry about.......These are just some of the reasons....Thanks for reading this and taking time away from having sex with your partner....

Answer 98

You know Jackie...I was asking myself the same question before I got married, I totally agree with it now. I don't have an answer for you, as I am a victim of this cliche, I would continue to have sex like when we were dating but since my wife closed up shop on me for the last four years, I don't feel it will ever be the same (with her, at least). So my educated guess is that the answer resides with the female...something happened after kids that caused her drive to become nonexistent. I think they should be made aware of this while they are pregnant, and to at least give it a try every now and then so they dont get into the vicious cycle I find most couples in....good luck.

Answer 99

At the outset of a relationship, everything is new. A new relationship provides powerful feelings, excitement, with an almost childlike experience of life, and the same needs to have questions answered, experiences fulfilled.



It’s a sudden burst of desire, overwhelming it seems, the need to be close, to enjoy the company of, to experience activities with or simply ‘be’ with your new partner. The sharing of a meal may have the same underlying mechanics as the emotional power of sex. Everything is about being new, delicious, fragrant, perhaps flamboyant, but mostly it’s about being together, the adrenaline rush of the adventure together, the thrusting of yourself into romantic dreams even if these things were never interesting at all before you met them. Sooner or later the foundation of a relationship is made.



You don’t know when it happens, but suddenly there it is. Your new partner looks better than they did. They smell better. They feel better. You sink into their arms and find the groove that you’ll forever fit into. Sex gradually shifts into the grooves. The nightly Olympic athletic event becomes a lazy stroll to the front door to get the newspaper on a Sunday morning.



Married or not, you’re together and by now the brain is wired into your partners. The romantic dinners costing $100pp every night are replaced with tuna and noodles. The theatre is replaced with Dancing with the Stars, and Greys Anatomy.



Eventually the metamorphosis from singledom to marriage is complete. Sex has not stopped. But you can’t quite put your finger on it or say exactly what it is. Perhaps it has stopped being new and exciting. Perhaps it is the grove. Whatever it is, it’s the type of sex that people may later describe as being the best they ever had. The most comfortable, or the most satisfying.



Of course, you never hear those people complain about it.



You only ever hear about relationships that are on the rocks and sex has fizzled. Misery loves company. One complaint becomes two and sooner or later it makes its way into the general consensus.



Encouraging better sex may well change it.

Answer 100

In the minds of the married masses, sex ceases for three reasons.



1. A lack of connection with your own higher self (due to the eroding effects of media bombardment) means that you do not have extra love to give.

2. Reading about dashing lovers in Jackie Collin’s tales of lust makes the snoring, hairy, flatulent spouse sleeping beside you, seem less appealing. (LOL)

3. Above all, what you think and feel is what manifests in your life. So you have to be sure that your thoughts and feelings radiate a vibration of passion. If you feel good, then more good things will come your way (so to speak).



It has been a pleasure to answer such an intricate question.

Love, Sarah

Answer 101

Personally I believe the decline in after marriage sex is strongly linked to self image and the stress of everyday life.

Many women after a few kids and middle ages has set in believe that they are simply not as attractive as they once were and that their husbands don't view them the same (often a one sided view) in such cases you can romance, wine and dine till the cows come home but if a person has a negative self image sex becomes a lights off, get it over and done with, cover up and sleep affair.

Combine that with the stress of being a successful professional in business and running a family / house and I guess its no wonder that many women have simply lost their sex drive or are too tired.

Men on the other hand just need the key inserted and given a quarter turn to have them ready to go.

Pre marriage sex was any time anywhere, now after a decade and two kids I now know why condoms come in a box of 12 - Jan, Feb, March, April........

Answer 102

I do not know what the "experts" are saying, nor do I care, but as a female bartender this is what I discovered. In most cases the husband blames the lack of sex on the wife. Saying "she lost interest" when it is the husband. Male-menopause is real and causes erection problems. Either unable to sustain one or get one at all. Because, the male ego will not allow this to be discussed; husbands fall asleep in front of the T.V. Most husbands do not even realize what the wife is wearing when she wakes him up for bed. However, wives are to be in the mood when the urge does strike. Only to have him end before she begins. After a while wives get tiered of being disappointed and lose interest. Then the lack of sex becomes our fault.



For others its the lack of excitement. The thrill of the chase and to be chased is gone. Sex becomes to predictable and routine. I have even seen some wives become prudes after having children. Crotchless panties are sinful and leaving on high heels will dirty the sheets.



There is noting wrong with a steamy provocative movie. With married couples teaching the art of seduction. Get porn out of the mind and think erotic sensual love making. Do not be scared to unleash your wildest fantasy to each other. If a husband and wife can not share that then something is wrong.

Answer 103

Marry me and we'll test the consensus ;)

No seriously, I think if more married couples realized they didn't have to be grown up all the time, and stopped taking things so seriously, they would have more energy and interest in sex.

And why not ad a few more public displays of affection? The hottest thing I have seen is this couple at church, when ever his wife is in sight, this man just freezes and watches her, and it is like the whole room just stands still as she discovers his gaze and is seemingly drawn to him, and they kiss with a short embrace. You can not help but be inspired by that kind of love, and I know that there is something else going on in that household...

Answer 104

I dont know that anything can be done to change the consensus, but it just seems to be as time goes on as a couple you have more and more real life that you have to deal with so you have to get your nose out of the sheets and deal with it.. If the real life causes conflict, you no longer feel the desire for the other person in the same way.. sex can become infrequent unmeaningful. Thats when people go about looking for a lover to have some fun amist the everyday hassles. A spark of life, romance, lust will always make you feel ALIVE...

anyhow- that is my humble opinion..

Answer 105

Where did this 'consensus' come from? sounds silly to me. But if it's true then I'd have to say that maybe sex isn't as often cause love has a way of making other more important parts of a relationship take center stage. Sex can be the exclamation on the relationship. I have a hard time believing that it stops. I've been married 10 years and it hasn't stopped instead it has gotten richer and more intimate.

Answer 106

This is a human made consensus!



When couples date they work hard to impress each other cuz they THINK they love their partner. They buy flowers, compliment each other, don't argue (much), make love, go out, do things together.



Once they get married, most couples forget that love is not just sex, its a mixtures of all those things that they used to do together while dating.



Slowly but surely this brings the lack of communication and starts a silent distance among them, that leads to divorce.



This is why there is a open consensus that when people get married, sex stops.

Answer 107

Good morning Jackie...lol..Good question!...Why is it that people believe that sex stops after marriage? Is it because they know that they can have sex anytime that they want it and they don't have to secretly hide the fact that they were having sex before marriage? Who knows? Society maybe? It starts with one tiny little rumor and it sparks like a fire cracker. Maybe the possibility is when as a child we don't see our parents engaging in the act of sex so we assume that the act isn't taking place so as we grow older we assume ourselves that after one gets married no sex is involved. Now how to change this concept might be harder than we realize. Once an idea such as this one is consumed by others thoughts then a change to the fact is hard to accept. One will always believe what they want to believe. It's hard to change a persons mind or society's ideals and views. One must start from where it once came. That will be difficult. Good luck in your quest. Have a blessed day!

Answer 108

Hi Jackie, I say I have to agree with Jenna. Hell that opinion has been around for thousands of years and will be for another thousand and a thousand and so on. It's like when you buy a new car, you're all in love with it and don't want any scratches or anything to happen to it. After a couple years if something happens to it you're like oh well, time for a new one. Now if you keep sprucinf it up and adding things then you will stay in the new car state of mind. Sex after marriage stops because people stop caring once they get married. Before marriage they buy flowers like once a week or month. After marriage, flowers seem to become once a year thing. People need to treat each other like they did before they got married.

Answer 109

Probably based on the old saying that "familiarity breeds contempt". Actually, I think that sex can get BETTER with marriage.

It's a matter of planning, making "dates" with each other, remembering the reasons why you wanted to be with the person you married, and DOING something about having those passionate feelings rekindled.

Leave the kids with grandparents once in a while, get away on mini vacations, forget all of those marital responsibilities every so often, MAKE time to be with each other.

It might also help if the men chipped in with the housework and taking care of children. Could be that possibly, everyone is just TOO tired, working full time jobs, and combining marital and family responsibilities. So, a breather is needed every now and then for the partners to rediscover each other, and have fun while doing it.

Answer 110

I would have to say in most cases it does. Circumstances change.



In some cases you have kids and you are too tired or don't have enough time or the right time for that matter.



Couples get "comfortable" and don't keep themselves up.



Stop trying to please each other, so the desire maybe lost.



More bills, stress, housework, work, etc and now exhausted to live new lifestyle.



They don't have date night and lose that special feeling when getting dressed up for each other or time alone.



Bickering about why this isn't done or why was this done!



Anyway, with new circumstances and learning to live with someone and compromising, people forget to make time for passion and sex. With all the stress and opportunity for bickering you sometimes become more focused on those and you lose that sex appeal or passion for each other. Unfortunately, it is something that you have to continually work on.



I also think women are not getting "pleased" so to say and really what's in it for them!! They have a hard time telling there partner how to please them, so it becomes a task and not a pleasure able experience.



One last thing! Birth Control Pills heavily affect the sex drive along with other meds!

Answer 111

I think one possibility is that many times the sex before marriage is a more open topic for discussion with your peers. Once you are married for a few years and you mature in the relationship, you are probably less likely to stand around the water cooler at the office or at the PTA meeting and talk about the steamy sexual encounter you just had with your horny spouse.



Another thing to consider is that sex is like wine. When you are young it is a rush just to "get drunk" as much as possible. As you mature in a relationship you appreciate the complexities of a wonderful aged wine and you enjoy the quality and familiar flavor of it.



With all that said, if the sex truly does stop after marriage it is because the couple does not put forth the same kind of effort to cultivate a sexual relationship as they did when they were "new" as a couple. It takes consistent, deliberate work to maintain a healthy sex life in marriage.

Answer 112

Its crazy i agree so many time i have read on this site women catch the man for marriage then all of a sudden there no longer interested pitty I'd say for either sex to live in a marriage without it or next to nill.



Its getting to the point you want to write up some sort of agreement that this is also very important in a marriage just like everything else and you shouldn't be able to just say thats it no more. How would women feel for the men who say okay were married now i dont' want any children.



We have prenups now and you can put anything you feel important in there. I feel that should be in there for those who want to continue yeah it might be a bit harsh. but what the women are doing after marriage is also cruel and mean.



this also goes for dead beat husbands who have low sex drives.

Answer 113

Married people no longer need to brag about how often they get it, which is one reason you don't hear about it that much. Another reason is that when the kids come, sex usually does diminish for a while due to exhaustion and lack of time and privacy. However, studies show that married people actually get more sex than the average single person. Perhaps those studies should be trumpeted more than they are. I bet if someone marketed a "sex it up" program for married couples, and advertised it well, the concensus would change a bit after a while.

Answer 114

Dear Jackie, I and so many others are your fan. I have read most of your novels. But, it does not mean that you should be allowed to spread wrong consensus here. As you can see, most of the answerers tell you that they are living happy married life and know their responsibility about family and life. Your thinking that after some years in married life people get bored and try to find some more exciting and so turn to extra-marital affairs is wrong. It might seem exciting and wonderful in novels but in real life such people are no better than jerks.

Answer 115

Sex doesn't stop, people stop having sex once they are married. Marriage doesn't change the relationship couples do all on they own. If you add love and spice to your marriage and add new and exciting things you marriage could last long. I have been with some one for 5 years now and nothing has change. We have sex at least every night and something new is always different. We roll play, we romance each other, talk to each other and try new things when we ask advice on what's new that we can try. The sex is great and I could not have ask for a better partner. If your willing to work at your marriage try working at having wonderful sex you never know what you can do until you try.

Answer 116

when people get married,they need to keep it intersting in the be room.maybe people need a little tutoring in this department.im a 46 year old male and have been in alot of relationships and some said it was the sex why they were with me for,not bragging but you have to learn each others wants and needs and be open not offended if your partner tells you it feels good a certain way then do it that way that way they dont get bored with you and keep coming back for more.send your wife to a little pure romance party and let her buy some toys to spice up your nights.dont get offended by it.open communication is the key to a good sexual relationship to keep the fire burning years later.listen to what or how they want you to do something dont just hear them.be into each other before a oil down back rub or something,it will satisfy them before and after the act.people just need educated on this subject.the only reason there could be a problem with sex after marriage is if its medical.my motto is make sure there satisfied before you get satisfied and it should keep the relationship strong,its about being selfless.

Answer 117

I think society and the media are to blame. For one, they tell us that sex is this wonderful drug-like substance that makes you feel great. While that may be true, the fact that love doesn't need to be involved takes away from the image of sex being a unifying, special experience. Secondly, there are many messages condoning infidelity. With these two factors, it's hard to imagine sex being what it was meant to be - the bond between two people in love. Instead, my 18-month-old son will grow up in a world where sex means a good time, and not necessarily for married people. If we start sending the message that sex is perfect with only one person as long as you take the proper steps to find this one person (i.e., saving the sacred part of you known as your virginity), then married people will appreciate their partners and therefore want them and only them. Perhaps we should begin by eliminating the phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side."

Answer 118

When you've just met them, they're usually younger and more physical. As you get married then you get more responsibilities. If you get married and have a kid then you can get physical, emotional, and many other changes to your body. As your young you normally concentrate more on the physical stuff because you don't have to deal with as many things as you would when your married. Taxes, jobs, children, etc. etc.. When you just get married then your a happiliy married couple and life hasn't ran you over like a truck yet. Your worry free. Although as the years and holidays go on things begin to change. You may gain weight from stress, something may happen in some other subject. Have you ever seen the pictures? Like a happy pretty woman whoes only been married a little while or isn't married. Or the comercials for the show, "Till Death". Plus have you seen pictures of people who have been married for like- 15+ years? Women are older and sorta not really pretty. Men always looks tired and many other things. In simpler things Young Married couple= more phiscal activities. Married for a long time couple= bored with each other.

Answer 119

Sex doesn't stop when you get married (most of the time) it's just harder to find the right time. Before, you could pull off to the side of the road and go at it all you wanted. Now, you have 2 toddlers in the backseat. Before, if you wanted it first thing in the morning. Now, you have a 3 year old waking you up in the morning asking for pancakes. Before, you could stay up until 3 a.m. and still make to work at 8. Now, you can hardly stay up past 10 b/c you've drained all your energy chasing after kids. Before, you could have sex on the kitchen table. Now, you have to double lock your bedroom door and shove the dresser in front of it just in case the kids wonder what you're doing. There are a lot more responsibilities that come to us after we are married (for some people before). With more responsibilities comes less time to devote to our partner. The point is to make time. Every year for valentines day and his birthday and usually Christmas, I buy my husband something that goes along the lines of sex. Whether it's a cheesy sex game, or a sexy piece of lingerie, or a dirty movie. We still make the time for each other. Granted it's not as much time as we had in our lives before the kids and dogs and house payments it's enough to keep us sane and happily married. Maybe in 15 years we'll be able to relive the good ole days but for now it's changing diapers and making mac n cheese with a smooch on the cheek inbetween.

Answer 120

Well, I don't believe that sex stops completely (although that is the major consensus). It does, however, decline drastically in frequency. This is generally caused by both parties working until they are too tired to even think, let alone think about having sex. Take my husband and I for example, he works nights and I work days. Where's the time for us to spend together? 10 minutes between when I get home and he leaves? Uh-Uh! The only time that we have for sex are on his days off and when I'm not dog tired. I believe that if the state of the economy and the cost of living wasn't so damn high and unstable (and people didn't worry so much about how the bills are going to be paid), more people would be free to have more sex. Married couples just have too much to worry about and work too hard to find time to nurture their relationship. Being married and having a family is expensive and consumes so much time holding it together, there is no time to concentrate on the important stuff. That's the reason why the divorce rates are so high and that's a contributing factor to cheating. People don't stop to realize when they start a new relationship while married, that even if the new relationship is great, eventually it's going to wind up in the same state as the marriage. It's a never-ending circle and the people are always better off sticking with the familiar and secure. The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence, it's the same grass that's in your own backyard. It would be so much easier for everyone (unless there is physical abuse involved) if everyone just stopped being so wrapped up in the money-making market and started focusing more on the family oriented things like loving your wife and kids and making your house a home rather than a place to occupy space. Thanks to everyone's all-consuming greed for more money, there's no room in everyone's life for the important things in life. We've all lost sight of the most important things in life, like family, love, and happiness. It's now all about money and who's got the best stuff. It's disgusting, but if you want to survive in this money revolving world it's necessary. It's like the economy has told everyone that if they want to make it in this world, they have to say "Screw my family, I'd rather have my money and my stuff." Hate to tell you folks, there is more to life than things and money. Besides, as the saying goes, "You can't take it with you!" Who cares if you're a millionaire at the time of your death? In the end, the man who's family he loved and they loved him is still the richer man. Think about it!

Answer 121

I never heard of that consensus. I think it [sex] is best done when married or in relationships where there aren't any flings due to health problems associated with people who have sex with many different people.



Advertising may be to blame. Social change could be brought about perhaps by advertising changes. Like advertisements that encourage sleazy flings or superficial relationships.



I was horrified by a shallow billboard at the airport recently, it showed a picture of a supposedly sexy lady, and the message read something along the lines of "she prefers a man who drives a ___"



It was saying buy our car if you want a hot chick like this! No way. That is so dumb advertisers helping promote men as the bread winners.



Yuck.



I think in families with that sort of traditional male as the bread winner set up, sometimes raise their own little girls to become very submissive.



This is bad because no employers are keen to higher submissive females. They want outgoing, bubbly confident people.



So i love gay men in relationships. It is a hoot to watch people making fun of the male and female roles. Plus looking at the gay community, you see all the diverse tastes of people, which is [i think] not so open in heterosexual world. They tell each other whether they are a top or bottom etc. and what sort of features they like.



Where as most male to female classifieds would just have a male wanting a slim female, not too young [liike under 21] because we'd all thing they're sleazy.

Answer 122

I give everyone the same advices don’t get married and that is all because sex does stop. Not all at once but gradually after about 7 years it’s only a one to two times a week. Reason is that both get to comfortable in there life and to much stress. Things then get boring and a woman after a while is not willing to try new things. The man then finds a girlfriend or mistress if he can afford one believe it or not this makes the marriage situation better. The wife makes a comment like “you are much more relaxed lately and easier to talk to” (I am because I release my stress through a lot of passionate sex).

Carl

Answer 123

When we are younger sex is such and important issue, all varying factors of that relationship including friends, family change.When you first get married you are both out to please each other ultimately sex is the main factor.But as that relationship strengthens it is not put high on that priority list.You have family ,work ,commitments and just caring for each other often is enough or what we have time for you are either physically existed or mentally exhausted.What can be done to change the consensus well we know those that have children sex hasn't stoped we know that those with extra marital partners it hasn't stoped.Marriage doesn't stop it maybe it just slows it down somewhat.

Answer 124

it is my opinion that women are the ones who change after marriage and after 35 years of marriage i still can't explain why that is?. have seen a lot of relationship go down and with few exceptions women are the ones who feel that they made a mistake or are not being treated properly or no longer feel like they have to try as hard and that their mate should take them as they are or to bad.

of course this from a mans point of view but those are the observations that i have made over the years and the number of divorces that have happened to couples that i have known and as for the sex thing in the beginning it is all about the journey, exploring the path that is new to you both. then as time passes it is all about the destination and the short cuts that you both know and how to get there, in the beginning it takes hours and then later on it takes only minutes to travel the same road and lets face it women hold most if not all the cards and so right or wrong it is going to be mostly their responsibility to get it done or not

Answer 125

I think if people shared and talked more openly it might change. People does not know until it is discussed, or

live it. That is just like the whole sex after children going down hill. Everyone is different, and in order for it to remain, or get better with time, you need to work to keep it that way. I have been married almost 17 years, and I think that over time, sex has gotten better, though we have had to really work at it.

Couple should keep an open mind, talk, and by all means experiment. If you are not sure ask. Don't be shy. communication is our key.... I think this would solve alot of it...

Answer 126

It is a consensus of opinion because the both persons stay together, play, eat, sleep all together, there is that closeness

that can develop consensus. Consensus can also be stoped

through introducing sweet play,good looking-outfit, make use of perfume all the times, smiles, sometimes using some lovely terms, each time the husband is around trying to lie straight on the bed wit a long gown. soonest consensus wil stop. ( specially the woman)

Answer 127

People get busy with life and they stop flirting with eachother as much. We become so involved and overwhelmed with our lives that sex just seems like a chore. It shouldnt but it does sometimes. Couples should try to keep that feeling they had while they were dating alive by doing things together often and talking about what's going on in their everyday lives. They should also make it a point to spend some time apart so that when they do see each other again, those same sparks are flying. It also doesnt hurt to keep urself in good physical shape so that u remain sexually desireable to ur partner. When u get married, sex shouldnt stop...it should be just beginning!!! (and continuing). ppl just have to find a way to keep it at the height of their marriages...its not the most important thing, but it is of significant importance when u think about all the couples who divorce because they areny having enough sex or commit adultery because they arent getting enough.....u really have to acknowledge how important it is to make sure ur partner is always satisfied...not only in that area, but in everything. ppl would have longer, better marriages if they only thought of making the other happy instead of always thinking of making themselves happy. At least that way, everybody wins because if both partners are only thinking of eachother, there's no room for anybody to be left out!

Answer 128

Married sex actually has the edge over premarital sex because of the comfort level. Having great sex is a like any recipe, it's foolproof when there is love and deep bonding, and both partners take turns with turning up each others heat. To change the consensus, don't take anything or anyone for granted. Each encounter with ones spouse is numbered so make love with all your heart.

Answer 129

As long as people are individuals with different libidos affected by many outside forces in life, this will be to some degree.



You find that often, there isn't the quiet personal time within a marriage, once the demands of work and children take precedence - that you have to MAKE the time for one another if you're going to be blessed with a healthy sexual relationship. Often, one person's libido wanes witih time and the burden of life duties - and it upsets the other. So its something you have to be cognizant of and make no hard fast promises about, rather, go with the flow and create the mood and the event - instead of just forcing it because you believe you're entitled as a married person. -Because that isn't how good sex really works, for one thing...The other point is that you can't predict what kind of "curve balls" life is going to throw at you - whether you will forever and always feel the urge or not can be altered by life events (i.e., children, illness, workload, mental stress, etc.)



The real point I'm trying to make here, is that you know when you're loved by another - sex is by far, not the crowning glory to tell you that about yourself and another, rather, its the daily things you do for one another that ALSO show your love, that truly matter the most.



I'm afraid you wouldn't know this unless you've been deeply, reverently in love...and I don't know how to explain it any better.



Hope you don't hinge your life goals and expectations of another, on this one facet of loving another, or you will be, eventually, sorely dissapointed.



Sincerely,



Grace

Answer 130

I think this is not true...its not the marriage its the time between the couple. If 2 boring unloving people come together and they do the same boring thing...I don't care how good you are it will be boring and then one of them will just jump the fence and the other one follows.



I 2 moderately energetic people come together then will find ways to keep the sex drive alive...and do not think of the age and any other limitations. I think some of the readers are correct in saying " Who wants to read about the married people's romance" ....people like to read the juicy stuff and to find out how it will all end...but when you are married...its a different kind of excitement....etc



So the ones getting it, do not say much, they smile and blush...the ones that are not they will never admit they are not putting their 50% so they start to attack and say sex is dead and the more negative one partner is the more the other one will refrain....and the cycle begins.



My opinion...only

Answer 131

Play sex kitten after the baby has pooed all over me and then spit up on me? After I have worked all day, cleaned the house, done laundry and cooked dinner? Not to mention the shuttling of this kid here and that one there?

.Sex can be just another chore at times. A fun and feel good chore, but a chore none the less. If men want more married sex, take out the trash when your wife asks. Put the toilet seat down. Pick up your clothes instead of leaving them on the floor, two inches away from the hamper. Get up off you #$% and help with the baby. Give your wife five minutes of alone time.

Then, maybe sex won't completely disappear and maybe, just maybe, it'll seem like less of a chore for her.

Answer 132

Is that really the consensus? Wow. I have been married to the same man for 7 years and we continue to have sex, twice a day, sometimes 3 times if he meets me at the office. Even during that time of the month, its once a day. Sex, its the best, and I'm 43 years old. He is 48!

Answer 133

I think sex doesn't stop, it just slows down. Real life sets in and that's that. I was married for 10 years and after the first couple of years sex did die down. BUT, in that case, I was not happy.



I've been in my current relationship for over 5 years, we're not married, but live together, and we may not have sex as often as we did, but when we do - WOW!!! And sometimes we'll go two weeks without, not because we don't want to - the opportunity just doesn't come about. Between work, children and money who really can concentrate on sex all the time. Other times we have sex 3 - 4 times a week. It just all depends.

People just have to realize that sex does die down. And the people that keep asking "what's wrong" really need to go and read up on the "normal" sex patterns of married couples.

Answer 134

I think it can actually get better. Possibly less frequent, but it can be more passionate. When there are unresolved issues in the marriage, the problems may affect sexual intimacy. Sex isn't as high on the priority list, after marriage, and in my opinion, it's more of an indicator of the overall health of the couple and their relationship. It would help to reduce the emphasis on sex - some people have much higher expectations or desire, until after marriage. Then they might feel like the 'love' is fading. It really isn't. Love and sex are not the same, even though we say 'make love'. Our divorce rate and number of unwed mothers are not good signs for marriage. My wife and I have been together 25 years and sex hasn't stopped yet.

Answer 135

I think that most people say that sex stops after marriage because you aren't in the courting part of the relationship and you don't feel you have to prove your sexual abitlities anymore. Also you have more responsibilities than before, work and the routine of home life..Then if you have children there is the popular, "How can we make time without the kids walking in?" worry. So, although sex may not actually stop, it does get to where you have it fewer times in a year than you did before.. The answer to that is that couples need to make time for themselves..Send the kids to the grandparents for a weekend and stay in bed cuddling and getting acquainted again..Put off some things that aren't urgent and take your spouse out for a night on the town. Call your spouse from work and tell them how much you have been thinking of them..There are a million ways to get sex back into your marriage, get creative and get back your sex life! Good luck and God bless..

Answer 136

My personal opinion is that sex is lower on the priority list for (most) women than it is for men. A lot of women (my mum is one of those) feel guilty when they take time out to do things just for themselves - and i think sex could be considered a guilty pleasure.

So once you get married and things like kids, house work, full time job, cooking tea and all the other things (which quite often are also 'expected' of us, sex gets pushed further and further down that list.



And i have seen statistics to back this up -

The question was asked would you rather give up a night of sleep or a night of sex.

The majority of women responded that they would rather give up the sex.

This isn't every woman but i would assume that its the majority.



I think it is the consensus because once you're in any kind of stable relationship there's less to gossip about with your friends...



I have been in a relationship for 2 years now and i don't discuss my sex life with my best friends - when i was single i did it all the time in graphic detail because it didn't mean anything to me...



The people who are getting it aren't speaking about it because it's something special.



Good question...

Answer 137

minds into thinking that your appearance is the most important thing. Any thinking man or woman will realise that it is the person you have to live with. I had a motto when I was young and still apply it. "First of all, learn to love the person, and when your minds are deeply in love, this love can then be expressed though the body" not the other way around. I take every opportunity to tell young people asking questions on this site to make a list of what it is you both want out of life and then compare lists. True love (not sex) never dies and how beautiful it is when you find it.

Best wishes,

Answer 138

That is a matter of opinion, they are like A$$ holes, everyone has one, it is the thing a lot of people are saying,though. I do have to agree with Mistressofthedark, it is just a matter of attaining it...esp with the kids and work...but I will go on to say at one point I was working 2 jobs..7 to 5 during the day and from 6 to 2am at night and ,not every nite, but at least 2 to 3 times a week still had time to satisfy my man. At times he would just hold me, rub my back and my feet, because he knew I had been on them all day....Sex is also about feeling pleasure, to me anyway, or just knowing how much someone cares about you and trying to make you comfortable....It is about compromise and communication..That is what a good relationship is based on...among a few other tiny details... It isn't a one way street...there are 2 of you now!!!! It also helps to be adventurous with each other of course and bring in a little fantasy talk and some "actions" ...among the TWO of you!!!! No one else in the same room,mind you...but there isn't anything wrong with pretending or even dirty talk....Sexual aides also help with some fantasies.......use your imagination...keeps your sex life interesting anyway!!!!!

Answer 139

Consensus is a shared opinion.This one is based on experience. Physically, sex slows down. but it is possible to make love to someone without having sex.

There are as many reasons for the change as there are couples. I think a lot of couples confuse sex with love and dont take the time to get to know each other.Once they are married and get to know each other, they begin to realize there are other ways to show love and they arent always physical. I think as people get older and mature their priorities change. The thought process that goes into doing the little things like cooking a special meal,cleaning the house mean more to me than a roll in the hay.

Answer 140

This is just my opinion, but i think it has something to do with the chase being over. I mean before marriage there are flowers all the time and spontaneous sex, could happen in his bathroom, or yours, in the kitchen, on the bedroom floor. It just sort of happens because theres a lot a lust or passion associated with it. But after marriage men feel like they have conquered us. And with all these half dressed sex kittens running around who really don't care if a guy is married. All they see is a guy drooling over them, and whala--- instant lust, instant passion, instant affair! So i think as a married woman you have to keep yourself up, by exercising, and eating as right as you can. And you have to buy sexy little outfits for the bedroom, as well as the boardroom. I mean you should look so hot at least once a week going to work that he chokes on his coffee at the sight of you. And we have be creative and add some toys to our bedroom activities, what ever it takes to make him remember why he married us in the first place, and sex was one of if not the most important reason. So lets get sexy girls, install one of those stripper polls in your bedroom if you have to but take the stripper dance class first. And the belly dancing class is great try it you will find it fun and he will love it and enjoy all your new moves!

Answer 141

Not if you married for the right reason. If the relationship is held in a special place and everyone including the kids understand that it is a relationship where they are out of bounds, it does not have to.



Pressures are sometimes unsurmountable. However, if both parties want it to work and regularly re-visit their relationship and work towards having special moments it does not have to stop.



Lets not forget that it is not only the physical attraction that keeps sex in a long term relationship. It is the relationship that does. The emotional intimacy.



On saying all this, I have to admit that I am 47, very attractive, look 15 years younger than I am and am single because I have never (yet) met the person that I wanted to marry for the right reasons.

Answer 142

That statement isn't true for every marriage.

Sometimes married Life consists of active Daley routines.

And if Children are involved, the time that once was spent being together, MUST now be shared with them. At the end of the day: After work, School,Dinner, it is time for Bed for an early Rise and Begin again the next Day.

Most People Tire quickly of the monotony that has become their Life. They realize the Days have become shorter and with Age less energy for doing the activities they once enjoyed. SEX, becomes less important then Sleep.

Answer 143

I tell my hubbie all of the time that the only reason that he doesn't get as much sex as he used to is because that now he knows that I am not going anywhere he is no longer as romantic as he used to be. For me that's what it is all about, the romance, the love, not the sex. For the guy (well atleast mine) it's the sex, the love, the football game, the race and then the romance. Don't get me wrong he does get to have sex on a weekly basis but I am not always happy about it and he knows. There are times when he will relize that he is slacking in his department and fire up the romantic fumes that exsist in his body but it doesn't happen very often. The slow down of sex is not all on the women like the tale says just like a marriage it does take two to make something happen.....

Answer 144

Sex may become more of a performance and a job after marriage, especially after the children come along. The mystery is removed and the drudgery of house work and maintenance leaks over into the intimate areas of relationships. Men and women tend to stop thinking of their wives and husbands as exciting but see each other more as parents and bosses and coworkers.



Changing the landscape of marriage could begin in the child if the parents made a concerted effort to set examples. Not ever speak disparagingly of each other in front ( or anywhere) of the children. Play more in front of the children, introduce more laughter and fun into the home. Children will always remember their parents as being in love. Practise makes it so. Children either aspire to be like their parents or not depending on how happy the family is as a whole.

No one aspires to unhappiness and misery so refuse to allow it entry into the home.



I do not think it will happen because human beings are not a quick learn. we are an obstinate and slow creature more like the Sloth than the Chimpanzee or the Orangutan. Most of us live our entire lives with our minds over our eyes. We just can not see for thinking.

Answer 145

Its not the forbidden anymore. The excitement leaves unless as a couple you try to keep it Also children come into the picture. I know my marriage was a lot more sexual without having to listen for the kids sex has to be planned it can not be spontaneous anymore that is until the kids move out I can't wait. But as far as the sex stopping It must come from couples that just don't want to put the effort into their happiness. Or maybe people say this so the kids won't find out they are having sex. My mother told my grandmother once that she new she had sex at least three times because she had three children.

Answer 146

well it may have something to do with the 'consensus' that it is common to have sex before marriage so there is nothing left to explore together after marriage. If people would wait until after marriage for sex it is much more interesting for longer . This was my grandparents reason for over 60 years of complete fidelity and interest in only each other. Also selfishness must stop. Each should think of the other 100%.

Answer 147

Well, sex never stopped for me and my husband. We met when I was 17 and he was 15, now 39 and 37. It has slowed down some because of time constraints, tiredness and the like. When you are younger, responsibilities are few, energy and free time are high. The only drawback is finding a private place to have sex. Ahhhh, the adventures we had making love and almost getting caught by hunters, strangers, his sister, his parents, our friends, the police....but I digress. I believe the consensus is perpetuated by those who are not married, because healthy, happy married couples know better and the married couples that are still having sex and and are still perpetuating the myth just jump on the "let's all rag on our spouse's because one or two of us is in a bad mood" bandwagon.

Answer 148

Just look at the statistics. People are rushing marriages. Divorce rates are higher then ever.



What I'm saying is this: if you are both truly in love with each other, sex will never stop. If both work hard to maintain a healthy relationship (in bed and out of bed) then sex will never fade away.



Things that can be done for the couples that are having problems: spice things up a bit. Try new things (I wont go into detail here).



But yet, thats my two centz.

Answer 149

Hmmm I think its that people presume that when you get married, you have children, and a lot of the time, having children puts the marriage on the back burner sex wise for a while.



I have seen studies with statistics that show the sex life being the best BEFORE children, then AFTER the children move out of home



I guess some people presume that sex with one person is tedious and the sex gets boring or something I personally afer 7 years havent really noticed a difference, even with 5 kids though our sex life isnt the most important part of our marriage.

Answer 150

It's most likely true for most couples as it's a force of nature - we all take the path of least rsistance. As true in physics clas as it is in human biology. As soon a guy is lucky enough to get all he wants on a plate (I'm talking food here) he will stop cooking and so it goes for women and sex. You've also got to take into account that although women obviously do enjoy sex for them it's not quite the same driver as it is for a man - for a woman it's enjoyment and breeding when it's desired - for a man it's a primevil need to spread his genes and often and as far and wide as he can. It therefore follows that statistically, women are more likely but not necessarily going to give up sex as soon as they have won over the man they were innocently / subcosiously using it to get hold of. You might also relate this issue to that of why people in serious but unmarried relationships tend to outlast those who marry - there is more need to make an effort when it could so easily all end in a moment. The minute you tie two people together you take away a small reason to make that extra effort. Despte this last line or two I'm a great beleiver in marriage! Hope this helps.

Answer 151

Most people feel that when you get married it is a done deal. They fall into a comfort zone and feel they do not have to continue to do the things that got them married in the first place. Marriage is forever a work in progress. People should know that the dating never stops. Trying new things. A gift or flowers for now reason. Talking constantly to make sure you are on the same page. These things help, but there is never a guarantee.

Answer 152

I have read all the answers and came to the conclusion that if we suddenly destroyed all those plastic things and got back to ral sex and foreplay, then sex for many years would be no problem. Being married for over 35 years, I can say the single biggest mistake I made was to buy my wif a vibrator as a gift. Hell, I can't possiblly keep up that pace., and I have found that there is no woman that can beqat old 5 fingers mary. She doesn't put conditions on the sex and when I am done, I simply wash her off and I am done till the next tiime I need relief. She doesn't complain that her back hurts and she is tired etc...she just opens up for the old man. I can unload all over hr and she says nothing.

Answer 153

I think that we have given ourselves the wrong impression of sex. Too many are equating pornography with sex, and this just isn't right! Sex should be based on love... pornography only deals in degradation and humiliation of the concept of sex.



My wife and I of 12 years find that sex is getting better, not worse! Recently, I've spent some time trying to understand why that is... it's not like we're re-inventing positions or fantasies, or anything like that. So why would sex keep getting better and better for us???



I believe the reason is that our love for each other continues to grow. What that means is that our desire in intimacy is more largely directed at the *other person*. In other words, our satisfaction is based more on the other's satisfaction. I find that the more my wife enjoys the activity, the more I am turned on to have an even greater experience myself.



So, we need to change the perception that sex is a selfishly motivated activity based on hormonal urges and pornographic stereotypes. Instead, it should be based on love and selflessness for the partner's happiness and enjoyment.

Answer 154

Since almost 500 people have already answered this - I doubt you'll ever get around to seeing this answer- but here goes!! It isn't the consensus that SEX stops- per say- but Communication seems to come to a point that neither partner seems to relay what it is they want from one another! So if you are Horney- Let Them Know!!! Sad thing is Women have been brought up for centuries being told " Do Not Speak of Sex- Period!" Also generations ago- A woman was "expected" to provide sex to her husband in exchange for Him taking "care" of her- i.e...working a job that paid for heat, water, etc... While SHE was ALLOWED to stay home to Be There when HE wanted SEX!!! And of course to do the Dishes, Cook, Laundry, Clean the House, Feed the Kids, Dress The Kids, Get Kids to School Etc...Not including doing almost all of the above FOR HIM too!! Minus dressing them! To Change this Women Need to Assert themselves- Like I said If your Horney then TELL THEM!! If they don't help you out- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! What do you think they make "sex Toys" for??? Not Just for couples!!! A good porn movie and a french tickler can do ALOT for A woman!! That is when your Man can't!

Answer 155

i dont think thats true at all, i think people just get comfortable and lazy.

I was in a nine year relationship and lack of sex was never a concern...

I have since left that relationship and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and sex is better than ever i have opened up even furthur and i happily will never be the same......i think all people are different,... i happen to be a very sexual person and express many of my feelings through sex i am adventurous and very open (not meaning multiable partners, just things like farts talking while going to the bathroom, "embarrassing" things dont bother him or me either way)

I think depending on experience and maturity the roller coaster ride of sex is never ending and there are no oppurtunities for boredom...

not with me and my man anyways....



And we do have a house,demanding jobs and SIX kids and a puppy total so we have many if not more reasons "not" to have great sex than most who dont have regular great sex...





so i guess i cant answer that question because i have never become so lazy that i wouldnt always be trying to keep things amazing wild and new!

Answer 156

Well, we obviously don't meet the "consensus". I think you have to work at your marriage to keep the sex alive. We have been married almost 35 years and still have sex. We may have slowed down as to the frequency but we aren't spring chickens anymore.



In today's society, everyone is busy so you have to make the time for yourselves as a couple. You have to keep your sex life exciting. It requires work...but so does a good marriage. So many are just not willing to invest the time and energy that it takes. Between being a "me" society and an "instant gratification" society, it is just easier to complain about how things used to be in the relationship than to try to maintain what you once had. It is truly a sad commentary on sex in a marriage.

Answer 157

I don't know why they think sex stops when you get married. To me it gets better. We've been married for 6 years and have 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 1 and this does not stop our sex drive at all. I mean we do have overwhelming days with the kids but that has nothing to do with us wanting each other. When your married it's better no more needing to use protection and now you can try all of the things that you may not have with someone who just wasn't special enough. There is nothing I won't do to please my husband and even when I'm tired and not in the mood I still give him some lovin because you should never deny your significant other. We even role play sometimes it's fun. Anyways my point is the sex doesn't stop I think it just keeps getting better.

Answer 158

Te main reason I see is that it is just popular among blokes at work and the pub etc to make jokes about married people not getting any,but, I can tell you that it just isnt true. I have been married for 19 years and my sex life is as exciting now as it was back at the beginning, my wife and I are still averaging at least once a night. I am not bragging here because it would do me no good, no one on here knows who I am, it is just fact. I dont think that the fallacy will ever be changed, until the largely pathetic male of this species learns how to deal with the herd mentality and think for themselves and stop saying things they know are not true just to fit in with the crowd. If you can figure out how to do that, my friend you will be the wisest person on the planet!Good luck!!!

Answer 159

Oh my goodness! Jackie first off you're one of my fave authors-thank you for so many great novels!!



I think the idea of sex becoming non-existent in marriage is an idea that came mainly from the risk of sex becoming "samey;" and then finally becoming a bore as its always the same!



Thnakfully though, with more and more women finally summing up the courage to tell their hubbies what they want in the sack, without making him feel less than satisfactory, sex needn't be seen as a chore after so many years of being married.



Of course, the help of stores such as Ann Summers giving sex a sense of fun and also as a natural, important part of life mean that sex is much less of a taboo in this day in age and women are becoming more empowered in the bedroom, and is seen more as a sense of fun rather than a duty that the wife has to adhere to!

Answer 160

I am a very sexual person and I have been married 4 times . I think I can honestly answer this question. When relationships become complicated with the everyday problems of life the first thing we do is put the one person we love and trust on a shelf. We don't have time to be a sexual being anymore. Sex is something that starts the moment you open your eyes. Every moment of your relationship is a prelude to sex! It doesn't take any extra time or effort to be sexual. You should take advantage of every moment to make your partner feel loved,beautiful,respected,admired, and as important as your best friend. Nobody puts their best friend on a shelf!!!!!!!!!! Sex is the one thing in life that were guaranteed to get back what we put in it. If we put 24/7 into caring about our love and sexuality I guarantee we'll get it back. ( Your putting the time in anyway,Why not make it a good time?) Bottom line is I think the problem is the shelf. Bobby's girl333

Answer 161

Sex doesn't stop, it changes. What was once hot lust tames to chance encounters when kids are gone and the house it quiet. Sex does slow down, but the power of a longing look can still put the butterflies in your stomach. If you still want it to. Intimacy doesn't have to be just sexual intercourse, yes it helps, it is a deep look, a quick note on the bathroom mirror in red lipstick saying a simple I love you. Sex becomes one of the first things to be put on the back burner when the family grows and stresses come into play, but the intimacy shouldn't every be. If you still have that, then the quickies that you use to have before kids will become quickies while the kids are asleep or at a friends house. It changes, but doesn't have to end. If you truely don't want it to.

Answer 162

I don't think that sex needs to stop after marriage. I just think it gets boring when you do it with the same person all the time. I've been married for 20 years. What also makes a difference is when one or the other or both partners let themselves go. When they gain weight and don't take care of themselves, it is a huge turn off. Take care of yourself, and do a little something to perk up the sex life, check into a hotel and spend a night spontaneously in your own downtown, go to your old "parking" spot and do it. shave your legs, and perhaps lose those extra 10 pounds or whatever it is. I believe that would make a huge difference. good luck to you all...

Answer 163

I believe that the idea is, once your married the prize is considered won,so you don't have to fight to win anymore.

Or another way to look at it is simply this. You realize after the honeymoon,you are going to be with this one person over and over for "the rest of your life" and the thoughts set in that mabey you should have waited because now the fear of getting bored is ever present and subconciously you start to build a resentment towards your spouse and the whole "great sex with just this person,forever" theory is shadowed and fading away into an unreal lifestyle that you have created for yourself. The best way in my opion to cast out the consensus that sex stops after marriage is to drill it into your childrens minds that you don't have to be married to be happy. Make a career first,hang out with your friends as much as possible and never by any means, get married to young.The younger you get married the more problems you struggle with. When your have your own act together it makes it easier to find "real love" and then the great sex with just one person for the rest of your life wont be such an unbearable thought.

Answer 164

Sex does not stop - it may become less frequent - but better.

I really do not believe this is the concensus.

Who decided that? It seems the people who speak out the most about any subject are the ones who are discontent.

Sex may also increase and push one partner to the point of wanting out.

What con be done to change the concensus? Talk to some happily married couples who are content in their lives and don't go around talking about their sex lives.

You could be surprised.

Answer 165

This does not apply to all marriages. It's only the frequency that is affected over time. If there is no sex in a marriage then whats it all about? Sex should not be the only/ number one priority in a marriage of course but it creates a bond between two people and that can't be ignored. Two people almost become one during the sexual act. In which other way could two people open up to each other more than during the sexual act? I'm not talking about sex that is bought from prostitutes or rape and that kind of thing.

Answer 166

There is no one reason. After the infatuation stage of a relationship, people move into a less emotionally-charged but more sustainable state. People put more attention into other aspects of their lives, jobs, housekeeping, raising children, etc. Sex is no longer the central focus of the relationship.



Furthermore, the 2 people have different needs and expectations. For one, once-a-week sex might seem like a lot; for the other it might seem like next-to-nothing. Unless the couple has good communication skills and a willingness to compromise, one of the partners will feel deprived and neglected, and might think "sex stops after marriage".



In most cases, sex doesn't stop in a healthy relationship--if it does, the couple should see a doctor to assure they are both physically healthy; see a marriage counselor to assess the health of their relationship.

Answer 167

Andy's list of sarchastic suggestions:

Don't get married.

Swing!

Cheat: Sleep with the neighbour once in a while...

Have a threesome :-)



Now, seriously, I would imagine that when you get married, first of all, you are slightly older, which means your sex drive has already started to wheen. Second, I would assume nobody is a virgin, which means that no matter what you do, it will be somewhat redundant/repetitive. If you don't already live together, try to choose a location where there are relatively thick walls (more flexible).



Second, find activities you enjoy doing together. Third, experiment, go to sex shops, make videos/take pictures, and all that kinky ****! Try different positions and LOCATIONS! Start light: i.e. on the floor. Then, when you are feeling more ambitious, go down on your man in a car while he is night driving in a relatively low-key area...



I had sex with my girlfriend on the beach, in public showers at a swimming pool, in an outdoor pool, at the beach. I even got her off in a room with a bunch of friends underneath a blanket... Don't be borrring! Try anal sex, bdsm, role-playing, but props, dildos, beads, eggs, vibrators, lotions! There is one that is particularly good. you rub it on and breath on it, and it feels amazing... Just be interesting and spontaneous (yes, it requires effort and thought, as do many other components of a relationship). Make some noise. One of the biggest turn ons is when a girl begs for more during sex. I know it sounds cliche but it works! Try grabbing his balls one day while you're out for a stroll. Spank him when he leaves the toilet seat up...



I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years (longer than the average marriage lasts).

Answer 168

When your just lovers then you have sex because you want to have sex with each other. When your married its because you have too and were a generation who are rebellious. We don't like doing the things we have too. Its too boring and takes away the flavor mystery. We do what we want, when we want, and go wherever we want. When your married, its like your stuck. If you look up marriage in the dictionary and its says a bond between a couple bound for life partnership. It says nothing about love. People get married because they (Parents, schools, church, etc) say its the thing to do. If MTV, E!Entertainment, Peoples Magazine, or any media hype didn't glorify it so much; then we wouldn't get so many divorces in this world today. Thats my opinion though, for you Jackie; make thing mysterious or challenging.

Answer 169

From just talking to family and friends in general. I would have to say this. If the sex is great it's only 5% of the relationship. If it not great it's 95%. This usually happens when both members have different views on sex. What one wants to do the other may not. But a relationship that is based on a good and solid friendship will be able to work through this. And different sex drives is also a big issue.

Answer 170

Sex doesn't stop as long as you wanted.Having sex is a part of marriage life.Only dead people refuse sex and if that will happen in a certain couple there is really something wrong.Even a married couple needs dating,do the same thing as of what you are doing when you were still dating.Preserve all the good days that you both cherish in order to keep the fire burning.Show him the same you from the time he met you tell the time you vow each other.Having sex is not a sin,its a gift from God. You can explore any position as you like as long as with your legal partner.But most of all continue praying the spirit of your love to keep flaming in your heart.No matter what you do if there is no GOD in your relationship it will immediately fade away.

Answer 171

Married men and women need to quit acting like sex is bad just because your only doing it with one individual! If it has become bad then it is because they have allowed it to become repetitive and boring! I've been married divorced and widowed (same guy) But now I'm engaged! The thing that bothers me is when people have I mean have to have that last night as a single person (male or female)as if they are giving up something great! The last night single is great if your celebrating the fact that you are ending one chapter and opening another or just having a fun night out with the guys or gals! What's great about being single living alone? If your happy single that's great but if you dred waking up alone or noone to talk to as you fall asleep it is not so great!! I think when people get married they become repetitive and forget that this is the one and I am blessed to have him or her (of course if you have communication and compromise no beating or cheating)!!! Just because your married doesn't mean your dead or your any less attractive it means damn i want this man and only him to please me the rest of my life which i don't know about you but that turns me on!! Basically to me the way to change the consensus is to change people's perception of marriage! I believe the reason our country has such a high divorce rate and fewer people getting married is because men and women both sometimes feel like they missed out on something as if something else is far better yeah sometimes it is but a purely sexual relationship is not always best. Now a relationship that has what I want (SEX) and what I need (SECURITY, COMMUNICATION, & COMPROMISE) is GREAT!

Answer 172

i have been married 6 1/2 years and it hasnt changed much from when we were dating, except that with 3 kids u cant always do it when u want to, or where u want because u get no privacy when kids are up, but i think that sex becomes less important to most ppl after marriage because they figure they already got a partner, why do i have to now? or because they fight more after marriage, or kids and work tire/stress them out, whatever it may be. But i am a firm believer that it gets better as the years move ahead, not worse, and for me, frequency hasn't changed all that much overall, just short periods of time like with a newborn, or other special situations.

Answer 173

It is very easy to let our busy lives take over everything and sex becomes just another chore you have to try to fit into the day. The way to stop this happening is to force yourselves to make time for each other, put time aside to spend un-pressurised time together, whether that's out for a meal, watching a film or in bed. Also talk to each other and if either of you feels too tired for sex then maybe the other could do something nice like a non sexual massage, this keeps the contact going and can lead to more spontaneous sex which is always more enjoyable.

Answer 174

I think it has alot to with the fact that before you get married, you are two free lovebirds. Alot of people wait until after marriage to get the nice house, and to have kids, so before all the major responsibilities it's just to people are are really care free. After the marriage comes the house, and the bills to go with it, and either person is going to want to work harder, staying at work later, to have more money. Than comes the kid these two have been dreaming about, now the kid and the house are in the picture, you will have sleepless nights in the beginning, and you won't be in the mood for sex. Usually the husband will be the one working late, and when he comes home he's tired. They are alot of reasons, why sex stops. but I believe that if you really love your spouse, and are in love with each other, there is always a time and a place to make love to each other.

Answer 175

There's no such thing as frigid women...only clumsy men (I can get away with saying it 'cause I'm a man).



I got divorced because my ex- chose the children, her job, her church, and her family over me. When there was time for me, she slept.



Despite that failure, I am a firm believer that if spouses put each other first, everything else will be taken care of (including in the bedroom). My current girlfriend and I dote on each other, and put each other first. We've been doing it for 7 years (she doesn't wanna get married, but that's another topic).



When life comes at either of us too hard/fast, the other is there...we....WE deal with it together. It's working so far.



Sex is not a taboo topic and we do discuss frequency and technique (although my male ego has been bruised on a few occasions, it ain't killed me). We have agreed that if the other is in the mood, we make it clear of that, but try to please the other (she has worn me out....I loved it) any way.



Finally, I don't talk about it outside our bedroom (well...maybe this once). It's nobody's business if I'm getting it on with my girlfriend or not...and I'm gonna keep it that way.

Answer 176

I don't think that sex stops. Couple of factors. The novelty can wear off. It takes some work to keep it lively and spontaneous. LIfe is variable. even in the best relationships there are ups and downs. Unfortunately, down tends to stay there too long. Age is unfortunately a factor. We are not 28 anymore, or close to it. The mental "sex" can be just as important as the physical as our bodies just don't last all night anymore. Dating was exciting, the same face and place each day can be a little monotonous. If you are in a relationship, this goes with the territory. The trick is to fing how to keep it fun and new.....

Answer 177

Jackie, I'm a 55 yr old mother of two boys. When I was married (for twenty years), my husband came first. I've always believed in being a lady in public and a s**t in bed ;)

The only reason *we* stopped having sex was that he had health problems. That, I could've lived with, but he couldn't, go figure.....

BTW, both my boys turned out fine despite me putting my spouse at the head of my to-do list. *chuckle* Now, my oldest is in a very satisfying marriage of his own, and I'm proud.

We're never too old to be sexy , in my mind, and marriage shouldn't be only about bills, children and mundane, tiring things. People need to learn how to LIVE! *great big smile*

Your books fascinated me for years and maybe I should give you some credit for my attitude being what it is. So Thanks girlfriend! *G



Oh, that danged consensus. What business is it What you do or how you do it, or who you're doing it with? More people should EXPRESS their happiness instead of dwelling on high school complaints,and grow up!

Society has made it as taboo as smoking and we need to open up and follow some of our basic natures.

Sex is a wonderful thing, and it's a Need,not a Want. My nickle's worth....



kate~

Answer 178

Theories...by me.



1.



If a woman appears too controlling for the wedding itself, that affects the way a guy sees the woman and how he treat her...

that's probably why it happens..



you should at least pretend/emphasize that the wedding is only important if the guy you love is there, then things should be good..



2.



He's just not happy, because the marriage was not going as expected, or he's just not having his say as much as he did..



3.



He didn't want to get married in the first place without at least living his own life..



4.



The most common reason..

she's a cold fish.

Answer 179

I beleive that the consensus will change when we begin to first recoginze the importance of marriage and begin to illusarate marriage in a more romantic and seductive way. Marraige is always depicted on television, movies, books and television depicted marraige as boring, and a dead in and the best thing that can happen to it is a affair! I have been married for ten years and my husband and I have some of the best sex and the most romantic evenings because we keep it fresh, romantic and fun and unlike 99.9% of the world sex didin' begin for us until we got married!!! TRhat could be another reason that we are very active and very satisfied!!!

Answer 180

No sex before marriage. If you don't have sex before you get married, you will appreciate the beauty of making-love and precious moments of ecstasy will not be taken for granted.



Consensus will have you believe that there is no love without sex.

Chris Rock started in a movie this year," I think I love my wife". It is a man flick. You know why, even though most married men would not admit it, they can relate to what Chris rock was trying to display. That, no matter what him and wife differences are, the love he has for his wife and children was well worth the trouble. He had an COMMITTMENT to his marriage and his family, not to the sex.

You see when you get married, sex does not stop, it gets delayed, maybe even scheduled. Sex is no longer a priority, it is replaced by responsibility.

True love, like the love that Chris Rock shared for his on screen wife was pure and sincere. He didn't need sex to define his relationship with his wife.

In the real world, sex defines our relationships. Sex means committment. It becomes an necessity. It's no longer about the love, it's about the sex. We come to depend on it and when it loses it spontaneity, spark or frequentness, we seek companionship else where, to define us. There is no committment.

We become selfish in our ways of thinking. Forget about what else our relationship has to offer, it all about the sex.

Woman mostly, tend to jump right into the conformaty of marriage. We take on many roles. These roles are not assigned to us. They are roles of responsibilities that WE volunteered for and within the shuffle, the needs of the husband got put on the back burner. We will get to you eventually, but eventually, seems like an eternity. We know that this is wrong but it is not done to be malicious and there is remorse. It is assumed that you will understand.

On very rare occasions, we make attempts, at times reluctantly, to lie still and lifeless for the fulfillment of the husband. Although, it not done purposely, it is still another selfish act.

Sex becomes a tool, a weapon used as a form of control. Therefore, the initimacy is replaced and controlled by selfishness.

Sex in a marriage is the sharing of intimacy. A couple needs to be intimate, or you will lose your closeness, your bond, your oneness.

How do you stop this? Good question. I can say, be considerate of each other feelings, as well as space and time. I can say, be organized. Make family time, but make sure that you pencil in some one on one with each other. Put dates aside to take care of each others needs. Make the special moments memorable. I can say, insure one another that the sparks are still in existence and that you are still feeling the love. Don't make all the initimate times always about sex. Do lunch, dinner, movies, talk, etc.. I can say, many things and offer many ideas to make things work, but the bottom line is, it's up to you and not consensus. Everyone does not stop sex after marriage. So up yours consensus!

Answer 181

I think basically people have short memories for some things, and specially when they are not having their needs met in the sex area. Most couples are very sexually active when they are first married up to when they have children. Then its quite normal for the frequency of sex to decline because of factors such as tiredness on the new mum's part, anxiety over care of the baby or toddler a new mum's hormones may also be upset. As soon as some men start missing regular sex they are only too eager to tell their mates that they are deprived. I don't think you would hear a man say to his mates "I realise my wife is tired after a day with three little kids/work/housework etc, but as long as I make an effort to take the load off her once a week or so she is more relaxed and happy to share some nice loving sex with me". No! he would keep quiet about that and if his mate asked "you getting any mate?" he would just reply "nah mate" and there the myth perpetuates. Now on the other hand, I realise most men are very focussed on sex and the more the better, and I really believe a lot of women miss this point of male biology and do not realise how very important sex is to most men. When he is missing out, he can become very bitter and sad and is only too happy to pass his dissapointment on to anyone who will listen. So ladies I really think it is SO very important to make enjoyable loving sex a very special part of your relationship right through your marriage. Don't make it a five minute job before sleep takes over, make time for good sex, take oportunities for sex and most important of all, don't be shy let your sexual self out because you can enjoy it as much as your man does. A message I once saw written with a finger in dirt on the back of a very dirty station wagon says it all: "I wish my wife was this dirty".

Answer 182

I think it is because before a person gets married they have sex with different people and after they get married they have sex with the same person and after a while they get in a rut and the sex stops. I think there should be some kind of class or seminar that married people can attend to figure out why the sex stops and if they still find each other desireable how to get back to being animals with each other again.

Answer 183

My husband died, but we didn't stop having sex until he could not anymore due to his cancer.

But in real relationships, marriage is real and so many fall in love with the glamour and the fun parts and do not realize the not so fun parts. Sometimes sex is great, sometimes sex is just that Sex. BUT during that phase, married couples must remember they love each other and that it is always making love and not just "banging".

SO many seductresses and seducers out there that will tell the spouses that they can turn you inside out with their this or that in the bedroom, that people have fallen into that "fad" in society. What they do not realize is that is it true, folk can turn you inside out, literally. Once that is done the sex partner is gone to the next one and here that spouse comes, realizing that sex is not the answer, love is. Love is paying bills togehter and having to eat hotdogs TOGETHER, but we are happy. Love is fixing that leaky faucet and laughing about it later. Love is kissing that lovely spouse on the lips as you clean the house and know that later, there is a room that you will mess up together ...later...smile. LOVE is the car breaking down, you getting mad and kicking the tire and the spouse comes to comfort you. LOVE is a many splendid things.

Answer 184

daily life removes the spontaneity and passion from a relationship.

What can be done to change this...simple...always remember that sex is one part of the marriage that can always be exciting, spontaneous, joyful, passionate... Incorporate it into the the monotony (ie do the laundry and do it while doing the laundry..). And of course to change this consensus people have to stop complaining that they aren't getting enough and actually do something productive to make it happen. Stop the whinging - action is key.

Answer 185

I would like to correct the question. Why less sex with the other half after getting marriage?

Every day eating the same dish, will you enjoy it? Every day playing the same game? Every day to the same market? Every day to the same work place? The answer is there, due to human nature, you will try to avoid if you can.

Situation makes the consensus, this situation can not be changed unless humans nature changed. Sound boring? Life still move on.

Answer 186

If, when or ever I get married and the sex stops...the marriage is pretty much to me a done deal. I have a buddy who says he stops the sex thing after a short length of time with a woman...(which is preposterous to me!)...and argues that no man should wanna keep having sex with the same woman. I just couldn't imagine the woman I'm gonna share the rest of my life with turning me down for some nookie nookie.... those are the kind've things that I'm to believe divorce is made of. My buddy, as I've told him...has got some real issues right now and I'm sure his attitude will change if he meets the one.

Answer 187

My belief is that in most relationships, married or not, interest level declines over time. There are many reasons for this. During the courting process, people work hard to be as attractive as possible. Many people don't work as hard once they know they "have" someone (either married, live-in relationship or other committed relationship).



I think many people don't approach long-term relationships with the appropriate seriousness. They don't realize that maintaining a good relationship doesn't come naturally. One must work hard at it. Also, many couples can benefit from counseling but there remains a stigma in our society (and the cost is high as well). If more couples got counseling there would be a lot more people happily staying together and remaining attractive to each other.

Answer 188

Its the consensus because once married, the New Relationship Energy has dwindled, the hormones and pheromones have cooled, and more mundane things have taken over. Its up to each partner to not take each other for granted and to continue to show how much they are attracted to each other and make time for lovemaking. Any generalizations that sex stops after marriage are just that--generalizations. It doesn't have to, but both people need to communicate and work at it!

Answer 189

first of all, there is no consensus of opinion these days that when you get married that sex stops. This younger generation has kept sex active.If you are talking about people in their 40's well sure menopause and men's menopause happens. And,lots of people have disabilities within the family that puts their thoughts about sex on the back burner. These days people have so much stress that they take pills to sleep, pills to wake up or stay awake, pills for depression, pills for medical reasons, and pills for enhancement. Perhaps if people would de-stress and get back to what used to be the norm, maybe less technology and less medication would be the ticket.

Answer 190

Before you marry you are trying to impress the partner and once marriage takes place, the priorities change and other more important matters take preference. The human being is not a sex machine, people mature contrary to public opinion and find they have have found other interests more rewarding than sex. You canot change the consensus. People make the decision according to their thoughts and feelings and decide to live by it.

Answer 191

I recently got married (actually I'm a late bloomer and am delayed in my decision to marry due to stories like this from married friends and sisters....). However, to keep the sizzle going, there really needs to be a commitment and continued efforts to stay focused on your partner's needs. I'd keep it interesting by sharing a common passion for leisurely activities and balance it w/ individual pursuits, not necessarily directly involving contact w/ the opposite sex. Oh, and a lot of prayer. I'm not practicing Christian and in fact, my hubby's Jewish, but once a relationship has been given up to divine assistance, there is that extra spiritual assurance that through hard times and good, the love is there and great sex --meaningful/deep and spontaneous/meaningless/nonetheless fun should be a byproduct of such a relationship 'blessed' by God.



It is a day-to-day challenge for me: I have a long-distance relationship w/ my hubby right now. The internet is scary, as it provides instant access to exes. There is the common scenario of friends-w-benefits in the single scene that I used to belong to and it's so easy to hook up w/ past loves + the unending supply of better looking prospects, what w/ plastic surgery and all...a divine intervention is a MUST these days.



A buffer, too, is knowing yourself. Having the confidence to pursue your own individuality and striving for excellence in that niche. I think the pursuit of excellence in any chosen field, being consumed by some activity outside of family that is wholesome and worthwhile is very sexy and attractive that no partner will let go of you. In the same token, it's great to encourage your partner to find him or herself, what inspires the other person to do worthwhile projects. There's no other way but to gravitate towards each other!

Answer 192

When you become married to each other the yearning feelings of having sex with each other does not and will never disappear. It may seem that way if you are still living your life in the fantasied world of lust &perversions like a lot of people did when they were younger. Now the two of you have responsibilities that you have to deal with every day. (children,jobs,etc.)And hopehully you guys have grown up and realized that you two are not having the petty & lustful sex that you had had when you guys were younger, you guys are now making passionate love too each other. The two of you are living with one another and you guys are together at home. So there is really no need to have sex constantly like you guys did when you were younger and when you were not committed to eachother. You guys should now beable to sit and have conversations, watch T.V together and have a deep & loving friendship as well. There is so much more to marriage and having a relationship then just sex.

Good Luck

Answer 193

i would say it's not when you get married it's more like it slows down a bit when you have kids. There are plenty of ways to make sex life still entertaining though. For example on a whim go to a sex shop with your other half and buy something. Don't chicken out. If your not that type and are more of a romantic make sure to set the seen for a beautiful night with roses and all. Talk sexy even sometimes dirty and get to know more interesting positions. You'll both love it in the end.

Answer 194

I don't think sex stops, I think it become one of the least important things adults deal with on a daily basis. Considering all the other things in our lives that take up so much of our time. I think it should be one of the most important for a husband and wife. We as adults, don't make it part of our daily lives and that is the sad thing about sex. Some women and men view this a just another chore they have to perform, when it should be, because two people want and need intimacy and closeness, sharing, passion. A feeling of being loved by another person, who care for them and doesn't judge them. Those are the things we should be focusing on.

Answer 195

People only see and hear what they want. Every relatinship is different. With 4 kids it was challenging to make and take the time. It was better and more often than before I was married. It depends on the couple and their outlook. I personally do not think the consensus will ever change.

Answer 196

Well, it stopped for me. But not him and his girlfriend. Whada loser.



Really....when you're dating you will do anything that the other person asks you to do. Go here, there, do this, do that.....well when they think that this is the best person for them to settle down with (cuz while they were single the sex was everywhere, anywhere, anytime...fantastic!) they think that all of the same will apply after marriage. Usually tapers off year by year ....not getting it in the driveway anymore.....elevators (Pahleez)...mile high club is how far away you'd like to see them...I think that most women bare the brunt of the responsibilities in a marriage (work, laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking up after him, dealing with the kids if there are any, shopping, when women see that all the man is going to do is work, sit, eat, watch tv, mow the lawn, and poop. We get tired....men don't...men in turn see this as not wanting to be sexual. If husbands would help out more....and I mean a lot more (not that there are some that don't...I just don't know them!) show us that you aren't just interested in the sexual aspect of the relationship, then maybe their wives would be strippers for them in the privacy of their bedroom. It's a give and take....and I got tired of giving and giving, working 40 hours a week like him, and then getting nothing in return. Thanks you's are appreciated...compliments always....but a vacation/break would be appreciated from the mundane life that wives get locked in to. Send me to Aruba....you don't HAVE to come. Stay home and clean. See how he likes it!

Answer 197

I think that this consensus is brought on by the media : videos, commercials and used to sell everything these days. The intimacy that develops in a long term relationship and marriage is viewed as sweet but not sexy. I know that art imitates life and not vice versa but it seems that songs, television programs, advertisements and magazines glorify the " hot sizzling passion" of flirting getting the conquest and moving on. Happily I think that the couples that are blessed to enjoy the passion of deepening intimacy with their partner keep it between them. Therefore this myth that sex stops or is less fiery after marriage is created.

Answer 198

I've heard that as well...Sex is such an important part of any relationship and when two people get married, they have more to deal with on a daily basis, housework, jobs, finances, extended family situations...the excuses for not having sex are numerous. I believe that when a married couple begin living together, little quirks that they didn't know their spouse had before they married begin to play on the mind of the other spouse. I look at those quirks as unique things about my husband that only I have the privilege of knowing. We don't "make" the time for sex, it is just simply our way of continuing to show each other that we love each other and desire each other. I feel for those people that have lost that spark. I think that reminiscing about the past helps to renew that spark..the remember when's can be quite exhilarating.

Answer 199

It is just that so many people have sex before marriage to impress their partner and after the marriage you do not "have" to impress this person because you have won the prize so the sex seems to lose importance. This should not happen though, a real love will make the sex improve and develop to new heights because both people involved will recognize that the sex was good enough to want to have it with the same person for the rest of their life so they will keep making it better yet, it is wonderful.

Answer 200

In my opinion sex never stops. I have been married for 10 years. We have been the same since we met. With 4 kids and work we still find the time to be intimate. This opinion that sex stops is wrong. It is a very important part of a relationship. As we have reached our thirties it has only been better as we get more honest with one another. Let the world know it can get better after marriage!!

Answer 201

It didn't stop at my house! Thank God.....



Yes, marriage is about responsibilites and comforts, kids, housework, paychecks and bills and all those romance killers, I agree.



I've heard many men complain that their wives are uninterested in sex after marriage, and I've known just as many women who also don't get the attention that they need. Bottom line is.....you have to work at it. Men....why not take the initiative and arrange for a sitter for the kiddos...call her up and tell her that the arrangements have been made already and that all she has to do is look pretty and enjoy herself.....



Pick up after yourselves. Women are tired. We do everything from cleaning house, making dinner, running errands, and being SuperMom, all of this while simultaneously holding down a full time job OUTSIDE of the home. Helping with the chores is a HUGE turn on.



Ladies....get those kids to bed on time! Carve out some just the two of you time in the late evenings. It's amazing what a cuddle on the sofa and a glass of wine will do for your relationship...and don't forget to take care of yourself! How can you expect to behave like a sexual being if you're in mommy mode all the time? Take a few minutes out of your day to pamper yourself a bit, and remember that you are a woman also....read a little bit of that racy novel....wear that sexy pair of panties.....be open to your man's fantasies, chances are that if you won't, someone else will be happy to!



I truly don't believe that sex is dead after marriage. Sometimes sex takes a backseat to other things, but people that are truly in love understand that sex is part of a healthy and happy marriage, and they make the effort to keep things going.

Answer 202

The disneyland of dating/courting the sex any and all the time ended with marriage/kids. The cooking, cleaning, and rest of life does not get done on its own. We use to rush around all hours of day & night during the week to get this done for our weekend romance. Literally, we spent the whole weekend no chores just basking in our love. I lived with family (so I did not have all the household responsibilties I have now) and he had a condo (no lawn/snow/ or house upkeep)



Once marriage hit the facade was over.

Staying in bed until noon, running into the house and ripping off his clothes when the mood hit me is a little difficult with an infant and toddler around.

Sex still occurs but the mind blowing, all day, all senses going kind of sex has other things competing with it. You have a time limit now. Gone are our days of spening hours in bed together only stopping to eat because we were hungry. our kids need us. DO I miss that?- often would I trade our kids for it back?-no

We make do with our quickies and scheduled adult playtime for now and hope to get back some of that fun and spontanity when the kids are older.

It is not that sex after marriage is over it is just different.

Answer 203

If you are in fact Jackie Collins the author, love them books baby....my husband and I have been married for over 25 years and the sex still has not stopped, it has just gotten more inventive....use too when we were young, we would make love and take a nap, now we take a nap then think about making love!ha

Answer 204

You have just assumed that that is the consensus of opinion. I disagree with that assumption. There are lots of other people here that disagree too by the looks of how many replies you have.

My fiance and i have the best sex ever and I probably wouldn't be marrying him if i thought marriage would change that.



People said sex would stop after we had kids too and guess what, we still have lots of really good sex.

Answer 205

for some reason people always looked at marriage as something that stops you doing the things you want to do with your life...in the western media there is a very negative image of marriage being something which is boring, constraining and unsatisfying...

there are plenty of married couples who treat every day like it is valentines day.



on the other hand...marriage is where you live together and share all your life such as bills, responsibilities, house work and all the things which can ...in my opinion hinder the spark of a relationship or that lust that was therein the beggining but ithink people can make it work by keeping things unpredictable and interesting , spice everything up...keep business as business and sex as sex...



but all in all, i think the notions of marriage being a time when sex stops is to do with the way that the media has systematically brainswashed our society to be more into dating, consuming, and revolving our entire lives around our ego...



if the promoted "marriage" ....how would sex sell?



hope my opinion makes sense, afterall, sex is used to sell everything from drinks to gardening furnitre...if everyone had a desire to be wholesome and get married, it wouldn't work...sex and the city is a perfect example of that.

Answer 206

I think that this is wrong. I have been married for 20 years and we are still sexually active. Of course we slowed down a bit but we never stopped. Sex is a very important factor to having a healthy relationship. I guess the reason is that when we get married and as time goes on, we see each other less as a sex object since our feelings get deeper and we focus more on just being together and finding new things to excite us not just sexually but emotinally as well.

I also agree that when we get married, we talk less about our sexual encounters because of respect to our partners thereby getting the wrong notion that sex stops when you get married but you just dont know what really happens behind closed doors.

Answer 207

I don't know why people think that sex stops just because two people get married to each other. I know my hubby and I are very active and enjoy our sex life after 15 years together. I think the best thing that can be done is for parents to stop hiding the fact that they still have a sex life from their kids. Parents should let their kids know that sex is not everything but it is a good thing that helps keep two people together, because it is a stress reliever and cheap fun for parents. I do encourage parents to stress the fact that sex should be saved for marriage, there is too many dangers out there for ANYONE to go around just having sex because they can.

Answer 208

don't read the consensus. Sex may slow because of lifes pressures but stop. Thats a heavy word. maybe more married couples should step up to the plate here and change this consensus.

Answer 209

Hi Jackie,

It is generally true.

The begining of marital Life is the waning of Sex life and finally leads to seventh year itch.

To retain the balance between the life before marriage and after marriage.

After marriage life remains the same for whom the marriage is just a stop in this voyage.



So Balance is the Key to everything in this world.





I Hope i was able to convey the message though not even close to the way you do Jackie

Answer 210

Here's an example of why sex stops after marriage: sex was generally good and often before marriage; some limits on what kind of sex we did but I was often assured that sex would get better (more bj's and variety) after marriage... Post-marriage: sex dropped off, became less often, more restrictive, and a chore. I realized that I was taken for a fool and that deep down my wife and I are sexually incompatible. I love sex, she doesn't. At times she will go through the motions "just to get it over with" She is highly inhibited, uninterested in exploration, or of trying new things. She usually just lays on the bed, motionless and unaffectionate, does not kiss me back, does not touch me at all, and lets me do all the work. She has promised ad nausiam that she will change and try harder with no real effort being evident. She is particular about how or where I touch her, I no longer know when or how to touch her or whether or not she will accept my advances or push my hands away. I'd rather avoid the physical contact than to risk another rejection--the paradox is that she complains to me often that I am not romantic, that I do not initiate intimate contact. I just don't understand her. I am tired of fighting over sex and I am tired of complaining about the things I shared above--she simply does not care about my feelings, needs or desires. Her judgmental character makes it difficult to confide in her my deepest desires or fantasies. I am desperate for sex but frankly not with her.

Answer 211

because we get comfortable. the maintenance and upkeep you had to do while dating is over. an exception would be a trophy wife. we don't do the same things once we get married or we get into a routine. that new sitcom " Starter Wife" I think nailed it. She became predictable, reliable and unquestioningly loyal. He never had to do anything and the challenge of acquisition was over.

some guys are just immature, some aren't.

some women are insecure, some aren't.

this is for the ones who aren't

to change this you can keep it hot scheduling a date with your partner.

some people like role play, as if they are meeting a mysterious stranger: wigs, clothes. men like variety even though it is you it is a fantasy you.

exercise with partner helps to get blood flowing.

showering with you partner.

talking or listening to your partner beyond the bedroom.

do something you have not done since your 1st or 2nd date.

laugh with your partner.

have hobbies together and apart to appreciate each other.

Answer 212

Keep having sex after you get married. ha ha Really!! The best way to continue having sex is by keeping a open communication in and outside of bed. Married people have a tendency to get caught up in their lives and start to drift away from eachother. Between having kids and working sometimes fullfilling eachothers needs get put on the back burner. Make sure that you continue to be close by talking with one another on a regular and daily basis. Set aside time to be with one another. Get a sitter and go somewhere you can just be in eachothers company. Communication, Communication and Communication is the key. If your not communicating then it seems at times that you are more strangers then you are partners. Good luck!!

Answer 213

the answer is quite simple in my opinion. the way marriage and sex was intended to be no sex before marriage. however, that is not the case anymore. if you ask the few people that do wait to have sex before marrisge, they will totally disagree. sex is all day every day. now people are having sex at 13 and waiting until they are 30 to get married. so obviously sex is not such a big deal by the time one actually gets married. and then, kids, work, household duties, and stress come into play and a good nights sleep becomes more important than wild passionate sex all night. its kind of screwed up, but thats the way marriage has evolved. so, if you want lots of sex in a marriage....wait until you are married and marry a virgin.

Answer 214

I never understood that, seems with marriage sex should be 1000000000000 times more, you wake up with each other everyday and go to sleep with each other ever night, Yes the kids and those things but why not, what if kids did come in on you. that's nature are they not going to see animals doing that. But always have lock on door anyway. Marriage is with someone you love and no matter what anyone says sex is more fun with someone you love than with a hole in the wall or new lady or man ever night. I just don't get it why not, I guess because people think to much ,lol I know I do but why not, it should be more, if wait till you get married in first place then it be better also.

Answer 215

Where ever did you get the mistaken impression that there is a consensus of opinion that sex stops after you get married? Was that from the same people that said high carb low protein diets are good for you...or was it from the people that said Sadaam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction and is going to use them on the United States unless we go to war now?

Answer 216

honestly i think we are the ones who allow a relationship to lose its flare!!!

lets be real,while dating we get all dressed up,

we do everything to impress the other party

yet after a few days being married its almost as if

all that matters no more!

but it should because maintaining a good sexual relationship with our spouses allows to remain on top and keep the fire going.most of the times when a male is asked why he cheats?

he says well: my wife doesn't this she doesn't that!

oh come on,why don't the wives do what they are suppose to

i can tell you this wives withdraw from there husbands for many reasons( most times these poor women feel insecure)

sometimes they feel that they aren't getting desired attention.

as for me both party is responsible for killing the fire.

sex only stops in a marriage if the interest towards the person decreases.

or the male/female decides to have an affair

or if the other party don't feel he/she is getting enough shhhhh!

most people believe otherwise though,this is just my opinion.



thanks for sharing with us

Answer 217

i think that the male testosterone level is pretty heavy til they die even men with e,d, still have some primal urge even though they cant perform there brain still would hope that a urge may come up,i would say show more affection to me that would be satisfactory as you get older with some men and woman are happy in a monogamous relationship ,i don't know if it is a consensus or,,i don't believe in anything you hear and half what you see ,or hearing some people simply complain a percentage small of course that complain about everything, some people may need the invigorating act to keep there lust part of them satisfied on both sides ,be cause it is on both sides, or maybe they may need to go to s.a. sex anonymous,and some times the past of either may of had a experience with some kind of abuse in the past there not confiding in each other.

Answer 218

100% every married man Ive ever talked to over the last 20 years has said dont get married dood, you dont get no sex after she has a few kids....... as soon as the missus has kids forget it. Then again Im open minded enough to know that there must be some couples with active libidos and enough free time for rumpy pumpy, I think its the fact that prices are so high these days both mum and dad have to work just to put junior through school etc, theres not always a lot of quality time for working couples because one usually works on the opposite shift schedule.

Answer 219

That is false! Married People doesn´t like to tell about their sex life... Maybe the consensus is that talking about sex is unpolite, or no decent because they are head of a family and they must be respectable. If the "consensus" was true, marriage will be decrease day by day, but no.

Answer 220

The opinion that sex stops with marriage is due to the fact that married couples who are happy with their sex lives do not talk about it. The people who broadcast their opinions are usually the unhappy complainers, for whom their sex probably has stopped with marriage. Unhappy people will always complain and have a negative opinion. In order to change the consensus of opinion, people who are happy with the sex in their marriage should also be included in the count.

Answer 221

The rhythmic pattern of daily life removes the spontaneity and passion from a relationship.

What can be done to change this...simple...always remember that sex is one part of the marriage that can always be exciting, spontaneous, joyful, passionate... Incorporate it into the the monotony (ie do the laundry and do it while doing the laundry..). And of course to change this consensus people have to stop complaining that they aren't getting enough and actually do

Answer 222

Most people do the "sex before marriage" which means,

they do not have the FULL responsibility of a marriage.

They are engaged in only part of it. There is more time for

the sex, and because their minds are not cluttered with the

responsibility of the bills, children, jobs, the give and take

in the relationship, (not a fully working relationship), to have

the sex is the ONLY thing they have going.



So, guess what? why marry, right? These are "for the

moment" type of counterfeit relationships with no depth,

or bonds of holy matrimony.



A couple in a healthy relationship KNOWS, before they

enter into the covenant of marriage, that sex is only a part

of the entity of the relationship, as now, there will be more

responsibilities to look after. Now, their sex life will be a

NO SHAME, NO GUILT, and NO WORRIES part of their

"wholeness" life. It is enjoyable, pleasurable, but most of

all, the HEALTHIEST of intimacies between the couple.

How awesome to have this kind of bond in a marriage.



Not everybody experiences the above because they are

looking for the feel, or chemistry of the moment. Like, a

woman can have a man come over to her home, apt.,

whatever, and she will quickly discover that when he

walks in, he leaves his heart (life) outside the door and

only brings in the body. Its a shame, isn't it? That we

sell ourselves over to this kind of behavior and trade a

blessed, healthy, abundant life for all the "darkness"

and "counterfeits" out there just waiting, and preying on

Beautiful Woman, created by God for a different purpose.

A Beautiful Woman with virtues and integrity, who truly

knows her identity.



Blessed be those men and women who have discovered

their purpose and stay away from worldly lusts, feelings,

and dangerous ground.



Ms. Collins, you are a beautiful woman and have somewhat

of an influence over many women in the world. May you

point them in the right direction with that kind of "power"

if you will. You were gifted with the gift of writing, authorship,

and many look forward to your next book.



Give us something concrete, something we can actually

hold on to as women. Give us more integrity, more challenges to look into ourselves and discover who we

REALLY are, instead of sex objects. (Here today, gone

tomorrow.) Lets throw away the Daisy enigma (he loves

me, he loves me not) and show us how to be a rock solid

rose, the biggest one, the strongest one, and the one with

the BEST fragrance. That is what today's women need.

Therein begins the change from the Daisy Effect to a

Lovely Rose, Majestic huh?



Thank you Ms. Collins for the beauty of you.



Sincerely, Sienna

Answer 223

actually it didn't stop,it becomes boring...not only because of marriage but of the responsibilities that comes after marriage! in fairness with the others this opinion applies on a case to case basis..if you marry the one you really love even old age cannot bored the couple or will sex stop,as long as there is a spark of this unique connection called love in the marriage then nothing will stop you to express it! sex is the physical expression of what you feel about your partner..we cannot change the opinion of others because things like this are best judge by experience and wide understanding between the difference of sex and lovemaking may it be under the oath of marriage or the open understanding of self expression with the one you love or liked!

Answer 224

In my opinion a marriage is a difficult journey and truthfully only the strong survive. LOL. Ok well i have found that no matter what happens in a relationship there has to be "him and her" time. Bills can pile up, house payments continue to come but if the couple stops being a couple and focuses soley on problems at hand they tend to forget about the marital bliss that a couple has originally coupled for to begin with. If there are problems in the bed room try something that the two of you might think could spice up your night.

Answer 225

In my opinion, the are several reasons. Some a pertinent to men, others to women and some to both. Among the reasons for men there is the fact that routine becomes an issue. There is a higher commitment and responsibilities with his partner. Women, they are no longer the Girlfriend, know they are a Wife. The issue of motherhood creeps up. There is a higher need for Romanticism know that they are sure the man next to her will be next to her for the rest of her life. For both, now that they are married, long term satisfaction take a lot of effort and sex is not long term. For me Sex in a marriage requires more work that on single life. That is way, if you are not ready to work on your sex life, and need lots of care free sex, Don't Get Married.

Answer 226

Because it's just simply true. In my 25 years as a family counselor, I've rarely come across married people who are sexual with each other after a few years into it.



Look at the overweight issue in the US....people are out of touch with their bodies ...how are they supposed to center in on what it feels like for their partner to touch them? It's difficult at best and often brings up feelings about what they don't like in their own physique.



Then look at all the sexual abuse victims...they have battles to overcome. Look at all the addicts of so many things....their sex is found in their drug of choice. The easy answer list is long.



There are lots of reasons, but I don't think changing the consensus of opinion is the issue...changing the truth of it would be better.

Answer 227

I think its just a half empty society that talks that way. It isn't that their sex has stopped. The marriage just isn't working and they find it more socially acceptable to blame it on "the sex stopping" than talk about more heavy problems........finances.......lack of mutual respect......health........those types of things.



Hmmmm .....changing it would be hard. Statisticly speaking the sex might really be stopping.....there are a lot of divorced couples out there....and obviously they aren't having sex if they are too busy flipping through the yellow pages looking for a divorce attorney. I wonder if the couples who admit that they are happily married.......can be happily married while at the same time the sex might be "stopping". I would still be happily married even if the sex stopped....but lets not get crazy now....... I'd rather it didnt'!!!

Answer 228

You know, I've heard that Lord knows how many times and I'm not sure who these researchers are polling! Ok, it was already that my husband and I had a great sex life during our courtship but after the marriage...Heck, we had sex in the grass near a Walmart parking lot! (need I say more) and there's a 9 yr difference between my hubby and I (I'm 24, he's 33). Even after our two kids, we still found time to have sex at least 4 times during the week and several times on the weekend. (We even dropped the kids at my mom's and spend the entire day in the bedroom!) It's what you make of it!

Answer 229

I guess after marriage, its more of responsibility towards love for each other.. Both of them have a certain responsibility to keep the family together, thus they are more focused towards maybe their jobs, children, bills etc.. There's lesser time for sex.. Its rather unhealthy I would say.. I think its up to both parties to try to change this consensus.. There are couples out there who make it a point that they enjoy sex maybe 2-3 times a week as they make time for each other... The government can also help by promoting this idea as tthis may help many families, avoiding more divorce cases...

Answer 230

Well, maybe because the excitement naturally fades after a while. I've never been married but I did just get out of a LTR. After a while it was work to make sure me and my lady were getting in enough squishy time. I couldn't imagine how it would have been if we got married. Has anyone said that maybe people are getting married too early in the relationship. They haven't given it the couple years it takes to find out if you really hate someone. if you meet someone and marry them in a year then there's a good chance that a couple years down the road you'll realize that they're not the one who truly lights you fire. just a thought. give marriage and relationships time. It's not a race.

Answer 231

The arousal is more because of excitment generated in a person due to the harmones working. There after also the sex can be maintained in the same tempo if the couple sheds of all frictions or if they can put off from mind with a clear and undisputable truth that the creator has given the mechanism for us to re-energise ourselves and the pleasure we are getting is undisputedly the best of all at no extra cost

Answer 232

Pianoguy thinks that passion between a couple can go on indefinitely...or that it can shut down the longer you're with a significant other!



A lot depends upon whether you enjoy doing OTHER STUFF together AS A COUPLE...and not just "moan and groan in the bedroom?" Some couples NEVER GET TIRED OF EACH OTHER and can hardly wait to see each other at the end of the day? Others are already bored with their marital lifestyle and think up excuses not to be home on time?



Sex is based upon desire....and let's face it...."desire diminishes" when one or both halves of a married couple can calculate how a partner will behave when he or she is home?

Answer 233

It is definitely more of a private thing in marriage with love and respect. It just doesn't seem very classy to talk about it to your friends . It becomes a nobody's business topic. Also in a marriage one or both couple's often work long and hard at their jobs to help the family move forward financially so when the work is all done all they feel like doing is getting some sleep. There are other pleasures in marriage that are not as prevalent outside of it, ie. Contentment, Satisfaction, Pride, Children and when sex does happen what a bonus!

Answer 234

People have some strange ideas regarding a lot of things, not least of which is marriage. As far as changing the consensus is concerned, I don't think it's important enough to bother with. The average person does not live in a factual-based reality, but in a fantasy world. Do you think their opinions are really all that important when they aren't well-grounded to begin with?

Answer 235

I disagree with the consensus. I think that's just people exaggerating. But I do think, for average people caught up in the rat race of life, things can become too routine, and time is consumed by daily stuff and people (couples) lose focus on what they need to do: make an effort to make time for each other.



Start changing any negative (perceived or otherwise) by teaching that it is important not to lose each other to daily lives. Set aside a few hours each week and rediscover yourselves all over again, and again.

Answer 236

Haven't you heard?

Scientists have discovered a food that makes a woman stop wanting sex.

It is called a wedding cake.

Seriously, with the struggles and distractions of life and the newness wearing off of the relationship, some people get lazy and don't try as hard to do what they thought they would like to do all the time.

If you buy a new car, you want to drive all the time, for any reason, right?

After you have had that car for a few months to a year, you start to take less unnecessary trips in it right?

You still love your car, you just aren't obsessed with it anymore.

Answer 237

I would assume it comes from the ending of bragging about the sex. Most Married men keep the intimates of their relationships to themselves (as well as Women) where most non married couples have a tendency to share when they "scored". To Change this consensus I think people would have to be more open about their post marriage sex lives. For that to happen the general opinion on what is P.C would have to change as well.

Answer 238

Because when you get married, there is a shift in the relationship, right away. Most couples don't know that now, you treat each other with even more.......I'm not sure what the right word is, but I'll have to use something, so to make a point, I will say "respect." If the husband is one who has slept around a lot, he will have to guard against "taking his wife for granted........" and not getting bored with her. She on the other hand, will have to not forget to make herself visually attractive.......[cause his eyes will definitely be "wandering......" then she will be hurt and so it goes. Rifts get started very easily between newly weds. They grow quickly and she tries hard to overlook flirtations so she can't be accused of being jealous. The first year is very difficult. You thought you knew the guy before you married [he convinced you that he had eyes for you only] and then you find out after marriage that you just made the biggest mistake of your life. It takes a lot of maturity these days, to have a successful relationship. BTW, once the wife loses all respect for the husband.....[he killed all her "feelings" for him thru gratifying his selfish ego with all the flirtations] the marriage relationship is over....its a marriage in name only. Sad.

Answer 239

Sex doesn't stop, but defiantly slows down, and becomes less frequent. Sex with a different partner is more exciting. When you continue to have sex with the same person hundreds, or thousands of times, some of the excitement, and newness is gone.

Sex is like a box of chocolates. When it all that you've had, for the last 6 years, you KNOW what your gonna get inside.

(the above quote was cut from the Forrest Gump movie)

Answer 240

In my opinion sex is the ultimate link and bond in a relationship. If the sex is great and frequent the relationship is great as well. If the sex is bad and rare it puts a strain on the relationship. Without sex I don't feel close to my partner. You just have to make an effort to keep that intimacy and bond of closeness there. Also, if one or the other of the couple is not satisfied with or getting adequate sex at home they will more than likely venture elsewhere to get what they desire and crave. This sucks but it's the truth.

Answer 241

I was similar to alot of your reply's at first we were doing it alot. but over time the "consensus" we slowed. we have 4 children in 6 years and it was very tiring for my wife, looking after the children as I was working alot to pay the bills. We developed issues and I found that it wasn't really my wife was just to tired but it I working too hard or not showing my affection enough. now by showing my affection i dont mean kisses and cuddles. but it was things like doing dishs and washing, vaccumming, and generally helping out around the house. After I started doing this (and it wasn't straight away) we had a better sex life than when we were first married/dating! it wasn't all me either my wife became more understanding to my work pressures.



Now that we sit back and look at it, we find that it was the break down in our communication that cause our sex lives to fade. once we opened up to each other more, discussed what was annoying us, whether it being the toasters on the blink, me leaving shavings in the sink or my wife using my shaver on her legs we hit a new lease on love and life.



I cant recommend this for everyone Im just saying this is what worked for us, but If you can get past this hurdle in your marriage it can be amazing!!!!! I really do mean it.

Answer 242

I feel that this may be true if you had sex with your mate prior to marriage, because you know each other, you know what makes or turns the other person on, once you marry your mate, then there is no element of surprise, you both know what the sex is all about---there is nothing to look forward to because you sampled before marriage, so this may be one of those instances when you get married then the sex stops, you just became legal thats all the sex is still the same, THIS IS JUST MY OPINION :) What can be done to stop this, me personally wait until marriage, antcipation is the best thing, you want him or her, but the waiting makes it all worth while.

Answer 243

What does a 7-11 store and marriage have in common? Not much variety but very convienent at 3 in the morning. All kidding aside the best birth control method is having three children in quick sucession. No wonder sex is the 1st victim of marriage. Take two tablets and keep away from children and husbands.

Answer 244

IT doesn't stop entirely. It just slows down . We let too many

other things get in the way of our relationships.We get too

complacent. We don't work as hard at flirting or teasing our

spouses. We forget that we can still have fun and try to be sexy. We forget to listen to each other everyday. And we don't

have to settle for a boring lifestyle. We can find interesting

things to talk about and plan fun things to do. Couples seem

to get lost between the mortgage, work stress, meetings,kids

the list goes on and on. We have to change our way of thinking about trying to get more out of our marriage. A new attitude would help. We need to think outside the box after

we tie the knot. Showing our spouse more appreciation

more affection more love and being very grateful that we have

a marriage. Life does not have to be so so serious. We have to learn to laugh more and enjoy! The choice is ours. We can

change something if we are willing to do the work.

Answer 245

I don't think sex stops but more like you stop trying. When you first start dating people the main goal is to get to know them and to get them into bed but when you marry them you don't have to try it just becomes part of the routine you don't flirt or show that much affection because you assume that your partner knows how you feel and the relationship loses the romance and excitement. I also think that sex loses importance when you marry you tend to have other things on your mind e.g kids,work so you don't really think about sex as you did when you were younger and not married.



To change the consensus offload the kids phone in sick from work ignore any other distraction. flirt with your partner show and tell them they are still attractive romance them and if it works have sex then tell everyone that it's great to get married as the sex is awesome.

Answer 246

I don't think it stops; and I don't think that's the consensus of opinion. There may be ups and downs over the course of a marriage; but for many of us it takes about 30 to 35 years to really reach a sense of 'oneness' in meeting each others need for sexual fulfillment; and a lot of marriage counselors agree.

Answer 247

I believe it is the general consensus also. Because, oh baby it does not stop. I think people in general feel that if you've been together for so long that when marriage comes they feel, oh yeah, she/ he ain't going no where now - this is for life!! I think that's what happens and then everything that they did at first beginnings stops.



Well, there is a song that goes like this and I think it sums it up pretty well. It goes like this - - - -



Same thing it took to get your baby hooked

It's gonna take the same thang to keep her!

Answer 248

well, first of all you dont say how long you've been married,so i am taken it that you have been married for a while,so the only thing i can tell you is it stops cuz it becomes a routine and is boring. its not exciting anymore, you can get it anytime you want it, the thrill and challenge is gone,so if you want to have more sex... do dates, like you did before you were married... or have romantic dinners, including candlelights,etc, or draw a bubble bath and have candles as your only lights in the bathroom,have soft music playing, turn off all phones and any distractions. this should only be about him and you... concentrate on each other and what there needs are and forget about the rest of the world... good luck!

Answer 249

You get so wrapped up in the everyday boring stuff that by the time you get home all you want to do is go to bed. And lets face it after you have been married for a while it doesn't feel the same. I have been married for 8 years and my husband is diabetic and has problems with his eyes. So after work I go home and clean and run to the pharmacy, Dr. offices. Then there is the extended family that wants part of your day. and then the housework, If you have kids then you have a million and one things to do.



By the end of the day you are lucky if you have the energy to brush your teeth. Sex becomes something that just isn't that important any more. it's nice but not a necessity.

Answer 250

sex may slow but to have it stop would be death to marriages. And the only reason it slows is due to the availability. I mean when I was seeing my wife as boy and girlfriend we had sex almost every time we were alone. Now that we live together and have been together for 27 years that type of sexuall activity would require a back belt, Viagra, Vitamin E dinners, and an indestructible bed. Not that we havent tried, but sharing intense intimate time with advanced knowledge of your partner seems to satisfy us both much more than repetitive plain old sex.

Answer 251

Sex does not stop when you get married! Why are so many women having children if their is no sex after marriage. I wouldn't have four siblings. My father wouldn't have nine siblings.



To change the consensus people just need to talk more postive about marriage. Usually only one or two people talk negative about something and then it is thought of as bad!

Answer 252

I guess it's because you get comfortable doing different things together by the time you get married and you realise sex is not everything there is in a relationship as you first thought when you started dating. Then there's life daily chores, your job maybe kids and with all that goes on when you do get in bed it's time to sleep, get some much needed rest for the next day. Life is hectic, you need a stress free life to have sex as you would like. I guess it doesn't really stop it's there but just not there. You get me.

Answer 253

The only person we can change is ourselves!



I for one am willing to do my best to turn the tide.



Maybe finding the right person before getting married would help.



Spending time together for longer than your hormones require to make decisions about lifetime commitment could help.



Marrying someone that you not only like but respect and admire helps you focus on the real issues and keep egos in check.



Life itself is hard enough without all the pressure. So letting your spouse know that you are their stress outlet can give you opportunities that you never dreamed of.



Like I said before, Jackie, I'm on your side. I pledge to do my very best to turn the tide:)

Answer 254

I would really appreciate the answer to the how to change this, because this has been happening to me I've been married for 6 years and I am only 26 I should be at my highest sexual experience in the world but not the case!!



I could probably have something to do with my partners beliefs, I wish I'd known this before getting married, but I'll see what happens I am starting therapy tomorrow!!

Answer 255

Married people just don't have as much of a childish need to brag.. Many single people have sex, and don't have a clue when the likelyhood of getting it again may be, so you have to tell the story up while it's still hot. While the singles are out trying to find someone to have sex with the married people already know they have the deal sealed. I'd almost bet my life that many married people have more adventurous stories than you singles ever thought about having. Singles focus on getting it, married people focus on more adventurous things they haven't done. We just don't tell all you singles about it. Could you really assume that all the Kama Sutra books where written by a single person who was having to go out to find someone to try out a new idea with?

Answer 256

There is this psycho babble theory called "the theory of diminishing returns" that states that as consumption of the same product increases, the gratification, or in this case, sexual fulfillment will not be as rewarding as in previous experiences. The same theory applies to sexual partners. As couples continue to have sex, the enjoyment level slowly starts to decrease.



Married sex can still be excellent, but it will never be as good as the premarital sex. I mean, what can you do better if you've done your best karma sutra moves a couple months into the relationship?



The best way to keep a satisfying sex life in your marriage is staying spontaneous. Appreciate your partner as if it could be the last time. Enjoy your partner's sexual senses, don't treat it like your job, don't make it a routine.

Answer 257

I think as you progress in a relationship you go threw stages of a marriage... finding someone, falling in love, marriage, sex , and as time passes, you settle in to a different type of relationship, careers ,buying a home, having children, what you put in is what you get out and then some, I dont think you can change this consensus, as all people are different, I think males think more about this then women

Answer 258

people have sex for many different reasons, lust, love, etc. When you get married, sex isn't as important anymore. After all, you don't marry someone just because they are a good lover. You marry because you love the person more than life itself. So the easiest way to answer that is, sex doesn't stop, responsibility takes over and things are put into better perspective.Besides, absence makes the heart and other things, grow fonder...

Answer 259

Well, the truth is that when a couple is pregnant and the first year or so after the birth - sex goes on the back burner. But after that all usually returns to normal. The part of this question that puzzles me is this-- Jackie, we all know that you don't live your life worrying about what others think so --hmmmmmmmmmmm

Answer 260

most people I talk too say this but I think before you were married you were having sex when you see each other it could be once or twice a week but after you get married you expect to have sex when you want it and because you are living together and starting to get to know each other better and you develop some problems with each other it does not happen all the time but if you truly love love and care and spend as much time as possible with each other i am sure you should not have a problem , but sometimes people just marry for wrong reasons

Answer 261

I don't believe anything can be done to change this consensus. The majority of people use their parents as role models for marriage and it's tough to imagine your parents having sex (even though I'm reliably informed that they do!). Therefore I'm convinced that the dynamic of a relationship changes when marriage comes into the picture. The mind set of many people undergoes a subtle change as they subconsciously settle into a relationship which is based on their own experience of marriage (i.e. their parents).

Answer 262

I guess it is the notion that sex is not "hot" as when when your single. In general I think society views first time hook ups as the hottest sex ever and does not see that having sex with the same partner/spouse gets boring after a while.

In my opinion it is more liberating to have sex with the same spouse/partner because you do not have worry about diseases( assuming both people are faithful)and you get to try new and fun things that you may not be able to try with a first time hook up or the earlier years when the two people first start dating. In the end it is a matter of preference and opinion.

Answer 263

Personally, i think some people are just to damn closed minded about marriage!



I have been with my hubby for 6 1/2 years now and married for 2 years. WE HAVE 2 YOUNG BOYS ages 2 1/2 and 7 months. And our sex life is BETTER THAN EVER!



Just b/c you have responsibilities does not mean it all has to end! I think A LOT of people who do get married and have this idea about sex ending after marriage actually LET IT END!



The sex only ends b/c that couple LET IT END and didnt do anything to keep the sparks flying! ITS THEIR OWN DAMN FAULT!

Answer 264

When two are involved with each other it takes much effort just like any other relationship to keep the interest there. One gets out of the relationship what one puts into it. However, the distinct difference between explicit sex and lovemaking are two very different things. The importance of sex-lovemaking (in the various ways of sexuality) in any relationship will only enhance daily and ordinary activities of everyday life such as ( i.e. work, kids, laundry, cooking, etc. etc.). When couples place a priority on the importance of the physical aspect of their relationship be it touching, kissing, hugging, and or any particular way to make love then the other aspects of the relationship tend to fall in to place and then the idea of sex/ lovemaking stopping diminishes.

Answer 265

Once married each spouse enters their comfort zone, they find that magical line of what can they get away with, the excitement of entering the unknown territory is gone, the newness is gone.

Marriage, for some people, is like a new toy, play with it for a while then forget about it.....get a new toy.

Married people need to take time out for themselves go on a "date", do something different once in a while, come home shut the doors, close the curtains and just have fun. Stop giving excuses like I'm tired, I have a headache, I have to work early....etc. Pretend like it is your last day on earth and enjoy the one who said "I do" to you for the rest of their life. Start saying "I will" do what I can to make this marrige the best.

Answer 266

General consencus seems to be that when the woman has got a husband, she no longer has to 'try'. Sex, looks, consideration, spontaniety, gereral care and affection......



Im not saying its universal or limited to women.

BUT, considering that in the dating period a man will rarely see a women without make up, push up bra, perfume, nice clothes etc, the day she appears unmadeup, in a scruffy t shift, with her breasts heading south and farting, then he gets a hell of a shock!!



Women KNOW men are inherantly more honest in their appearance and habits, the scruffy look and farts and such a shock to her.



Also, the male sexual respose is primarily visual, after 20 years of perfect body photos and Wonderbras, the day a woman starts to lose her youth is the time some men go for the younger model.



Im not saying its, right, or decent, or the perfect ideal in a politically-correct world, but its true.

Answer 267

People who agree with this opinion may believe that life stops after marriage. When in fact, it's a new beginning and a different challenge for married couples. Couples need to still set aside "date nights" - dinner out, perhaps a movie, a romantic getaway - to keep the fire burning. Both men and women need to remind themselves daily why they fell in love with one another in the beginning of courtship, and keep that same attitude more so after they have married. And when children come in the picture, continue to have "dates" - invest in a babysitter or relative who will be willing to watch the kids. It is a task to balance work, family and a social life, but if both spouses commit to the challenge to "keep the fire burning", there is a higher percentage that the sex continues and the marriage lasts. Bottom line is to communicate openly and express your wants and needs.

Answer 268

Well personally, as a young married man, I agree that sex stops with marriage. When me and my wife first met we has sex alot; And I constantly asked her if, and when we got married if anything would change as far as sex. She said "no" of course.. and actually, she TOLD me (after asking for it while we were unwed) that I would get more oral sex... As you have probably figured out already, neither was true. Now, looking back, I feel like with marriage came comfort... (too much) and she feels like since we're married and she's comfortable, I'm stuck with her and I wont stray so there is no need for sex. I guess it's good that there is trust but NO SEX is not the best way to keep me.

Answer 269

WELL A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THAT THE SPOUSE GETS TIRED OF THE OTHER BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN DOING IT SO MUCH BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED THAT WHEN THEY DECIDE TO GET MARRIED, IT'S OLD. THEN OTHERS SAY WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, YOU CAN GET IT ANYTIME, SO THERE IS NO HURRY TO DO IT WHEN THE OTHER IS IN THE MOOD. WHEN IN REALITY IT IS NOT THAT WAY. I BELIEVE THAT THE BEST WAY TO CURE THIS IS TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT, AND KEEP YOUR SELF UNTIL MARRIAGE, OR MAKE SURE THAT THE PERSON YOUR ARE GOING TO MARRY, IS A SEXUAL MATCH FOR YOU, AND GET SOMEONE WHO IS ON THE SAME SEXUAL LEVEL AS YOU ARE. IF YOU HAVE A HIGH SEX DRIVE,THEN GET SOMEONE WITH THE SAME DRIVE AS YOU. THEREFORE, THE SEX PROBLEM WANT BE A PROBLEM BECAUSE YOU BOTH WILL WANT IT PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WAY AND TIME.

Answer 270

Because people think that marriage is the opposite to passion, to good sex. In my case, it's the opposite. The first time with a man is always awful but after years of being with the same man, it gets better every day. He does everything right!

I think most people just haven't found the right person, so when the passion stops, so does the sex. There wasn't much else there to start with.

Answer 271

Sex did slow down for me and my wife after about 20 years. Well actually after the 1st 6 months or so we started to need to sleep sometime. We were at it every minute every day so we did slow down during the week, weekends were still a 24hour marathon .for the next 2 or 3 years. Then we tapered off to 4 to 5 times a week as the kids came along. Now after 24 years we have slowed to nothing. I have a heart problem (from smoking and eating rich foods) and my wife has put on about 40 pounds. I still love her with all my heart and soul,and tell her so a hundred times a day. I spend my days making her happy and she does the same for me.

I'm sorry but fat is a complete sexual turn off for me, I still get turned on by a nice body, but I could never cheat, It just isn,t in me, and I don,t think that I could love another. I know I could never break my wifes heart

Yes the sex slows down ,but the love and trust just keep on going. For us anyway.

Answer 272

Unfortunately it's because it's mostly true. Maybe it doesn't necessarily stop altogether, but it sure slows down!! That is a major complaint of most of the married couples that I know - my husband and myself included! What can be done to change this consensus? Changing the reality!!

Answer 273

Married folks need not to forget about the love and passion that got them married in the first place no matter how many children come into the picture. I see this as a cop-out for most people. People change as they get older and children come into there lives. Married couples need to be strong and grow with the changes in there life. Lovemaking especially for married couples is a special bond that neither one should go without. It just feels so good ya know ;)

Answer 274

well i wouldn't call it a consensus, but i know what you mean. The truth the natural progression of a relationship is to lose the exciting passion of the first year or so as it (hopefully, if you stick with it) matures into a deeper sort of love. Sex may decline in frequency but I've never heard of it stopping altogether except where one partner is cheating or for a time (i.e. during pregnancy).

So, this often COINCIDES with marriage, but correlation does not indicate causation.

Answer 275

I'm on my second marriage. It's in trouble but neither time had anything to do with sex. i have more sex now in my 40's than most married men ever have. i've seen the statistics and i wonder what the heck happened, 2-3 times per month? I'd go nuts if that was all I got too. 2-4 times per week is my normal. That is down from daily but still acceptable.

Answer 276

I do not agree or disagree with the consensus, but If you are right, then the consensus can be changed if all married couples leave their bedroom curtains open every night, or take part in a global reality TV project.

Answer 277

Well, I do not agree, I think the more 2 people do it the better it gets, and the more exciting! Because they learn more about the other person and the likes and dislikes!

I`m not dead so why would my sexlife have to be!

It really is up to everybody to make thier own call on this subject, but, as long as you keep the sprk you can have a flame!

Sex is not all there is to a marriage, but, it is a big part of staying faithful and married!

Answer 278

Because it does. You get married and start having kids you get tired and aren't in the mood. You have to schedule a time to have sex and it just doesn't seem as romantic and loving that way. My husband and I have two different schedules and two kids so it is hard to make time for that. He is tired and I'm tired and we just want to sleep. It starts to feel like a chore after that. I don't know how to change the consensus since I'm living it.

Answer 279

After you get married there are more responsibilities that you share. In general, there is the home you share, the bills you share, the work schedules you need to coordinate and possibly children and all of the details that go along with managing their busy lives. And the huge mistake of letting go of the intimacy that you desperately need to keep the husband/wife relationship alive because of all of the other stuff going on.

It takes hard work and willingness to keep your sex life interesting and welcome. And you both must be committed to keeping that vital line of communication, healing and connection open and working!

Keep talking, keep the little things alive like a kiss on the neck or a wink or just a quickie in the bathroom to help the special side of your relationship rich and ever present.

Just my opinion!

Answer 280

I know f*k all about this question. There's your answer.



But in general, a depth of love and sense of dual commitment to an individual relationship would help. As would good, open, frank and honest sex education from childhood onward.



That after a period of 2 years or so the novelty of consistently available sex wears off is the last statistical report I had. That is of course generally speaking.



But we all know sex with love is better than sex with sample set friction. So must also love be distinguished from romance.



The well-educated start having sex later and stop later, generally speaking, than the poorer and less well-educated. So maybe good, general and self awareness education is another line of approach.



I shall cease here: I have another line of approach to follow up on. (*winks*)

Answer 281

Because in some instances after marriage, and I stress some, certain couples lull into episodes of repetition when it comes to their sex life, as a result some partners look on sex as more of a chore and as a result lose the motivation to satisfy their partner. I believe that marriage should not stop a healthy sex life, it should give it a healthy boost because I believe love and commitment only strengthens a good person's will to satisfy their partner on all possible levels. But it must go both ways, both partners must be just as committed to each other as they are to their own individual needs. I also believe healthy doses of spontanaeity, variety and even a little experimentation doesn't go astray

Answer 282

I didn't know that was the consensus. When you get married, you should still have sex ALOT for at least the first year or two & it shouldn't ever stop, no matter how long you are married unless there are health reasons.

Answer 283

It is not only after marriage that sex stops; even before also it may stop if you indulge in uncontrolled sexual act - u get fed up with the same body and face and over a period of time it becomes unattractive. Marriage is an emotional, sentimental, blah blah blah and most importantly for security. After marriage Sex does not actually stop but wanes over a period of time. But it could be different for different people - sampel this - recently in India the newspapers carried a photograph of a couple with their 27th child. It means, they are still enjoying sex. Try their method if you have the ability.

Answer 284

I would have to say because after a few months or within the year the "honeymoon" period is over and then reality sets in. However, that mindset seems to plague those individuals that have the "perfect dream" life planned out. We all know life never goes as planned. I personally don't think sex has to stop in fact it shouldn't. You have many places and excusses to try to perfect "your moves" enjoy it.... To change this I think people need to be more open with communication and with what they want; not just with life but in the bedroom. Try to hold on to that "new love" feeling and always remember your mate as the person you first feel in love with.

Answer 285

In our case, our sex life has slowed down, but we still get it on at least once a week and we've been married for almost 29 yrs. I think it depends on several factors - general health of the participants, allowing each other to have his and her fantasies (which seldom include the other person), any worries about your financial state ... There's a number of things that would disrupt your thoughts about sex. It just seems like there are too many people who get married without finding out if they like having sex with each other!

Answer 286

There has been some media in Australia lately in regards to new mothers and career mothers, having to balance everyday life and raising a family. You got to admit that juggling a family and a career can cause a strain in your sex life if you don't get the support of your partner. But on the other hand, getting married doesn't honestly mean the death of sex, many couples are reinventing or learning new ideas to spice their sex lives. It depends on the actual individual whether sex stops in the track.

Answer 287

I feel that the sex stops because you get into that relaxed mode...Couples take the other for granted...

People rush into marriage for the wrong reasons, we just need to take time to know her/him before getting married...

People can keep it alive if they feel it (sexual feeling) in their hearts...I feel if you truly love... it won't die...Marriage is something you need to work with daily, it's something like a car, you've got to get it tuned up and keep the gas in it or it will stall out...

I've heard that a person can just put their hand over the others heart and vise-verse and get an arousal from that...I think that it just doesn't come across as the most important thing once you are married...You've got other issues on your mind, and you know that you can have it when ever and where ever...

Plus there's also the possibility that it's just getting to be too free, marriage isn't as sacred anymore. Too many adulterous affairs...

Answer 288

Does it really? I would think getting married would enhance everything in your lives especially because you can try everything with your spouse and not have to be embarrassed or ashamed and if new sex practice doesn't work out or the out come was messed up, try try something else.



I can't even imagine sex stopping after marriage. I can understand it slowing down due to the added responsibility of home, children, jobs but not stopping. Is there another queen or king in the nest?

Answer 289

Don't agree with that statement at all. I will celebrate my 10th anniversary next month on the 12th. My wife and I still have the same active sex life we had when we were first married. It only has gotten better in my opinion. We know what each other want and true love makes for the best sex in the long run. That statement is just from married guys jawing at the bar cuz their wife got fat and they have E.D.

Answer 290

I have only been married once and am currently separated but the fact is if both partners don't take an active roll in sex and various games/play in the bedroom sex gets the same and not desirable. to all the guys out there do your best because i just lost my best friend/wife to a new romantic flame and it sucks. Go to book stores or on line or anywhere you have to and keep lines of communication (especially when its about sex) open

Answer 291

I found that after marriage, the sex got better! You find what each other`s needs are, and apply romance/foreplay/excitement, and he/she will be waiting for you to get home in a state of excitement. Make sure you discuss the boundaries of do`s and don`ts and communicate would be the key word to happiness. I think that common opinion started in the old days in order to "catch" a man/woman, have a baby/family, then bicker about every little thing that irks each other, hence, the mood is gone.

Answer 292

It's been said many times but here it is again. Women use sex to get a relationship and men use a relationship to get sex. If one party is using more than the other then there will be an dropoff when they reach their goal. The women will slow down once she gets her wedding ring, while the man's drive will level off once he reaches his comfort level, or even decrease with all the burdens of marriage.



No man will ever admit while he's dating that he cant keep up. He will just keep going past his comfort level to ensure continued suplly in the future. That ring from him means he doesnt have to compete for you any more. or it is supposed to mean that anyway.

Answer 293

I find that to be absolutely wrong. It can happen that sex stops but it's not because of 'marriage', it's more to do with taking advantage of one another to the point you don't consider the other one so special anymore. Marriage is work, you have to keep the spark alive and well. My wife and I have been married for four years and I still can't keep my eyes off of her. For one, she never takes advantage of the fact that she's married to the point of not fixing herself up, she looks like a million dollars everyday, and that requires a certain amount of work. I do my best to look good for her, we always dress to match, whether working or socializing, people notice the rare times we may not match and it is rare. Make life fun, do as much as you can together, have a special date night once a week if you can, or even once a month. We have mutual foot rubs at least 4 times a week, we take walks just about every evening, holding hands. Backrubs, etc...We treat each other in such a way, it's like we've just recently met. Love and respect for each other go without saying. Our love grows everyday, she gets prettier everytime I see her and it makes it so that we can't keep our hands off each other. We also have one other very important aspect to our marriage, we share in our faith in the Lord and have based our life on His principles; serving and loving one another, putting each other first...Our life is very fulfilling in all aspects...

Answer 294

Because for many, it does. I know, I know, we're supposed to either hint coyly that 'I know I haven't!' or say that if it does happen, it must be the waning libido of the male . . . whatever. The fact of the matter is that for most people it does slow down a lot. Perhaps it's waning infatuation, perhaps it's social behaviors to 'acquire' a mate no longer in force once you actually HAVE your mate, or perhaps people are just boring. I don't know. What I can say is that despite the people who answer these questions with a resounding 'that's not true!' just about every clinical study ever put forth on this topic asserts that it is, in fact, true . . . which is why it's the concensus opinion.

Answer 295

My sex life is so wonderful and just gets better with time. I love my marriage and this statement needs to be seen around the world. My husband and I are completely satisfied. Like most other stereotypes, I think this one is going to always be a joke that never ends. As long as you are happy and content in knowing that you are sexually fulfilled in your marriage that shoud be enough to ignore the opinion. Maybe helping those marriages that actually are in a rut and taking the problem a little more seriously could eliminate a lot of the problem. If you know someone who is having this marital problem, actually help them.

Answer 296

Well, after some years together, I think people loose a bit of the romance through every day life. Work, kids, life gets in the way, and then suddenly you are married but like strangers.. I say if you want to keep things going, you have to make sure to keep each other as a priority. Make sure, no matter WHAT you take time just to be together, one on one. If you make sure to do this, I think things will be different..

Answer 297

Its pretty straight forward Jackie.

The consensus is such that, sex stops once you get married.

People get married and devote to one another's life. When this happens, you dont just have sex with your partner, but you Make Love. Its a lot more different than just having sex. Dont you think, this would make it a lot more easier for people.... the concept of making love to the one you love, preferably after marriage, than just sex before or after marriage.

Answer 298

I don't think it is so much as a total end of sex, as it is the frequency and intensity of sex after you're married. As far as changing the consensus, it takes two to have sex, it should take two to change the consensus. It's as simple as have the same sex life as you did prior to tying the knot.

Answer 299

um i guess stop working crazy. My brother his got married at the age of 20 and i don't know but he even change his mentality. His wife also, they don't see each other that much they don't have that much see. I believe because when your big, you get many responsibilities that you don't even have time like when you were younger like when you live with your parents. But i believe also that there is time for everything so people who is married should not be always making there minds like 'there's not time' or ' i am too tired' i guess one of them, the couple should work that out. This is very interesting because you know my parents got divorced and both have gf and bf and the only thing they talk is how good their gf or bf has sex. I guess the word married is the one that makes everything ugly i don't know.

Answer 300

Hello Jackie,



Did you find that this was the consensus of opinion after appearing on THE CATCH-UP on Tuesday ?



I think it's because people get lazy and to change it ... slip *something* into the water supply ;)

Answer 301

A lot of changes happen that take the focus away from the hubby & Mrs. children, learning to live together, moving, stress, mortgage, tiredness. all those and many more start to add up, and unless the couple are willing to work hard (as hard as they do with their jobs & raising children or looking after themselves)in their sex life after being married, then yes sex will eventually die, in saying this, being creative, and courting each other on a regular basis (as you did before you got married) you find that looking in"greener pastures" becomes pointless because you get all the excitement at home as well as needs met.

There are many people also who have written communication & this is a big part of marriage, in & out of the bedroom adn the biggest trick a women can do in pleasing her husband is to keep quiet, & listen as he expresses his thoughts. (& it makes your hubby feel more than extra special especially after he tells you his opinion, that you give him the feedback that you understood him)

Answer 302

I think it's because it becomes routine. You go to bed at night and then you have sex. There is no romance or spontinuity, so it gets boring. Lives get busy and you just start to take eachother for grantit. You know that if you are too tired tonight, there's always tomorrow. Some ideas to keep it alive is to schedule a date night, weekly, monthly, whatever you have time for. Even if it's just to get dressed up and go to McDonald's. Do your hair and make up like you would when you were first dating. Get ready in seporate rooms so that he doesn't see you with curlers in your hair. Also, don't let sex be restricted to the bedroom. Get wild in the kitchen, on the couch, anywhere the mood strikes you. Try not to get caught up in your busy lives and make time for eachother.

Answer 303

I know from my own personal experiance's that life just becomes so fast and full of responsability where is the time for SEX! Just to start the list: Work, Children, Debt, Household Chores ect! I think the list could go on. I think the fact that it stops is just a term, it doesn't really stop it just happens less; unless of coarse one or the other is cheating then it will usually stop.



You know when you meet someone you really meet a personality; you want to impress this person to keep them interested; after some time has passed you meet their character; it is almost like meeting this person again only under completely different circumstances. At the point of meeting this character is useually where the SEX slows way down or may even stop for a little while.



The key to keeping things going is to water your garden. Really if you are growing stawberries and you never water or fertilize them and entice them to grow they wont and will eventually die. The same goes in a relationship; you have to water it, you have to fertilize it and you have to entice it to grow. If not it to will eventually die.



"The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, it isn't greener where you stand, it is greener where you water it".



Most of all we can not forget GOD! The closer you become to him the closer you become to your spouse. A preacher friend of mine drew me a pyromid; at the top of this pyromid is God at the bottom is yourself and your spouse; if you grow toward the top of the pyromid (closer to God; keep in mind your spouse has to be growing with you or this will not work) then you as a couple grow closer togather; if you go the other way the lines on the pyromid just keep growing further apart just as your reltionship will.



So the answer to you question is this:



1) Grow closer to God with your spouse



2) Water your relationship



3) Fertilize your relationship



4) Entice your relationship to grow



I hope this is what you are looking for. Best Regards!

Answer 304

Because when you get married the husband generally stops doing all the loving things he did while courting you (not all but most) and as women we are more touchy feely and NEED those sweet reminders of their love and when our needs are not met....then guess who else has needs that don't get met? Yep, you guessed it, Mr. man does not get the attention he wants...thus pissing him off and causing a chain reaction...because now he does not want to do the nice things because he is pissed AND frustrated and makes wife miserable and so on and so on....



Thank God this is not the case 100% but it is the majority...as long as both parties continue to communicate and not take one another for granted than marriage can be great. If other is the case it can be a disaster....

Answer 305

To me, I don't believe it is so much the women, men have an overdriven sex drive, and after a few years with the same women, the same sex, it gets old, they want something new. There is not one person who can tell me that a man given the right opportunity will not cheat. I believe every man even through history cannot settle for one women, don't get me wrong, they may love one women with all there heart, but love and sex are obviously two different things. I am married, been married for 8 years. My mans cheated on me, and I am sure he still does.I am sorry but I think men are dogs. But God made men and women to procreate, in the old days, men slept with all kinds of women, just to spread there "seed".

Answer 306

The answer is not as simple as most people would like it to be, because the answer involves something that couples really shy away from. Communicating to each other. That's basically it. Most times in a relationship its HOW you say something rather than WHAT you say. What you are saying is "very important" but how you say it can be more important. Learning to talk to the significant other and being willing to listen. Remember that keeping it real is keeping it new. Don't be afraid to try new things as long as they are not harmful.

This is the advice that I would give couples in order to change this view of relationships souring.



Address

www.keen.com/IsaidIt



Phone Number

1-800-ASK-KEEN, extension 02018715

Answer 307

I think that it's only a matter of adjustment specially when both of you have an ideal vision how would your married life would be because sex is a part of pleasure.



But when you get married if u are an idealistic person then sex for both of you is a gift to each ohter wiht a total responsibily and commitment.



Maybe that's one of the reason why thinking of sex stops.





Good day!

Answer 308

I think those who are no longer having sex are unhappy and unhappy people like to complain to the other people. The age old, "Misery loves company."



Those still having wonderful sex after YEARS of marriage just aren't talking about it. I've been with my husband for 10 years. We still have sex 4+ times per week (even after kids) and it is better now than ever before. But when my friends are together in a group complaining about not having sex or wanting sex... I don't speak up for fear of how they would judge me. Silly, I know. Plus, I just don't talk about our sex life in general, with other people.



I think there are plenty of couples enjoying sex after many years of marriage but the only way to change the consensus is to get them to talk about it more... the more talking, the more likely we are to realize we are not alone!

Answer 309

well, I have been divorced now for 6 years,we were married for 18 and my ex and I had sex up untill the day of our divorce hearing. Evereyone we usually hear that from have been married since before time began. I.e. our parents,grandparents and so on. Everyone I know thats my age(40) and have been married for awhile stilll have great,passionate sex lives. My sexual appetite DID NOT die after I got married. I still find my ex wife desireable and she is 20 years older than myself. I think it's just a myth that started many generations ago. These days we live in a totally sexually related society and seems that our desires are more out in the open than say 20,30,40 years ago. Both men and women equally express their need and desires more openly than in the past. I think that it is all just our parents trying to scare us into not getting married! LOL! Think about this....Have you ever heard and Mom say that the girl her son was going to marry was ever good enough for him? This is what I am basing my view on. Thank you for listening and I bid you good-day M'lady.

Answer 310

It's because the whole relationship changes. The man starts taking the woman for granted. He works, comes home and sleeps or relaxes. If he loads the dishwasher, he feels great accomplishment. Mind you, he LOADED it, he can't start it because he only knows how to use a DVD, VCR or the tv remote.



The woman works, comes home, cooks, cleans, does laundry and takes care of pets/kids. She then goes to bed (if she makes it that far) and crashes only to get up the next morning and start it all over again. She is lucky if there is any time to watch tv.



There is almost no time or place for romance in a home like this, and we women know that a little romance goes a long ways.

Answer 311

I have no idea! I've been married for almost four years and the sex is still there! I'm guessing that it's a stereotype that you've gotten used to that person and the sex is the "same ol', same ol"; so, the less that you have sex with your spouse, the more you anticipate it! Then, again, it's always been my opinion that if your spouse isn't having sex with you, they're having sex with someone else! What needs to be done is that there needs to be more focus on couples who have a healthy or even a regular sex life.

Answer 312

Sex does slow down after marriage. That's a well known fact. However, it by no means has to stop. The only reason sex slows down is because of the economy. Couples have to work harder to make more money to be able to raise their families. The key is, keep it fresh! There are many ways to do this and I am sure you know them so I won't make a list. Not only children can play dress up!

Answer 313

I have herd the same thing many times. And what I have found is that the people that say that got married for the wrong reason. after sex you have to talk and that's where the problem starts for people that married because the sex was good instead of being friends and really liking the other person. Trust me, it doesn't if you married for the right reason.

Answer 314

I think sex sometimes stops or slows down when people get married because they already won. They got that person to marry them, so they can slow down on things from now on. Perhaps people have sex to compete? Seems unknown. Not all marriages are this way though. Young and older folks have lots of sex when being married. Could be the motivation and being healthy. Loving yourself and your body. Let's take a poll LOL

Answer 315

I completely agree that marriage cuts sex life. There is also a very popular saying in Italian (my native language) which goes "marriage is the tomb of love". Like every bureaucratic committment, marriage is a trap, where people on one day agree to be together forever, having NO IDEA how the future will go, and expecting a piece of paper to keep them united and their relationship going...ha! You might not agree with this opinion, but i assure that the percentage of married and unmarried couples with a healthy sex life is characterized by a huge discrepancies.

Answer 316

First off let say that I have read almost everybook of yours and

they are fantastic. I usually only read non-fiction. But you really know how to tell a story!



Now to anwer your question. I believe that if you stop having

sex when you get married than you really never loved each

other in the first place. Because no matter what that person

does if you love them you will want to have sex anytime and

any place. Because they are all you can think about.



And I'm so glad that I logged on to Answers today! And I'm

so looking forward to your new book! I know it will be great.

Answer 317

Sex doesn't actually stop... It seems like it does..

But what happens is that there are other responsiblities that both need to take care that time is of essence...

Unlike when first starting out it seems like the time spent together is quality time...

But in reality when you are married and you communicate there will be plenty of sex and maybe more than before married..

Trust me the lure is still there and can be put to play..Take advantage when it happens..Such as I want you...Sure...

Even if its a few minutes it is so worth it...Cause then you are at work all day with a smile...

Answer 318

I think a married couple struggles because it is not new and exciting anymore. Sex with a stranger always has a freshness and excitement to it. The married couple has to focus on the love and compassion they have for each other. As husband and wife you go through some tough times together. You have no negative memories with a stranger.....no history together. You just live a fantasy for a few hours. But always remember, the stranger does'nt care about you.....the loving spouse will always be there for you.

Answer 319

Consensus, about "the Act of Marriage" or "Global Warming", "Earth Is Flat", "Sun Revolves Around the Earth", "Acid Rain Is Harmful", "Evolution", etc. is *all* junk science!



My wife and I "consummated" our marriage on our wedding night (well, actually, in the "wee small hours"). After we rested and recovered somewhat from all the excitement and exhaustion of the Wedding Day activities and driving about 90 miles in a snowstorm, we experienced "the Act of Marriage", AKA: sexual intercourse, for the very first time. So I guess you'd say that when *we* got married, sex *started*!



I've known, and known of, married couples in their their 80s who still engage in marital relations, maybe just not as often! E.g., "I used to be able to do it all night, now it takes me all night to do it." While having sexual relations with your spouse may not happen as frequently when you get older, it is much more meaningful and satisfying, to both - but especially to the wife!



Did Algore tell you that "Inconvenient lie"?"

Answer 320

It doesn't stop but year after year it reduces. This is why I never stay with one woman more than 2 years. I've tried the marriage thing it is good for the woman bad for the man. My motto is always have at a minimum of 2 women and never stay with the same woman for more than 2 years. That's good advice for all you young people out there, write that down.

Answer 321

I think that with today's couples living together and sleeping together before marriage, the "newness" of the sex is not there when you first get married. So, like with anything else, after the newness wears off you don't use it as much.



Then you add children. Less time for "fun" things like sex.



Then, one person gets angry because there is less sex, and starts to complain, and suddenly sex becomes the "chore" you have to perform.



And who likes chores.



Personally, I no longer find enjoyment in sex. But I know that my marriage is in trouble and this lack of enjoyment is likely part of the problem.

Answer 322

Because it's not "new love." You know the excitement of just falling in love and all you can think about is being with that other person? Not necessarily "getting married," but if you are in a relationship for a long period of time and you don't keep the love life exciting, it will get dull and the desire for sex becomes less. I think that's also why there are so many affairs... So, keep the love and sex exciting and new all the time!

Answer 323

Well, let's ask women that question. Women are at fault here, just like my wife, and my 3 friend's wives as well.



Women feel like they got their man now, and that their men are happy and content. Well let me tell you something, you don't give your man sex, he is cheating on you for sure. Just like I am doing. My wife, an extremely cold and boring person, has FSAD like 50% of most women Female Sexual Arousal Disorder. Doesn't want to try new things in bed, is extremely boring, no passion, boy, I feel for the rest of you men, just like me, we always have to come up with new excuses to leave the house like, Poker night honey, or have a night class at college, that's the one I use. Oh well, if women in this country knew how to make their men happy, none of this would happen and Divorce would come plummeting down. Good luck all of you miserable men out there, when you get married, SEX STOPS OR YOU GET IT ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH!!

Answer 324

What can be done to change the consensus?

Change the way people define "Love making", and sex".

If you're In love and Married, you can "make love",in so many different forms.

The actual Act itself , sex,may not be as frequent, in some peoples lives, but isn't it the reason, not the act itself that matters most.

The closeness,the vulnerability, the union ,that's what makes "love Making" different in marriage.

As someone told me, it's not the amount you're having, it's the having that amounts.

Answer 325

Hmm, couples do not marry just for sex, I guess. Their primary, or should I say, supposedly, primary reason to be married is to have children who they have to cherish and to love.



I've noticed that poeple today have sex first before getting married, which is supposedly not be done. It is a sin. And it is still not accepted by the society. People must have sexual intercourse if they are married. But there are people that do the reverse. They have sex, and then when they get married, they stop (like what you asked).



I think these kind of people--I'm referring to the latter, need to be oriented or taught about the proper way of marriage and of course, sex. The thought that sex stops after marriage and sex before marriage should be implanted to their minds.

Answer 326

I think that people get too comfortable in the relationship once they are married. They take for granted that they are legally, and morally connected. However, I think that thinking the relationship will stand all cross roads is incorrect. This is how affairs begin. I think a married couple, or even a dating couple should always keep in mind a relationship is HARD work and as with any job, if you don't show up and do your job that you may get replaced in some form.

Answer 327

That only happens if you let it happen! If you have any questions about your partners sex drive and /or practices, you should not rush into marriage. After marriage is not a good time to explore each others sexual boundaries. Many times sexual drive is inherited and you may get a indication from relatives, especially close siblings or maternal twins. Your sexual drives should be as even as possible. If not the marriage won;t last or one of you will have to tolerate constant cheating. If you know anything about psychology, certain personality types tend to have more sex drive than others.

Answer 328

that is because for many couples sex becomes secondary in the marriage. When they were dating they were so into one another. Then life and reality steps in, and for some it gets to be overwhelming. I tell my family, "The same thing you did to get you mate, You need to do twice as much to keep them. Don't let your marriage become common, and do not make yourself common in it. When you are common, you aren't appreciated or respected nearly as much as when your mate doesn't always know what you will do next. I don't think sex should ever stop, I don't remember seeing an expariation date on it. If you can , hey, go for what you know, as often as you can go. And when you can't, hug a lot, sleep close and hold hands when out in public. In fact I think you should do this all the time.

Answer 329

When you first meet someone everything is still new & exciting and the sex is usually frequent. After some time passes, that new feeling of infatuation is replaced by a deeper love and sex may not be as important as it was. It takes some work on both people's part to keep it alive and not fall into a daily routine. Have to keep that romance alive.

Answer 330

The consensus is that sex stops, because it does, or at least it gets a lot less! To change the consensus, you need to change the reality!

Answer 331

When you are dating sex if new and fun and different when you are married it tends to be the same person the same position the same bed every thing the same, being married doesn't stop the sex; its that same old stuff different day thing that stops it. I say get some toys, play some games, talk dirty, and touch each other you can have sex with out having sex. that makes for a good sex life. spice it up some times get out of the old routine and get crazy.

Answer 332

First of all, I think the 'squeaky wheels' and stereotypes are not a majority. Marriage does take more effort than dating, because it is easy to get into a routine or let kids take over the relationship. Its easy to see the laundry and dishes instead of the excitement. I think generally when partners are equally involved in chores, child-raising, and all the tiring things, and when they communicate well and continue to flirt and court each other, then things should be fine in bed. It's fun for all of us to joke about married life taking away all the fun, but there are many of us who go home happy.

Answer 333

Sex doesnt stop when you get married and I cant imagine why people think that... I believe the best sex happens during marriage. You come to know each other so well and what the other likes and dislikes...what the other will and wont do... its a maze of trial and error but when the path is eventually found... the sex is wonderful

Answer 334

Realistically, due to stressors beyond our control (ie. work, kids, family, clubbing), we don't make as much time for sex after we land our chosen one. Maybe because, once you say 'I do.', and you know it's forever, it's not as important to get your hump on anymore. Sometimes people lose that drop everything rush to do it that we had when we were just dating instead of mating. Personally, it happened to my ex-wife. I was always ready to do it at the drop of a hat whereas she only wanted to do it every now and then. The good old, "I gotcha now, so we don't have to do it as much anymore." trick. To change this, I think people need to discuss their sex drives with their significant others BEFORE they get married, so it doesn't end up as grounds for divorce or something even as simple hurt feelings. Paying attention to your lovemaking cycle as much as making love should help with this attitude. Personally, I think it's cruel and unusual punishment to withhold sex from your mate without justification, and, I don't think its healthy for anger and arguments to follow a couple into their bed. That's one of the worst things they can let happen, believe me, I know. Hope I helped you, Jackie and if you wanna ask me anything else, hit me at, [e-mail]. And by the way, I think you're an awesome writer.



askaman

Answer 335

Sex does not stop after marriage. As a matter of a fact it just doesn't happen as much or as often as wed like because we have so many responsibilities to take care of that sex is put on the back burner. It becomes less important. And for those of you who say that its boring that is really a reflection on you. Get creative I remember a time when I thought like that then my husband asked me one morning if there was anything in bed I would like to try ,I answered him and his response was hell think about it . Now, for the rest of the day all I could think of was what is he up to. Lets just say sex hasn't been boring and actually it has increased the number of times we get together for it.

Answer 336

I know way to many people that are married that have said the same thing so I take that as a consensus. It just happens and I wish I knew why.

Answer 337

Nine times out of 10 men and women are unfaithful. That's one. The marriage was entered into without careful thought. My opinion.



How can we stop this consensus? Start treating marriage for what it is supposed to be...a holy union before God. Not some beneficial endeavor or other alterior motive.

Answer 338

I think the general concensus is that after marriage, the frequency of sex changes...but not stops. Its extremely hard work to keep the same person interested in you for any length of time married or not. Except for a small percentage, sex does become mundane and most times due to stress re: paying bills, kids, work, etc. Its important to set aside quality time with one another and to do different things to keep the spice in the sex. Marriage is hard work, and if you want to make it work, you have to work at it. I know, Ive been married for 37 years and its all good!

Answer 339

I think in order to change this way of thinking first of all married couples have to learn to budget time more wisely. Between family and careers. After 20 years of marriage and four children (only 1 out of the house) you adapt and make time. Granted the majority are just too tired from overwork, school functions and that sort of thing .....you know like they say if there is a will there is a way .....be spontaneous.......make a way.

Answer 340

Come on. Jackie, that's a male thing. Men THINK that sex 'stops' when they get married because the instinctive male reflex is to procreate with as many women as possible, to protect his particular gene line. Have you even known a man who doesn't first act instinctively in any situation? Marrying one person only is a fairly recent restriction placed on society by religion, and in your average man the reaction is to unconsciously object to the restriction by overstating it. In some cases, it turns the perception into a reality.

Answer 341

There's not much you can do to change the consensus, let the boyz have their little whine about no sex, if the truth be know their probably getting more action than now their married than when they were single and available

Answer 342

I can only speak for myself, and right now, with a wife of over 9 years and a 4 year old son, we have sex so rarely that I can count the times on one hand so far this year. I have tried to be kinder, nicer, buy flowers, cards, hold hands, romance without sex, nothing seems to change her cold attitude. I had her sit on my lap yesterday while I kissed on her neck, she just rolled her eyes and made a smart ass comment.



Based on my experience, I would have to agree with the consensus.

Answer 343

Sex doesn't stop if your marriage is truly based on love. It takes the same steps as everything that is part of the home, WORK! Marriage is like a garden, either you take care of it or you let the weeds take over. The choice is always there as to whether you want to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life or go on dreaming that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence!

Answer 344

It must be due to the frame of mind that some look at or go about sex with a potential mate !?! Ex; When you're single I guess sex just seems more fun or adventurous!?! Because in a big way it's "NO HOLDS BARRED" !! if you know what I mean lol There`fore during sex with someone that not a SPOUSE.. you can keep trying to master the OVER THE SHOULDER BOULDER HOLDER in bed !?! ha`.h`a" if you know what I mean .. basically anything wild & or Naughty!?!., But when you're married ofcourse the feeling must be that popular "I probably should'nt do this to him/her !?! we may fight over this later?! One of us could get hurt !?! Or I just should'nt do this to my spouse !! he/she may not like it !! & or we are too OLD for that now !?! (etc) !?! So the desire might die down some over time !?! "R"r`r,r,'->

Answer 345

I've been married for 5 years to my husband and before that we dated for 5 years so that 10 years together and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont want to jump his bones, we even have 2 smalls kids and I can say that the sex didnt stop - it got way better!!!! We are trying new things all the time and loving it :)

Answer 346

Good answers above and I agree with them all. But lets think outside of the box on this one.



How about...



Single people are jealous of the great sex married people are having and have started this rumor because they are shallow and jealous.



Well maybe not...



So how about this...



Married sex is bad so why not get divorced and start having good sex with your ex spouse?



That's all crazy talk.



Sex stops when you get married? No! It changes though. It changes into something more passionate more meaningful and more emotional. Of course this is true. Why? Think about it. You have had more opportunity to practice and learn what your partner likes and this is going to heighten the experience.

Answer 347

Perhaps change the way movies and everything else portrays marriage. There doesn't seem to be a very good view of marriage on any level. Change it up, People get so upset at my marriage because we are close........people hate that, we have secret things between us LOL. People ask us questions, like how long have you been together, are you two always like this......it's fun. Movies define sex with a married partner ALWAYS GONE & BORING. TV & TALK SHOWS show marriage barren in every aspect.

Answer 348

Usually the man stops being romantic. This leads to the woman not bothering to make an effort. Somehow they end up pregnant and both get tired exhausted and most likely abit overweight. Then add the differences of opinion on everything, subtract quality time together, and you are left with just wanting to get some sleep. No wonder men turn to internet porn and women get by with romance novels and gardening.

Answer 349

Dear Ms Collins,

unfortunately this is what happens but i beleive that its up to the individuals on how you and your approach towards such matters are, because when you say sex dies are we talking in marriages or in general, well in marriages one has to work at it because you could easily end up being gerneralised, sex is an art, you have to use you creative side to ensure that its something that both of you enjoy, unfortunately some dont and other just love it but i do believe that by you treating sex in such a manner that sensuality would intice any individual..thus eliminating such opinions..hope this helps you

Answer 350

I'm getting married next year. And I just really don't see the sex stopping. I personally am looking forward to being able to have sex just about every day. Maybe its just certain couples. From some couples I know, the women feels like she has to spread it out so that he doesn't get tired of her. But I think If you doing it right he won't get tired. Then there is the type of man who feels a married women isn't sexy. That they are a wife and a mother now and that's how they should be treated. So the sex is limited to special occasions. And they get mistresses. My husband doesn't have to worry about that. It gets better and better every time we are together. Just because your married doesn't mean that the fire has gone out or that it will go out. You both have to be on the same page. Or just freaks. Like me and my fiance. There is NO ONE better than him to me and there is NO ONE better than me to him.

Answer 351

Well you are talking to someone who spent 5 years with her boyfriend before getting married, and we have 17 years together, so that will be 22 years living with the same person and sleeping with the same one!!! and still I have an active sex life and we have grown together intimate....so that opinion does not work in my case at all !!!

But, for what I see, is that some people love the danger in sex, the feeling of doing something hidden because its not right or appropriate...or to have one night stand because it gives them energy or power....I really don´t know, but is true that when you get married, you can bring emotions to your sex life but you feel more relax, secure with your couple... and maybe that does not work for them...

Answer 352

Sometimes life gets in the way, and Sex is the furthest thing from the mind. It doesn't stop per sae but it does seem to be less and less. Due to growth. Marriage is more than a good night in bed. It is good when you can be together, and communicate. It all a matter of finding an equal medium to satisy both participants.

Answer 353

I guess in every marriage, there is this big issue, 'FINANCIAL '. You hate your husband for not supporting you financially enough. And that leads to 'cold' feeling (even hatred), even one party with high sex drive does not excite the other. On the other hand, a rich husband with alot of admirers also does the same, jealousy, hurt and hatred. To change the consensus? Get a 'perfect' husband. Sorry, its difficult. Being married for 36yrs, still tolerating.

Answer 354

It doesn't necessarily stop when you get married but when you have kids and you start getting into a routine it gets put on the back burner. After a hard day of work it is thought of like this "Ok, It is 10:00 and I have to get up at 6:00. Do I want to miss out on 2 hours of potential sleep for sex?" It just then gets to be a habit of rolling over and falling asleep. It is not that we are not attracted to our spouse it is just that we are tired.

Answer 355

I think loyalty comes into play for married couples, the bragging stops.

When we are "dating" it's OK to tell all, but when the wedding band goes on so does the lip zipper. How about the old adage " if he brags about doing it, he probably isn't"?

I don't think there is much anyone could do to change the consensus.

Answer 356

What about those who have waited until their wedding night to have sex? There would then be nothing to stop if you haven't even started, right? Now, as for having sex once married...I believe married couples can have great and fulfilling sex as often as they want. I don't think marriage is a deterrent to bedroom fun. In fact, being married to the person you love is what should spark sexual excitement and a craving for intimacy with that person.

Answer 357

Not a clue, Jackie...........it should get better with time, like a fine wine.

Never stop surprises, the unexpected, the affection.........

You can't change the consensus..........only revel in the beauty of wonderful sex in marriage if you are one of the lucky ones.

Answer 358

It's not a consensus that sex stops after marriage. For some, it's just the beginning.

Answer 359

You know the old saying,"Why take the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" Well, after all the milk is gone, who wants the cow? All the sex was done before the marriage, so all that's left is the bills and not enough money too pay them. So why give up the sex if the man can't take care of what he is supposed too.

Answer 360

There is no one answer to that question. The explanation could run into dozens of solutions, but I believe that it's because the new is worn out and then the steady takes over, if the couples are still attracted to each other. If there is still true love, the relationship will survive. However, it's a known fact that you can't change human nature. It has to change it's self.

Answer 361

My answer has been not to get married, I have been with my significant other for over 11 years and the sex is definitely better than ever, we have a very good relationship and are older so I guess all of the hang ups we might have had when we were younger are gone. He has been married twice and I have never been married, and never wanted to be marred.

Answer 362

In my opinion, it's a mix of poor communication, overwhelming responsibilities (at times) and the tendancy of partners to take each other for granted once the newness wears off.



It doesn't have to stop, but it's not easy to keep things going. It takes work, which is something not a lot of people want to associate with sex or romance. However, without the effort, it will become a mundane thing.



Just my opinion.



PS: You rock. :)

Answer 363

It is a psychological issue which affects both men and women. The idea of "being" with the same person for the rest of your life eliminates some of the excitement in life which stem from the "unknown". I know as a single man I get turned on when I date a woman who is new to me. She has new wants, desires, and sexual needs that I will find out about as time goes on. Once marriage is set in stone, I have felt as if all that new excitement was taken away and was replaced with the same ol', same ol' routine. In other words there is nothing sensual about knowing your sexual routine down to the minute.

Answer 364

I have been with a man for 4 years and we are not married. The sex stopped after he went to work full time. He works outside and is always tired from the weather and stuff. If it becomes less than once a week after marriage, I will scream.

Answer 365

It's just the brunt of all jokes; you get married, life ends and no sex! Too bad because a lot of young people hear this and just assume it's true. "Oh, no; I am never getting married! I love sex too much!" We as married people need to enforce the fact that you can keep sex alive in your marriage. Too many novels and movies show the majority of marriages falling into affairs for answers. We need to change the image that when marriage dulls, there are ways to bring it back alive! We read all the articles; we just need to act on them. Keep writing! Everyone loves you!

Answer 366

BEcause its true. sex really stops after you get married. and i wont blame it on the kids or the tired, over worked wife, or the stressful husband. i will blame it on the media. the media potrays wedding as "happily ever after". but it is far from the truth. marriage not only consists of sex and romantic walks and poetry reading...it includes your nosey mother-in=law, daily chores, dirty diapers, late night feeds. before marriage couples donot face the world. they live in a world of love and romance. but after marriage they enter the real life and honeymoon is definately over. couples dont see that when you marry someone, you marry his or her parents, his or her famly ,their weird cultural background, their strange family rituals. so, when they get back to realty, they get shell shocked and thus the seperation occurs. they cannot "take" the real life thus stress occurs. this leads to anger and frustration. and we all know, that cannot lead to sex. the only thing can be done is prior understanding. couples entering a life of union should have a couple's therapy before they marry. i think that will help them to achieve greater understanding of eachother. they should know that sex is not that important but love s, care is. being together and facing the world is the most important thing.also there should be reality shows of "real couples"going through everyday lives and how to tackle the stress. then only will the awareness of mutual understanding will begin, only then slowly the consensus will change.

Answer 367

Ask more happily married people and are having lots of great sex, I myself have been with my husband for 15 years and we have sex almost everyday, sometimes we skip a day or two b/c he works 12 hours but we make up for missed days big time the next day. So sex did not stop for me and it does not have to stop for anyone else, you have to keep having fun and doing things together. After 15 years we have toys, we watch xxx rated movies, we just try new things and it really makes sex still interesting after so much time with same person.

Answer 368

It's depends in person to person. How much you can enjoy after being married and how you are treating your partner. Neither Marriage is not a sex nor Sex is a marriage. Sex has to be from both the partner. May be now a days work pressure is so much that one can't able to think about sex after days of work. Still it can be work out with mutual consent.

Answer 369

Behave always like a friend and do the things which were done before marriage. This will change that sort of consensus.

Answer 370

People say that when you get married, sex stops. True, but the reason and the solution are the same. That is to wait until you are married to have sex. I think that everybody always has sex b4 getting married and its not just one time, so when they do get married and then sex is nothing new, but getting to know the things about the person that are not so unattractive are new, then sex is not such an appealing thing.

Answer 371

It seems that this consensus is something that is inherent in the human specie. It is no longer strange and exciting and the male insists on new fields/areas to conquer, another of the same vintage. The female assesses the frontier she has reached and notes disinterest, searches for something more interesting and forges ahead, regardless the path.

Answer 372

I believe it is true that when two people gets married sex does stop or lessen in frequency. I think a majority of married people go through this issue and therefore that is why we have such a high consenus on this subject. It could stems for various reasons such stresses, dynamics of the relationship changed, etc.



not sure if this consenus can change especially in this technology based world.

Answer 373

Marriage and sex. Marriage is what you make of it. Do you have to work on yourself to go out on a date? I hope your answer is yes. Do you have to wash your hair so it doesn't look oily and nasty? I really hope you answered that yes.

Same thing with sex and marriage, you have to put your mind and effort into making it better and more interesting. Put an effort in to make each other feel better about the relationship that you share. If no effort is made your hair, your fashion sense and your sex life will deteriorate. Don't start wearing jogging pants, ponytails, sneakers, and not fixing yourself up, make the effort to keep each other interested in what you are about, a life time commitment.

BTW, sex stops only if you both want it to.

Answer 374

Have sex education classes for married couples, consisting of ways to keep the spark in your life... Sad to say the consensus are true for the most part.. Married couples are so consumed with other life issues they do not take the time to keep their marriage alive...

Answer 375

"I think that whhat people actually mean is that the sex stops being exciting, fun etc. People stop doing the kind of things they use to do to get ready for a night of sex when they were single. Plus sex is always there so it slows down and loses ut`s appeal if neither of the partners are doing anything to keep it exciting. Therefore it seems as sex stops when you get married."



I'd have to agree with mythoughts. It's challenging to keep the sex life rolling. Sex is sex, but fun sex is even better.

Answer 376

well there is a little truth to it. Once you are married the focus seems to switch to the next part of your life . Kids, a house, a bigger house cars etc. I think some how once the challenge of getting a spouse is behind us we look for new challenges. (what new stuff we can get), But I do agree the real challenge is to stay married and sex would go a long way to help that become a realallity

Answer 377

I have been married for 11 years and the sex is only getting better.



I think that people feel with work, a home, a family and other commitments when do they have time for each other.



We make time for each other. The quantity may not be the same but the quality makes up for it.

Answer 378

It slows down. Life happens and other things get in the way. Usually when you are single, the adventure is still there and you really don't have to care about your partner, like in marriage. The commitment is not there. But when the ring goes on, then you have to think about another person and a whole lot of factors come into play.

Answer 379

Well, if you wait til marriage to have sex, you obviously don't know what your getting. Right? I don't believe sex stops after marriage. I've been married for 3 yrs. And I still can't get enough. I think It stops when the person sucks. I'd give up too if I couldn't be pleased. If people are willing to be better lovers, sex would never stop.

Answer 380

Sex should not end when one gets married, marriage brings people together and not otherwise.

People should look at having some time to themselves as well as lots of time together, keep their beauty updated, we all know that old age kicks in - in due course, that is a great part of change that we should embrace and keep beautiful, we can be old and still beautiful.

This will keep our partners challenged and add variety to the relationship, variety is never bored, therefore the sex will forever be green :)

Answer 381

We should get happily matried peopleto answer the question and get a new consensus. However happily married people generally don't spend much time chatting on the internet. In other words the consensus is probably skewd.

Answer 382

If I ever get married I'm gonna give my husband a warning that every ones in a while his gonna have a different girl. wait ,when I say that I mean I'm going to use costumes like the french made, the stripper, the women Zorro a Moroccan girl. New relationships are exiting and you have to keep the sparkle in it and I think you should do this every women should after they married you have to bring excitement.

your husband might be a bit shy but tell him that's what you want what's up? but in reality that's what he wants. Watch how romance come into your life all over again...;)

Answer 383

I think there is an underlying attitude that once you have "caught" your mate, that you are done and can relax. Too many fall into a rut and don't try as hard. Women tend to forget that men love the chase and sort of drape themselves over their husband instead of continuing to keep a bit of mystery and a bit of coyness encouraging him, and mesmerizing him like they did while courting.



I think that many women have had to bite and scratch to get where they are in their career that often a spirit of competition wells up in their relationships. The basic concepts of male/female qualities are still there but many of us have lost the ability to use the strengths femininity offers. Education into the difference in the genders is the answer.

Answer 384

I'm 43 and I've never been married. Thank goodness for that! Married people should perhaps retain an air of mystery with each other. I love the idea of separate bedrooms and a husband coming to pay a visit on his wife. Children should be banned from the bedroom, of course.

Answer 385

sex sex sex it starts a lot of relationships its so new its hot and exciting thinking that no other can make them feel like that so they take the plunge of relationship and after all the heat is gone and we see each other in every season we realize i cant stand this person he or she absolutely makes their skin crawl and if we as people would take the time to date and seed out the good and bad way options opinions finances responsibilities then decide whether or not to have sex before relationships i believe sex would last longer and i believe premarital sex messes up everything because we think that i can get some without commitment and after they have spent all of their love nectar( men) and (women) have messed up their plumbing and then its time to meet that special person, everything is messed up i believe that if you get to know a person the real person and not sex first and then fall in love then sex will last to the end whether penetration masturbation mental stimulation compassion talking erotically even when your old and Grey all these techniques will work if you truly know someone and you are friends and beyond love you care about each other the SEX will last

Answer 386

I think it has to do with the familiarity. I mean, if I'm dating someone and there aren't many times for us to be together, we're going to screw around like we're never going to see each other again! It's the same reason that I never go to Disneyland, even though I live in Southern California. I know Disneyland will always be there, so I have no urgent needs to get on those E-ticket rides. If I lived in Oklahoma, I might visit Disneyland more often, because I wouldn't know when I could partake of its fun once again.



And then, of course, you get stuck in a total rut. If I like variety but my husband likes things very "missionary" then there will be a problem.



Marriage is a very complicated mine field. I think agreements and compromises need to be made continually in order for things to function properly.

Answer 387

Who gives a F**KING crap about the consensus stop living through things like that. In the big picture of life it doesn't matter. Smart people will live their life the way they choose and not pay attention to the damn consensus.

Answer 388

When you get married the sex only stops if you let it. The thing about being married is that you and your spouse get comfortable with each other. that said, sex can become mundane and almost boring, if you allow it.



Married sex can be very exciting as long as you and your spouse are willing. There is role playing, new positions, the introduction of toys and any other number of ways to keep the sex exciting. There is one thing about married sex that is desperately lacking in single sex - trust. The trust that you should have with your spouse will allow you to explore sexual avenues that will never be opened when you are single.

Answer 389

becuase that is a true statement, not opinion, for many people



people gain weight, get saggy, change world views, and forget that love takes work....lust does not. We have been married for 10 years and we don't look like we did 17 years ago when we started seeing each other. People should date for 5 years before getting married because true love is not there in a matter of months...that is lust and infatuation.

Husbands and wives have to work at transforming their lust into lifelong love......it is not easy! Forgive and FORGET is the best advice and remember your vows every day. Everyday I tell myself it takes more of a man to be faithful and loving than to be a cheater and sex-hound!

Answer 390

I'm not sure where that BS comes from! I have been married for 17 years.....that is a pretty long time! Our sex life just keeps getting better and better, not less and less! We need to have our own consensus. Hopefully the answers you get will start one!

Answer 391

For what its worth in my dealings sex does not stop but it does slow. I will use myself as an example. When me and my wife started dating we made love roughly 2 or 3 times a day. After a few years of marriage it slowed to daily. After three kids, all running around like insane escaped inmate 15 yrs later and dual careers it has slowed to 1 or 2 times a week. It has nothing to do with appetite. I still think about it all the time (and according to my wife she does as well). What happens is life. When we are young we have little to no responsibility to weigh us down. As we get older the stresses in life can just flat out wear you out. When I get home from work at night I help with dinner, cleaning, baseball games, getting kids ready for bed and by that time who wants anything else than to lay down and sleep. I think the slowing of the sex life has less to do with marriage and more to do with responsibilities.

Answer 392

I don't think it stops, but does the rate definitely goes down. I think it's because as people age, they just don't want it as much. They are tired, have too much going on, etc. It's a shame but does happen. I also believe that when the kids are raised, and responsibilities are fewer, they re-find themselves, and the rate goes back up. At least that's what happened to us. BTW, we had 5 children are were very busy with their extra curricular activities, our own responsibilities, aging parents and so on. We're still not where we were when we first got married 30 years ago, but we're happy, and each others best friends.

Answer 393

You don't have to get married for the sex to stop. When couples are together for a long time sex slows down. Not so much because you are not attracted to one another, but because it's comes with growing older. But on a lighter note, do you know the name of the food that makes women stop having sex?

It's called "wedding cake" just kidding...

Answer 394

Many times it does, however, for a lucky few of us, sex gets better as we are less inhibited and more open about what we desire. My wife and I have been married for 35 yrs. and about the time it starts getting dull or routine, one or the other breaks out something else. Our sex life, as our relationship has developed and grown into a satisfying fluid experience that just keeps getting better with age like fine wine.

People need to know that a healthy relationship includes compromise, understanding of the differences of males and females, knowing the individual and good passionate, frequent sex

Answer 395

Hi Jackie, I am a huge fan of yours. I believe that a lot of people think the excitement is in the chase. Once he/she has caught what they are chasing then they lose some of the excitement. Alot of people also believe that marriage is something that should come naturally and not realise until it is too late that it is something that needs to be worked on by both parties and something that requires give and take if it has any chance of working. I am happily married to my husband for 20 years this year and could not imagine my life with out him in it every day. Love your work, Cherie

Answer 396

It has not stopped with my wife. She has never made herself un availible for me unless sick. I may even have to go get some little blue pills to help me thru.



I suppose once the fish is caught then those things we worked hardest at we start relaxing at because we have what we want. I think for a woman she wants security, respect, love and to feel she is themost important person in their life.

The man finds it hard to settle down especially when getting older and his eyes may wonder and think my wife used to look like that. That may lead to a dissatisfied sex life.

We as a couple have gone thru a lot and have been able to answer a lot of those questions to ouselves.

Answer 397

Sex doesn't stop but that wild, passionate sex sometimes stop because couples get used to each other. You have to continue to date and do things just like you did when you were dating. Get dressed to go out,Meet up at places., and continue to work for the person as you did before you were married or the sex life will go stale. Also, do not do everything before you get married because you tend to run out of things to do (sexually) and will become bored.

Answer 398

When couples get comfortable in their relationships they forget that good sex was one of the things that they liked about each other and tend to think it's no longer important since they share most everything else. To change the theory that marriage means no sex, couples need to be creative when it comes to sex and be thorough with foreplay and remember to explore by acting on their sexual fantasies. This will definitely promote frequent sex whenever a fantasy is fulfilled.

Answer 399

My husband and I have been married 34 years. Our sex life is alive and thriving!! We went thru a dry patch around the 7th year...hmmmm Anyway we decided to tell each other if we found something hot, or if we found something boring...And it has never been boring or just a function again.

We have done light S&M light Bondage, Crossdressing, Role playing and anything else we can think of...There is alot to do if ya want to have a healthy loving relationship..

But I also think it starts outside the bedroom.. He and I respect and genuinely love each other out in the world too.. If we didn't , we wouldn't be able to even fake our love anywhere.

Luka

Answer 400

For us the sex really slowed to a stall after children were here, the after 15 to 16 yrs is basically stopped, after 23 yrs it's "Husband get you hands off me you jerk, all you want to do is have sex" even though we only did it a few times a year. So I will have to say, there must be something in wedding cake that starts a hormonal breakdown and the "wedding cake poison" kills sex. For the record, I still want to do it often, she stopped it ALL without my consent. As soon as the children are raised she will be single again!

Answer 401

I have heard this all my life, and I simply can't believe how many couples have actually told me it was true!



I don't know....I had a marriage that we were often apart for days, weeks, even months....guess that's why our sex life was so good when together, LOL....I haven't had another marriage to compare it to, so, don't know if it would have dulled if we had been together without seperations.....



How to end the consensus? LOL....guess we all have to stop the "kiss and tell" habit we have....or, in this case, maybe it should be "no kiss" and tell?

Answer 402

The best way to change that consensus is to keep on having sex. Every little bit helps.

Answer 403

To disprove the consensus that when you get married, sex stop. its not true the census that show more playfull hottest than ever, so Jackie Collens keep the sex alive there is more sex addiction after married,

Answer 404

Well, I guess it gets boring to some people because they lose their imagination. Me myself I would have a new trick or game every night. Try use different positions as often as possible. Use toys on each other. Roll playing is a great idea. Also, use different type of oils, toppings that are edible and lubricants to spice it up. There are no limits to sex especially when you're married because then you can try all of your fantasies and not have to worry about harmful ST D's.

Answer 405

Jackie:

You of all people should know, that it does not stop, it only ceases when you or the partner stop making it a priority! Take the time, to woo him/her, and act as if you are not married, then the sex only becomes better. At least you can have an orgasm when you want, if you ask for it! Nicely true, but asking gets alot!

Answer 406

Impossible to change because women have sex with men to get married, and men get married to have sex.



There is really no need to have sex anymore, she already has him. Therefore men, still wanting sex, will find another woman. And so the cycle begins.



Every woman (like the ones that answered before me) swear they have lots of the sex after they get married, but I garuntee that if you ask that question to their husband you will get a different answer.



Of course, a woman will say she does, but they have never had a third party ask their husbands that same question.

Answer 407

I think when you get married its when you have more sex than ever, at least the first couple of years or until the kids come. After that things usually slow down a bit, but i think that is the case in all long term relationships, married or not.

Answer 408

I don't see where this comes from, Sex doesnt stop when you get married, I have been married for 10 years I have 4 kids and, a healthly sex life, not boring, at all.. peoples opinions of marriage and sex are usually by people that arent married so they dont count..

Answer 409

consensus of opinion means in a lot of cases that people dont have to think but answer with a preprogrammed anwser.

If you want to change that behaviour, you have to leanr people think again. Asking questions. That is not popular certainly not among politicians, detergent makers, or candysellers. In your system they pay for Radio, TV and papers (by advertising). So dont expect them to help you.

Maybe start glueing flyers all over the country??

Answer 410

I've been married once before and i'm 8 years into my second marriage and i have to dissagree with ANYONE that feels that sex in a marriage is lame!! There is no greater sexual experience than that of when you become one with that person and you know EVERYTHING they like and don't!!! Gosh if you want to make it last for hours or even days you know how! If you wanna cut it short you KNOW their G spot you can find satisfy and fullfill EVERYTHING!! The greatest orgasm between a couple is a married one!! Nothing like being sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally satisfied!!!!!!!! Try THAT in a just met relationship!!!

Answer 411

I think it's because people just give themselves away before they're married. If you get married & you've slept with half the city of course it's not going to be so exciting...because you've brought all this extra baggage with you. My husband & I have been married for 8 years, both of us were virgins & the sex is always good and it happens very often...yes, after 8 years! We didn't bring on any extra baggage & therefore don't know if we had it any better or worse with anyone else. We just know we've got it VERY good with each other. ♥

Answer 412

A consensus is unanimous agreement on something. I don't think even a majority of married people would agree. Married people don't stop having sex, they just stop talking about it outside of the marriage.

Answer 413

True story here! A small town doctor told me he had a couple come in for one reason- It wasn't their health--They were both in their eighties and still enjoying sex, three times a week. They wondered if they were normal! The doctor really got a kick out them! Sorry I never asked the doctor what he told them!

Married people know it doesn't stop! It's more like an old joke saying of sorts!

Answer 414

Who ever told you that is either a complete liar or really sick. I was married to the same man for 30 years and enjoyed a very active, happy sex life. True, after the first ten years we slowed a bit to maybe once or twice a night and eventually to maybe 3 or 4 times a week, but my goodness quality has a lot to say for itself!!

Answer 415

It isnt that it stops "when you get married". I think you become too "familiar" and comfortable with each other. Certainly in my marriage, it slowed down with the arrival of children, and not because of "pain" etc, or tiredness (as I did most of the getting up, and ALL of the housework).



It got to the point where even though I had tried to discuss the fact that I wasn't happy with our sex-life, it didn't make any difference.

So I have left, I have a new life-partner and my kids want to come with me... life just keeps getting better when you dont stay in the ruts we create for ourselves.

Answer 416

Oh, it is easy! When people marry there is so much to do.

New digs, decor, jobs, families, babies, more families, continuing career, church, etc. etc. etc.

It is easy to bob till you drop.....deep into sleep.

I think all people need to realize that young people need more time for their families. Be thankful for whatever time they have to share. Lately I have heard from older retired family members how the younger family members have no time for them. I tried to explain, they have alot on their plate! Both parents work with two kids, and they are doing a super-fantastic job of it!

If older parents want to make a big deal with their grandkids, write to them. Even if they do not write back, tell them who you are. Tell them something about your life at their age. Ask them what they think. When I was a kid I got little to nothing in the mail. Send off for free things for them, (see any of Matthew Lesko's books). Buy a bookmark or some other little something, and send it to them.

Even if they live a few blocks away, it is great to have mail!

Answer 417

I think you just need to find the time for each other. Most married ppl feel that they are over making impressions and spicy hot sex but the truth is I think if more married couples had a great sex life there would be less divorce.

Answer 418

I never heard of that consensus before. I've been married for almost 24 years and sex has never stopped for us! I guess when you're first married with babies to tend to, the wife might be a little too tired for sex, but, it shouldn't stop. If my sex life stopped.......I'd be gone!

Answer 419

I think that this is just a myth. I really believe that if two people are truly in love, the sex should be even better than before marriage. Of course, its going to be more difficult to find the time for it due to the stress of careers and kids, and everything else thats going wrong in the world; but there should always be time for sex.

Answer 420

Wow Jackie. You look fab!



The consensus is based on a self-fulfilling prophesy. Most people believe that it is inevitable and therefore it happens. Like anything that is worth having in life you need to believe that you can make it happen that you have to go about doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

Answer 421

1) The legally binding contractual arrangement that is marriage has a distnctive business feel to it, that which is cold, indifferent and heartless, especially in divorce. In fearing divorce, people become overcautious about what could offend or upset the one they love, and this lack of stimulus leads to mundanity and boredum.



2) Human beings, like all life, are beings that are by definition constantly in a process of re-creation, which is to say recreational. Even on a cellular level, the unwillingness to die and be replaced by new cells is called cancer. Likewise, our fear of changing our life conditions and circumstances, such as our partner, leads to a psychological "cancer" called habit, taking those you love for granted. This is often resented, which leads to frustration, which leads to anger, which leads to hatred which leads to suffering, which leads to either divorce or death.



3) The world's media is geared to provide shock and awe, because it gets a viewers attention, which boosts ratings. No-one is shocked by the happy family image, so it is rarely reported that a couple noone has ever heard of are living a happy, healthy life, and when it is its not registered in the minds of viewers as worth remembering. Shock and awe however, like a couple who haven't had sex in 30 years despite everything being fully functional, registers in the mind of the viewer, and the story reaches more viewers by more mediums because it sells. So more people are being given a snapshot of what it means to be in a relationship from the slanted perspective of what is shocking, which is repeated over and over reaffirming it as normal.



There are other reasons, that's just what I could get of the top of my head.



So what can be done? Well, first I think we should determine whether the situation is undesireable. Think about this: If popular opinion of marriage is that sex stops, then less non-religious people will get married, which puts more pressure on religions and governments to change what marriage means, and change will occur directly proportionate to the critical mass of the will of the people. A redefinition of marriage will have a defaulting side effect of changing the consensus, although it may not be in the way that you personally desire. Until then, perhaps I can suggest that couples who are married and want to reignite their love life become divorced in a ceremony just as glamorous as their marriage, not to separate, but to come closer together without the business arrangement, in defiance of popular opinion of what divorce means, and perhaps bring some positive shock and awe to the media in the process: A story of love by, in and through divorce. Can you imagine?

Answer 422

When you get married, sex doesnt stop, it gets lesser week by week and only for one reason - You start comparing your partner with others. There is too much of garbage around us these days. Even if you have been clean all your life, those small stains would come out of nowhere and strike your super white image. Also, another trans-factor would be stress... stress and sex dont go together.... Havent we heard of couples going out on honeymoons every 6 months - 1 year? The acyronym of Stress for me is Sex....

Answer 423

I was married for six years, and the sex was frequent and always great. Even for a short while after the divorce..

I have no idea where that concensus came from or who they asked. Maybe its a case of the power of suggestion. I had never heard or thought that sex stopped or became less exciting, and after two babies and little sleep and lots of chores/work, we always found the time and the desire. Unfortunately, that was all we really had..

Answer 424

I think that the longer a relationship lasts the longer the couple needs to work to keep sex new.

If they are left to the same old thing every time it grows old and just another detail to manage.

Try new places, new positions, new flirtations. Create different atmospheres to be in-twined in. Maybe a new toy or just a new outfit. try some boots, crotchless panties. All of these can be fairly cheep and a definite spark to the old sex theme.

Answer 425

I've never had that problem but I really do know a lot of couples that have. Although my personal experiences only allow me to speak from a 5 yr relationship. Our sex life only improved since people become more comforable with themselves and their significant other as time goes on. You learn what the other person likes and aren't afraid of trying new and interesting things together. It is great to no longer worry about, "I wonder what my belly and butt look like in that position?"

Answer 426

i think it is up to each other ti keep the sex interesting. Yes we get into our jobs, the kids, the practice, the hum drum routine of life. I have been married for 4 years, and the sex is still great. we are both always willing to try new things. We are both open with each other, as far our wants, needs, fantasies, etc. That is important in a relationship, we are not mind readers, and men are just as hard to figure out as women. so if you have that open line of communication, it is easier to know what makes your partner happy.

Answer 427

NO marriage makes the sex better! By knowing the person better, you can let your guard down and really be yourself- the key is to talk- talk about what turns you on- just talk about everything! Send dirty little text messages and emails- notes in a lunchbox- take a weekend, find a hotel(whatever you can afford, get a bottle of tequila, and just HAVE FUN! It isn't easy, but it can be done! Trust me- happily married and the sex is AWESOME!

Answer 428

As you know that men when get married they **** first two to three weeks after that they are lolo become used to say not that enjoying things like there were first two night



when men comes try to scud use them by where short and sexy dress or you can give time by succking there lolo make feel

so they would never go any where

try make there mode ******* them in

different ways



talk them about you need and your patner aur he his haveing

errartions by see the any women in offices or outside any where find out



try do this

you find good results



make your life full of joy and fun with your hsbund

good fun night and day

Answer 429

I think that is the general consensus because for many people, that is the reality. To change it? Stay married and have lots of good sex...

Answer 430

People believing that sex stops after you get married seems to be handed down from generation to generation in my opinion. I remember my mom saying before i got married (17 years ago) that women don't enjoy sex but they do it for there husband and there marriage, but know you hear how women like it as much as men so maybe just putting it out there for people to hear , that sex doesn't end after you get married will make a difference.

Answer 431

Normally its the attitide of the people which brings about this change that you are referring to. If you stop taking the other person for granted and still keep on the best in your appearance and feelings for him the sex wont stop but increase. Keep yourself trying to look your best . you heard the proveb " grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

So as long you keep your approach and outllok green there shoud be no reason for stopping of sex or love in your married life. It should not be monotonous.

Answer 432

Have more Jackie Collins's in the world

Answer 433

After giving birth to my 3rd son in 16 years, I don't think it's so much as a problem having sex. I love having sex with my husband, but for me, it's more a matter of not feeling like having sex all the time. Heck I'm still sore from my last birth, in fact still bleeding, I want to have sex with my husband all the time, it's just I don't feel all too sexy with the blood and all, and usually when I do, he says "Oh baby, not right now, I'm too tired!"

Answer 434

Don't stop having sex. People get comfortable and they forget how it was in the beginning of the relationship. it was exciting ect... People have to keep the love a live, Keep the fire lit sorta speak. Don't take one another for grantite. Everyone has such a busy life and put everything before eachother. Its a job keeping a marriage happy and exciting. But we can do it if we want to.

Answer 435

Consensus?? I really started enjoying sex only after marriage! How can you be so gullible as to look at consensus opinions of people who dont have wisdom?

Answer 436

In my case, it was when the sex began! I was a virgin and so was my husband. We learned together, and we never have insecurities because we don't compare each other to anyone else. I think if people would just treat sex as a sacred, special thing, reserved only for marriage, the situation you describe would not happen as often. Sex was meant to be a beautiful expression of love between one man and one woman.

Answer 437

I'd have to say that the longer you've been married you just stop bragging about sex. I've been married almost 14 years and the sex just keeps getting better. It could also be that as you get older you realize that what happens in a marital bed is private and you keep it that way.

Answer 438

In my opinion, Sex, never stops, it only gets better with the couple who Love each other a lot, and would never stop loving, or making Love to each other. Believe me, I know since I can be an expert in that department, I have been Married for almost 49 yrs.

Answer 439

True.



The best birth control ever invented, the wedding cake.



First sex slows down, then gradually she becomes a two timer, once in the spring and once in the fall.



Next your water bed becomes the Dead Sea.



I have no idea how to change this consensus. If you find out let me know.

Answer 440

I am female, I have been married for 13 years and I want sex, morning, noon and night. Maybe that is because I am denied it that I want it all the time. I've not had sex for 7 years because my husband can't get a hard on. Well that's not strictly true, he can mastubate and get turned on by porn and hearing women at work talking about their sex lives, but he can't get turned on with me. I am slim, pretty, pert, we have no children, I will do anything in the bedroom. But apparently that's not enough. What is with men??

Answer 441

By and large u will read similar answers to your question!!But this is not your question!!In fact after marriage husband and wife take each other for granted---AND that is the cause!! I suggest the following--

For wife--

Dress up well when he comes home!!

don't start cribbing and make him listen what all u went into through out the day--Give him some time to relax!

Try to keep smiling and offer him something to eat of his choice

Ask him abt. how his day was--Arrange a hot bath for him

Prove him that u r a money saver and not money spender

Try to be fresh in the bed

Do exercise to keep yourself fit and smart

For husbands-

Keep on giving her surprise gifts

never take yr. wife for granted

After office give her a helping hand

go out as frequently as possible

Try to go on vacation sometime leaving kids with grand ma--OR where ever possible

Don't loose manners whoever old yr. marriage become!!

Make her a surprise dinner sometime---

And u will see that this statement will change!!!

Answer 442

Life begins and sex slows down, it's hard to be in the mood when hubby works 12 hours a day 6 days a week and wife is holding down a part time job and 5 kids. How sexy is all that?

Answer 443

Stop treating marriage as such a thing of love. The ultimate display of love is not a legal contract. It's just love. Mari age is a way to get some benefits from the government. People should start thinking of marriage as a technicality and love as the main deal.

Answer 444

The sex stops because the women feel like the guy was getting all the sex he wanted while they were dating and was afraid to lose him. Now that they're married the female feels like they control how much sex the guy can get and doesn't have to worry about losing him because they know that the guy doesn't want to go through the with all the paperwork and drama that comes with divorce!

Answer 445

The foreplay stops ! When you have long days at work, and children in the house and maybe a few extra family members... quickies become your sex life. Then someone gets bored with "the all you can get for now.....menu ". This is where marriages make or break. Thats the truth.

Answer 446

I think that in most cases, it's not about the sex. It is about the intimatcy that starts to dwindle with a married couple.



When I wasn't living with my husband, it was more of an intimate setting/mood when would get together for lovemaking.



But now that we see each other every day, sleep beside each other every night, it is harder to feel intimate enough to make love. We have sex, but making love happens on rare occasions.

Answer 447

My parents have been married for 61 years as of yesterday. My mother announced 10 years ago that my father could no longer get it up,,,, since he was 79 years old, before that they had sex no less than once a week! I said I was so sorry that they had not had sex on 10 years. My Mom exclaimed,, I said he could not get it up,,, I DIDN'T say he had "lock-jaw". OK that shocked me but the point,, sex doesn't ever have to stop!

Answer 448

My opinion on that subject is simply this. You only hear about people who are having issues in their marriages, no one will ever tell you about how great everything is going for them. The consensus is how you feel about a topic based upon what you've heard, not necessarily what is the truth.

Answer 449

I don't think sex stops with marriage. I think it gets better and more creative. Now children tend to put a stop on spontaneous sex, but doesn't end it. Sex is a great stress reliever. Why would you get so mad at someone that you didn't want to have sex that is crazy. Actually that is some of the best sex. .

Answer 450

I don't believe it's true. My husband & I have been married for 3 1/2 years & our love life is still as great as it was when we first met. And always will be, because we focus on each others needs. We have built an excellent foundation, and will continue to have a strong foundation, as long as we meet each others needs (not just sexually).

"We live like no other now, and we will live like no other later."



If you build a good (God)foundation with your significant other, then you will have no problem beating the statistics. We are proof, along with others out there.

Answer 451

im not sure how to stop it but i have been married just on 5 years and i can certainly live without sex but on the other hand my husband wants it at all the inappropriate times or even if we are sitting nicely on the sofa he'll suddenly say do you wanna have sex??? why??? why do we need sex i dont think i need it- its all the same- no fun- just boring- guy arrives rolls over-im tired- gee that was exciting. there should be more things in a marriage other than sex. im only 26 and over it!!!! guys need to do more for their partners instead of thinking just cos we are the wives we need to give into them. it all starts 24 hours before if your nice you might be lucky- we arent just turned on like a guy is. we need passion, love etc before getting into the mood.

Answer 452

When i had gotten married sex didnt stop it did however when she was messing with some one else

sex i feel is very healthy part of a relationship so if it has stopped then i would start looking for a good reason to why it had stopped

To get that statement to go away it would take a act of congress because to get that to stop it would be like getting a urban legend to go away

Answer 453

I have sex more now that I'm married and it's great so I have no clue about why that is the consensus. I think that people who are unhappy in their marriage think it's fun to make jokes about the sex and that's why it seems that way... if you have less sex when you're married, it might not be marriage in general, it might be THAT marriage isn't great.

Answer 454

I am married, 12 years and sex is still AWESOME, yes, we have had our differences over sex but marriage is exciting, I guess it just depends on how you choose to live it, my opinion was to wait until marriage and it seems to have worked much better than those who don't, most of my friends waited and they also have great sex lives with their wives, I think if couples strive to meet each others needs and stop thinking about themselves and their own needs this will not be a problem

Answer 455

Sorry Jackie, the sex does not stop.Talking about it with friends does.

Married people don't need to try and impress their peers with their sexual feats and braggadocio.It is a private affair.

Variety suffers heavily after many years of marriage, frequency also suffers casualties, but only death or hatred will stop the sex.

Answer 456

I personally do not find this to be true. I was married for 23 yrs, before my wife became tired of marriage and wanted a divorce. Nevertheless, our sex life was excellent for about 12 yrs, we would always find new ways to spice up or love making. There was never a problem until I believe my wife became bored with herself. Unsure of her sexiness, unsure of her looks, my opinion not being enough, she started looking for approval with other men. That is when the sex stopped for me and her, after I found out that she was cheating, I forgave her, but did not forget. Then another 11 yrs later she wanted to be free and answer to no one. Sex after marriage is truly not a problem, it is the individual.

Answer 457

When your not married, relationships are less secure so people don't know when their going to have another intimate moment compared to when you are married. So people tend to live for the moment and have more sex before marriage, as to when their married all the little problems arise that weren't thought of when just dating. Instead of sharing spontaneous moments, people get comfortable and sex seems less invigorating. That and the fact that all those little perks seem to go away now that your nagging about all the things you share, and the spouse leaving that disgusting smell in your toilet. Did you say your! its OURS! Here comes more stress and less sex.

Answer 458

Not in the Christian World. If you are full of morals, then the longer you stay together as husband and wife, the more sweeter it grows. For flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God. Sex is only for man to continue inhabiting this material world. World population always changes every 100 years for that is the most only years we can live. Try to make your own personal research and self-realization.

Answer 459

I think that it is because complancency sets in. We become too comfortable and don't try to keep the passion alive. We are married now and the dating has stopped. So have the impressions we try to leave to our partner. This isn't right by any means but this is what happens a lot of times.

Sex shouldn't stop or get to the point of it's just something to do to please our partners or ourselves. Keep the passion alive! Why did we marry in the first place? Because we love being with our partner! The love was blooming.......so we need to keep it going! But it does take two to do that......actually I think three to do that.........you, your spouse and God.

Answer 460

Don't get married!!!! Seriously, don't let work and children rule your life. Add a little spontaneity to your sex life like role playing, fantasies, and making time for just the two of you. Perhaps once a month having a mini break away from work and family, whether it be just a day away or an overnight stay. Always make time for each other at least once a day, not just in bed at night. Your spouse should be your best friend, let them do things that they want to do, don't try to control them, and enjoy each others company.

Answer 461

I feel that it is this way because for a lot of people this is in fact just what happens. Myself, I have been with my wife for 8 years and married to her for 5 of those years and have no children. Our sex life is nothing short of amazing and just keeps getting more wonderful and adventurous as we approach our 30's. Also having a partner who has the same level of sexual drive helps and to this day it is pretty much the same in frequency but of greater intensity as it was in the very start of our relationship.



I have seen a lot of my friends raise a family and go through changes as time, tiredness, work. opportunity and changed circumstances take their toll. The women I've known seem to go from feeling like girlfriends to mothers, and the guys from feeling like boyfriends to a provider. Then it does not seem to pick up again for a lot of them as these constraints ease up as it now has become the "norm". This is just how I have seen it from talking with my friends.

Answer 462

I agree with BigMama, "put it out/ twice on Sundays". You gotta give it up like a $2 hoe on payday. We may not always feel like it, and damn those kids are all cok-blockers......but it does keep the marriage close and tight. Its been 8 years, and I am not bored, but thats because the sex is good, and the brother is packin' if ya know what i mean. But I do keep hearing about these sexless marriages, going weeks, months without sex. Whats up with that?? I turn into a serious ****** when i dont get my medicine yo!!!!

Answer 463

Because either the person is stuck with having sex with the same person, over,and over again (if that's you, Jackie, then that isn't a problem)

Or,,, they know they have to sneak around to get a fresh piece of as* (once again Jackie, you shouldn't have this problem)

Answer 464

I think that the responsiblities of taking care of a household and or family is overwhelming to some and they forget why they came together in the first place. Marriage is work - just like dating...but dating you get a break when things "start to get to you" and when you are married you must work it out.



Sex can stay a big part in any marriage...but it 's up the the partneres....as I said PARTNERS!

Answer 465

Just maybe and I do mean maybe because of people like you (FICTION) that wright it that way. Iv been married @10 years and the SEX is non-stop.Oh I mean after the kids are in bed sound asleep lol

I truly believe its 50/50 some people get complacent after awhile. We keep it fresh or at least try. You of all people should know it not what ya write its what ya experince in life.

Good luck Mrs.Collins.

Iv read a few of your books. Good stuff.

Answer 466

Who says sex stops? I mean after all after marriage comes babies and we know that the cabbage patch theory is questionable. I believe sex still happens but it becomes different throughout the various stages of marriage. Life happens and people change to suit the times. Further more, can you really believe that single people are having sex as much as they claim? Perhaps the amount doesn't change at all only the tales!

Answer 467

Well, sex does stop, necessarily, but it does slow down, don't you think? During the initial stages and period of time of marriage, the honeymoon phase included lots of physical sex. Moreover, as time progresses, the relationship needs nurturing in other ways, such as emotional, financial, family, and situations which transitions the honeymoon phase into the preparation as the role of lifetime partner.

Answer 468

I think that people get into the mindset of thinking there's plenty of time for sex so they tend to put it off. Of course there are always other outside factors but I feel that this might be the main one. For example: "Oh, we can do it tomorrow....we have plenty of time now and we're married so we can do it anytime we want to"...etc. etc. As far as a solution? Couples need to realize what is going on and do something about it; be it counseling or just recapturing the intimacy on their own.

Answer 469

Speaking for myself who has been marry now going on four years it is not that sex stops it 's because you get comfortable with your mate and they tend to think that they don't have to put the romance in a relationship anymore to them it is wham-baum-thank you mam and them it become a point if your needs are not being for fulled you don't really think about it because you kids, work and other going g on in your life until someone catch your eye now it is all on you whether you act on it or try to bring the sparks back in your own relationship. Sex didn't have to end when you are marry it is up to both of you to keep it exciting even with all the extra things that is going on in your life.

Answer 470

Your question is confusing. Are you asking if there's a common belief that sex stops when you get married? I don't know if one person can give you a "consensus of opinion."

Answer 471

I honestly don't know. I was always under the impression that when people got married that it was the time to experiment and be totally uninhibited. After all, you must have had a great sexual experience to keep you both together--why should marriage change anything?



I for one would be so into wanting to keep the sexual experience totally alive. I am not one for sharing, but after you get married SEX should be greater-not depreciate!

Answer 472

Because marriage is responsibility, bills, kids and alot of work.

You are tired at the end of the day. Some spouses wait until the morning to take baths and I ain't having sex with someone who has not had a bath/shower. I don't care if he has been in the a/c all day. He needs a bath....especially if he drinks beer or smokes.

Answer 473

Alot of men stink at foreplay so it's usually left up to the women if she wants good sex or not she has to be the aggressor. Plus after a long hard (no pun intended ) day it's just too early in the morning by the time you have energy.

Answer 474

This sounds like "an old wives" tale. communication is essential in any relationship. After being married for 7 years, my wife and I would take part, having sex morning,noon,night sometimes 6 to 8 times a week.

Answer 475

Sex doesn't really stop, it's the first blush of sex that stops, you know-the unknown in a sexual way. When you have been married for a while, you already know how your someone reacts in a sexual situation, so some say it isn't exciting anymore. I have been married 22 years last Friday. The sex did stop for us, but my man is disabled. The love did not stop.

Answer 476

I don't think that getting married stops sex!!! you'd have SEX the same anyway, but more as a routine ...it just seems to be more exiting to see a person,who doesn't live with you and share the same problems as you... as the time you have together as b.friend & g.friend is very limited.. Try having sex the way you where use to when just seeing him.. in the car ,hotel, beach, on the dinning floor... but not always in bed ,when you are in your nightdress and no make up.. look sexy 4 him.. TRY .....

Answer 477

If U married because of sex so the sex will stops after marriage , it is hard 4 me 2 eat the same food everyday !

that it is why I opt 4 Islam where U can marry 4 women !

but I do not know any women who will agree to marry 4 man

it is looks nasty , isn't ?! man can eat different food . Viva man world !

Answer 478

in my opinion sometimes the sex doesn't stop because I know a few married couples and they are still having sex but then again they only been married for a few years. I think if the sex stops then there's reason for it. they just might be attarted that way anymore and when you are married there are other things to do besides sex.

Answer 479

Been married 10 years sex dos'nt stop, but does slow downafter 3 kids. I think it's because kids, and work and other schedules, make it hard for couples to have sex all the time. You have to find balance, Sex is still and will always be important, but there is more to a marriage.

Answer 480

People are too caught up in their dreams and fantasies and not enough thought is given for the present. A relationship requires commitment and hard work. It also requires an imagination to keep the spark of romance alive. Also, perhaps people choose their partners badly looking for qualities that match their favourite celebrities rather than what they would expect from a soul mate.

Answer 481

Because of the security marriage offers people become complacent. I don't think society will ever see married sex as exciting. To change this people would have to start talking and thinking about married sex in a different way. Maybe if people felt they should make sex a priority things would be different.

I think excitement is generated by new things or uncertainty. if you know your partner is going to say yes every time you instigate sex it becomes less exciting.

Married people need to become less predictable.



PS You are my favourite author I have read all your books and even taught my friend who had no interest reading to enjoy reading by reading the book Lovers and Gamblers aloud. I think you are the master at descibing a character in a

just a few sentences. Can't wait for the next one.

Answer 482

In my marriage sex didn't stop, it began to sizzle. People tend to blame "MARRIAGE" on the lack of affection, etc...it's not the marriage that did it, it's the lack of maintenance to the marriage that created a couples dry spell. I think if married couples would explore different sexual avenues such as porn movies, sexual toys, and even try sex in a public place (e.g. park in Wal-Mart parking lot at night and...) then their married sex would be a lot hotter than their dating sex. People are to blame for their own sexual problems, and it's up to them to fix the problem. I really get tired of hearing negative stuff about marriage because marriage is a sacred bond that gets stronger and better with time.

Answer 483

Sex slowed down when our first son was born, and pretty much stopped altogether after our second son was born, four years later. Change the consensus? Keep on gettin' it on regardless of the circumstances!

Answer 484

maybe because they see so much of eachother that it just becomes like another chore... people need to try to maintain the excitement that drew the two together in the first place, and also have their own separate things that they enjoy so they remain individuals...stress from daily life and work and other responsibilities also play a part on lowered libidos too. .. i think that sometimes married couples become too comfortable and slide on the little things that could help add or maintain some pizzaz or spice to their love lives.

Answer 485

This opinion has been perpetuated by jokes, unimaginative people and the press. I would sex if the sex has stopped in a marriage...its because the couple has become too comfortable and complacent. Each partner should be constantly striving to keep the excitement in their relationship. Do something different...keep your partner guessing about who you are sexually....and please.....change positions every now and then!

Answer 486

If you would meet me at a upscale hotel ...we can discuss this issue in greater detail....just kidding....but it was worth a try..I think you and your sister are some hot raven hairy scarlets....I can picture you in leather pants and high heels....but seriously, my point is imagination....imagination is the key to keeping things hot...new ways to have sex, new places to have sex outside of and around the house, and new things to wear while having or during sex...sex should be a adventurous pleasure with every new experience..not a boring irregular routine....what people must remember the mind is the key to the physical realm and a spiritual connection can be made..look at Tantric sex and the Karma Sutra...even some Yoga techniques are abundant with sexual energy...working out and keeping the body in shape is vital...so many times, married people let themselves go...so either they get disgusted by what they see or simply bored....you only get out of your sex life what you put in...zero effort equals zero pleasure...you have to be dedicated to making sure your lifemate is fully satisfied....that means doing whatever it takes.

Answer 487

Because the media, or local news, talk shows, discuss scandals in relationships. Seldom do we hear about Romance, How to make your marriage work or Monogamy. It‘s almost like people would rather hear about a scandal then Romance. If you have scandal in a marriage your sex life decreases because someone feels betrayed by love and love creates intimacy.

We need to hear more about how to Rebuild TRUST because trust builds commitment and commitment is the cornerstone of monogamy.



If more people would focus on this old fashion values that Romance expresses love. Love creates intimacy. Intimacy enhances trust. Trust builds commitment. Commitment is the cornerstone of monogamy. Monogamy flourishes amid romance sex would not stop.

Answer 488

If women spoke more openly about sex that would help but it is not seen as lady like.



I really do not believe that marrage slows out sex drive I think it is getting older that causes the change.



Another thought is this -- if people started having sex at a later age the sex drive might last to a later age as well.

Answer 489

There must be a flaw in the relationship in married couples. I can't imagine no sex in a relationship if I were married to that person. I would not stay married. If there is no sex than the marriage is over. Yes companionsip is important but so is sex. Question is why do they tolerate this?

Answer 490

I have an idea about what marriage is like and my life is already pretty busy without the marriage part. I do know that when I do make the decision to get married there will be no stopping of the sex....oh no...

Answer 491

Once people get married and after the honey moon phase, people tend to get into their careers or the children and by the time they go to bed they are too tired to to have sex. Both parties have to make time for it. Pencil it in sort of speak. Keep things interesting and don't forget what got u together in the first place. After 20 yrs. u should still go on dates and have special evenings. Dress up for your honey, show 'em you're still interested and most of all don't forget to tell 'em that u love them and they are the only one for u just like in the beginning. Yeah kids may change things but not yr feelings and passion for your mate. U have to work at the relationship just like you had to work at it to get it started in the first place.

Answer 492

It's because when you get married and stay lawal to the spouse, sex with the rest of partners stops.

If this is the case, should you change it?

In normal sense, keep the spice of marriage by warming up the relations and stopping of sex in marriage will not happen.

Answer 493

I think that sometimes after the commitment of marriage things get "stale" in the bedroom and this is why the sex stops. People should try to mix things up,be more spontanious, say like jump your partners bones in the kitchen

or some other place just to keep things interesting

Answer 494

i don't think that is completley true. People have to find new ways of making the marriage and interseting and then the sex will me more interesting. If it's the same thing day in and day out in the marriage with no varience, then the sex will be just like that. I feel it's more of a mental thing than physical thing. when the mental aspect is good to go and alive then the sex will be good to go and alive.

Answer 495

We need to change the mindset of men. Men feel, most of the time, that once they are married they do not need to try anymore. They have "conquered". Men need to remember that women are different and they NEED us to keep being the man they were attracted to in the first place. Don't stop calling, writing love letters, bringing flowers, or making love. I don't mean sex, there is a difference. I mean give her your full attention. Make it last, dont' just go for the "quickie" so you can go to sleep. Let her know how important she is to you.

Answer 496

It is the concensus of opinion because when you get married, sex is on tap, but usually at home in the same bed, etc etc



To change this concensus, married lovers should agree to meet like unmarried lovers once a month throughout their married life in a different hotel/place for passionate sex!

Answer 497

Have sex...

It is too often the chase, the thrill of conquest that makes for the hunt.. the prize is often not as sweet as the imagined victory.

So, is lost the respect , the caring and listening.. Daily "chores", or picking up socks and doing mundane routines of Real life seem too often to chase away the romance. But, this all is equal to the choice two people make after saying " I do".. becomes more " I don't". Sadly this i think is the true answer to loss of Sex, love and increase in divorces.. Lack of commitment to our commitments. What promise we keep?

Answer 498

I feel the opposite. I have alot of trauma concerning sexuality and I am also a Christian so sex before marriage to me is kind of guilt ridden and is not that frequent. I feel that when I get married I will feel free to do as I please with my husband. I am not married to my fiancee yet and I already have all those worries about bills, the house and everything and we aren't even living together so I feel getting married would bring more of the benefits than the baggage to our relationship.

Answer 499

I think it's not so much the marraige that stops the sex, it's more of everything else that comes with it. I know what I hear the most about post marital no sex is that kids, which usually follow marraige, make it next to impossible to have the time or the energy to devote to a good sack session

Answer 500

I think alot of Married couple become comfortable with each other and forget to put each others needs first after awhile. It is very important to Communicate and Laugh with each other and yes enjoy Sex as much as possible. Keep it real and exciting. My man has bought me all kind of Sex toys, and we Both enjoy watching Porn together, it is stimulating for us Both. A healthy relationship takes Two, working for the same Goals and each other.

Answer 501

The boys have no reason to brag about who they are shagging (as its obvious) and that's why there is this assumption that there is no sex going on after marriage.

Neither party has to try very hard to get some and often less is more. Its not about quantity its about quality and I would rather tease my hubbie for a while than give in to the first hint of his request - makes for better sex all round.

Answer 502

I think the consensus starts because you don't see your "future spouse" nearly as often as you do once you're married, so it just seems like less. So, if you're with someone and only see them a couple of times a week, but you have sex everytime you see them, doesn't mean you're having less when you're livinng with that same person and only having sex a couple of times a week.

Answer 503

I THINK THAT IT'S JUST A FEW COUPLES THAT THIS HAPPENS TO. PEOPLE MAKE TOO MUCH OUT OF SEX AND IF IT WAS REALLY GOOD BEFORE MARRIAGE AND THEN IT SLOWS UP, IT COULD BE THAT NOW HE'S REALLY COMMITTED AND IT'S LEGAL AND EITHER OR BOTH OF YOU ARE SCARED. YOU SHOULD GO AWAY FOR A ROMANTIC WEEKEND, DON'T TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE, HAVE FUN DRESS SEXY HAVE A NICE CHAMPAIGN AND HOT TUB BUBBLE BATH. AND SOME GOOD SEX. I'LL BET WHEN YOU GET BACK HOME THE SEX WILL BE BACK !! IF YOU BELIEVE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST SEX DEPRIVED THEMSELVES.

Answer 504

make people realize that sex is so much more beautiful within marriage than without. that you don't get married to become another boring person, but more connected to the one you love. Show people the marriages that don't fall apart and the steamy stuff that goes on in the ones that last. if media would show more hott marriages and less promoscuity it wouldn't be looked at as a sport.

Answer 505

There really is no way to change this for everyone else. But in order to change it for yourself you must simply have sex. I had less sex with my husband before we married. Once we married it was like a switch was turned on and now we have it atleat 3-4 times a week.

Answer 506

Statistics come from surveys.. Statistics say that when you get married sex doesnt happen as often, averaged by the rare few whose sex life blossoms and the very many whose goes down hill. You can't stop assumptions, some people are just to dumb to realise that its an average. and that not everyones se lives and marriages are the same.

Answer 507

We've been married for 13 years and I have to admit that we don't have sex as much as we did before marriage and before children. However the quality of sex is so much better now because we are comfortable with each other and able to tell each other what we like and not feel embarassed.

Answer 508

First of all if this is Jackie I have to tell you I LOVE U and have read all your books! I have NEVER found anouther writer like you and I hope you NEVER stop! For your question I have been asking the same thing all my life! Isn't that what we all love and what atracts us? If we break up isn't that what we are looking for? So why doesn't it happen when we are together? I don't get it. Guys are **ses they talk big then they can't keep us happy thank god for latex!!! Love you babe can't wait for your new book.

Answer 509

Most people don't take the time, initiative to keep things alive. Sure after you get married you have day to day activities and children and you can't necessarily have sex as frequently or as much as you like in normal situations. That just means that you both have to keep things alive and be creative. Be creative on satisfying each other, desiring each other, different ways to please each other and different places to satisfy each other so that you don't get caught! Just have fun doing it and keep it alive... it will be well worth it and you will both be much happier. If there is a reason you aren't interested, deal with it. Medical conditions are no excuse, you can discuss things with your partner and your doctor. Just keep your relationship going strong.

Answer 510

Jackie, do you ever stop with the sex stuff? Even for just a break from it? You have to be good for something other than sex, come on. I am so sick of it from you.

Answer 511

but then it is nly n opinion... yah..its true that that romance is less bout the fun , taking care etc aftr marriage...coz there is no more a question like " what next"...n ne relation derives its energy frm the uncertainty involved in it...n then there is happiness around n sex beng an integral part of it..

but aftr marriage we tend to be more responsible bout each other..acting as what is requred of us..we take the prescribed ways ..n start being true frens ..n no reln is no more unpredictable... n sex reduces



n many a times ..it so happens like when we get sumthing.we frgt what it is worthy of...n we try moving on..n thats why the world is full of regrets..



the best way is to keep doing thing which r surprising .. which ur partner has nvr expected of..n doing evry thing we used to while trying to date her

Answer 512

Just a consensus! The sex only stops because of natural 'illness' But mostly when love dies because of a 3rd parties involvement. True love never dies and love and sex are TWINS!

Answer 513

I can't answer for anyone else, but by the time I get ready for bed I'm too tired and I fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. This is not an excuse it just is the way it is. I like to have sex as much as any one else, but my husband and I have exhausting work schedules. If life were more simple we'd have sex more often.

Answer 514

ok i have been married 5 yrs now and we are 22 and did get married very young but after 8 yrs of being together we still have a woncerful sex life 3-7x a week the only reason people sstop having sex is because they are unhappy or they are cheating but as long as you happy and you can make your partner happy and vice versa then you should be ok well good luck!!!!

Answer 515

I think it in general has to do with how happy the couple is with themselves! If they are happy with themselves, they want to make others happy and can concentrate on caring and giving, physically, emotionally and sexually. A happy marriage and sex life takes a lot of work by both partners. I also think in a lot of cases, one or both partners get lazy and want more than they give. I've been happily married for 5 years and LOVE sex!

Answer 516

A consensus of opionion? Where and who did you get your information from? A few friends? At a social one night?

I was not part of that survey. The opinion is flawed , just like most opinions.

Answer 517

Your never suppose to give out all your tricks at once! Make it surprising and fun. Dont let it get dull. Try new stuff, stuff he is into and stuff you are curious about. I found toys can be great. The Liberator is so fun, especially the black label one that includes bondage. If that isnt your thing try porn, and it doesnt have to be trashy porn try something classy like Jenna Jameson's Provacature! Get books look it up. Just keep it exciting and he will be begging for an encore!

Answer 518

It is unfortunate, but familiarity does breed contempt (as the saying goes). When the brain experiences the same thing over and over, the synapes just don't fire like they did in the beginning. As for resolving the problem, either change partners or change routine with current partner....Take a trip, not just to the local motel, but our of town. Really pour on the romance. Don't wait for it to come to you. Dress up, make a change in appearance, wear fragrance,get a babysitter for a few days, not one night. Remember what drew you to your partner. Keep on keeping on. Life is short.

Answer 519

I don't think so, I mean it can change and you need to spice things a bit, here and there sometimes, but if you are with the right person, it can be fun finding new ways and places, and .... well it can be fun!



I know people think stops after you get married, I guess for some people it does, and therefor they are more vocal about it. The rest I guess they are busy!

Answer 520

There is actually some theoretical basis for this, its not all just opinion. Its called the 'Jelly bean' theory.



As the theory goes, when your unmarried you put a jelly bean into a jar every time that you have sex up until you get married. Then when you get married, you take a jelly bean out of the jar. The theory is that you will never empty that jar.



*shudders*

Answer 521

unfortunatly no one likes to brag about the sex they have in marriage so i guess nothing will make a difference

i dont believe it is true

a happy healthy marriage is the product of a lot of work and most dont beleive they have to work at it once they get married

my husband and i have i think a happy healthy marriage - like all others we have bad times but we try to work through them and well sex is sex again you cant just lay there and expect it to be great all the time like in the movies or books you have to both participate

i think more married people have sex than will admit it but you dont brag about married sex do you

im having the best sex i have ever had with my husband and im not ashamed to say that it gets better as we get older and learn more about each other

i think that we need to educate that any relationship will need to be worked at you dont just fall in love and it stays like that for ever we must change and addapt to new things - like kids -morgage - work or health our lives like our homes are always changing and we need to go with it



married couples need to stop being ashamed of sex its normal and the kids will get over it parents do have sex



when we stop being ashamed to admit it the problem will be solved

Answer 522

Sex gets boring with the same person time after time. Same positions, same cuddling, caressing, even the same whispered endearments. Love has to be based on more than sex. To keep sex on fire then light a fuse. Be different, creative and keep it lighthearted sometimes. Both times I was married(10+ years, both times) the sex wasn't an issue when we divorced. We even had ex-sex; but a person really has to care about the feelings of their partner. Believe me, if your significant other knows you love them and they love you, then both will try to make it work without it becoming an issue.

Answer 523

Well i think that because well when you are married you see each other everyday so sex is not that tempting anymore. Also when your are married the relationship is not that romantic anymore becasue it would be kind of tiering to be romantic everyday. But when you are dating well you dont live in the same house, or see each other every single day, and well when you do meet well then it is very romantic so the results would be sex.

Answer 524

That is a lot of hog wash! Sex gets better if not more frequent when you get married! What better set up than that you have your partner right there ready willing and able...you don't have to go down to the local hot spot and "catalogue shop" anymore and chance getting into a situation that turns into a nightmare. Don't listen to those "Nagging Nellys" that try to represent us all!

Answer 525

Maybe because the excitement, intrigue and danger you have while you are not married dies. When you are young and in lust, you don't think about getting caught but it is exciting to think about it. When you are married, it is almost like a routine and you "have" to do it. If people would bring some of the excitement and spice back, there might be fewer divorces, cases of adultery and help with other marital problems.

Answer 526

If sexually active, sex doesn't stop after marriage. We just look for different people to have sex because having sex with the same person for 10 years over is like reading a book over and over again.

Answer 527

Although strong evidence can provide a solid answer, people only recognize that simply from stereotypes, as well as word-of-mouth. One true way to spread the notion that this may not be the case is to get real-life couples to cooberate with the real answer. I am not a doctor, nor a psychologist, but I could bet someone knows the truth, as well as a group of subjects willing to support it.

Answer 528

I really dont get it I have to be honest my husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and if the begining way 100% then I would say now is about 90% but we have 3 kids it really didnt change that much for us so I dont know why people think that?

Answer 529

I have never heard of that consensus, it must be coming from very Young kids......I know that when you get married sex increases...what we can do too stop that consensus is...married people need to teach singles they need to tell us what it is like and married people need to be happy and have healthy sex lives..

Answer 530

In my experience it does not stop - just changes.



Yes, it is different to the lusty early days of a new relationship where things are passionate and exciting. However, with the years of marrriage - new sexual frontiers are reached, boundaries extended and things gets get kinky! as you are truly comfortable with a partner and not afraid or embarrased to do what feels good.



Yes things get in the way, like work, kids etc but marriage is anything but a death sentence for a sex life. All about getting the balance I guess.

Answer 531

I think that the reason why they say that sex stops after marriage is that the sex is just not as exciting after marriage. I think for couples that are married they need to find ways to make the sex exciting. They need to find ways to keep the passion in sex. I think the biggest reason why sex stops they say is that once you are married that you both live busy lives and if you have kids then that makes it even harder.

Answer 532

I made sure that the "newness" stayed in our marriage, I kept sending flowers and little cards for her. I told her there was no good reason for it to end or get old. with in 9 months of marriage she "was tired" and really didn't think Sex would be as important now as it had been. I think the reason it stops is your partner starts to take things for granted, Sex isn't;t as important as watching ER this week, or Sex needs to be done at this time from here to here.

Answer 533

Sex does't have to stop just because you get married. It can get hard due to kids, responsibilities. Bring the fun back into the relationship. Do some of the things you used to do, likr parking, lingerie, new positions. A hotel can always spice things up. Try different rooms in your house.

Answer 534

Its really just a fact and it isnt that sex stops completely but it is not as often and it is because married couples live together and are around each other all the time, so they can have it any time they wnt where as unmarried couples are not around each other as much and they tend to want it more, its not reallly anything you can change.

Answer 535

Before I got married to my now husband we had sex like everytime we saw one another. We never fought either. But when we put those rings on and said I do everything changed. We fight more and have sex less. So I do believe sex does kindof stop but not all together after marriage.

Answer 536

Well it really depends- is there really love in the marriage- if there isn't then sex would stop- but there are also times that we have come so routine in life that it has become a bore- try to change it- we need to keep that first night alive- where we absorb each other- if you don't expect the your partner to stray to find that feeling.

Answer 537

Not just when your married, I think that the longer that you are in a relationship, sex takes a back seat. There are other issues that develop, which also develops your relationship. I think if you want to keep sex on the table then you have to keep your relationship young and fresh, continue to surprise each other and show affection in more ways.

Answer 538

Cause for many couples it"s pretty much true. People get bored,restless whatever you want to call it. I am divorced and disabled so I have nothing but time and I have thought about this alot ! The problem begins when we fall in love with a person who is not like minded.Opposites may attract but seldom last. Being a shy person I was eager to be with just one woman. Therin was the problem, my wife was not and strayed.

Answer 539

i would have to say that people think sex stops because they dont know how to have an open conversation with their partner about what excites them sexually. so they become bored and after a while uninterested in having the same old sex for years and then the guy would rather masturbate or have an affair. also the strain of life kills the sex drive of some people.

Answer 540

I think mother nature has played a cruel joke. It seems that MEN &&&& WOMEN get bored with sex after a long period of time of being married. The the boy boogies..not the women usually. Thats why I dont understnad marriage anymore..stay till you hate each other no sex, cheating, broedom..then what? It all seems like a cruel joke to me.

Answer 541

Sex shouldn't stop once your married..it should only get better as time goes on. You have to keep the spark going. I was married once before and sex didn't stop and I am getting remarried soon and hope that it just gets exciting. I think that may be a true opinon for some marriages that let it happen...but sex should only get more exciting as time goes on.

Answer 542

It is not necessarily the consensus of opinion to my knowledge. I and other married friends continue to have a sex life that is quite satisfactory. Maybe we need to advertise, or another Kinsey report needs to be conducted.

Answer 543

ya know i think sometimes the hubbub of life makes us forget how sexual and passionate we are...i am with my husband since i am 15 and i am now 32...married for the last 8 years and am on my 4th child...when i am preggo he is alittle wierd about sex but other then that he is truly a sex machine...but i think that this happens because we make our relationship very important...as far as our passion for eachother..the kids were brought into our life not the other way around where they control it...i refuse to let that happen... Others may have the problem with boredom and needing to be addicted to the stimulation of first meeting someone well that is not real love and they should of never been married in the first place...My advice to everyone is to make your partner and yourself feel needed, wanted and seriously sexual...it is important to keep that going as loooooong as you can...get excited over eachother...you can have problems but as long as you end up at the end of everything coming back to eachother and giving eachother YOURSELVES...

Answer 544

After having hot times, slow times, and arctic times during a great 10 year and going marriage - you just have to work on it - find out what gets and keeps each other interested in getting it on. If you are not doing something your partner wants or needs it gets to be a bore - ask and you shall receive (knowledge is the key to all obstacles)

Answer 545

Marriage is for those that love each other unconditionally. Sex is not only for procreation, but also the most intimate form of showing affection and dedication. That being said, marry for the right reasons, to the right person, and there is no problem!

Answer 546

For the people who enjoy sex even more after marriage to say so. I think people who are married talk less about sex than singles do, because usually they are getting all they want and don't have anything to complain about, it's a misconception that sex stops after marriage, I have found it to be better than it ever was.

Answer 547

My opinion is that sex becomes less frequent but being replaced by responsibility in building up a family more so when a couple has babies. But this does not mean that their love for each other becomes any lesser than before marriage. I would think that their priorities in lives changes.

Answer 548

It is a well documented fact in the annals of psycho therapy that both parties devolve into thoughtless, overweight pigs once married. Once they reach this state, sex does stop with each other. It will take centuries to reverse this condition through better physical, mental and spiritual health.

Answer 549

Don't know who made this stupid consensus. My sex really started when I got married and never stop since. We got to get back to basic, respect the marriage institution, family institution, never equate love with sex and never take sex without love.

Answer 550

Despite how "progressive" we claim to be as a society, openly discussing and embracing our sexuality is still considered pretty Taboo. This issue is why I have become a consultant for Pure Romance. I have had so many women open up to me because of my business and I've been able to suggest things for them to try to "liven up" their relationships.



Ultimately, though, I do believe we are simply still too prudish, believing it's base or crass to celebrate a sexually healthy marriage. Most of us being raised in a predominantly Christian society, we also carry a lot of "sexual guilt" which makes us feel as if it's wrong to enjoy our sexuality.



As far as changing, remember the story of the Starfish. A man was walking on the beach and found hundreds of starfish that had 'beached" themselves. He began to throw them back in, one at a time. His companion complained that there were far too many for him to save them all. He replied, "I can't save all their lives, but I just saved this one," and he threw another in, "and this one," and so on...



Perhaps we can only change things for the better, one person at a time, but that's a start!

Answer 551

well i would have to think that the sex doesn't stop parse but it gets common and maybe boring to the fact that it doesn't appeal to each other anymore. I would also like to think that if a couple were to salvage or keep the flame alive would be to spice things up. Dress up, role play, change where you have sex, be spontaneous. maybe even a little adventurous. I dont know what do you think?

Answer 552

Because you go from having sex multiple times a day before you get married. Then you get married and all of the sudden it stops. You might have sex once or twice a week if you're lucky.

Answer 553

In my opinion, when you get married sex will not stop if you really love each other. Make your partner happy. Share the good times. Fix the problem and always pray for a strong relationship.

Answer 554

Not sure why that is...but it is true for me. In trying to keep the fire burning as it was when we first meet is hard but it takes two to do that. When your spouse just does not want to have sex as frequently as you did before there is a problem somewhere. Maybe its because you don't have to work as hard to impress your spouse anymore...which I do not agree with. Or maybe you know that have sex will happen and so to have it frequently is not necessary...I disagree with that as well. I feel that I have tried to show my wife how much I care for her both mentally and physically...the sex just does not happen like it use to...maybe having two kids has dropped her interest. But our children are 6 and 8...so I know that is not it...Oh well.

Answer 555

I am not of that belief. Of course, I've only been married for 3 months, so who knows.



I do think that when people get married, they tend to get bored. My husband told me that he thinks I'm trying to let myself go because I'm married. I had to step back and examine myself and it's true that I would always try and be extra cute when I knew he was on his way over to my apartment, but now that we're married, I seldom freshen up when I know he's on his way home.



Some I'm trying to keep the excitement there. So the sex doesn't become routine, boring, and eventually rare.

Answer 556

Most people enjoy not knowing that they can have it anytime. when some people get married the chase is off- no more dressing up or waxing here and there or extra effort etc ..the romance dies...there are more resposibilities that takes away from that effort cause an imbalance i.e. work, mortgage, children etc. and all combined takes the sizzle away.

and sometimes...seeing the same thing all the time..well you just get used to it..and get bored!

Answer 557

Isn't that funny? My husband and I lived together for seven years before we got married and sure enough, one month after that, we had separate sleeping quarters! For me, though, my guy began to act as if I became his property and started placing demands on me that were nonexistent before.I'm not sure, but I think a lot of people don't truly understand and take to heart the vows they take and the promises that are made. That's very sad. I for one would like to break this cycle...for the sake of my own marriage.

Answer 558

Every one's answer that leads to sex not stopping after marriage is correct, to some extent. It does however affect frequency. Before marriage my wife and went at it like the proverbial rabbits. then came marriage, and with time that frequency dwindled. We don't have kids, we are both professional. Having said that, I don't care how tired I am, I am always ready to please. I love sex and I want it often. Do you think this reason would justify a sexual relationship on the side?

Answer 559

Where did this consensus come from and is it truly valid? Sex got better after we got married. We just went wild and got all kinds of books and started trying all kinds of exciting things. I feel like marriage made our sex life hotter than fire!

Answer 560

Sex does not stop . The lust stops and love begins. We are all children when we do not have it, we want it and we have it we stop longing for it.It is not only sex but life in general.Are you talking about just plain sex or having an exciting night or day in bed with some you care for . It should not be the quantity but the quality of sex you have.

Answer 561

Simply that over time, having sex in the same place and position each time does put a damper on it. People take each other for granted..like "nudge, nudge...are you awake??"



Men should spend time arousing the mating urge or desire in a woman, not just "wham bam thank you m'am". Then sex becomes pleasurable for both sexes, not just the male. If a woman isn't in the mood for sex, then don't push for it. Just go take care of yourself somewhere quiet.



Having sex in unusual places, not just the 'bed' and the many positions that sex may be enjoyed, should keep the 'zing' in a couples sex life...it does mine anyway!!!

Answer 562

hello,,there is some truth to this although the reality is compounded by the double of problems that arise after you get married ,things just happen, not prepared for the change that will happen in all people, and disputes that don't get resolved lead to anger and resentment and the loss of that loving feeling,,anyone feel like sex after spending all day with a very small child who is sick and whining, needs all your attention,and you have lots of other work that needs done,,

Answer 563

I was married for sixteen years before my husband passed away. We had a great Sex life. Once sometimes twice a day

I think you should study this further. Like someone else said who knows what goes on behind closed doors. I sure don't talk about my Sex life freely. Good Luck God Bless

Answer 564

I think its because there is a false preconceived idea that marriage is supposed to be boring and since sex is fun and exciting, the idea of hot sex after marriage does not fit.



To change this happy and hot married couples should go on Oprah and fess up!

Answer 565

I don't understand that but I know when I get married my man better be able to sex me at least twice a day. I think people get married for the wrong reasons and they can't get past other problems to be intimate. Too many people marry too young. You just have to know that your mate is going to be sexual throughout the marriage if you are a sexual person. You also need to know if your mate is not sexual before you get married. People see hearts and roses when it comes to getting married but they don't look at what is after the honeymoon stage.

Answer 566

Too busy doing married people stuff.



Lost the excitement. No chase no fun for either person.



Been there done that.



I'm afraid that for most people it's just the way things work.

Answer 567

Well I think its all in the mind. If you get married its like you are expected to slow and that this person your amrried to is the only person you are to have sex with for the rest of your life. BUT---if you just stay together and not married you may have better sex. For some people its all in the mind.

Answer 568

People get bored with the same ole same ole. Its work to keep the magic alive. I've only been married for 5 years so it's still pretty new to me, but, we've had to take it up a notch if you know what I mean. We take bubble baths and have date night every week. We finally got a hot tub a few weeks ago, OMG! That REALLY helps. lol

Answer 569

sex becomes duty or sex becomes boreing, and sooner or later it just stops being the game it is when you were not married. It is just the way things are and it is part of life. If you both feel the same, and do not care if sex stops or becomes boring maybe your marriage will survive. It may survive because that is the way both of you want it to be and why not?????

Answer 570

Sexual satisfaction within our marriage isn't something I brag about to friends and strangers. Maybe it goes back to that old adage, "Those that talk the most about it are doing the least about it!"

I don't know how to change public opinion. Should we start putting up billboards along the highway advertising wonderful sex lives with the person you marry?

Answer 571

Wives need to make their husbands happier in this department. Sometimes it's a stereotype but I've heard too many people talk about how this happened to them and they were serious. When you get married you should take the opportunity to try to make your mate happy for the rest of your lives. Wives need to understand what power they really have in a marriage and use discretion so that they don't abuse it.

Answer 572

My wife and I are married 17 years. Once you have kids it may slow down a little, however, we still make love 3-4 times a week, even with 3 kids. Time is just a little harder to get, however when ever we find the chance, we get busy.

Answer 573

Nothing, because to some degree in most relationships it is true. Life has a way of dragging people into ruts of behavior. You cannot spend life with another person and continuously desire them sexually all the time. Marriage is work sometimes and simply sharing of two lives and cannot always be sex and desire.

Answer 574

Because sadly, in my opinion, both people turn off their "trolling" motors. When a couple marries it gives them the opportunities to try all sorts of exciting things simply because of proximity and shared resources. If the couple is not equally dedicated to this goal the future looks bleak. I feel that any man and woman needs to sit down prenuptuals and discuss what they want out of life, what they need from each other and if they are willing to commit to doing it long term.

Answer 575

I Have my theory! I have been with this man for 5 years. In the beginning sex was great can't never complain. then i had his 1st child. and everything stoped. everything cold. about 2 years ago I left but I continue to have sex with him. for the time we were not living under the same roof the sex was better than it was when we first met. 6months of this we got together and guess what I am having less sex the occasional one. and it seems like when he thought he will loose me he was there more the affection was great, move back in, everything goes back the same. they get comfortable with you, and think you wont leave they take everything for granted...

Answer 576

That isn't the case as far as my marriage is concerned.

With marriage in many cases comes children and much more responsibility and less time for anything.



With that in mind, it may not occur as frequently as during our courting days, but it most definitely has not stopped nor has it decreased in frequency all that much.

I will say that after being together 17 years, our love for one another has only deepened and our love life is better than ever.

I wonder if I'm in the minority for this case?

Answer 577

What can be done?



Change human nature



Sex doesn't always stop after the first year of marriage, but it does slow down.



how to prevent this



?



hygeine is a good start...time apart...staying in shape...



I know a couple---he is 70, she's 76, and they still hold hands and paw each other and it is sooooo cool---I want that.

Answer 578

Sex becomes not interesting if you always do it the same way. It is easy to get into a rut when you are married. It does not have to be that way. Talk to each other about what you want and where and how and experiment. If it is different it will not get boring.

Answer 579

Me and my husband have been together for seven years and we have a two and three year old and we are sex life is still as spicy since we have been together. I think that in order to keep your sex life spiced up after you get married is do not be afraid to show it. And what I mean by that is for the women do not be afraid to go in the shower with him and wash his back so to speak. For the men do not be afraid while she is in the kitchen while she is cooking supper and help her. It is a little thing called FOREPLAY!!!!

Answer 580

hi there ,welli am married to a great guy and the sex hasnt stopped ..if anything its got better, you have to keep working at youre marriage if you dont thats where things get sticky and the sex side of things stops ,if you keep little suprizes for each oter and leave notes in pockets txts on each others mobile it keeps things bubblng along ,there is a old saying .......be a cook in the kitchen ,a hostess in the lounge,and a hoar in the bedroom ,it is only between you to so go for it ,and dont move into those old slippers ........

Answer 581

I feel that a lot of the time, what attracted us to someone in the first place, like she liked the 'bad boy' image and he liked the 'gorgeous girl' turns into ' why won't he settle down' and ' she takes forever to get ready'

We create little resentments, if we have those, who feels like having sex let alone making love? hmmm

Like with most things we have to be interested to keep things going strong, mabe we should stop and think of the things we enjoy about being with this person. (no matter how small if it comes to that) or how long we've got to think lolwmp

Answer 582

That seems to be the popular opinion. But successful marriages seem to drive off the insatiable notion to get to learn and love their partner the best they can and that generally takes more commitment and work. Its easy to just say well we're married and fall into the day to day grind or start something new w/ someone new.

Answer 583

Marriage is a civilised arrangement, developed from the mutual convenience of mating, breeding, security and sharing, it now embraces comradeship and intellectual appreciation and with that, this strange thing called love.

Our animal instincts are still there, however, and deep down there is the biological urge for a man to sire as many offspring as he can, to perpetuate the species, and with as many different mates as he can find to allow variety in our evolution. We generally call this aspect lust because it defies the niceties of our civilised condition.

We are all susceptible to our animal lust, particularly when we have already 'fulfilled' our role as civilised reproducers.

Answer 584

because when you get married there is so much responsibility that you forget to make time out for each other your at work and he is home or your home and hes a work people dont stop and take time out nomore i think i you have kids it makes it harder too thats the reson the divorce rate is so high.so one night every to weeks make planes for the kids to go some where for all day or a few hour and you and him set down and have dinner and talk be couse if you dont talk sex stops and divorce followes right be hind

Answer 585

Sex does stop in some way.You get used to you partner being there when you need them and its not the same like when you meet the person for the first time.Sex is still great ofcourse but when married you have more responsibilites then when your single and having one night stands.

Answer 586

We're a society of wanting new things. New car, new dress, new partner, etc. It's the fun of exploring something new. This fades away in a relationship after awhile. But if you look for it you can find a deep rooted comfort zone that can make sex incredibly pleasurable, and better than anything new.

Answer 587

I think for alot of couples, it's true! After marriage so many other things have to be done and you are responsible for so much more. It's the jobs, the bills, the house, the kids, the in-laws, the relatives, and on and on. Stuff you didn't have to necessarily share while you were dating. Also, sometimes the very characteristic we first admired in our partner turns out to be the trait that ends up driving us crazy. If your spouse is not living up to your expectations, you build up (usually unspoken) resentment, which just zaps your sex life. One of the traits I first loved about my current husband is that he is a talker...boy, he can talk about anything, where my 1st husband hardly ever spoke to me about anything meaningful. But, now sometimes after a hard day at work and I just want to chill out, my husband wants to talk, talk, talk for hours and I just want him to be quiet!

Answer 588

HI,

If a person marry only for sex he is not a human being , both has to understand the feelings of each other, has to share the happy and sad things, has to enjoy the life.Marriages are made in heaven.

Answer 589

I can honestly say that when you get married the sex does not stop. Because my husband and I are comfortable with each other, sex is just as exciting as when we were dating. Marriage takes work and you have to be willing to put in the effort and time to do so. And that applies to everything...including sex!

Answer 590

It don't have to stop, but if it has you need to ask yourself what is going on in the relationship that is causeing one of you to pull away from the other, and ask yourself, is thier any medical problems that might be causeing any problems? have you prayed about it? are thier any signs of a cheating spouce? are you sleeping in the same bed? there are several reasons sex can or will not stop in a marriage, but if you love one another first, sex is the least important part of any relationship and a relationship should not be based on sex either, God Bless you Rev. karen

Answer 591

Its not necessarily after you get married, but moreso after you have kids. Something is lost hormonally. Too much testosterone is also a problem for some women. It really is a physical problem that most women don't know exists unless they see a doctor. Lack of desire and low to no libido is a physical/psychological imbalance that can be helped with lab work and meds.

Answer 592

cuz its true!! i think we get so content if not careful we get lazy.

i make it a point to make sure and "put out" at least once a week...I think the youth of today are so much not afraid of anything , they'll change it without even trying their so wild and getting wilder,,,younger kids will grow up and write an outrageous book (to us),,and then the consensus will be changed! Voila!,,

Answer 593

That is up to each of the individuals involved..I have heard of this happening a lot but not when you are first married..It usually occurs when the couple have children and of course the children seem to come first...and the couple are so tired that they don't make time for themselves, which they always should to keep there relationship healthy and happy...

Answer 594

Just another excuse for people to not get married. Anything will do to help people stick with their commitment issues. I don't really think there's anything you can do about how others feel. No matter what you say, people will believe what they want to. And if they would rather shy away from marriage because they're afraid sex will cease, then that's just what they will do.

Answer 595

I think that it is because couples allow this to be the rule rather than the exception. You hear so often of men and women committing various infidelities because their husband/wife is oblivious to their partner's sexual needs.



One way to change this concensus is to accept that people are sexual beings and that sex is part of a healthy marriage. We should all learn to express what it is we desire and be open to hear these expression from our partners. In most cases some sort of compromise can be reached...and normally they end up in fun trips to the adult novelty stores or the grown up section of Barnes and Nobles.

Answer 596

The couple who got married are deeply in love to each other and sex is part of the relationship. But if the love faded then sex stops, too. Remember, having sex is not an obligation to our partner, instead it's the deepest expression of our love to one another.

Answer 597

You have to talk about every thing. And if you can't work things out maybe you married the wrong person. Sex does not stop after marriage. Sex does not stop when you get old. Get real.

Answer 598

I think when people start treating their partners like a piece of one of the furniture in the house; it is not only sex that stops but also the cordial relationship that also takes back-seat.



If we treat spouses the way we treat our not-very-intimate friends (formal friends) then the adage of 'familiarity breeds contempt' would hold true and people would be extra cautious not to become too much 'familiar' about spouses.



Hope this metaphor answers your question partly!

Answer 599

Because it almost does!

Whether consciously or subconsciously, probably a bit of each, women use sex as a tool to gain the interest of men and to hold it.

Men are very easily (mis)lead by their desire for sex. Women have more control over their sexual desires and can hold off for a while without going crazy.

As cliched as it may sound, women want to settle. Whether they wish to have children or not, women crave security and safety. Once she achieves this (marriage), sex is no longer an important issue to her. The sex slows down and the man learns to appreciate whatever tidbits are thrown his way....

Until it is cut off too much, at which point, his eagerness, having been controlled for so long, wanes temporarily. It returns, but for sex with someone else, because it has become too difficult and too uncomfortable at home. Men feed on ego and there is nothing more crushing to the male ego than to be given 'sympathy sex' where he knows that the woman is not really interested - not really 'getting off' on it. That is a soul destroyer. It's like reading a woman's diary and learning that she faked every orgasm with him. It becomes a chore for both partners.

So he looks elsewhere, for someone whom he can satisfy. Someone who enjoys his ministrations and makes him feel like a man again.

To a woman, sex is a means to an end. To a man, it is the end to be pursued by whatever means.

Answer 600

Teh problem is that many couples live together for a long time before marriage, during which time they enjoy all the sexual activities, but once they get married, they become complacent, take each other for granted, and sex usually becomes a must, but only in rare occasions. It doesn't really stopp, but becomes less and less frequent.

Answer 601

Back in the day when we were all young'uns life was new and exciting, the first colour tv coming out, people visiting the moon, etc. Romances were exciting and the special someone was like a best friend!....fourty years later, you have never left your best friend for even a day and you begin to wonder when the hell you can take some time for yourself.

Answer 602

I was married to a man that demanded sex daily. The marriage lasted 16 years and his drive never changed. With no time to get in the mood myself, it became my last daily chore. I think sex stops when one partner makes the other partner feel their timeframe for passion is ignored.

Answer 603

Well....for many marriages it does. Why? Because the couple has stopped doing what they always did to attract one another. You have to continue to do those things that excite you as well as your spouse. It 's not always the lack of money that causes stress in a relationship/marriage. It's the lack of quality time with one another. Once quality time has stopped, you will most likely notice sex stopped also.

Answer 604

When couples marry, they seem to have sex less often. Sometimes this is true and sometimes it just seems like it. I think that for one thing, the newness wears off. You live together, you pay bills together. Worry about bills and other mundane things. Your stress levels increases, with each bill and each time you get Chinese food instead of pizza. Many people take their day to day concerns to bed, Don't!!! Keep the bedroom for sleeping and sex. The bedroom is your safe haven. Your no worries zone. Your FUN zone. Don't worry about if you think he or she is not in the mood, hold them or touch them, it's nice to just sleep together too.

Answer 605

I guess I missed out on that memo, I've been married 6 years. The sex hasn't stop. To tell you the truth it's better now, from when we were dating. I don't know why people say that. I don't think I have ever met someone who said the sex stoped.

Answer 606

I've never even heard of that, so I'm not part of that "consensus of opinion". In fact, I thought that marriage was when the sex started!

Answer 607

Sex doesn't stop when you get married. Sometimes people get lazy or get too comfortable and take each other for granted. Don't let that happen, remember how much you love your partner and cherish them everyday.



My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have four children and he still opens doors for me, picks me flowers and tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful he thinks I am every day. We also still have sex every day and most days we have it at least twice a day.



You get what you give. Give your spouse what they need and make them feel special and they'll return it back to you!

Answer 608

We have to keep having sex fromthe time we get married until it is no longer physically possible. I think it has been said often enough for people to keep repeating it, and it's a way for people to justify not getting married...because the sex will end. We must start a new rumor.

Answer 609

Unfortunately, I'm experiencing this. My wife Denys it, but our activity level has dropped off considerably. I'm not saying it's nonexistent, but not nearly enough to satisfy me. When I bring up the subject, she becomes very defensive and I feel that I cannot communicate my feelings. I was always told that a marriage should be understanding and compassion and most important of all, satisfaction. Why should a person be sexually frustrated, especially when they sleep alongside another?

Answer 610

I think that once you get married, the spontaneity is gone and it just kinda gets planned. The excitement of being with them is eliminated because there is no longer a challenge. Boredom sets in and the passion goes and you only have sex when the "need" arises.

Answer 611

. i don't think that it is the getting married that makes the sex stop.. it is the two people that makes it stop. you just have so much to do that at the end of the day your just not in the mood for sex .. or if you have a new baby you know that you have to get up with it when it Cary's and you want to try to sleep while you can. and that stops's alot of the sex

Answer 612

Same old thing Jackie. The attraction goes away after the kids start to grow up. I know very few women who are actually attracted to their husbands any more.

Answer 613

I think mature people keep there sex lives to themselves, so we dont hear the about excitement.

Drama, crazymaking sells, and unfortunatly that is what people want to hear about!

You can write books about great sex lives of married couples, the fabulousness of everyday life, how do you think it will do?? Go for it, I will read it!! interview couples about what they do to spice it up?!

We can change by not being so drawn in by drama, bulls&^*T . And create peace, inner peace, in the simple abundance of our daily routine. We change this consensus by counting our blessings, remembering the joy in simple things in our lives.

Answer 614

I'm not sure what can be done, the reason why it stops is usually because when you first get together everything is new and you have more time for it. After you have been together a while it gets boring and you're always busy with other things.

Answer 615

What does it matter what the consensus of opinion is? Just as long as EACH of us are happy - sex or not sex...isn't that the most important part?

Answer 616

I think the marriage rate is dropping because people have a propensity to believe in the negative. Then they use the negatives to build roadblocks enabling them to stop before they start. In this case, I think people want to believe sex stops after marriage so they don't have to take the plunge and find out the truth for themselves.

Answer 617

I think that marriage is often associated with kids, and sex does dwindle after children. Hanging out with non-parents can change this consensus.

Answer 618

I personally think that overall sex slows down. I have a very healthy sex life with my husband but I can tell you before we were married and shared bills, and other burdens we had sex more. I think people overall lose the new and carefree feelings as a marriage goes on.

Answer 619

I think people tend to complain about the lack of sex in married life then people who have an active married sex life. I being a female who enjoys my sex life do not go about saying "oh I had great sex last night" to my co-workers or friends. But I do hear others complain about the lack of sex they have.

Answer 620

Sex does not stop when you have the one your heart is complete in,not every one is your mate and until you have your soul mate your sex life will always looking for something else and this comes from asking god who your mate is not all marriages are supposed to be some for looks, money ,lust all marriages need the foundation of friendship first ,then trust and Love will grow it does not happen over night and most of all God needs to be the center of it for it to stand and develop,and god will keep it hot lovemaking is beautiful when you are with the one for you. Lisa

Answer 621

I would say that once you become married then it is more accessable so therefore not always needed. Once married you start building a family, working long hours, busy lifestyle. All of these things play a large part in a family so this could be why.

Answer 622

I'm wondering the same thing myself Jackie! Trying to wake hubby up so we can have sex before the month runs out :)

Answer 623

It gets old,like would you like to eat the same old thing everyday ? The best thing for us women to do is to reinvent ourselves,like change our looks every now and then and never give our men a dull moment.

It's hard when your a wife,mother and have to work from 9 to 5.we women would be more interested in sex if we stayed at home and did not have to work.I know that from experience,when I was a stay at home mom those soap operas kept me horny all the time.



(Many blessings)

Answer 624

It seems that everyone always assumes that sex stops.....which when we get married in the back of our minds we hear that, so when things start to slow up, we think, "oh this is normal".....it shouldn't be this was. We control this, at any time, we could spice up our love life, that is if we want to. Any given person has it in them, they just need to bring it to the surface. My opinion- sex stops only if we want it to.......we can't blame marriage for it....



Becca

Romance Enhancement Specialist

Answer 625

Have been married for eight years now, I'm 27 years old and we have three beautiful boys. Our sex life hasn't stopped, it has become from 4 times a week to once a week due to kids and work, but even if its once a week it's still sensational!

Answer 626

Who says it's the consensus? It may slow down with the time and energy consumed raising children, but stops?

Answer 627

OK JUST CAME UPON THIS Q......AND WELL FOR ONE THING IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPILY MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE,THEN I BELIEVE THE SEX WILL NOT LAST AND IF YOU HAD ANY REAL FEELINGS FOR THE MAN OF THE HOUR THEN IT SHOULD GO ON FOREVER NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU ARE TOGETHTER!!!!!!!!! I FEEL THE REASON SEX STOPS IS EITHER YOUR NOT IN LOVE OR ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP IS OR HAS BEEN GOING ON AND THE MARRIAGE IS A FARCE IN THE FIRST START...... BUT IF YOU ARE TRULEY IN LOVE THEN THE LOVE BETWEEN TWO HUMAN BEINGS WILL NOT EXPIRE...THE LOVE WILL EXTEND BEYOND THE END OF DAYS!!!!!

Answer 628

People don't seem to realize that sex is only as good as the marriage. Happily married people have more sex throughout there lives and it is much better. It is fulfilling on a physical mental and emotional level. It strengthens and unifies the marriage. People who believe that sex stops with marriage need to work on their marriages.

Answer 629

Your obviously with the wrong person. I can't go a day without having it two or sometimes three times a day. Talk about hot passionate sex!! ........Also, he probably don't want kids? I don't know for sure. Do you have any? May i ask? Maybe he's afraid of the long commitment??? Maybe there's too much going in your lives together? He too tired??

Answer 630

You have to spice up your sex life every once in a while.

People think that way because they think that person they marry want try to sexuaul arouse them any more because they feel they have that person . To change this it depends on the couple if there still in love with each other.

Answer 631

I think its because there's alot of people unhappily married or married for the wrong reasons...ie: a woman lands a man for his money and once married, the rest stops except for her spending. Or A man marries a girl for position in family, dowery etc.....

Bad word of mouth travels faster and farther than good. You never hear someone say....Damn, thank God I married! Now I have more, Better sex than ever.

Answer 632

It's true that the amount of sex my husband and I were having before we were married was much more frequent, but it hasn't stopped. Because of work schedules and the kids it has decreased, but we still have time for two or three interludes a week.

Answer 633

Friendship builds, jobs are important, kids are demanding and you are sometimes just flat out thnakful you have enough energy to make it to your bed. However, I find that sex is a great stress relief...and also the less you do something wether it be sex, exercise, yard sales....the less important it is.

Sex is how most men express their love, and feel rejected when we say no. Women figure all the crap they do is expressing their love, so why add another "chore".

Answer 634

Usually after marraige people tend to have children, and just try having the kind of sex life you had before the kids were born. Virtually impossible. After the children are born, it is time to date each other all over again with set times to be together alone.

Answer 635

Come and hang out with me and my hubby. We laugh at that concept all the time. We've been married for 10 years, and we are still going 1 to 2 times a day, everyday. Our family doesn't understand it, but we are very attracted to each other.

Answer 636

It definitely doesn't stop, but if people have the thought about marriage being boring because the option to have sex is always there... then maybe if Society waited to have sex until they were married, marriage would be more exciting to people. And they wouldn't be comparing their spouse to the excitement of others.

Answer 637

IDK I have been married for two years now and our love life is like a roller-coaster (up &down) no pun intended :) Some weeks we have sex more than other weeks. Depends on how busy we are. I think people have babies and the first mistake is that a man should never watch his wife give birth! Don't hate me ,but my ex- hubby told me the fact he watched me give birth to my son changed his feelings toward me. HE no longer had sexy images in his head, but just thoughts of me giving birth! My new hubby the same way about his ex-wife. Don't kill the messanger!

Answer 638

The truth from a male point of view is that there is no longer any spontaneity. The couples have 2 become more adventurous and roll play. Unexpected surprises are arousing. Dirty talk from your spouse is energizing and invigorating. Everyone loves to live dangerously.

Answer 639

The pattern occurence in the "forbidden sex", defacto then loss of that spark of romance as woken up to lessened intimacy as once was before marriage.

It is usually the burden of responsibility of children on the burden of the mother -puts 110 percent of energy for

supermum in the evenings and little spent intimacy with husband or vice versa,possible lacking body image of the female "feeling less desirable to partner" and lacking special "moments".

Answer 640

High-as-a-kite, top-of-the-world romance is great, but it cannot usually be sustained for long periods of time.



Typically, in the early stages of a relationship, engagement and marriage, the excitement and the passion is there, and you are both putting your best face forward to please and impress the one you love. However, the red hot passion of an early relationship eventually evolves into a kind of comfortable way of life. You become acquainted with all aspects of the person you love, not just the "filtered" parts he or she allowed you to see while the relationship was new. Where maybe 80% of your time together before marriage was spent in being romantic in whatever ways, now that time is shared with work, stress, trying to sleep when the person is snoring next to you, cooking meals, doing chores, doing yardwork, balancing the checkbook, paying bills, paying taxes, fixing the kitchen sink.... well, you get the idea. Shortly after marriage, as your lives begin to mesh, sex is one of MANY things that take up your time.



Then when you add kids into the family, as most married couples do, whatever importance sex had that kept it in the things-to-do list is GONE, because when that cute little bundle of joy wakes you up for the fifth time in a night, you're a LOT more likely to want sleep and a shower, than you are to want sex.



Unfortunately, it's easy to get in the mindset that of all the issues facing a married couple, sex can wait. I mean, we all know what happens if you put off paying bills or doing laundry. And of course, you can't put off feeding and cleaning an infant. So the "logical" thing to go is sex, because it's the other person in the house who is an adult, and he (or she, in some cases) will not die because he has to wait until things settle down a bit.



Now, that's flawed thinking, because sex is actually a need, and it is extremely important in a healthy marriage. The "put it off because you don't have time for it" idea is what I think causes the consensus of opinion that sex stops after marriage, and I think it's a reasonable fact, actually. Most people do have less sex after marriage, or after they're out of the newlywed phase.



It's not the consensus that needs to be changed, it's the fact that most couples do have a drastic decline in the frequency and quality of sex as the relationship and marriage goes on. One of the best ways I can think of to do this is to change the opinion held by the younger generation about older couples having sex. In my own family, I've been grossed out or shocked when my grandmother (at the age of 68) told me that she and my grandfather still had sex at least twice a weak, of my dad asking for a female perspective (me) regarding he and my stepmom and sex, and my mom (in her late 40's) saying that she "hopes she's not pregnant." I have two siblings, and I was perfectly happy convincing myself that my parents had sex four times (I also know of a miscarriage my mom had before I was born).



However, most women I know (and I used to do this, too) justify the dramatic decrease in sex in marriage as being normal or okay, since it happens in all marriages. I think it would benefit young married women to actually hear from older couples who are still very much in love and have a healty sex life that sex is an important aspect of marriage, and that it needs to continue. I now realize how lucky I am that my grandparents had a healthy sex life for 50+ years, because without it, I don't know that they would have remained happily married for that long.



I must say, I have read some romance novels, they aren't my favorite genre, but even in good romance novels, the characters aren't in their forties, with two kids and in a happy healthy marriage for 20 years. For the most part, romance novels end at the beginning of a long-term relationship, either at the moment the couple realizes they love each other and decide to embark on a relatioship, after the wedding, or in the very early years of marriage. I've never read a romance novel, other than some Christian romance novels, that portrayed a couple in a happy marriage and a healthy sex life AFTER children come along.

Answer 641

because now sex is no problem to get any more. now to change the consensus, we need to keep the fantasy some may have for others and apply it to their marriage, for example roll playing, toys, using every room in the house when OK. back in the car or SUV,how about under the breakfast table with two pillows, hey not forgeting the video camera be your own star it also makes you inprove in many ways, but most of all people needs to be more open to the possibilities.

Answer 642

Hello Jackie u know that's a good ? because i'm going on 13 y. married and it never stopped 4 me!

Answer 643

As the old joke says "What is the greatest deterrent to sex in marriage?" A=The wedding cake stops 97% of all sex.



At first there is lust then love then familiarity then contempt then cheating ending in divorce or a loveless marriage. Marriage is the greatest anti-sex device known to mankind.

Answer 644

because without work from both partners, the sex does diminish

you have to do all you can to keep it exciting. You will find out desire are different than you thought when you were dating. Read to learn even more than you think you already know

Been Married 3 times

Answer 645

I think most people believe sex after marriage stops because the romance stops as well...suddenly, you're *married*, so, it might seem you (or your spouse) doesn't have to try to win your love/interest anymore, since they "have you". Even Mr. Spock said it well in an old episode of Star Trek: "Having is not so much as wanting".

Answer 646

No, it doesn't stop it just slows down a bit. Especially after a couple of kids, you're just too tired to do it every night. It has nothing to do with being married or not. It's more to do with stress, kids, lack of sleep and face it the honeymoon can't last forever!

Answer 647

I think from the start ,sex should be good for both of you.If there is good sex then trust me you can get through anything. I have been married for 25 years and as of late, these have been some of the best years and the sex is still good!

Answer 648

Doesn`t, but one might get interested in sex with other women.I used to have a fixation for other married women. Had marital problems, but somehow managed to survive. I have been a great husband and father, but for a while could not keep my pants on. Consulted marriage counsellor and psychiatrist. They found my wife to be very possesive and a bit stifling. she changed her ways and worked magic on me. They said that I enjoy the thrill and adventure. I`d leave you to judge what to conclude.

Answer 649

I suspect you only hear this from people who have been married for several decades. If a man and a woman is in close proximity, as married people usually are, sex will take place, that's the nature of things.

Answer 650

Yes, sex slows down after marriage, but but it doesn't stop. It changes.



The hot passion of courtship is too intense to sustain itself for a long period of time. It settles into a more sustainable rhythm. Then life intervenes -- jobs, kids, bills, stress. There are times you are just too tired for sex. But the love is still there. The desire is still there. I could see my late husband across a room -- short, graying, a little pot-bellied -- and feel so proud of him my heart could burst. I never lost my passion for him. One night, in the space of one breath to the next, he was gone. Heart attack at age 53.



I was fortunate. Ten years later I met another man who lit my fire. We're older, slower, but still have passion. The desire is there, even when the body doesn't want to cooperate. Sex never stops. It evolves.

Answer 651

girl that consensus is wrong, when you get married is the time to get on bad with your husband. the consensus will not change because people will think what they want.

Answer 652

I think it's one of those "urban legands" that will go on an on no matter what. Personally - my husband and I have been married almost 13 years and we have had sex nearly everyday. Only exceptions are illnesses, female issues, giving birth (we waited the full 6 weeks!), or if one of us was out of town.

Answer 653

well,first solution is " u fine **** some 1 else! yep....u 2 fine 2 worry bout sex! can get it 5 to 10 times a day! there may b more 2 this. is he sexing some 1 else don't have time 4 his wife? bad boy , spank him! they dont get better then u! thats y he married u! well....think u may have 2 open up ur knuckle game!cant c any reason 4 ur sex life 2 b dry! If it keep's up , holla at me! i'll be ur huckleberry suga!

Answer 654

Well i think its stupid!!!

My bedroom is always gonna be rocking!!

whats a marriage without sex!! BOARING i think if you aint having fun in the bedroom its time to try n spice things up! Or move on!!!

TO ALL YOU WIFES OUT THERE!!! BRING ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ALONG!!! i reakon for a man the thought of only having sex with one woman for the rest of your life, would have to be one of the most depressing things to think of!! and you know he aint gonna cheat on you cause he knows you let him bring the hot ones home for you to play with too!!!

Some woman need to expand their minds and stop thinking they are all that and there man should be happy to get laid once a week! if you dont make it fun they will find some one that will!!! LIKE ME LOL

Answer 655

I dont know but that totally sucks I try to make sex w/mf wfe an important everyday thing that I know I always look forward to. I guess you just have to pull out all the stops and find the romance for eachother again.

Answer 656

Psycologically, the word marriage gives a feeling of contentment to each other. It sp appears like a permanency has come within, for each other. Thus arising to take each other for granted. This results to an end of freshness, an anxiety to know each other further.

Variety and innovative ideas can remove many of such problems.

Answer 657

because most couples don't try new and different things with each other. what great fun is it if you don't keep the spark going? that's why it gets boring for both partners. when it comes to awesome sex try and remember that in the bed or out in public you both should act and remember how the anticipation was when you were young again. or the newness of the relationship?

Answer 658

"Familiarity breeds contempt," have you ever heard that axiom? Well, in my humble opinion, sex depends (for a male) upon several factors:



1. Newness. Men are almost 100% visual;

2. Physical health;

3. Physical attraction;

4. Fidelity (emotional and physical);

5. Stimulation; and,

6. Not viewing pornography.



For a female, sex depends on these (and I'm sure many more or different) factors:



1. Emotional attraction;

2. Emotional security;

3. Physical health;

4. Respect for her mate; and,

5. The relative absence of stressors.



For a male, biologically, he must pursue. If he is pursuing his "prey," the chase is some of the most exciting adventurous experiences a couple will ever go through. However, if the predator ever catches the prey, very few predators will immediately consume their prey. If you've ever watched a cat chasing a mouse, or even a moth, this becomes obvious. The cat catches it and then almost immediately releases it so that it may try to run away, so the cat can feel the release of endorphins as it uses it's ancient skills to catch it again. The cat appears literally disappointed when it discovers that it's first strike has killed it's prey. In fact, more often than not, the cat will simply walk away.



The male is almost identical to the cat in this way. The marriage is the catch. Then too often, the prey (wife) simply doesn't try to get away and begins to have children, work outside the home, gain a few unwanted pounds etc., and pretty soon, the hunter is bored. Once the hunter is bored, only his integrity will keep him from wandering. Over 50% of all couples today have realized this dilema and have decided that when the boredom sets in, it's time to start with another partner. However, I believe that the pattern will repeat itself over and over again, unless the partners realize that there are several ways to keep the wife a "prey" that "might get away," if the hunter doesn't keep up the chase. Here is my advice to you dear Jackie:



For Women (Prey) "Do's and Don't":



1. Don't tell everything about yourself, ever! Keep some mystery in the hunter's mind. He will want to stick around because it's still "new," that is, he hasn't "caught" everything about you.



2. Don't let him see you vulnerable - very often. That emotion confirms the hunter's suspicion that he's caught you and you not only are caught, you're unhappy.



3. Look good, lose weight, try to look your best every day. The better you look, the sexier you will feel and the more confidence you will have. Only insecure men eschew confident women. Confident women appear to the predator to be very healthy, sexual prey. Do this for yourself. If you do this for "him," you're already losing the game. You're becoming co-dependent, and that's about the most unhealthy dilemma to find yourself in. When "he" is more important than you are, you lose yourself in him and become even less attractive to him. A woman can "lose herself" in her kids, her housework, his washing, his ironing, his schedule, him, him, him! To be attractive to him, have your own life! Don't tell him about all of it (remember the mystery). He'll be curious about what you do, what you're learning, whether he's got what it takes to keep you! Never stop growing, except in size! Wear your makeup all the time, to impress . . . YOU! Pamper yourself, take yourself out for a manicure, a massage, a new dress, to a women's group, pick up a sport, a hobby, a college course, whatever, but keep growing! If you keep growing, he will always have to stay on his toes to keep you and will never get bored.



4. Don't give him sex everytime he wants it. Don't withhold, but simply be "gone" doing something once in awhile, so that it is too late to have sex. A man/predator, must have the desire, the burn, the passion, the curiousity. If done tactfully (not withholding), he will need it, he won't blame you, after all you didn't withhold from him, you were simply unavailable due to no fault of yours. A man is SO visual, regardless of his level of passion, if he sees the same thing day and night after day and night, he will need something new. You're going to get quite frustrated attempting to be "new" all the time. However, the simple act of not being there all the time, will keep him close by. Absence (a very short one) makes the heart grow fonder! Take a weekend together, regularly, without the kids! Have sex in a tent in the back yard. Grab a bottle of wine, buy a new night gown, join him in the shower!



For the Men (Do's and Dont's):



1. Tell your wife that she is beautiful and mean it, every day! Especially during her child bearing years, your wife's body is taking a beating, gravity is taking it's toll, and for some reason, you don't see your own belly sticking out, but you can immediately notice when her's is! What's with that?! She IS beautiful, and if you don't think so, wait till she divorces you and you see for the first time with her new husband! You'll want to kick yourself all the way to hell and back for failing to notice and compliment her on her beauty! Never, ever mention her weight to her - EVER! Nothing will kill the passion between you faster than a rude, thoughtless comment, or unsolicited response when she asks you, "dear, how do I look in this dress?" She notices every pound she gains, in the most self-defeating way she can. She'll never need your help noticing how she's not quite the prey she used to be.



2. Do your part around the house. Nothing makes a woman want to please her man more than when he actually takes something "off" her plate, instead of (as is usual) putting more on her shoulders! Do your own laundry, ironing, keep the yard mowed, trimmed; pick up after yourself. Make HER dinner, breakfast, wash, fix, scrape the ice off, HER car! Do her dishes, her wash, her ironing!



3. Plan dates, trips, little get-aways, movies, plays, camping excursions. Don't leave the details to her - you plan everything (take something off her plate)! Help by doing the finances if you can, don't burden her with worries! She needs to feel emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically secure!



4. Turn off that damn television! Just turn it off and keep it off! Learn how to listen to her. She wants to talk about her day, herself, you, the kids, your day. Don't say anything, just listen.



5. Make enough money! The second fastest way to crush her passion is for her to worry about supporting your sorry ass! You're the breadwinner, act like it!



Good Luck!

Answer 659

Sex does not stop, it is that other priorities take first place, in other words reality bits. For example one has to wear a new make up to look nicer every day but if you do not wear a make ..it must be a sunday and one does house chores on that day, then next day is Monday again and you wear it.

Answer 660

Because many women use pre-marital sex to "get the guy", and once 'got' they are less inclined . Many women are dis-satisfied with sex before marriage ( what do you expect) and they assume "that's it" ....... so mutual pleasure giving never gets a chance to flourish, interest in sex stays at the level of 'satisfy the guy .... I don't really get much from it'. Also many guys don't really try hard enough to really satisfy their partner - and to continue increasing the pleasures ( which is a lot easier in marriage).

Answer 661

People perpetuate the myth because it's easy to do. There are lots of people out there who aren't having sex with their spouses. They've essentially given up on the relationship and are just riding it out. It's a shame, because they lost sight of why they married their partner in the first place.



My wife and I don't have sex as often, due to 3 young girls running amuck in our house. We're often just dead tired and it's all we can do to make it to bed at night. What we don't do is forget that we love each other. Stolen glances while doing homework with the girls, a quick pinch or spank while dinner's on the stove, even some quick pawing while we're out of sight for a few seconds all remind us we're still madly in love. When we do get the chance to enjoy lovemaking, we truly enjoy that time together.



Sex is as easy to keep going as love. What's hard is not forgetting to make it a daily part of life.

Answer 662

I have been married for 3 years and sex NEVER stopped even when I was Pregnant. In fact it has gotten hotter the longer we are together(going on 7 years)

Answer 663

You need to marry someone who believes strongly in keeping the sex life alive. It can happen. I was married for 10 years, and sex was NEVER an issue in our marriage.. We both enjoyed it several times a week, at times severeal times a day..

Answer 664

It depends on the ralationship. I have been married for years, and our sex life has only been recently affected by my pregnancy. (( I do have step children also )) You just have to keep things fresh, and interesting. Even sometimes that means having sex even if your not in the mood for the benifit of your partner. You get comfortable, and most people don't want to talk about it. They just think things will work themselves out.

Answer 665

I think that people automatically assume that because of the change of lifestyle. When a couple gets married, lots of things change, and sometimes time doesn't allow for lovemaking like before. Things need to get done..

Answer 666

Well it's been written-once married you become lax and forget what drew you together in the first place-keep your marriage exciting consider it a job you must continue to work on relationships. I'm no authority on the subject but been there done that.

Answer 667

It appears that this is only brought to light by people trying to make a living from discussing these things in the media. In reality, the subject rarely arises unless provoked by bravado, drink, dysfunctionality etc. and certainly isnt something that is worth commenting on unless of course you make a career out of it. Anyway to answer your question, it is simply because the majority of people responding to the question agrees with this opinion. Stupid question really.

Answer 668

Women tend to read about "love making", whereas Men are more likely to talk about "sex". Seldom do the two genders cross-communicate their true feelings and desires to the partner of their choice. Women fake Their orgasms rather than saying "No! This is what I want, AND how I want You to do it". Men beleive that We are all good lovers because We are lead to beleive that Our partner has climaxed. Eventually one of Us becomes bored with not getting the "goodies' and gives up pretending to be arroused. So ends the "sex life" of both parties, and begins the steady spiral towards dissatisfaction, adultery and divorce.

Answer 669

It is probably the type of people they are asking.If some people did not have a healthy sex life before they were married they are not going to have one while they are married.My Husband and I always found time.we do have children,but manage to sneak a few shags a day here and there.sex does not have to be in the bedroom only.

Answer 670

because for some people it really STOPS

get married, have 2 kids within 2 years, emotional,financial,physcial stress starts, some couples have no help you need to plan , take a few yrs. before the kids come. build a relationship between the both of you first.

Answer 671

Maybe he thinks now that you are married you don't have to have sex like you did when you where dating or engaged. I would try having a night with candle light dinner, and maybe a massage and work your way from there. Try also adding just a little more spice to everything that you do for him.Good Luck at everything you do.

Answer 672

what happens in alot of relation is that 1. they know they'll be together so they dont rush it 2. Sometimes the man is in the mood & the woman is not or vice versa & thats whenadultry comes in the fights the constant jealousy the arguing & relation are actually thinking of divorce, when all they need is communication within themselves and 3. that bright furiuos burning candle has died out . what should be done is that the man /woman both should invent little gmes ex. play strip truth or dare or cook naked get chocolates whip cream you know that sort off stuff bring back that big sexy firewoman tryin to help a naked defensless man I dunno what adult games are out there I know I aint got nnnoooo complaints

Answer 673

First of all let me say you take a nice picture.

Those that say sex stops when you get married probably never got married or married the wrong person. I personally can't say I agree it stops and I have been married.

Answer 674

in order to keep the sex flowing you have to date and make things interesting and never fall out of love. I feel the way you got him is the way you should always be. For instance, y'all should always have that fire burning inside for each other. When you see each other you heart should still beat fast or skip a beat and you should still blush when he look at you a certain way. someone needs to be more affectionate then the other someone has to keep it going unless he is getting it some where else.

Answer 675

To change this consensus is for both partners to put as much excitement into their marriage as when they first became lovers. Hopefully right after marriage.

Answer 676

Maybe because once you're married sex gets to be too much of a routine. Married couples stop buying sex toys and trying new things. - Variety needs to continue even after you're married.

Answer 677

All of those opinions are probably speaking from experience. It really has to do with KIDS. Once they come your lives are put aside. Before the kids it should still be fun in the sack time. That's how it was for us until the kids came. Now we are lucky if we can even pencil this event in our schedules. BooHoo

Answer 678

I have 7 years married and I realized that sex doesn't mean exactly love... it's hard to believe but love is the power to get over troubles and to find always a way to fight agaisnt the world and keep the relation ship over every thing... Sex is another thing, another fight, sex have to do with ourselvrs, to our fears, traumas, exciting things, and we are always chanching, so our sexuality must change too... but we use to do sex with the same person the same way all life...so, or we find a way to change and keep sex like something new, or we must find other people out marriage to find the bliss that we had before... In my case, I changed and my partner doesn't yet, so I have tried by 2 years to changed our sex relation, to innovate and to get better.... It has been great to me, but doesn't understand yet the meaning to me... I know maybe when he get 40 years old he will understand and look for other ladies outside marriage or maybe he start understand me tomorrow and we could let's this relationship get better...but is a thing about two... I mean is about ourselves deeply inside, to connect ourselfs really and to get contact to each other.. i already get the contact with my self, i am trying to conected with him, but if he doesnt contact with his new himself he will never get connected with my new myself... Hope it helps...

Answer 679

I don't think it's the general consensus at all - you're way off base. People aren't expecting it to stop - they're always shocked, confused and dismayed, as if they thought the honeymoon would last forever.

Answer 680

ok, now i don't think it's that sex stops unless you let it, i think maybe it does slow down and you have to put an effort into making sure it is just as wonderful as before, because through the years kids come your lives get very busy with new things, and maybe you need to make time for it unlike before, i've been married for over ten years it has not stop but did slow down, it's like anything you have to work on it, we have date night, or maybe the kids go to bed sooner, or if i'm to tired i make it up to him in different ways!

Answer 681

I've read a lot of these answerS and I've heard all the excuses to not enough time, to not having anything new to learn about your partner. MAKE TIME! My husband and I have a fabulous sex life becasue we make time, go to bed a little earlier....read up on literotica.com........public places are great too......girls a day for him fishing in the boat can be SOOO MUCH FUN if you both go ;)! Try new things and don't accept any of these excuses. If you love each other...make love, have wild, passionate sex......and above all....TURN OFF THE DAMN TV!

Answer 682

i dont think its marriage that does it. i am women in my early 30,'s i have 4 kids and i have been married for 11 years. when i was in my mid 20's i was having problem of having the urge to have sex but i didnt ever want to. i just did it so my husband wouldnt accuse me. i saw a doc about it and i told him i have been like this a few years after my daughter was born. he told me his theory my sex drive is whacked because my body feels it accomplished everything ti can do in life. or he says i was molested. which i seriously doubt. i think women have this prolem more than men because we get less satifaction in sex. if you want to have a good time you can go out with friends if you want kids have sex. that is the way i look at it. sex causes worries for all of us females.

Answer 683

You both need to work at being the same person you was , when you met and fell in love,,,Seems as if one or both of you , is taking the other for granted now that you are married !!! Marriage needs a lifetime of commitment, dedication and showing the other how much you love , want and need them,,,

Answer 684

The marriage part isnt what killed our sexlife...it was the kids...we have a 22 month old and a 6 month old..by the time bedtime comes...all either of us want to do is sleep...we find time for a quickie maybe twice a month...lately we have recognized the problem and actually now plan a night away once a month for ourselves

Answer 685

i think, male or female, the biological needs of the human being goes far and beyond our little world of codes and ethics. believe me i think, like a river, like a song, like breeze, like a cloud, man or woman will have always a longing TO MEET THE NEW TO TOUCH THE NEW TO FEEL THE NEW and this is a passion of biological need and we cannot understand it. this is the reason for relationships falling apart. there are exceptions where both are satisfied and have lesser needs or preoccupied with activities. the world is now going in for removing the statutory girdles binding him/her and the indivdl wants to be free. man and woman relationships may not be the same now or in future.

d parameswaran , poet, writer, and

man and society =project director

sunflowerdance.com

india

Answer 686

Couples have sex more than ten times before getting married and not only with their partner so once their are married they stop being the same with each other,it has to do with domestic violence and so on.

Answer 687

You know what. I think that statement is a lie. especially having experiences with women with high sex drives. I only think that applies to people that abuse sex and do it so much that it becomes lame. I am a firm believer in balance and if you have that .. you have an abundance of sex married or not.

Answer 688

Not every marriage/relationship is the same. It's a give and take and not to be taken lightly.

You get out of it what you put into it.

However there are some selfish people who think they will

have sex and that's all they want, others want to include a

family.

Sex stops when one quits giving and starts taking the other

for granted.

Answer 689

It's because that generally happens, but that is their fault. I tuely believe that no matter how long you have been married, you need to MAKE time to pay attention to eachother and your needs. Get rid of the kids for at least one weekend a month.....and pay attention to just the two of you. MAKE it a habit to try new things, take turns, etc. They even have books out there.....me and my fiance, who have 4 kids together, bought "1000 nights of great romance" and on our one weekend a month we take turns fulfilling that great night for eachother. Its fun and gives us something to look forward to. And we make it a point to make love at least once a week. NO EXCUSES. that would have to be the #1 rule. People make too many excuses and get lazy and unattentive after marriage because they believe that is the norm.......people need to stop being a stereotype and make a marriage. You have control of your sex life after marriage.

Answer 690

Is it the consensus of women or of men? I don't believe men see it that way, at least those I know. I do know that women appear to lose interest in sex as they get older.

Answer 691

Don't get married . . . lol. seriously though

i've been married 40 years and still loving it sex or no sex, but then i'm married to an angel so i couldn't tell you about mortal women. take care . . .



hummm btw Jackie Collins, your not he romantic novel writter are you?

Answer 692

The problem is, that, when you have years of marriage, the change of when the sex stop, I would say that , with so many problems,( working,bills,financial problems,taking care of children) there has to be both partners working, witch leads to tiredness, fatigue and so forth, people get tired, and when they go home, all they want to do is sleep. It doesn't mean that they don't love their partner

Answer 693

I have no idea,but it's just not true unless you want it to be.I believe that whatever happens in anyones life is due to how they make it. I've been married for ten tears and we've been togather fifteen years,and quite frankly sex only gets better the more years you have to perfect it with the right person.

Answer 694

Get people to understand that life doesn't change. In reality the partner is always there. One does not have to go out and date to get lucky. They can get lucky anytime one wants. That is if the other is really in love. Some couples need to be more honest and visit some of the shops my husband and I shop at. It is sooo much fun.

Answer 695

It is so important to keep your love life alive, my husband and I have been married for 13yrs and hardly a day goes by where we don't make love. We try new things, surprise one another, have fun, make time for date night. Good luck. You have to work on a relationship EVERY DAY not just once in a while. You get out of your marriage, what you put in it.

Answer 696

I dont think it even has anything to do with sex , I think that the bad things a couple sometimes does to one another causes them to loose interest in love making, when my man treats me good Im all for it anytime anywhere but when he is bad I would rather chew my finger off than please him. So I would say its all emotional rather than loss of interest. I think couples that go out of their way to make each other happy can have a great sex life 4-ever

Answer 697

after 23 years with the same woman sex is still great im 54 she 49 it get better every year question dad what did you wear in the olden days to pervent s.t.d.s. ansewr son we wore a weddind band from someone hwho remembers when air was clean and sex was dirty.amen luv DAD basic jnstructions before leaveing earth.bible

Answer 698

Blame it on the media. Many people are happy in their marriages until they read about this certain "consensus".

Throw the books away, turn the tv off, jump in the pool nude!! Yeehaaaa

Answer 699

I will certainly say that things change...what once was simple, spontanious, and very expectable, has become scarce, and elusive. Anybody in a marriage with uncontrolled stress, money worries, and dirty dishes or laundry, is going to suffer.

Or I could be the only man on the planet whose wife is easily distracted...sure that must be it.

Answer 700

it is a common cliche that makes people laugh. I'm sure it is true for many people who are together awhile, that the sex gets less dynamic, but that is there faults. if they both want great sex then they should be doing whatever it takes to make it fantastic, not blame each other for the reason of the week.

Answer 701

Hello Jackie!

I'm still single and my answer base on details heard from few friends who are currently married. YES IT'S TRUE,THAT WHEN YOU GET MARRIED SEX STOPS according to them...For BOTH feel it as something lacking in the relationship; most says from anxiety, disturbed interperpersonal relationship,depression...some says from communication problems,lack of affection,conflicts,lack of times,excessive stress and sooo TIRED...these are their common complaints and cause for lack or low sex desire.

In my opinion, SEXUAL TECHNIQUE, EDUCATION AND PRACTICAL WAYS ARE NEEDED TO ENHANCE SEX LIFE.

Answer 702

true it is very hard to juggle jobs, kids,and time for your spouse, so yes sex does slow down some but it is also important to make sure you take time for each other too...my husband and i were just joking today about how it has been 3 weeks and it hasn't even seemed that long because we got so busy but we also own our own business which takes up alot of time...time flies when you are so busy with everything else... been happily married 6 yrs...together 9 yrs

Answer 703

It's like the old saying that you have too test drive the car before you buy it. It runs great for a couple of years but it starts to break down and it's not the same car from when you 1st bought it. So if you can't maintain the car you buy another one.........simple

Answer 704

Consensus of who? Sex is an part of marriage but not central. Marriages based on sex will quickly die. A happy marriage doesn't just "happen" . it takes effort, creativity, sensativity.

Answer 705

Interesting? I am more inclined to believe it stops after a child is born in many instances. Age groups would vary.. i am sure there is some slow down because of the strain of everyday life. together. As always it would be a mental feeling of do we have to, or of lack of newness.

Answer 706

Sex is best when you both want it with each other and you want to please the other. All the other life things come into play once married and sex may not be the most important thing in your relationship. I mean I would date a girl just because she is real sexy and great in bed but I wouldn't marry her just for that.

.

Answer 707

this is why I feel marriage if held with a centered point on sex never lasts for long refreshingly...

you see we give more importance to physical lifestyle and senses... rather than strengthening emotional bonds.

In India I see there are women who still enjoy better even long after marriage..! The key factor, they respect each other, are inextricably incorporated emotionally and they love each other as per definition of love.....



One more thing which is considerably responsible for this problem is lack of experimenting guts..!

When once you get the taste of experimenting at sex on bed with your partner.. you try evry time new moves..you see the sex lasts forever..........

you see human nature is addicted to see changes.. and when you carry out a thing monotonously it really sucks afterwards and you feel to bear the load of it...unwillingly

Answer 708

Cause it just does. Its called ROUTINE! Even If you are a sex mad freak and you are lucky enough to find a nympho, sure it will be 'unbelievable' (for a while). even you will both get bored and start swinging or looking for 3somes. its just human nature. always looking for something that 'little bit better'. That other side of the fence.....Nothing can be done. People are people....they will never be satisfied!

Answer 709

awww come on people u know that the number 1 problem here in marriages is ........ people marry cause they in lust not love! loveeeeeee is totally different . so in a few months or less man or woman cheat cause they already are tired of that lust, they though it was love ........... so they stay in marriage cause of kids or money!! man stay cause wife cooks and clean house for him too ...... iron n stuff like that also they stay cause they dont want to sleep alone . simple and really. each find sex somewhere else because of all these reasons !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gives them back the lusttt they once had! n u know its true!!!!!!! so u ask what can be done???????





Marry for love not lust !

U can have both when in love!

Answer 710

People usually date about a year before they get married. That is also the time when the honeymoon heart great sex period ends. Bad timing ya know?

Answer 711

Get some toys!!!!! They can make all of the difference. Even after a long day at work and with the kids, when I hear the 'humm' of that battery operated device my husband better what out.



But don't use the toys all of the time, just when you need that extra flare or boost. It gets to where you have to have them EVERY time if you get too use to them.

Answer 712

Sex does not have to stop.If you are a moral person,you should not be engaging in sex BEFORE marriage.

Generally sex stops because of work ,bills and kids. Also,some women lose interest in sex after the second or third kid.

My wife had no interest in sex except when she wanted to get pregnant.

Answer 713

Driving a car with licence is no thrill. Thrill ends on getting the driving licence. Similarly, licence to sex (marriage) is the end of thrill. Some of the couples can enjoy the sex life after seperation. Try it and you will not regret.

Answer 714

Well the wife sets the mood and the rules. Women get bored with their husband after a while. So when i get married i know it will be good at first, but u got to make sure your wife gets pleasure every time.Don't leave her hanging. Make her want to have sex.

Answer 715

That depends entirely on the issue(s). First you need to find out what the issue(s) is that is turning down the flame i.e. Kids, Financial, Stress, Growing apart, then you go from there. The beauty of it is there are no "sure things" that can fix this. Both have to be open and be able to express themselves. Both have to come into an agreement as to how to resolve the issue(s). Both have to put forth an effort.



With kids in the home, it is easy to loose where you are because your focus turns to them and you need to invest in family or babysitters to GET OUT and re-spark your interest in each other.



Financial it is easy because you are so focused on getting ahead you forget who you are trying to get ahead for. You need to invest in a planner and pencil in your love.



Stress (could go on and on with this because it falls into so many different areas.



Growing apart maybe because you are not sure this is the person you married, well hello it isn't anymore, everyone grows and changes and you cannot stop that communication and doing things together helps you grow together instead of apart.



You cannot plant a seed and just hope it grows, you have to give it all the things it needs to grow. The key for all of these is TALK. You need to go out and enjoy the sunshine together, dance in the rain for the heck of it, learn to cook because what you put in can greatly alter what comes out, you need to love it to remember that you care for it to remember you need to continue caring for it.



Happy healthy things that get these key ingredients produce...even relationships.



If you fall apart, or out of love find a way to fall in love all over again.



If old things do not work...maybe because they are getting old, try new things. There is a huge world out there you can find something.



Instead of saying Why? Say why not!



Being together is hard, that is why it is easier to say I am not in the mood, and that is what makes the grass greener...what you put in it is what you get out, people forget that.

Answer 716

What i beleive is that men think is that diversity is no longer possible as soon as they got married. They begin to experience this frustration thinking that they will have to eat the same thing forever. Women have to demostrate to men that excitement can be better in the matrimony than during they were just lovers.

Answer 717

I don't know where that idea came from. I have a lot of older couples in my life who have healthy sex-lives and that gives me encouragement as I get older. I think if more married couples discussed the issue that stigma might go away.

Answer 718

Because, it does. You cannot for 6 weeks. After that you're too tired. The husband only considers his needs and not yours, during this period of a newborn in the family. You get resentful, and sex is never the same. Sorry....

Answer 719

well,i can say this that you must sit down and allow yourself some quiet time to see,when,where, and why this has become a problem in my life,and who is doing what i should be doing with my husband;so this is aself inventory check,and solve the problem so a solution can be presented to solve the unhappiness in our marriage;you see god almighty can fix this problem to cause the love back in the home because respect has gone for each other and their is no love there;so we must see each other as god almighty see you all as one,not twine any more,okay!trust need to re-enter your heart again!be bless&trust when you kneel and pray i guarentee a change will come that what god almighty will do and that is guarentee a change in your home,marraige,life, and of course your future together will be turned around! Prayer change things, i do not care what it is try today and write me back;god bless you!

Answer 720

Like everything in life you get accustom or content. Most couples stop trying to keep that passion alive. We get caught up in the monotny of everday life , sometimes it overwhelms us, it takes true energy to keep the passion but I think in the end its very well worth it .

It's like eating pizza everday but adding spice, change never knowing or expecting the same thing over and over again that's what will keep the hunger alive.

Answer 721

It only stops b/c u want it to married 6 years sex a least twice a day when hubby's here and not working

Answer 722

I definitely don't think that sex stops when you get married! I've been with my husband for 6 years and we're still going strong as ever! I actually think that it's gotten better over time because we have learned more about one anothers bodies.

Answer 723

Don't have a lot sex before you get marry. Sex gets boring if you do the same thing over and over. Change it up a little.

Answer 724

I think it does not specifically stops but only lessen because of added responsibilities, because of pressure from building a house to making a home, unlike when you're not married both of you just enjoy the time being together.

Answer 725

Statistics say that while people think sex stops with marriage that the opposite is true. Married people have WAY more sex than single people We all just hope it's with their spouse :)

Answer 726

In marriage it's all about daily imagination and desire to have a good sex life as long as we can..well it's stop just because most of woman's stop to be what they are before marriage.sexy.hot.romantic.ready for any time and any where etc..etc.make her day a new and first day everyday..The men what they want is a woman ,a wife.a mother a Friend ,a ***** etc...be all this and see what's happened..good luck

Answer 727

I don't believe it stops, but after awhile when you are in a relationship, you just get comfortable with your mate,and it doesn't seem to be all that important. When you start a relationship, everything is exciting and new, and the newness wears off, and people fall into a pattern.

Answer 728

This is much true of a feeling & a feedback from those who have experienced that fact...



TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF THIS SITUATION:



When you know (something) is yours some how, or belongs to you or even related to you in a way or another, you wouldn't worry much about not having (it), loosing (it) or getting a hold of (it) ALMOST anytime you desire to...



This kind of a feeling gets established amongst couples, and tends to create a kind of an atmosphere between Married Couples that tends to be best described as:



"BROTHERHOOD WITH FLESH" if you like; especially after extended periods of times living together, where we r talking about a number of years...



She is infront of him just like he is infront of her at all times, so NOT MUCH OF WORRY about NOT HAVING EACH OTHER AT ANY TIME...!!



Sex DOES NOT ACTUALLY STOP more than gets lessened to a big extend; yet again depending on the nature of HIM & HER in the first place...



Up there...I had the word (SOMETHING) between brackets, and so was the case with the pronoun (IT)....and this is where I think we could be able to change this CONSENSUS...



Couples should always regard each other as precious living souls which were meant to belong to one another for ever & at all times...



It is up to HER to make HIM see to it that sexual life will always be present between the Two of Them just as it is the case it is up to HIM to make HER realize that SHE will always be HIS desired will for ever & at all times...



BEST WAY IN MY OPINION...



Is to get out of the house...out there....in the open....under skies... behind a big tree...or at the lake side...or in the car...

yet away from people....and DISCRETELY...demonstrating to one another how much HE values every single detail in HER while giving HER the opportunity to value HIM however SHE likes in a LIKE-WISE MANNER with much of appreciation & conscent...



This should make Them back again on the right track...



Other ways could be found of course...purpose of which to trigger desire to the maximum possible & potential limit...; i.e., attending Wild Parties & the like....and worst of all attending Sessions...where it shouldn't really be needed for a situation like that...



Hope this makes sense to u Mme.

Answer 729

Don't get married!!! Or have each of U read the book Lighting Her Fire and Lighting His fire!!

Good reads.

I was married he was a jackass so am happily single and loving it!!

As for the sex well who needs it after being married to a selfish male pig?

Answer 730

I don't know what's wrong with Jeanna's marriage because I've been married 23 years and " swinging from chandeliers" is what happens at my house. We have sex more now than 20 years ago. Good stuff too.

Answer 731

Sex doesn't stop after marriage, but married people generally don't discuss their sex lives, so it's believed that sex has stopped. In order to have a good marriage, there has to be sex.

Answer 732

Sex with the one you married may slow down but doesn't stop. On the other hand, sex outside of marriage, even if it's just idle daydreaming, sure starts up.

Answer 733

Because once you get Married you Start Other Things And sex becomes a chore

Answer 734

The thrill of the chase is the main turn-on. We get bored with it when it is readily available.Wives like to use sex as a punishment by taking it away when the husband isn't doing what she wants him to do. Usually women only start that after marriage.And most men like to be kept on edge whether they will "score" or not. After marriage it tends to become routine.And after kids, working all day, stress, it is harder to be imaginative like you are during dating.

Answer 735

I'd say this depends on the relationship. I was married for 23 plus years. My wife started having affairs during the last 2+ years, so that did us in. She couldn't handle the guilt, even though I was trying to forgive her.



The marriage was full of ups and downs and certainly sex. It began to wane when her criticism of me, my ways, my everything began to put a damper on everything. She was always ugly about our discussions, always trying to one-up me in conversations.



"It's hard to kiss the lips at night that have been chewing your ass all day".

Answer 736

because when dating, men do all the romantic things that make women want to give themselves. then that stops so does the sex. no woman wants to be used just for sex. but that prolly goes both ways, sometimes women have sex to keep a man. when you are married, both people think they can stop doing things to keep you together. if men and women both kept doing the things they did when dating, no one would lose anything.

Answer 737

Society over time has the idea of this free love sexual revolution stemming from the 60's that has never left us. So by virtue of being tyed down to one person people have come to believe that they no longer have this free love and should give up trying to find sexual pleasure all together.

Answer 738

I think that some women want that prize I am a woman and from differant things I have heard from my guy friends is she was a "freak" until she got ahold of my bank account now she is a scary card holding shopper it seems that she enjoys that more but I also have to say I have heard this from more than one or two sources!

Answer 739

I don't know about anybody else, but for me it is a total lack of interest on my husbands part. He doesn't make any effort with me, and I guess he just assumes that I will always be there and just takes my presence for granted. Having said that though, I do believe, I still need to instigate it and dress up for it, for the sake of our marriage. Sad but true.

Answer 740

Because the woman now has her "catch", her paycheque so to say, already hooked. So she has no need to "put out" any more. Ask any married man and he will tell you the same answer. In short, never get married if you want to continue to have sex guys. She is only stringing you along until she can get you to say "I do" so that she can say "I have a headache tonight". To change this situation...... simple, don't ever get married.

Answer 741

I can only assume it's because before your married you make sure you make time for that special time. After your married you often have more responsibility and you figure well we're married now I'll just take me a little nap and get some later.

Answer 742

A dedicated two nights of the month where each individual opens an envelope of the others fantasy. Just simply play things out.

Answer 743

Think Brad and Angelina!!!



Clearly Brad wasn't getting any from Jen, so here comes hotty Angelina and wham-bam-thank-you-Ma'm and bye-bye Jen. :-(



I doubt this weird idea of no sex after marriage will ever go away. I know that other things do get in the way of sex, kids, pets, work.... finding time is more difficult now.

Answer 744

once people give up their 'freedom' others seem to think that your sex life comes to an end too. you cannot change the opinion of the entire world. it is unconceivable to a lot of people that one wishes to have sex with only one person. society has a lot to do with it. there are a lot of stories about 'swingers' and the 'single' way of life that people tend not to believe that you can still have fun, and sex, after marriage. nothing that you or I do or say is going to change one single thing.

Answer 745

let me tell you what the priest that married my husband and I said " you must treat sex like food, either you stop at Mc Donald's for a quick bite to eat, or you sit down to an all you can eat buffet.....YOU HAVE TO EAT! If you don't you will starve and the Marriage will fail. Good advice.

Answer 746

I believe that is a mind set the people fall into when they get married. I believe people fall into a role when they get married and that leaves less time for the passion. So i have discovered that you have to push some of the oles aside and get adveturise and if you get bored experment men love it.

Answer 747

I don't know about the consensus....but I personally think that only "forbidden sex stops"......truthfully , I think that because it is not the only thing that now holds people together , sex gets to be in its proper place and that it isn't number one .....anymore.

Answer 748

My mind says it is because most of us aren't very good at being responsible for our own needs-emotionally. We put expectations on our partners to meet our unspoken (sometimes spoken) needs, and then we blame and guilt and shame them for not meeting what is actually our responsibility in the first place.

Makes sense to me that sex would not be much fun with all that going on.

Well...I am doing something about it...I am taking responsibility for my own **** and having great married sex with my hubby!!

Answer 749

well kind of a no brainer. the majority of women loose there desire after having kids and once they settle into a lifestyle with someone. How can it be changed I have been working on that answer for 20 years.



consider this

when a women married she hopes her man will change, evolve,grow up



men hope their wives will remain the same forever.

Answer 750

I have no idea where that comes from. I've been married 19 years and the sex is better now than it was in the beginning. Is it just comedians saying this?

Answer 751

I have found my own method of keeping the sex in marriage wonderful...I just married a man who is 26 yo. I, on the other hand, have just gracefully turned 49.



There is a reason it's a cliche.

Answer 752

it's just like anything else, you get tired of the same thing all the time, but when you are married and dedicated the only thing you can change is positions. your new ways might not be what he lilke ,so you began to fantasise about your way and that's what make it not so good anymore because you are not getting what you want. i believe that's why some people cheat.

Answer 753

People think when a couple marries, other things become more important then sex. That is a myth. Sex is a important part of a healthy relationship.

Answer 754

Little words having big meaning

Good Question

but all that is laugh subject, you can get good relation ship I think when love your consort, and make high enjoy between them when reach to the top point of from loving between them.

Sorry You talked about relation between humans not having feelings, correction your idea because is good to keeping the life

Answer 755

A lot of women probably feel that the drive isn't there as much, with work, stress, and other things going on, most women are too tired to have sex, but that all depends on the woman of course too ^-^

Answer 756

the American people have to work so hard to make ends meet also as we grow older our bodies do also between working taking care of the children worrying about bills etc. does that help you understand years ago people had many children but the women did not work they stayed home and cared for the family while the man worked they had no TV computers video games etc what else could they do

Answer 757

Sex in the shower(or tub) is perfect for overworked spouses. The shower is refreshing and revitalizes both of you.



Go to bed really early with your spouse.



You and your spouse take a random day off togethe

Answer 758

It is so because it is true. Men change, women have more responsibility and so they don't have time to be a mattress. They are dead beat after work (housework or career)as the man does not help. To change it......do not get married!!

Answer 759

i have been in a relationship for 8 years and it has stopped..so the consensus is right in my opinion

Answer 760

I think we fall into the routine of things and just keep adding on to our busy lives until we have no time or energy. I think we can change this by committing more to each other and trying to reduce the amount of stress in the home. Take a weekend off. No kids. No work. Just each other.

Answer 761

I really think that it is the "single world" putting that thought into peoples heads, because obviously when you ask a married couple about sex you get a totally different answer.

Answer 762

for people who think that it does, they're wrong. yes while sex does seem to come to a screeching hault after marriage with kids, it doesn't. it is a little harder to find the time but thats where communication comes in. besides, you didn't get married just to have sex. if you did, you're in for a world of emotional and painfull tourment. cause it won't last.

Answer 763

There should be good understand among the husband and wife. If they can let and respect their partner desire, then there won't be any conflict to change the consensus.

Answer 764

Because that's the concensus people have portrayed and allowed to be believed.Some people still feel shame in such open honesty and some feel the need to just go with the flow of what everyone else says to fit in.

Answer 765

Keeping the fire alive is hard after marriage, but worth it. Women find it hard to juggle all that goes with marriage..kids..house..job..the man usually suffers...but it can work. Playing fantasy ganes dressing up..playing cops and robbers..lol. You just have to try. Don't be afraid to ask for help so you can have date night..or take off for a hotel even if its 5 miles away its so exciting to have away sex...

Answer 766

Unfortunately this is true for some marriages,but statistics prove most of us are still doing it at an average a 3 times per week!

Answer 767

I have been married 30 years and the sex is the best ever. Just keeps getting better. Don't know who you have been talking to.

Answer 768

NOTHING!! I am a married woman and I don't get that right to withhold sex, he does it to me. I am however 12yrs younger and I just think he can't keep up with me...lol! I think I have a pretty HOT husband so maybe it isn't he is with holding, maybe it is because I just can't get enough of him, YUM, YUM!!!!!! WE are happily married by the way. The bottom line is, people who with hold sex from there spouse is only hurting themselves and they cain't deny it, all it is it is a CONTROL THING of well you don't do what I say you an't getting any of this.............

Answer 769

I have never heard that!

Ive been married nearly 18 years and it gets better.

My husband lies to his mates a lot and says the only way to get me out of bed is to jump in with me. But he said he doesnt want his mates to know what a good thing he's on to...Men, they lie..so maybe this is why the stats are wrong.

Answer 770

It doesn't stop for another 10-12 years after you get married. It slows down at an inversely proportional rate until it stops. I'm still studing the problem and will be working on a solution. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 771

Sex doesn't stop after marriage. My wife is still the hottest girl I have ever seen, even after 14 years f marriage. However, kids do put a strain on the partnership. After taking care of your kids all day, and working all day, it kind of saps your strength.

Answer 772

All people want is to please themselves so sex is blown up into a major thing where people think that if you don't have sex every day then it is a problem. But God didn't create us to be sex machines, satisfying our own desires and lusts. He commanded

us to be fruitful and multiply, to replenish the earth.



And since sin was in the world from Lucifer (the fallen angel) and Adam through disobedience to God, God made a way for us to come out of this carnal, lustful nature and to become new creatures in Him through Jesus Christ His Son, no longer to live unto ourselves but unto Him who died for our sins and rose again from the dead so that we would crucify the lusts of the flesh and sin, and live in the newness of life in the Spirit of God.



I thank God for His love, grace, mercy, longsuffering... toward us cuz He could have just left us to be cast into Hell and the lake of fire because of our sins.



But He showed His love for us through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.



Sex is just for a time. And I don't think it's such a good bargain to enjoy the pleasures of this world for a season and to live in Hell forever.



Jesus has a better bargain. Believe in Him and receive everlasting life. And don't be afraid, He will send His Holy Spirit in you to keep you unto the end.

Answer 773

It doesn't stop completely. It just isn't like when you first start getting to know someone sexually anymore. You know when you crave them every second and every-time is a new adventure. Once you're married for a while you become familiar and comfortable w/your spouse, and if you let it that spark will fade away...

Answer 774

Maybe because when they didn't have each other there, they have sex all the time as much as they can, and then when they finally get marry, they know that they can have sex when ever they want to, and because it just gets kind of tiring afterwards.

Answer 775

Because most of the time sex does stop.when we were dating we screwed like sex crazed rabbits.Then I got pregnant and house payments,having a decent running vehicle,paying bills,cleaning up behind the family,not getting much help from anyone,then more babies,more mess and no help.the house is falling apart,the yard looks like a junk yard,the vehicle is falling apart,this is not what I wanted for me or my children but when I married him I loved him and I still love him today I just can't place sex as any sort of priority in my life.It bugs me that he can't better things for us but his satisfaction gets met.My satisfaction lies with my kids and always will.

Answer 776

I dont agree with that!If you are deeply in love with each other why that things happen that way?I guess couples now a days tend to focus on their jobs and not on their spouses.That's why there is mis understanding between them.We should try to balance things up including our love ones because that is how we can be fulfilled emotionally and psychologically.Life can be that mesirable if we're not satisfied with what we have...

Answer 777

sounds like somone has a old fashion way of thinking.they would probably have separate beds as well most people now a days look for the right person to fulfill a void that is left in their lives since they where hurt by someone years ago.

Answer 778

People don't realize how hard it is to keep a relationship goin well..Comunication, understanding,compasion, trust and alot of hard work..LOL

If u don't have any of that well then time to concider ending it or work it out...even in the bedroom! People get bored there are damages that accure in relationships, talk to your wife about whats goin on in the bedroom department. U might have to spice it up!

Answer 779

I just got married and it seems that married couples do not make time the way they did when they were just dating.

Married couples need to make sure that love making is a priority in the relationship and they have to work at making love making exciting rather than mundane

Answer 780

Tis but an interesting insight, this question, into the minds of those who answer.

Depends ...., where do your priorities lie? Have you found the 'one'. Is your life about the chase and conquer??

Marry the 'one', feel safe in your knowledge of the security of your union. Have sex, don't have sex .... either way be happy.

Why do you ask? Are you about to be married : )

Answer 781

Well...you are wooed with the champagne and red roses...you live with the dirty dishes and dirty jeans. The excitement of seeing your partner dwindles...because you are spending too much time together. There is lesser romance and more responsibilities...bills to pay, dishes to wash, flats to clean...its not all a bed of roses....thus the romance dies down. Sex is just sex....it ceases to be making love after a while.

Answer 782

Because it is true. The sex does stop, but it doesn't have to. Make sure you make the effort to keep your mate interested in you. Make sure when your mate gets off work that he/she can't wait to get home and see you. Create peace at home and it will ease the stress in the marriage, and you will want to do some things with your mate.

Answer 783

It is hard for me to turn onto having sex with a member of the family household. To me it seems very much like incest. Also, I like the idea of only doing it with a guy who is date ready and who I have never seen sick or moody, etc. I guess Johnny Cash had me pegged when he sang "She's just a honky tonk girl."

Answer 784

I believe people confuse the loss of that initial infatuation with a lack of sex. I've been married 20 yrs. and we still have sex believe it or not! We try to keep things interesting and it helps to keep it exciting.

Answer 785

Im married and sex has not stopped. 2 years and going strong, keep the love alive people. Invent and have fun with the person you love.

Answer 786

Sex doesn't stop but becomes boring.Because men want to get it over with and not meet the woman's needs.They wait till she is too tired or is not in the mood.Communication is what is needed.If you ever find out what the answer is .Let me know.

Answer 787

Both partners need to be more compatible before marriage and after marriage. The passion must exist before and after marriage. Both partners must have mutual respect for each other and honestly enjoy each other's company - otherwise, there would be no reason to stray. Reading your romance novels would help tremendously as well - LOL.

Answer 788

well ,i think it has something to do with the culture.i dont mean to critisize any.however,it is really common in us that bf and his gf live together.then after a period of time ,they will get married or apart.so to some extent, it is acceptable that when people get married,sex stop.'cause they've had enough,or they cant act like the first time.the feelings are gone

Answer 789

Keep in mind that just because you are married does not mean that the relationship is 100 percent. You still have to keep the fire strong. Explore new sexual things, studying porns helps alot because they will show you how to express that sexual side I believe everyone has

Answer 790

Gee, that sure wasn't true when I married my husband. He kept coming up with new things to try that kept our sex life new and interesting. After 20 years though, it got kinda routine but there still was sex. It never stopped till I left him.

Answer 791

It's up to the couple. People tend to do everything in there power to get the person but don't know how to keep them. We get so caught up in our every day lives they we forget what it was like before the marriage.What you do to get them must continue to keep them. Just keeping a little excitement in the bedroom try spicing it up a little. That's just a misconception of married life.

Answer 792

let me tell you that when you get married sex dosent stop it just gets better because you are with the right person and you get to know each other and find out what works. for those who have trouble they need to go to the dr and see if it is something going on with hormones or side affects of meds

Answer 793

its good at first and you begin to grow more intimate with one another and your love deepene and the trust issue is pretty much concrete then here come the silly azz girlfreinds and the woman listening to there lies... and it makes good married woman wonder .. what it really feels like to fool around and they fianally try it and boy!! do they try it.. come back home all nice and fresh might i have you.... and tired as hell.. thinking about somebodyelse in there mind but got there husband laying next to them.. wondering what is the mater..... and pretty soon you both get mad and angry and she says something realy gifted and intellengent like " is all you want me for is just to have sex"

and there girls freinds are laughin there azzes off behind there back.... and the married couple ends up ruined..... married couple don't need to tell about nothng in the bedroom... continue to wraping you husband up in the figure eight position...lol.. if you haven't did it.... just keep trying.....

and keep people and that goes for them noise ************* church folk too .. out of your busisness

Answer 794

Absolutely not. It is a part of married life and is to be shared by Two only. That is the crux of life. No indulgence is the basic feature for successful married life.

Answer 795

I think that we have a tendency to take each other for granted and let themselves go a little too much. Not always. I had an aunt whose husband got up every morning to sing the Miss America song to her. She set the alarm every morning to get up before him and put her make-up on, just for him. They lived that way for 55 yrs. until he passed away.

Answer 796

it depends on the couple, you got to keep it hot and fresh even after you have gotten married. but it's consensus opinion cuz normally couples figured they settled down found their life partner now they dont have to try so hard in most aspects.

Answer 797

I have been married for three years and the sex has never stopped. You have to keep it interesting and fun. My husband and I have always had amazing sexual chemistry. I believe if you have this then you won't have as many problems in that department.

Answer 798

Sex should start when you get married not stop. If you are a church going person like me then you would know sex is wrong without marriage.

Answer 799

I have been married for 34 years. Sex started to drop off after 20 years. At this point I have to wait between 6 to 8 weeks for it. and it's not worth it almost over before you start..

Answer 800

Because when you get married, you know you can do it anytime, and you wake up with each other, so it becomes tomorrows issue.we can do it tomorrow and it doesn't happen.you have a hard day at work, so you go have a drink or two with your partner, and when you get home either she is too tired or early start, so she goes to bed.have you noticed always the females are the ones, they are not willing......

Answer 801

Sex didn't stop for us until we reached the 15th year. We still have sex, but now about twice a month whereas it used to be twice a day. Why did it stop? I think my husband is bored. He wants a change, but he won't cheat so he just has lost his desire.

Answer 802

ive been told that it is becasue after marriage comes children, after children comes 6wk celibacy causing either emotional frustration on both parents or one of the partners strays from the relationship...i would suggest talking. have a deep conversation about things you'd both like to try during sex and compromise. a spice here and there does wonders.

Answer 803

It is probably because young people do not like to think of their parents and grandparents doing the deed. I have 19 children and 12 grandchildren and my husband and I are as active as ever (I did not give birth to 19 I raised 19 and though not biologically they are my children.

Answer 804

When I was single I would always tell my friends stories when I had "scored" Now that I am married I don't share any stories. Ever hear of the "sanctity of the marriage bed". I love and respect my wife, it's no ones business what we do or how often we do it.

Answer 805

Sex stops when you get married? Then how do people who are married have kids? Is it in vitro every time? Or just a stork?



And if sex stops after marriage, why get married?

Answer 806

Oh my it picked up by 3 fold easily. We enjoy marriage and sex very often. But at the same time we still go on dates, do picnics, and a myriad of other "courtship" type things.

Answer 807

are you really gonna read this - somehow I doubt it...I think the media only focuses on non-married sex...maybe if you right a sexy book about all the hot and horny couple who are having lots of marital sex you can change that - GO JACKIE

Answer 808

Well sorry 4 that;.......... He had too mush of it when u people were stil dating so that´s why he does not what it anymore. I will say change ur hair syl maybe that might help.



Please tell ur children not 2 have too mush sex b4 marriage. Take dis advice it wil help ur generation from dis same problem.,,,

Answer 809

I know for me it did. I wanted to make love to my ex and my current wife. But they don't want as much. Maybe they relax and think I have him and don't have to do it as much. I try to make love to my current wife and 50% of the time she says she is tired or she just lay there like she is dead. I am not talkiong about everyday. A couple of times a week or once a week. I am 14 yrs older than my current wife. She is 34 I am 48. I love to feel her next to me and feel he making love. But I guess I am that attracted. hope this helps you. I do try to change it up to keep it fresh.

Answer 810

I wouldn't say it stops, but it sure does slow down quite a bit. You're busy with work, house stuff, family and so forth. At the end of the day you are so tired you just want to sleep.

Answer 811

it doesn't stop but maybe b/c sex gets routine and or boring in some marriages it appears that way oh as well wen people date they don't have the worries of life to distract them then you marry all of a sudden the responsibilities of life distract you from each other

Answer 812

I think married people have more sex and for a much longer period of time. I dare say it is even better sex with someone you know, trust and can be completely open with.



This of course refers to two married people with healthy attitudes towards and appetites for sex.

Answer 813

It depends on the couple. My 1st husband stopped sex when we got married (now he can't get it up with the new wife). I warned her to and she didn't beleive me. Ha Ha ! ! Serves him right. However my husband and I have a great sex life after 22 years and it will continue.

Answer 814

No it won't stop unless both stop loving eachother or stop loving sex atleast!!!! So now we know what has to done (or taken care of) Do DO love your partner as you used to (remember the time you enjoyed and always remember that our imperfections are what make us beautiful). Loving an imperfection (or a list of that :-) ) in your partner is WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT

Answer 815

It's a "Worldly Stupidity"!!! Some couples take each other for granted, after marriage, but it is supposed to get better, as The Good Lord intended!

Answer 816

Who says sex has to stop ?? I think people just get comfortable with each other and think sex because something that doesn't matter in a marriage. We all know that is wrong.

Answer 817

now now i have been married 7yrs and until this past year witha new arrival (lil girl) we had sex every day so it dose not stop we just are not as publicly affectionate or wanting people to know what goes on after you are married ,i cant even begin to say y i dont know,lol,it is so much more personal i guess than when you are dating.

Answer 818

Married 7 1/2 years. sex stopped rgt after our daughter was born. 4 1/2 yrs ago. her choice not mine

Answer 819

Sex is the glue that holds the marriage together. I don't know where you heard this consensus, but it's wrong.

Answer 820

ROMANCE, ROMANCE, We should keep the fire of romance and passion alive. Its all about the money, house, kids, job, The Jone's. We are all flat out trying to survive. So much pressure, its hard to think about anything else. Jackie, right a book about....

HOW TO KEEP THE FIRE BETWEEN YOU ALIVE!

Thanks for your wonderful books though!

Answer 821

I think it's because people think that once you get married your tied down. If you have that thought then your marriage's romance is already dead. Maybe living with someone for years may affect the romance, but I think that's why we think "sex stops". That once you are married you can't have that spark anymore.

Answer 822

This is why married couple should still date each other.Find ways to keep the sex going.I still can't get enough at 50.Touch when you pass each other.Sex isn't just intercourse.It starts way before that.A back rub,a soft touch on his arm or neck.Soft kisses.Love notes,call him up just to say I love you and miss you.

Answer 823

I have read that some research in Germany indicated that women once they get married lose interest in sex with their partners in about two years, while men are interested in sex with their wives for the next 40 years. It sounded depressing to me. To continue to have sex for 40 years with the guy you have lost interest in.

Answer 824

Sex classes, tapes, or shows for married couples on how to keep the sex going, after marriage.

Answer 825

Simple, women use sex to "trap" a man. Once she has him and access to his wallet, she feels no "need" for sex.



What can be done to change it? Be ready and willing to dump her or bring in a spare lover. Then she will have to put out. Also get a good pre-nuptial agreement.

Answer 826

In my marriage sex is as great as the days that we were dating. But I admit that we do not have kids together. Maybe we are not in the majority but I love it. I am 43 and he is 45. And not our first marriage. People need to learn from their mistakes and work at their marriage...

Answer 827

May be as you get used to each other its not such a done deal and you make less effort to bond

and with children you just dont have the time space or energy

Answer 828

wearing the same clothes everyday is boring like uniforms, so is eating the same curry every night.sometimes we became too comfortable and secure that life became monotonous and stale....Romance need to be rekindle to bring the spark back in a relationship...after marriage romance should continue for a healthy marriage. but we often forget about it...instead we try to find it outside home that is how extra-marital affairs begin...finding the fire and passion in someone else rather than your spouse...

Answer 829

Does it?

That's news to me!

The consensus part as I've heard so many men say"that stopped years ago"is because they don't want to talk about it ,because to men its personal between themselves,so they would rather not talk about it to someone else.

After all you don't say to anyone"I've had it last night" do you.

because if you would say that to someone the probable answer would be "So"?.......(meaning is that special)?

So don't believe all what you hear as a generality of all.

Answer 830

I think that comes from those who are NOT married. They seem to be mistaking real sex with the initial type of lusty feeling you have in the beginning when you just met. It does wan to some degree if we let it, but if we keep it alive....the possibilities are endless. :0)

Answer 831

Every thing in life dies and disappears with age. The only most important thing is that one should understand and accept it. Even my own car was new once but now it is old and I cant ask myself why it is old but try to keep it clean as far as possible. Just follow this simple step.

Answer 832

Before getting married u snuck around and tried getting sex all the time -- NOW THAT U MARRIED AND ITS RIGHT THERE -- its no challenge!! Men want a challenge!! That's why even if you married you still have to challenge him -- not hold back -- dangle it like a carrot!!

Answer 833

well i am 21 years old i have been married for 8 months and we have sex 3 times a month at the most. i dont like having sex anymore and he wants to but not like he should. he makes me feel fat and ugly. he also judges other girls in front of me. maybe its just a bad marriage but the sex did stop for us after getting married

Answer 834

Have them learn the truth. The romance may lessen, but the sex doesn't stop (unless you're very pregnant or absolutely wiped out by the new baby's crying all night).

Answer 835

How do you fix this?



Sleep naked with your spouse you'd be suprised what may happen at 3 A.M. after a cat nap.



Sex in

Answer 836

People in general just enjoy the bad side of everything on here. Good things about men, women, marriage are rarely discussed. I compare it to going to a car race. 75% of people that go to the races are there to see and accident. Same here. They just seem to have negativeity concerning marriages altogether.

Answer 837

Usually marriage goes hand in hand with having children which is really when the sex stops or slows down extremely.

Answer 838

Bear in mind that the quality of a couple's sex life is determined by the quality of their marriage, not the other way around.

Answer 839

When some women have children, they change from wives to mothers. And some believe that mothering comes first and husbands come last, if at all. it's NOT about who they are, it's all about how they feel. If more wives made their hubbys feel like men, they would hurry home with flowers, candy, and that look in their eyes.

Answer 840

not true. my sex life is the same as it was before i got married. we've got a 14 year old daughter and were working on having another. we make love on average of 5 times a week.

Answer 841

Couples get too comfortable, and start taking each other for granted. They then let the daily routines of day to day life over rule the pleasures, that they once had in each others arms.

Answer 842

THE TRUTH IS THAT HAPPENS BECAUSE OF THE SEX MESS YOU AMERICANS LIVE WITH, SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS A BIG WRONG, AND YOU DO IT AS IT IS A NECESSITY IN YOUR LIVES.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THE COUPLE DIDN'T MAKE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE? THE GIRL MAKE HERSELF CHEAP WHEN SHE GIVE HER BODY TO A MANE WITHOUT A HOLY BOND, SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE IS VERY PRECIOUS, AND SHE IS NOT A TOY OR A WHORE, BECAUSE HOW MANY TIMES GURL MAKE SEX BEFORE SHE FIND HER HUSBAND, MANY TIMES I GUESS, RELATIONSHIP NOT ONLY SEX, IT IS LOVE, RESPECT, AND CARING, AFTER MARRIAGE THE JOY OF SEX DISAPPEAR COZ THE WOMAN DID IT BEFORE WITH MANY, BUT WHAT IF SHE STAY VIRGIN? THINGS WILL CHANGE, I JUST WANT GIRLS TO TRY THAT, STAY VIRGIN TILL YOU FIND YOUR HUSBAND AND MARRY HIM AND YOU WILL FIND THAT SEX WILL BE A GREAT THING, YOU WILL DO IT WITH LOVE AND PASSION NOT AS A ROUTINE THING.

Answer 843

there is a fish by the name stickleback ,,i think,,--anyhow wen the male tries the female to lay here eggs in his carefully build nest ,,-- he enticed here with the most brilliant colour under and on his side of his body..--after she surrendered here eggs he loses all the colour to Gray,..- AND that,s what happens in plenty of marriages ,==when the first excitement is gone the dull and monotone life of a couple begins,,==but only if you shed all this wonderful colours and enjoyment of life - you enhanced your wife to marry you in the first place .- == a good marriage is never ending work in progress,,-== and sex will always be a priority in there life

Answer 844

Wrong conception.In India sex starts after marriage-normally.

Be Indian,buy Indian & leave in Europe/America

Answer 845

When you get our answer please contact me.



Before we got married, my wife and I went at it like rabbits. As soon as the ring got on my finger, all action ceased. I am embarrassed to tell you the frequency with how often we have sex. Whenever I bring it up, she says that it's not a problem and that she isn't concerned. In fact, she blames me for not "initiating" it. Odd, since I am the only one concerned about it.

Answer 846

I think this is a load of crap. I have friends who have been married for seven years now and they still can't keep their hands off of each other. The trick to keeping the sex alive in your marriage is to make it exicting, and pleasurable for both people.

Answer 847

says whom.... my sex life is just as active as the day i got married. I think the problems that lead to sex issues in marriage are control based... that's why sex goes bell up after the ring goes on. most women falsely advertise themselves as fun easy going nymphos then marry and try to completely change their husbands.. using sex as a tool.....

Answer 848

Sex doesn't stop it just slows down, it just has to do with hormones and age. If there were cost effective ways for males to do hormone treatment when their libidos wane we'd be all over it. Imagine having incredible sex drives that could match womens when they age.

Answer 849

Does not have to stop. Keep the marriage exciting, go out on dates with each other. Do fantasy stuff. If you keep it exciting the sex won't stop. Don't let it (sex / the relationship) get boring.

Answer 850

Perhaps have more sex? Actually a friend of mine told me that after he got married he had more sex than before; now he doesn't only does his wife, but his secretary too. Just kidding.

Answer 851

I think it all began back when people were living properly in Gods eyes,,,staying home with their parents until marriage. Once they got married-they then moved in together and took on responsibility at once....making them exhausted, because I know when my fiancee and i moved in together I was exhausted and our sex life suffered a bit...its great now...a year later...but i think thats the reason.

Answer 852

people have to start telling the truth.There was a reason you wanted the person you're maried to. Did you forget what it was. Sex is a lot of work,people are lazy,you always have tomorrow,i've got a headache,I'm too tired. none of these BS reasons are going to stop me! I wanted my partner before marriage and I want my partner now!Tell the truth.

Answer 853

Change it up u get bored suggest videos,toys,creams, and sensual massages. Sex doesn't get low its the fact that people hear about cheating and the person that says it makes it sound exciting, have you heard the down side to those stories divorce, depression, and what about your kids. Change it up it gets better but you have to be willing to improve it yourself.

Answer 854

who says that after marriage sex stops the matter is difference its how we take it or think it,even i happily married for 16 years and have no sex problems ,if you have desire of sex then the matter is complete different,then whats the use of marriage,marriage is the meeting of two souls or lovers,its the understanding and bonding which last for ever,one has to sacrifice to gain something in life.

Answer 855

After marriage people often take each other for granted. Women do not like to do it if they have not been made to feel special. Men will not make a woman feel special if they have not been treated with love and respect!

Answer 856

Easy, before marriage it is all new and exciting. Once you get married, the newness wears off after about one year, then responsibility kicks in, such as car payments, kids, mortgage and so on

Answer 857

I wish it weren't so, but it is. It is a distance memory after living together for 17 years. I have seen couples that the relationship goes better than that but you would have to ask them whether not there was a dry period. I know I'm living in one, I never imagined it would be me.

Answer 858

that's only people's consensus, in getting married sex is much more pleasant, of course it's not being shown 'coz it's private. making love is really great doing together w/ love!

Answer 859

It does slow down in most cases so that is why there is this consensus. It has been proven. There are however people that this doesn't happen to.

Answer 860

When you want something --attitude is different but when get that thing the attitude becomes -different not because the value is decreased but the mindset becomes stable and cool of desire being fulfilled and no worries for future. People taking it otherwise rather worsen the relations.

Answer 861

It's boring? When you are having sex outside of marriage it's sort of cheating...exciting...marriage changes that. Plus by some point in the marriage you know your partner inside and out...not to exciting. People have to really put out to make it better...most don't.

Answer 862

Consensus? Nope. I would say that not marriage stop sex, but sex stop marriage. This is truth.

Answer 863

I'm still single, and my sex cannot stop unless if my wife is not beautiful or she did not have enough to do the exercise every night and morning. We can stop it during her period. Apart from above reasons Boy2 cannot stop because i like the exercise with attracted babe with power of incumbency.

Answer 864

Unless one is a sex addict, sex with your life partner will not stop but the couple especially the woman won't be as active. If its not an adventure it won't be as interesting as the first time or with new partners.

Answer 865

Well I think the couple get really busy together and don't have space for their own self anymore. My therapist tells me we should even move in with a lover because the reason we get tired of each other.

Answer 866

I would say just have more sex and tell it to whom ever ask. I have been married once and never again will I marry. I have a great sex life and not married so my # does'nt count I know.

Answer 867

Why do we need to change this consensus, it is merely opinions after all. Perhaps we should be trying to establish fact !!

Answer 868

i dont think that this is true, i think the couples who believe in this dont really love each other, maybe they rush on getting married but not really sure on what they feel. for me, sex is a important ritual a couple must do especially when you're married. ive been married for almost eight years, but im thankful to god that my feelings for my wife does not change, for me, she is still the most hottest and sexiest women and for that i will love her forever. i guess that is LOVE can do!

Answer 869

Sex doesn't end after you're married. In fact, it should be better. But couples,after awhile,tend to take each other for granted. They need to use a little imagination.

Answer 870

the consensus is probably mad because they are getting none and the rest are too busy doing to give an opinion

Answer 871

People get too comfy. I make it known that I'm in need and want, I take time to plan little things and make some alone time and even if he is tired he can't think of me being with someone else so he does what he must!

Answer 872

I dont think so. Sex doesnt stop when u get married, you see it depends on both parties. you have to look the same way as you did when he propsed to u, cause i know some women take themselves for granted, doing the household chores, taking care of kids, inspite of those chores make sure that you still take care of yourself, look pretty and adorable for your husband. think of something romantic/something special to do during the weekend. and for sure, that will spice it up.

Answer 873

i cannot subscribe that concensus, in my own self analysis it involves almost 75% of sex and 25% companionship to have a happy marriage. thats why older couples look for some sex enhancer so that they can still perform will to attained a happy married life.

Answer 874

Sex doesn't stop, but it definitely becomes part of the "schedule". Being somewhat of a hound dog myself, I try to make it impossible to resist my advances. Also, I think you should NEVER let your marriage get in the way of your sex life.

Answer 875

i don't know about some of y'all married people but my bedroom is on fire and i don't want to put he flames out intimacy is one of the best ways to get as close to your spouse as humanly possible sex in a marriage is the best way to bring the freak out in each other and not have to worry about std's and all the other drama so more power to the married people who cant stay off one another

Answer 876

It seems that way for my married friends. Men need to do the things that they did before they married their wives. They seemed to have more sex then. It just seems to me that the romance goes away once the marriage occurs.

Answer 877

I believe we need 2 Husbands. One for the housework and helping with the kids, and one for sex and romance. Best of both worlds. Yes I know. Dream on.

Answer 878

Continue to find new and exciting ways to keep the love alive with your husband. My boyfriend and I live together and have been dating over a year now, things have maybe slowed down but we will never let them die and trust me we are plenty busy now. You have to keep the romance alive if you want it. Sometimes couples just get sidetracked so they need to come back to center and find that sexual attraction.

Answer 879

Maybe, I'm the only one but- I beleive sex just gets better once your married!!!

You just have to put the effort in if you want it and not rely on the man to make the 1st move!

Answer 880

Some people forget their passion for each other, they forget what made them want to be together. Their touches become dull, a lack of sensation occurs, they lose their passion and just can't find each other. You can't change the truth but you can enlighten, you can help people remember why they love each other.

Answer 881

I think we get so busy with making our lives just "perfect" that we forget how good sex can feel. I say if is has been a long time, just do it for the fact of doing it,and it feels so good you remember. 2nd.I think we are flat tired from having a home to maintain,to paying bills,kids,and the jobs we have.But,as I said,JUST DO IT !

Answer 882

It doesn't - if you're lucky!!! But it takes a lot of effort, a good sense of humor and using your rose-colored glasses to find your partner _hot_ even after you've been together over 20 years. I can't find any other attractive man anymore - the only one for me is my husband.

Answer 883

If I where polled my opinion would be it picks up. Married couples should be having more sex then premarriage. There should be greater opportunity and if not make it. You are in a committed relationship physical contact should be frequesnt and nurturing.

Answer 884

Because most women feel that they have conquered and have gotten the man of their dreams and now do not need to provide any more sex than they have to at that point.

Answer 885

Still got sex going on here, been married 26 years.

Answer 886

A couple is already feed up with sex after marriage, because they indulged with it very much - to the maximum while still unmarried. Therefore, preserve sex and do it after you are already married.

Answer 887

For the record it does slow down.



The facts are the facts i have been married 4 times!



Mutual enjoyment "quality" not quantity is the answer.



Self stimulation always works in between :)

Answer 888

I don't think it is a real consensus. I think it is a joke among married men that don't talk about their real feelings.

I don't think it will change unless you change the whole male population.

Answer 889

There is nothing to do. A man thinks like any other man. Their idea is that they already know what it's like to be bedded down with you they don't need to find out any more. They think that they have had enough from you that's when they start going elsewhere.

Answer 890

I'm not married but I live with some one. What I can tell you is the routine. You know how he touches you or the moments he wants to do it and that turns you off in the day a day. What I can tell you is keep sexy and try other things more often.

Answer 891

no the sex doesnt stop after you get married it stops after a child is born!!!! How can we change this its up the women to get pass the postpardom and the she must understand that her husband still wants to have sex maybe not a anthor kid but sex is a yes

Answer 892

I think that some people just think that once your married things stopped . But really its what you make it . Grant you in a marriage you work at all your circumstances , people give up to quick instead of trying to make things work .

Answer 893

Sex stops but sharing starts

Answer 894

sex stops if one want it stop. my husband and i have busy lives with the kids and work, but we still find time too have sex. it dont happen every night, but when it does its great. we love each other so we get through the hard times and found time for ourselves. we have been married 8 years and still going strong

Answer 895

Its up to you to keep your sex life in a marriage exciting. It takes both partners efforts. You gotta try new things or relive your high school or college years and have sex in the car with your husband. You gotta keep it interesting.

Answer 896

I believe when you get married you lose interest cause you are always around that person sometimes day in and day out so you get tired of the sex i believe.

Answer 897

I am a LEGEND on this site and I came out of retirement, for just this one question, to point out that, had one of us mere participants asked this very same question, the YAHOO NAZI-KAFKA HALL MONITORS would delete it and dock us the points poste haste.



Yahoo, therefore, is blatantly hypocritical in that they allow celebrities such as you (and I use the term celebrity very loosely) privileges that the rest of us are denied.

Answer 898

It's actually us woman that have done this, mojority of woman decide not to give their husbands any after marriage.

I myself enjoy it and enjoy giving my boyfreind pleasure.

I suppose some people see it as their comfprt zone and that it isno longer nesseccary to make sure that, that person is been kept happy and that their needs are being fulfilled.

Answer 899

My wife and I have been married for almost 40 years. I have slowed down a bit but viagra is great. Weekly dates nights make a big difference.Show your wife she is appreciated like wash the dishes or do the laundry and wow the sex is greaaattttt.

Answer 900

My experience is since our son was consieved my sexlife has dried up to less than once a year and that is mainly due to feeling she has to have sex with me.



heard the other day

why do women stop having sex once married???

dont like having sex with relitives

Answer 901

Because to some relationships it does happen people get busy in their lives and just do not make time for it. To change it we need to enjoy life and each other and make the time to make love.

Answer 902

Sorry I just want points. I've never been married. But when I get married, its with the hope that the sex wont stop but will actually get better.. and better.. and better!

Answer 903

Let me answer this in a economics theory :



The relationship between demand and supply underlie the forces behind the allocation of resources.

Answer 904

My husband doesn't tell his friends about our sex-life and I don't want him to. We have great sex and if we were to tell everyone about it, it would seem too much like people know too much about us. Just because we don't give people a "blow by blow" description about what we do as married couples, doesn't mean we rolled over and died when we said "We- Do" It just means that we are grown up now and don't have to try to impress our teen-aged friends.

Answer 905

Well, if you are still attracted to him, spice things up! Make a reservation at a nice restaurant and go out. Light candles around the filled bubble bath! etc..

Answer 906

Jackie,

Sex is what you make of it. Simple hand holding, a gentle hug being very careful whith what you say or do can enhance your love life.

Answer 907

Who is to say sex must stop when you get married? If it does stop then there is something drastictly wrong here. Now unless you both are bored with each other then i say there is a big problem

Answer 908

The. romance just slows down after awile . If you are young and its your first time it may last awhile but, sooner or later you'll have to realize the honeymoon phase will be over. If you are not careful , its right after pregnancy

Answer 909

I know alot of people who are married and have wonderful

sex lives. I myself really enjoy having sex with my husband.

He is wonderful. We both enjoy each other.I feel so alive when

we touch. Something has to be wrong somewhere in a relationship when you stop having sex with your spouse.I hope i can enjoy my husband for along time.It doesn't stop it

should only get much better!!! You are never really to old.

Answer 910

Sex never stopped in my marriage and is still continuing after 32 years. I believe the main factor for continuation of having sex is COMMUNICATION.

Answer 911

because it’s true!!!! Most man just lose interest once they are married. A friend of mine said that, since men are hunters by nature, once they have one person (or prey), they just lose interest since there is not hunting there, the girl is already theirs!! Sounds terrible, I know, but seems to be the case.



In regards to how to change this, I have absolutely no idea!!

Answer 912

Wait let me get this straight......people think the sex stops after marriage? first of all im not married, but i have been with my better half for 5 yrs. yes the "sex stopped" but now we make love. my opinion if it counts(its only mine) if you love someone enough to have "sex" stop the sex and MAKE LOVE....its fun.

Answer 913

It has never stopped in the case of my wife and I. We have been married over 21 years.



Public attitude, and personal attitude towards marrage and fidelity will have to change.

Answer 914

in some cases it does stop I hate to say it but it is true next week is my 1st wedding ann, and the sex has come to a complete stand still the couples get to busy in their lives, job, family bills and the COMFORT ZONE and taking everying for granted,, couple need to take a date night if possible, try to rekindle what they had in the beginning if possible

Answer 915

Women need to be more open about their sexuality.



Men are allowed to talk about sex and how much they enjoy it all the time. But I woman would never be allowed to say what a great time she had with her husband last night.

Answer 916

when you get married at the older age,can be.but try to ask for younger age got married,sex 2 to 3 times a day

Answer 917

When you get married you have children, children keep you up all night, and you are tired, you get cranky, irritable, and take it out on the person that you love most..and then it just turns a circle and starts again.

Answer 918

I don't know who started the rumor. Even my friends and I still discuss our "love lives" and we have been together almost 25 years. Evidentally a great book needs to be written, but, not by me, too busy with the "uhm" hubby

Answer 919

I don't think the majority of people who are not married get a huge amount of sex. It is just in the beginning of a relationship when life is exciting and things are new. That you get plenty of sex.



After all, remember that it is human nature to always want what you can't have, (or don't know if the other one will want forever)

Answer 920

sex is a combination of men and women

men need more power to do the exercises

womens are just enjoying the sex what the men doing

try something new to give your partners satisfaction so the game will last to the end of yours life

try it.

Answer 921

Ever saw how a rooster does it? Well, better it stops than it happens like that! Great question- would love to see what the men of the world says to that one.

Answer 922

My husband and I have sex 8 to 10 times a week, we have been married 12 years! and we are middle aged. sex can be as wonderful as you make it for as long as you make it!

Answer 923

Because maybe there is no more excitement, almost everything gets in routine, usually men stop being romantic, so passion starts to finish, then sex stops.

Answer 924

sex outside the marriage stops, the outcome of sex is a gift from God, but i think some people use not having sex as a way to get what they want,

Answer 925

I do not think it stops, it gets into a different stage. After being married and having it frequently you have to get smart and know how to make it attractive and little different every time.

Answer 926

I believe it is because having sex with same person everyday becomes boring. I know it sounds cruel but this happens very much to men. They get bored, not all of them but a high porcentage.



Bye bye

Answer 927

I agree with it but it doesn't bother me because I've had enough of rolling in the hay with strangers. The familiarity,boredom and missed chances are part of taking the good with the bad. There's always next time.

Answer 928

Women could stop morphing into John Madden (only without the sports knowledge) after they get married.



Most dudes do not want to do John Madden.



and ditch that creepy short hair cut cracker women get.

Answer 929

Maybe for some couples, but not for my husband and I. 17 yrs togetter and 3 yrs married. Our sex life is wonderful.

Answer 930

my sex life only changed when I got prego. After I had my daughter my sex life went off the charts. I love my husband and I love my kids and yes you can make time to do anything.

Answer 931

when you get married, sex gets better. And the longer you are married and really in love, sex is really a way of showing your love for each other.

Answer 932

Fresh love gets stale. The excitement of something new gets mundane and old.



Change by exploring each others fantasies and understanding what the other person's desires are then fulfilling them.

Answer 933

Consensus is based on people's personal experiences. If you can change that, then, you can perhaps change the opinions. When opinions are based only on perceptions, they are valueless. When they are based on experiences, then, they count.

Answer 934

Because when people enter a committed relationship, they stop talking about their sex life to their single friends. Either they think they'll be jealous, or they think their friends will talk them into being dissatisfied w/ the relationship.

Answer 935

I do not think that it happens. Some people might have that thing in their lives because marriage brings responsibility and people some people do not care about their significant others. People get bored of each other also.

Answer 936

I dont understand this. Maybe kids are around, I think sex should be done 2-4 times a week. quickies, slow , time together at night, ? go figure,

Answer 937

I have been married 33 years. I say it is up and down. With the kids it slowed down but after they were gone, it is better. They say it gets better with age and it does. You just have to be understanding with each other and find the time.

Answer 938

I never knew it's a consensus. But really, it doesn't stop all the way, at least, mine hasn't

Answer 939

It is not that it stops but rather that it becomes very private and not talked about to other people. This leads a perception that sex stops after marriage.

Answer 940

the consensus is just false statement.marriage is the catalyst that creates full and pleasurable sex all day and nite. only the unmarried believe your statement

Answer 941

Well it shouldn't but it seems to, usually after the children have come. Sad that it does, because the longing for it is not dead. I think it also becomes a tool of power for the wife.

Answer 942

I dont think sex stops right away..it sort of tapers off until a point is reached where neither one misses its absence.Other things give you the the same gratification sex used to....a touch....a warm hug...a kiss etc.

Answer 943

I wish it was only marriage that made sex stopped. Mine has stopped and we aren't even close to being married. That is the last thing on his mind.

Answer 944

People need to grow up and realize that real love has nothing to do with sex. Marriage is about sharing your life together, not only your bed.

Answer 945

Are you kidding ? I had the best sex of my life while I was married. And then again, I had more great sex after I got divorced!

Answer 946

Because you take it for granted . it is available for you whenever you want . To change this all the couples should understand that sex is part of life and they should give lot of importance to the same

Answer 947

Age old wives tale. Men get bored with regularity. Not to mention you get older maybe fatter, and those out of bounds young girls come a dime a dozen.

Answer 948

It's just an opinion, I've been Married for 17 years and the sex

is just like we just met. It just depends on the couple I guess.

Got to keep it interesting, you know, thing's you wear, thing's

you do and say...

Answer 949

do not married or do not posses "your" life partner. respect it's freedom. if love is put it on a cage, dies. no love, no sex :p try to sleep in separate rooms or beds, this will keep the attraction alive.



where is something sure there is no more suspense. love is something unsure... if became sure... became death. only death is sure. the death of relationship. love is about feelings. or you may feel when you are insecure. security kill the love. marriage means security... get it?

Answer 950

I think it's because you have children and she ends up becoming super mom, cleaning the house, doing chores, shopping, taking care of the kids etc. When it comes time to go to bed, all the wife wants to do is sleep!

Answer 951

Its not so much that it stops as it just becomes less important. Time constraints, schedules,work, home, kids....all that adds up and there are still only 24 hours in a day.

Answer 952

Because reality comes in between relationship.

Various responsibilities also come up which are not thought before marriage, also lessens the spirit.

Some prudent couple enjoy their life after marriage.

Answer 953

I thought that was true also. But after 20 years of mairrage and now divorced I realized that it just stopped for me, what I didn't realize is that it didn't stop for my wife, hence the divorce after I finally woke up and found out.

Answer 954

Because poeople stop running around to bars and public palces lusting after a new relationship since the last one was not what it was cracked up to be.



Sex doesn't stop after marriage, we just bring it indoors.

Who sees when you're not looking for another replacement for your latest relationship disapointment?



God Bless you, ;-)

Answer 955

I dont know my sex life got a lot better after i got married I felt more secure or something

Answer 956

I sometimes wonder if women use sex to "land their man" and then once they do, they revert to their real personality.



Also, as was mentioned, it would seem that stress and work take a toll on our energies. And of course no one is getting any younger.





Thanks -- good question.

Answer 957

i have heard this before as far as i see when other opsticles come in the way sometimes you spend more time concerntrating on that when you or your spouse has alot on there minds it can put a strain on the sex life a little but when the mind is all clear its party

Answer 958

I don't agree with this. I've been together with my husband for 15yrs & married to him for 6yrs but we are still passionate in bed.



When you are really in love, sincere with your partner & treasure your marriage/life together, you'll never get sick of each other. In fact, you'll feel that every time you have sex, it'll feel different (in a good way).

Answer 959

Because the men get fed good. Jackie..i love you

Answer 960

Marry me,

not sure how that will help the consences of no sex after marraige but at least i know ill still be getting brains.

Answer 961

I really do not think that sex stop when you get married .Personally if you are in love sex never stops it gets better.

Answer 962

I feel sorry for you. I've been married for 14yrs. and sex is at the top of my list.



My suggestion is try new stuff. Get a little kinky once in a while. It keeps um coming back for more and more and more!

: )

Answer 963

Sex doesn't stop unless you have no imagination whatsoever. I find that the longer your married the more inventive and adventurous sex can be as well as satisfying.

Answer 964

Normally if u explore all your fantasies when dating then when you get married it all becomes routine,sex thrill is all about new ideas,new positions,and new explorations just keep it exciting and new ideas all the time it wont stop

Answer 965

Because after most couples get married they quit dating. After 30 years of marriage my husband and I still go on dates even though we don't have to because we are now empty nesters.

Answer 966

Life changes and the honeymoon is over.



If something is worth doing it is worth doing well. The things that used to come easily take effort but the pay off is worth it.

Answer 967

What? Are a bunch of nuns trying to diss marriage or something? LOL I learned everything I know about sex from my husband.

Answer 968

Sex is the last thing to go in a relationship...........respect , consideration ,love & understanding are important 2. with plenty of practice sex can get better & better !

Answer 969

i don't know why people think that .i've been married for 11 years and me and my husband still have sex .the only reason we dont have it as much as we did before we got married is because our kids and our jobs keep us busy. but we get the chance to be intimate .

Answer 970

people say after marriage sex stops, what they are saying is they have exausted the possibility, i have been married 10 yrs and its still as awesome as it was when we first got married, we are still attracted to eachother, and enjoy eachother very,very much, we chose not to be like most married couples, we dont get bored with eachother, we always keep it sexy and exciting

Answer 971

That's why the point is to wait until youi get married. If you get to know your spouse before marriage then you will have more to go on then just sex.

Answer 972

because the newness that comes from "the chase" is over. also, i believe that after you get married, you get comfortable around eachother and no longer keep eachother on a pedistal. sad, but true. if you are very close and good friends, it seems like that is what you become, friends...not lovers. at least over time

Answer 973

I think many people first think of their parents when they think of people who are married, many married people eventually have children and no matter how old the child gets it's hard to accept that our parents might be sexual in some way.

Answer 974

I have no idea where that came from I will be married 25 yrs in June and SEX is better then ever.

Answer 975

Why do we care what other people do? Who decided to believe a "consensus"??

Answer 976

try doing other things to make your sex life more existing get some toys dress up do it out side anything really what ever puts the fun back into it

Answer 977

When you have kids they rule the house and the bank book etc etc and you are put on the back burner,,,,,In just living together you make other arrangements and the woman get the kids and the shaft,

Answer 978

I think when you get married the sex gets more like it happens alot because when people are not married expecially teens they vow to not do it untill their married and finally when they are they go at it you know?

Answer 979

Because it's what you hear people say who are married that they just don't have sex or don't have it as often. I hear it all the time at work "from the guys." I also believe we females hear this at work alot from the guys because I believe that they think we single women are willing to help them out in this situation.. . . . . . . .not me !

Answer 980

Are you married Jackie? Do you perform all 'acts' that you did prior to marriage? Niether do other wives!

Answer 981

Let your man have sex with your friends. Sex with one other person gets boring after awhile. "for every hot woman out there, there's a guy tired of f******g her"



People aren't wired to be monagamous.



Thumb me down all you want, truth hurts

Answer 982

For me and my friends, sex STARTS when you get married. I know that is the exception -- but it sure is a nice way to live your life. No baggage (including diseases) and I absolutely LOVE to be with my husband.

Answer 983

You need to get to know my ex-husband and his siblings, a large family and even my son who is married is like his dad. They R all married and hump like rabbits Trust me when I say this, not even a headache stoped sex in my marriage.

Answer 984

People need to stop using the words, doom day , or sign you life over or its the end , when ever we talk about marriage. Especailly men they need to stop using wrds like that. We need to start viewing it as a good union witht he person you love.

Answer 985

CAUSE IT DOES....she was willing and ready anytime , anywhere before the wedding and now 10 yrs later she thinks of sex once in a while.it doesnt matter how i try to get her attn. cleaning the house with a beautiful dinner,cleaning afterwards and while i put the children to bed a nice warm bubble bath awaiting her arrival......and a good long rub down,or washing her and messaging......NOTHING...her libido remains the same........DULL AND LIFELESS.....

Answer 986

No way. My sex life is great and passionate. I think the frequecny isn't as often after 20 years of marriage, but it is still great.

Answer 987

Because those opinions come from dummies.

And dummies like to hear there own opinions.

And a lot of opinions are not based on truth

Answer 988

Pretty much...Unless there is magic in the relationship. Happended to me. The magic seemed to have worn off, the being "in Love" wilted and died. No ones fault. Just life. It can be brutally harsh.

Answer 989

the sex stop now you know that you have them why should you have sex all the time. make sex a game for each other make it fun and not like doing a job that you hate to do.

Answer 990

Well I can only speak for myself but Ive been married 17 years and we are still going strong..Maybe everyone who says that just arent doing right. Thats why their partner stopped doing it with them.

Answer 991

Actually hearing married people happy and talking about sex

Answer 992

people just need to be more honest and open. i mean sex is all over the media and people just eat it up, but when it comes to being in a truly loving relationship and making love that seems to be a more private thing that people don't like to discuss.

Answer 993

No-way, it only gets better. A level of intamacy is reached after knowing your partner for a while, then watch out. Heaven and extasy await

Answer 994

i There is no more challenge,excitment.

You must after marrage try to do 75% of all phases of marrage and your partner must do the same.

Should continue courtship as if you were single

I am 85 yrs. of age and the wife and i are inseperable.

Answer 995

Stop....I have been married for exactly three years and 4 days....and I can count the time we have had sex since we go married....the kids are qrown....So, what can be the problem...Not cheating ...I think .

Answer 996

Been married 20 years and it hasn't stopped yet! Must have married the wrong person.

Answer 997

there is no education about men and women in general .as soon as they see each other ,they see a sex object ,and when they get married, that changes to my belonging ,not my partner for life ,there everything stops.

Answer 998

I don't know. I guess as you get older, your sex drive decreases. And maybe there are a lot of unhappy marriages out there. But it doesn't have to be that way for everybody.

Answer 999

Apparently I was never informed of this consensus.

Answer 1000

I think because of too much familiarity to both parties, out of contentment, or curiosity. Married couples should invent something to add spice to their married life.

Answer 1001

Sex should be reserved for the marriage---not before the marriage. Guess that's the whole problem in a nutshell.

Answer 1002

Keep it fresh. You will probably slow down. It is inevitable. You get into a routine and breaking that routine is very tough. Try new things, new times, new locations. Do things differently. That will keep it new. Good luck!

Answer 1003

yea thats kinda true, it's kinda more funny to talk about, that actuallity, i think. my hubby jokes with me about this, but he knows that i know the truth. we both have so much stuff going on and teenagers too, that, we usually have it on a friday night. we don't plan it, but it seems like whenever we are not tired and the forces that be happen, its on a friday. sometimes even another day by surprise. then he says he's more into it than me. so i listen to him, and get more into it, at least try...............

Answer 1004

Question: Do you know what substance reduces a woman's sex drive by 50%?



Answer: Wedding cake

Answer 1005

I think more people need to start understanding that it is OK, to be Happy in a Marriage and talk more on the positive then the negatives!! I love my husband and our sexual connection!!

Answer 1006

I'm 55 and have been married 32 years -- sex doesn't stop, maybe not as often like daily, but doesn't stop!

Answer 1007

i think that once you are married both people just get to comfortable. and then they stop making as much effort about everything (including sex). but you have to get out of the rut and try to spice things up.

Answer 1008

Save something for the honeymoon,Savor the honey moon.....when thing get cold instead of communicating your feelings with a would be fling or lover...Share your heart with your soul mate

Answer 1009

i don't know if that is true but if it isn't it should b! LOL well it should at least slow down a bit! i been married 6 yrs. and he still gets it 7 times a week! he says im so hot he cant help himself! LOL

Answer 1010

Who says it stops?. Yes is slows down but is doesn't stop. If it stops the two of you need to get help. For myself and my married friends, yes the sex slowed down but no it didn't stop.

Answer 1011

i've been asking the same question.. and i'm worried that if i marry, sex would really stop. maybe because, after marriage, the husband/wife stops making an effort, they are in their comfort zones already.

Answer 1012

WELL IN MY CASE THE SEX DID DIE OFF A LOT AFTER MARRIAGE ITS LIKE SHE STOP TRYING SHE GOT ME SO WHY TRY,SHE SAYS PEOPLE OUR AGE DON'T STAY THAT ACTIVE I'M 44 NOT DEAD I'VE TRIED ALL KINDS OF THINGS TO GET THE SPARK BACK,I'VE TRIED DISCUSSING IT BEGGING ,SHE SAYS SHE STILL LOVES ME BUT DON'T CARE TO SHOW IT SHE SAYS JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T MAKE LOVE DOESN'T MEAN SHE DON'T LOVE ME THAT I'M JUST MORE INTO IT THAN SHE IS,I LIVE FOR LOVE ANY WAY I CAN GET IT HOLDING HANDS SPENDING TIME TOGETHER BUT I NEED THE SEXUAL PART TO I FEEL IF YOUR GOING TO KILL THAT PART YOU MIGHT AS WELL BURY ME ,I'M HEADING THAT WAY ANY WAYS THE DIEING PART JUST TAKES LONGER THAT WAY,I WISH I KNEW WHAT I COULD DO TO BRING IT BACK TO THE LOVE AND PASSION PART

Answer 1013

Hmm...you have it backwards. Sex starts at marriage unless you are a prostitute:) Sex before marriage is unnecessary unless you want to have bastard children and unnecessary diseases. It is certainly not fair to the children to have such an embarrassing background.

Answer 1014

Some people don't have the time any more to keep up with their mate .It's happened to me a couple of times where I thought the same thing.

Answer 1015

first to change this is... most of the couples must stop listening to idiots who have had bad sex in their own marriages and complain about it. Sex is very important to alot of couples in marraige. It can be misused as a weapon, or abuse.. or can be use as a relief ,as what God intended it to be... to be one in body and in spirit.

Answer 1016

My husband and I fantasize a lot together which makes it more exciting. Sometimes we both pretend we are with someone else altho we are totally committed and just amusing ourselves. We have sex nearly every day.

Answer 1017

because it does ... well, not right away but usually too soon afterwards because most people fall into a "routine rut" and dont know how to keep the passion & romance cooking...that is something that they have to learn and work at very hard to keep the fireworks going strong {SouthernRockGuy} Lennerd Skinnerd = PS: ... yes, I know it is spelled wrong ~~~!!!!

Answer 1018

I have no idea my love life improved after I got married even with 2 children it improved.

Answer 1019

stress, even after ur married still act like you're ur husband's GF, wear sexy, feel sexy and tease him all the time, if u all have kids, put the kids in bed no later than 9:00 pm to give both of u time to fool around.

Answer 1020

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

Answer 1021

Well, I know that the reason sex stops is because people



don't have the secret to having great sex nor do they know HOW to please their partner.



I read something at http://Fireworks-Love.com that has helped me tremendously to have more orgasms and deeper orgasms during sex. I didn't think it was possible but what I learned at this website changed my sex life forever.

Answer 1022

Sex should get better. His body is hers and vice versa. We are sex beings . Thats what marriage is all about. The fire doesn't stop it burns hotter when you are married.

Answer 1023

All I can say is from my own experience my husband stopped trying to make it romantic. Now he just wants to take care of his business and not make me want it at all so in turn...I don't want it...why should I when he doesn't even attempt to turn me on anymore? I mean no foreplay and rarely any kissing even!

Answer 1024

every married couple should do their best to destroy this myth despite the lack of time,unequal libido,kids,the lack of privacy and everything else as sex is a pleasure to keep on enjoying as long as you can, the freqency is not important but physical intimacy is

Answer 1025

I believe that couples get comfortable and when they get comfortable they tend to let their guard down. So all the things that they you didnt know your finding out and then you realize parts of them are very unattractive. if there is friction in the marriage that never helps.

Answer 1026

GOOD question... idk 4 sho' but perhaps people joke with the concept too much & so much it's become some ppl's reality...

Granted in the 9 yrs we've been married, we've experienced dry spells & tsunamis in the said dept; however I can say that it never STOPS...we just had to become more creative in other areas & more open with one another.

Answer 1027

pole couples that have been married for the last five or six years and see what you come up with , I plan on having sex with my husband for as long as I can sit up and walk by myself (smile) or until I break him which ever comes first

Answer 1028

Well, it was true for my soon to be ex-husband. He quit wanting sex soon after we married. Have tried everything, so it's time to call it quits and look for a better situation.

Answer 1029

Maybe because it stopped in other people relationships. Or maybe because people get bored being with the same person, and give up rather try new things.

Answer 1030

Gossip

Answer 1031

well not in all cases but if you marry a boring person then yeah it could become a bother .. i think marriage counselling before marriage will help and lay out what you want in life before you make that big day

Answer 1032

it true, it does slow down. it starts off 4 times a week then 2 times then u start checkin in with eachother to see whens the next time ur goin to do it.

Answer 1033

I guess because men/women get comfortable and they think that since that their married they worked so hard to get there buy having such a strong sexual relationship while dating hat they ar now married and they no longer have that lusting desire to their spouse.

Answer 1034

Hell thats up to the couple...I've been married for 9 yrs and things in bed are still great..ya not every nite like when we first met ..3 kids later....I have no complaints....It's all up to the couple if they want it still or not...

Answer 1035

have no idea, i was trying to figure out the same thing, like that piece of paper makes a difference to the male population. it is really overrated i think. time for a different husband. it should be in the prenuptuals.

Answer 1036

I have never been married but i get bored with women very quickly and start to cheat that could be why i am not married.

Answer 1037

the sex went way east like egyppt for her

oh well my son is with me

and we are doing OK

I wish i could find help to protect him

what do u want ?

power of opinion?

my son is a ststistic of life

how better can it be?

Answer 1038

Men need to come out and say that this is not the case. I gotta tell ya. Its not the case. My wife enjoys making sure that I am fullfilled, although I think she has her own agenda and is getting fullfulled too. (smile)

Answer 1039

It did for me but that was because my lousy husband was busy doing someone else - idiot! That's why I ditched him after 9 months of marriage - I pity whoever ends up with the imbecile

Answer 1040

Most people i see get married let themselves go and the excitment dies.Then u have one trying and the other not and then things get comfortable and there goes sex.

Answer 1041

Guess you'd know the "consensus"... I can only give an opinion.

Answer 1042

It sure do slow down. then they but on weight so more slow down. Then the Kids come more slow down. Then on come the Age thing more slow down. Then it is your bitrhday and there is chirstmas and you hear oh not tonight the grand kids are . Yes You are right it dose Slow down to a once a year thing if one is luckey.

Answer 1043

we cannot change that consensus because we all come from different country, culture and colours. Our thoughts are totally different too.

Answer 1044

Well, it sure hasn't stopped for me. If it did I doubt he would still be with me after 18 years. Actually, we had more sex after marriage than before. There were more opportunities.

Answer 1045

personally, i think it is just an excuse for someone who wants to engage in cheating. I've come across those who makes those types of statements are cheating. This is to make the other party feel guilty to make the other person's actions feel right.

Answer 1046

This is what people THINK is going to happen because it is SAID over and over again because it happened to them, but if you are truly IN LOVE with your spouse then the sex will not stop!

Answer 1047

NO I dont think so. Not to be too crude its on tap, i.e. its more available you dont have to go out looking for it, or a partner I mean. But if you are not monogomous then you probably do go out looking for it and you probably get twice as much.

Answer 1048

I think that this opinion about sex stoping after marriage is simply trying to shed a better light on marriage, that its more impotant and bigger than just sex.



But, essentially, that's all its about. Can't fool me!

Answer 1049

well it seems like you have a bunch of answers i dont know how to do that but to me sex just gets better after you get married let people think what they want they are just jealous cause they cant have what married people have

Answer 1050

well it depends on the persons u have to work to keep the flame up, and remember this rest more in the women...

surprise him with little sexy messages hide them so he can se them thruout the day, make him romantic dinners,the key here is to separate the day to day live from you 2, allways look for some alone time with your partner.

Answer 1051

Give a giant bottle of Tylenol away to the bride at weddings.

Answer 1052

If you ask a woman this question she will disagree, if you ask a man they will agree.

I think that men can never get enough, and I think that as women if we can do our best understand this and then to keep up then our men will be happy and maybe change their answer to this question.

Answer 1053

i think because we get lazy, we start taking each other for granted, all those little annoyances start buidling up and we stop appreciating the other person for their uniqueness.... it's work, but it's not a death sentence! sex should continue and get better and better once married... as your comfort level and trust grows, why shouldn't making love soar? my thoughts ;)

Answer 1054

I totally agree with Junebug ^5

Answer 1055

Sex does not stop

Answer 1056

I'm not married and I don't know but I sure hope sex remains just as exciting after marriage as it is before!

Answer 1057

There is something wrong there for sure...it should never stop. I am as horny as I was the first time 25 years ago...maybe you married the wrong guy

Answer 1058

I don't really have any answer to that but i don't think it does it only occurs in partners who lack self attachment. I think what is needed is some time in their lifes to reconnect with themselves. I have read some of your books and i must say they are interesting and captivating.

Answer 1059

i think it stops because once your married you can have sex anytime you wont.

just keep it interesting!

put some black sheets over everything, buy some sexy lingerie and have some thing romantic to drink in your champagne glasses and make a night out of it!

Answer 1060

its not the sex that stopes its the people that no longer pay attention to it. when we get married i think that we can can find a new state of comfort to make the sex more passionate more hot more exciteing. we have to be willing to find the time. that is our poroblem.

Answer 1061

One thing you have to know.

Before marriage, there is no child, no parents-in-law, no families affairs. It means less stress and more energy for anything including sex.

After marriage, there is children, parents-in-law, families affairs and even pets. It means more stress and less energy for anything including sex.

And, sex will stop at the end of life, of yours.

Answer 1062

u kno i think there is alot to the fact that a person feels somewhat settled after marriage and therefore the steam in the bedroom dwindles, that is what needs to stop

Answer 1063

only naive people or dimwits would think like that.it doesnt stop it slows down and it depends on the lenght of the relationship.i dont think anything can be done to stop people thinking this way its like an old wives tale.

Answer 1064

Well...In my marriage, my husband works long hours. When he comes home, he eats supper, then he just goes to bed because he has to be up early. We still have the weekends though. I think it's because we get too busy in our daily lives.

Answer 1065

I disagree - sex gets better when you love and trust the person. The longer we are married the better it gets and trust me it was good from the start.

Answer 1066

I think people blame it on marriage...but I think kids, jobs, and major responsibility is the real reason sex slows down in a marriage.

Answer 1067

Says who, twenty five years and it hasn't stopped! You work around swing shifts,kids,tired,etc. But I still like his brown eyes and cute ,crooked smile and THAT smoldering look.Who says sex stops.It gets better because you know what each other likes .

Answer 1068

I have no idea. Sex and marriage is like never skipping breakfast. Its the best meal of the day for your body, and mind.

Answer 1069

women feel as if they already have the man so they don't have to make a special effort to make him happy which is very wrong because now that we have him we must do our best to keep him so give it up morning , noon and night but just don't overdose him cause he will get tired of it .

Answer 1070

That's not what has happened with us. If we get too busy or tired during the week, we have a date nite on Friday nites and have a good time.

Answer 1071

I don't know, but marriage always takes the mystery, the challenge, the spontaneity out of sex until it becomes "ho-hum". I haven't seen it fail yet.

Answer 1072

Create a Televeision show that displays something different. Most people go by what they see on TV anyway.

Answer 1073

SUCH A EASY ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION,, IN ANY RELATIONSHIP,, ONCE YOUR THAT LUCKY TO HAVE ONE ANOTHER AND YOU BOTH HAVE SPENT TIME, KNOWING ALL THE INS N OUTS OF THE MARRAGE, AND YOU BOTH,, ENJOYED LOVEMAKING,, ONE OF YOU FELT A TINY TINY BUMMER FEELING THAT PUT THE SEX TO A O ITS WORK,, INSTEAD OF BEING EXCITED TO DO DIFFERENT THINGS AND FORPLAY, MY WHOLE LIFE,, IVE NEVER YET MET A LADY WHO MIND IS EVER NAUGHTY AS IN WEARING SEXY CLOTHES AT HOME RUNNING AROUND IN PRETTY BRAS N FOR HIM AND TEASING HIM, TOUCHING HIM AND VISE VERSA,

ALSO BEING GOOFEE, LIKE FREEZING HIS DRAWERS IN THE FREEZER ALL OF THEM, WHEN HES GONE SO WHEN HE FINDS THEM YOU GET THE NEXT TRICK,, AND GIGGLING,, ETC,, BRAGGING TO HIM THAT YOUR HEADLIGHTS KEEP POPPING ON,, OMG,, GET THE IDEA,, TAKES 2 TO TANGO SWEETIE.

Answer 1074

this consensus is for those who believe in this bull crap. Me myself believe just the opposite of it. If everybody jump off a cliff are you jumping too???

Answer 1075

because, like the old wives tales, or cliche's - there is some truth in it...

more sex - less marriage??



;-) kidding.



men need to remember to tell their wife that she is the object of his desire at all times, even when she is sat on the sofa in his old t-shirt and leggins with a towel around her head and the delicious J lo comes on tv - ;-) and we girls need to remember to put sexy underwear on underneath the old T!!

Answer 1076

I don't agree with that because you can create new forms, positions, situations and keep your partner always looking at you as an attractive person. to live together for anyone is a challenge. even with our parents, family, etc. can you imagine with a person that you barely know? we have to have imagination and be always ready for changes.

Answer 1077

OK let me get this straight you want me to think about you and get excited all the time. let me explain something to you. when I see you in bed naked, when I see you in the bathroom naked, bed room naked,dressing room naked,living room naked. and every time you get me in bed naked you want to talk about things and ask me to show you my private side. Thank you I will keep my 4 Girl friends for times that I want to be with them and PS 2 of them at the same time. so you can enjoy your whatever with your husband. shure,OK right. Not me. over 50 and having just the time of my life. PS don't know if any one told you but they don't bury you together.

Answer 1078

We waited till married to have sex. Now it has been 21 years and we are still going strong...we still love it!

Answer 1079

This is due to the discovery by deititians that the food that decreases sex drive in women is WEDDING CAKE.

Answer 1080

Yup and pigs fly. You make time. Once your married and have children time is hard to find but not impossible. Don't believe everything your hear about that.

Answer 1081

the consensus is one giant of a frigid beast trying to change its face to his ass.Sex never stops, if couple really love each other..matured couple know exactly where to draw passion.

Answer 1082

I hope it is not your hubby who has stopped loving you.

You look so beautiful

In answer to your question I think the answer is familiarity.

Try to be naughty in places where you would never normally try.It adds spice and lust back to the marriage

Answer 1083

Its taken granted that you may get it anytime as well people are forgetting to rekindle their affair as they get married . It become a routine and the chase is over .

Answer 1084

I THINK COUPLES SHOULD CONTINUOUSLY HAVE A STRONG OPEN LINE OF COMMUNICATION,AT LEAST HAVE 2 OR 3 NIGHTS PER MONTH FOR A DATE NIGHT OR WEEKEND.TAKE CLASSES TOGETHER ( LINE DANCING,BALLROOM DANCING OR COOKING CLASSES) ALSO THE WIFE COULD DO A BELLY DANCE OR A POLE DANCE CLASS AND GUY COULD PRACTICE HIS CHIPPENDALE OR MEN IN MOTION MOVES IN FRONT OF A MIRROR,AND HE MUST BE WEARING A G-STRING.ALL OF THIS TO PLEASE AND ENTERTAIN HIS WIFE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.MEN DROOL OVER WOMEN WEARING SLINKY CLOTHES,HIS WIFE OR PARTNER CAN ALWAYS PURCHASE SLINKY SLUTTY EROTIC OUTFITS TO GIVE EACH OTHER A JOLT

Answer 1085

I don't believe that it stops, but it does slow down drastically. I suppose since we are married now that we don't need the intimacy any longer.Me, myself, I felt that he got me, so now he doesn't have to show his love or perform as often!

Answer 1086

I don't think sex stops, it's just not as frequent---Maybe once a month, taking a get-a-way trip somewhere romantic---not necessarily costing a lot--Just somewhere spontaneous

Answer 1087

Well to be honest with you i think it is a load of crap. I have been married for over seven years and still haven't came across that problem. I think we just need to prove them wrong!

Answer 1088

Um, with my marriage, it pretty much went from many times a day to maybe once a week. If my husband didn't start paying more attention to his computer since we said our I do's and more to me, I would probably give him more attention in bed!

Answer 1089

Sex doesn't stop, it's the people not wanting it. All due to the added stress of marriage.

Answer 1090

Really I donot agree...I think i am an exception to the consesus opinion.....I have beautiful times.....i am married for the past 20 years..now...That has never stopped.....on the other hand...it is increasing.....believe me.

Answer 1091

well in my life the sex got alot more better not meaning it wasn't good but we had sex maybe twice a week now it is at least three times a day maybe more that is not try.

Answer 1092

as a normal male i love having good sex at least a couple of times a day myself and i have had good sex with most of the ladies i have been with

Answer 1093

That's not the consensus in my house.

Answer 1094

I have been with my Husband for 13 years, and married for 4 years, we have a WONDEFUL sex life!! He used to talk to his mates about it all the time, which pissed me!!! So I told him to shut his mouth, so they assume he gets nothing because he saids nothing!

Answer 1095

It is a media-inspired myth. Movies and TV need to depict more hot-for-each-other married couples.

Answer 1096

The excitment stops and it just becomes a habit or a chore. Neither partner looks forward to it.

Answer 1097

I wasnt under that consensus,, Sex doesnt stop unless you want it to stop, and then why be married......???? and if it stops you probaly wont be married long..

Answer 1098

See, now if the sex didn't start until AFTER marriage, it wouldn't stop when you get married

Answer 1099

I have heard this, some do some don't.

You may lose interest in your husband after you get to know him well. I have.

To change this? Abolish marriage?

I have this book titled 'Married Alive'

Answer 1100

it doesn't stop in most cases, it just moves to a small crawl. you know kids, not in the mood, inlaws, blah blah blah..he goes to strip bars because your not giving him any, he comes home plastered and that puts you not in the mood..and the fun stops for now.. maybe a week or a month later you'll both be back at it.. so it doesn't stop it just crawls....

Answer 1101

Hey jacky?that's not true!!! our change of attitude and attraction,which we do without realising is the result of all this . Sex is always supposed to be lively for ever thats wat i found out here, hope it will help you too and they wont mind if i share it with u, all the best .lovingrelationship.org/com/

Answer 1102

I dont know that marriage is the only thing that stops it. My boyfriend and I moved in together and it seems to have dropped off.

Answer 1103

i feel that when your married there are so many other important things going on in your life that you are unable to remember what it was like to have that kind of sexual contact/intercourse with that special person. i feel that 99% of the worlds married people are more happy to go to bed and sleep then to go to bed and do it. just my opinion.

Answer 1104

being married for almost 19 yrs,sex stops gradually for us.lack of trust and out of hand jealousy are one of the main reasons.

Answer 1105

well i hope my sex life gets better, for the wedding night we bought the book, everyweek we are going to change positions, and we always make time to spend with each other w/o having sex

Answer 1106

Lets face it people are followers and not leaders. No one steps outside the norm and makes their own relationship. That's the problem.

Answer 1107

its bs if two ppl truly love each other the love making after marriage is one of the everyday activities that makes a marriage stronger and worth the battle

Answer 1108

I so don't want sex to stop, but sometimes he can put you through so much that the interest to have sex with him goes away.

Answer 1109

to tell you the truth, you can't really change it. it's free will and everybody has it. people don't take marriage seriously....sex before and then all the responcibilities kick in: bills, kids, taxes, the list is seamless. so, in between you and me, it's a win/loose senario. and, believe me, i'm all for marriage... but you just can't change people. and i guess that's it. :0)

Answer 1110

well i think it is because when a couple get married they are too busy with work, bills, and children.......that they are way tooooo......TIRED to have sex. abd i also think that after having sex with ur spouse for too long....that you're not that excited anymore so the energy go now. that is what i think

Answer 1111

well i think it has to do with the comfortablility factor and you work come home eat and get tired most men do that. also age after i feel 40 most woman and thats me im talking about just dont feel like it i am to busy with supper dishes cleaning laundry and i just want me time i want my own time to do what i want and not be bothered,

Answer 1112

I think sex is more fun and exciting when your single and non commited!, When you marry it takes all the fun out of the sex!.

Answer 1113

Sex doesn't stop, as long as the parts work.Too many people stop commmunicating after they get married.

Answer 1114

I been with my man for 16 years, work with him for 14 years, and the spark is still there. It's great.

Answer 1115

maybe u should make it more exciting have you ever thought role playing or something like that or play a game i went to a sex party one time and they had this game where it had one thing a week for the man and the wife they took turns one week she did it and the other week he did and they had to make it just for them

Answer 1116

Things become a routine. You get wrapped up in work, kids . . . then you no longer consider yourselves as a couple but as parents and eventually start living as room - mates.

Answer 1117

its not that we get lazy for sex, we have different sched. and duties bed times and such...

now we have to be more creative in our timing and since we have a place to come together now its about being in the same place at the same time, with all the duties and kids done. and we have to make it fun and exciting......I for one have to be willing at 6:am cause thats when my honey comes home from work :-)

when we dated we would have sex on every time we were together and its no different now we have sex every time we are together in bed his days off or mine its every same time in bed. :-)

Answer 1118

i really dont know i have been married to my wife for over 11 years and the sex is still great

Answer 1119

true sex begins with marrage, sex before marrage is called lust, your a mark on his scoreboard. most of those opinions come from sitcoms, o no, here comes the old ball and chain. in reality he is a very happy and lucky man, he wouldn,t trade places with anyone.

Answer 1120

Don't get married, just fool around with different guys, when you feel like it. Married life is boring anyway.

Answer 1121

I guess when you get married, your attitude and expectation towards each other changes; and the "excitement"of doing something "you shouldnt do" before you get married disappears; so many tend to do as one please; and stop doing this important activity in marriages

Answer 1122

People overload their lives with responsiblities and burn themselves out that they are so tired they forget that they are sharing their life and not just living it for one. People need to stop and smell the roses more often.

Answer 1123

People need to not change when married

Answer 1124

My husband and I have been married for 11 yrs. and our sex life is better then ever. He knows what I like and like wise.

Answer 1125

If we lived in a world like that I could never get married. That's stupid and I can't imagine where you heard such a thing.

Answer 1126

"What can be done to change this consensus?"

A conscious effort of the couple to remove above mentioned roadblocks.

Answer 1127

No , it is not like that . But if you dont use new techinques on regular intervals , it will be like that. so to continue sex , be creative in bed , like 69 , an dlot of kisses

Answer 1128

damm been married for 19 years and still do it with my wife at lease 2 times a week...

Answer 1129

i thing to chang this consensus you should be spand more time with your husbend after married and then you fill he is not your husbend he your friend and when ou become friend then i thing your sex is not stop in your hole life

Answer 1130

I think its because the ones who are happily having sex are too busy doing it to complain about not getting any.

Answer 1131

who said that? why would sex stop when you get married? and do you actually take it seriously? when you get married you do it for love and you want to be with the other person as much as they want to be with you..anything else is fake and simple excuse.

Answer 1132

There are beliefs and ideas. The belief is that you guys are married. There is the idea that it has to be depressing. I would rather be looked at as the wife as well as "permenant girlfriend."

Answer 1133

I have never heard this, but my bf said that things will change like his freedom to go out with the boys, whats with that.

Answer 1134

The lovey dovey butterfly in the stomach sh!t goes away

Answer 1135

because, we aren't fun anymore. it's become a core and of course .

when you ask for something different you get "sure" "okay" and that's it.

they don't take the time to learn something new or at least try to learn something new.

And you happen to know what makes them happy.

I am in that boat.

with one oar.

Answer 1136

the only way you can stop this is. dont let it happen. or dont get married. i am married and hasnt changed the way we have sex or the amount. still having 3somesetc.... its the couple that counts...

Answer 1137

i hear that a lot to, but i think its the people, not marriage or the length time being married, i was happy to hear my mom and dad still have it, they've been married 26 years they are 64 and 67, that's impressive and makes me happy, they are still happy that way!!!!!!

Answer 1138

Is it the cynic in me that assumes this is just a way of trawling for material for another book? - Whats wrong running out of ides?

Answer 1139

now days people are under a lot of stess working kids so on . and the older you get you just get used to each other or you just don,t turn the other one on like you used to do .the sex drive you once had for your spouse is no longer there.

Answer 1140

It doesn't stop, it just takes a little more work and you have to make time for each other. Make a date night, and then you can be passionate and reckless. I know it works for me.

Answer 1141

Familiarity breeds contempt - Aesop

Answer 1142

actually you have more sex after you are married, its just boring and robotic... it doesnt have the same level of excitement as being intimate with someone new... people dont put emphasis in keeping their old flame freshly lit

Answer 1143

marriage always seemed like a dead end to me. There's no excitment, no adventure. If u have children, the romance and time alone no longer exist.

Answer 1144

It doesn't stop. It only decreases. I have found that if it is done sporadically then it will heighten everyone's senses.



Also, it must include something out of the ordinary???????

Answer 1145

Time is big factor here- with kids & responsibilities - people need to plan romantic getaways to rekindle the flames.

Answer 1146

It doesn't stop during the first part of marriage. If you have more than one child, then it will stop. when the children get older, it will begin again, i hope. that is what i'm counting on at least. ;)

Answer 1147

you have to keep it interesting, introduce new things and techniques. set a play date, go out on a date. you sometimes have to put a little effort into it, but I have not experienced this let down thank god. buy that special someone a new exciting outfit to wear in bedroom that tells them you think they are sexy.

Answer 1148

you tell me cause it was sure good b4 the marriage also a little word of advice the cooking slacks off too sorry guys but tats the truth

Answer 1149

I don't know where you got that information. It is certainly not the case in my marriage. Maybe I missed that questionairre? I must have been busy doing something else,lol.

Answer 1150

i think it's because when you get married, everything gets so

serious. life seems to get in the way. there's a house or apt to

deal with, work, errands, children (if you have them) laundry.

things start to get in the way until you either have no time or

no desire to have sex.

Answer 1151

because after a time, time divides and affairs start. the fact two people can stay together is meaningless, when the sex is gone,so is the love.

Answer 1152

Tell them if this happens then there is a door open for the spouse to cheat. also your marriage won't last in some situations.

Answer 1153

I never noticed it had stopped when I was married. Actually, with a little creativity it was actually more interesting as well as fulfilling.

Answer 1154

I don't know what that's all about because when I get married I'm gonna have A LOT of sex!!!!!!!

Answer 1155

a lot of things get in the way of good sex when you are already married.

Answer 1156

My husband and i have been together for ten yrs, only only married two. Our sex life is the same as it always was.

Answer 1157

I have not a clue, but I say, when the sex stops, the marriage stops!

Answer 1158

sex goes out the window after about 2 years in any relationship, probably all down to boredom

Answer 1159

I have never agreed with that concensus...my husband and I both have large sexual appetites...so we still have sex about 6 times a week.

Answer 1160

What does it matter what the consensus is? As long as you're happy....

Answer 1161

omg r u jackie from the bold and beautiful girl u rock u should have killed stephanie she gets on my nerves lol

Answer 1162

i feel some times space is need to miss each other, and some times the sex appeal is gone, that is why some married couples cheat and some get other to get them exicted and go bach to give it to the one they are suspose to.

Answer 1163

You have the love and you are too busy to show it which can lead to other failures, like not showing that you love them by making love and in turn makes them cheat which then makes you divorce.

Answer 1164

easy men work women spend sex goes out because when it comes to women they think thats all men think about n there right its genetic women nest men hunt 4 women because the women spend to much time nesting n not enuogh time in bed

Answer 1165

That all depends on the couple. When I got married...the sex did stop for ME ...but NOT for HIM ...guess that's why we are NO LONGER married.

Answer 1166

Girl.. Let me tell you when I was married I was hoping I wasnt because I was hurtn' for him to stop. We did it all to much. Now were divorced, he still calls me. Women just whip it on men .. We are good like that!!!!!!!!

Answer 1167

If sex stops watch out!! somebody is getting it but not you. To answer your question yes, unfortunately sex stops.

Answer 1168

what stops? whose consensus? after 10 years we getting better and better!

Answer 1169

Sex stops at home because it becomes boring but starts with the neighbours .

Answer 1170

I didn't know that this happens. Marriage is what you make it. Putting your partner first is the key to an awesome marriage and everything else will follow.

Answer 1171

People feel that now that they are married that they don't have have to do the extra things that they did before....WRONG when you get married you have to do more.And the sex will get better..People just get lazy when they get married...

Answer 1172

why would sex stop after marriage?

i would think it would be more wonderful with every growing day to be with your loved one and hold them tight and thank the lord for this partner

Answer 1173

Why??? My wife and i love sex together i hope it never stops

hope I get to chase her around in my walker when i get to a ripe old age

Answer 1174

My opinion .. there should be a non stop sex on the spouse

Answer 1175

Sex doesn't stop, it just stops between the two married people. They explore other people... explore other bodies, and scream other names.

Answer 1176

Maybe the people who think that aren't married to the right person!

Answer 1177

Sex stops if you let it. YOu see each other every day, so it's up to you and your spouse to find ways to make it interesting and fun.

Answer 1178

"the consensus of opinion" is redundant

it's either consensus OR opinion - you don't use BOTH words in this question...

Answer 1179

Well in my case it did me and my husband had great sex until we got married - on our wedding night we said I DO and he said I do not . I heard his late wife say he did the same thing to her . But i stayed with him anyway until he passed away .

Answer 1180

Hey, great idea for a book! Send me a list of all the people you sold your books to.

Answer 1181

that is crap.



sex is the best in a monogamous, committed and loving relationship.



studies show married couples have more sex than singles.

Answer 1182

Keep the sex hot and exciting

Answer 1183

more people need to change their frame of mind obviously.it should actually be better given the commitment you made. I mean come on < above all others>

Answer 1184

WHO SAID THAT???????

My hubby and I have been married for 13 years.

The sex has not stopped at all.

Its actually getting better and better.

Don't change nothing.

What people think or do is there business.

As long as I'm getting me some.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1185

well to me after u have kids your nerves get worse an then there is no time an the wife may feel her body isnt good enough to be seen anymore or may feel like there isnt enough time to like when dating or something.......... may feel like well we are married now so we need to grow up an stop bein so horny or something.. lol

Answer 1186

I can stop sex after marry with you.

Answer 1187

I experienced the 7 year slide. For me, it just seemed like too much work.



Things also change after you have kids.

Answer 1188

It doesn't stop!!



Those people need to be educated. Change the reference points in their minds.

Answer 1189

It hasn't stopped for me & I've been married for 6 years.

Answer 1190

where did you get this idea from. Sex got better after I married my husband

Answer 1191

Eventually people are get older or tire everyday. Or maybe they have the same sex all the time. or maybe you should try something new?

Answer 1192

'Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret,'- this perhaps is the deciding factor. -No worry. ..just change Ur minds & all Ur settings, rearrange all Ur views & review all Ur demands, ...and move still faster on your heavenly track... -A VERY GOOD LUCK to U.

Answer 1193

It really should be once we have kids......

Life happens and we get busy and lose sight of marriage until it becomes a problem or gossip with friends.

Answer 1194

This is response numer 829. Are you researching a book?

Answer 1195

i think that i am not married. cuz i did stop for me.... i felt safe i didn't need to have sex anymore.... but that wasn't good. so i would let him touch me when i was sleeping so i would let my mind wounder and i had to change things so that is what i did

Answer 1196

I believe that they might mean that sex, for the sake of sex, stops...But love grows, therefore, "making love" increases in frequency.

Answer 1197

A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Answer 1198

Different strokes for different folks. It's all on the couple. I haven't lost the flame we been married for six years. K.I.H. KEEP IT HOTT

Answer 1199

We all need to read more of your novels Jackie.

Answer 1200

because men complain. but, the romance may become stagnant, and women lose interest, making a cycle. it is a constant effort to keep the lovin alive!

Answer 1201

Be a Freak! lol. Let him know u still want him, and if hes an airhead and still doesnt get the hint, go to your nearest kinky store and shop.

Answer 1202

*Puzzled* When I got married 35 yrs ago..sex only got better and better.

To change what you say is for people like me to tell the truth, sex is great!

Answer 1203

You lose interest,it is no longer a big deal. You find that just getting along is more important.

Answer 1204

Because..................

When you get married your sex apill just dont really combine any more cause he/she knows that he/she already taste you for a long time and thats why he/she goes to have another. to kiss another and he/she thinks its much good for another cause its young not too old like your husband/wife...........

Too stop this try to give he/she your sx apill when you first meet..

Answer 1205

Because when couples get married they feel they have done all that is necessary to "catch" their mate and by getting married they feel there is no longer the need to please their partner sexually! personally i think it is crap sex should not stop just because you get married!

Answer 1206

Have sex who cares what others say..its your married life.

Answer 1207

it does slow down because it just isnt a top priority when you have children and bills and all that. but i can only speak for my self when i say though it may be less often it is still as great.

Answer 1208

No not at all. Sex gets better. The better a person knows you and knows what you like ect. - the better it gets

Answer 1209

I dont konw, never been married, but i married you anytime, anyday, and only can promise you that sex never stop with a woman like you. Please, send me a message and tell me YES, all my dreams will come true.

Answer 1210

Uh, limit the number of people answering to a select few that don't feel that way.

Answer 1211

I sure hope this is not true, otherwise I should of told my fiance Hell NO I dont want to marry you! LMAO



Everybody needs a little freaky -freaky once in a while! Go toy shopping together or explore a threesome to keep things interesting. IDK

Answer 1212

cause people put that in there minds. if you would change it around and put in your head your gonna have sex everyday it will happen. people get lazy, but you can manipulate your mind and stop being so lazy.

Answer 1213

that's easy, because married people don't have SEX!!! Just last month I'd look at my wife and said "lets get naked and have sex" i'd thought she was going to kill me, and then last week we were sitting on the couch, and i was rubbing her toes while we were watching what she wanted to watch, and i said "baby make love to me" and i could'nt keep her hands off me

Answer 1214

It doesn't have to be that way. Although age does take a toll on sex drive.

Answer 1215

have you heard the quote, "sex is like air. it is no big deal unless you're not getting any." bottom line: when sex is readily available it's no big deal. when you aren't attached to anyone legally (or whatever you wanna call it), you could lose it at any time.

Answer 1216

Because when you see your partner at their worse.... the memory of that first wonderful, magical glance just vanishes straight out of the window!

Answer 1217

it's true. especially after you become parents. there just isn't enough "couple" time, unless you have a nanny and a totally different part of the house to escape to.

Answer 1218

keep having sex. Tell your friends who are married to keep having sex. Heck, why don't you have sex with your married friends. Do anything to keep having sex.

Answer 1219

I think if I could get rid of the TV the other activities would get much more frequent.

Answer 1220

The hunt is over therefore the leopard changes his spots.

Answer 1221

i work with a guy in australia post and he told me that the best way to get rid of your sex life is to get married.what can be done------------get married and have a girlfriend too and if your wife dissagrees let her join in.

Answer 1222

when u buy a pair of shoes, will u satisfy just for this ? noop, u will want more and even better..... even till best will never satisfy....if u maintain where u are, u will never know how shoes trends go, and how fashion go.... this is the same theory.....we are curious to everything new to us.....

Answer 1223

because the longer youre with someone the longer you go in between sex without caring

Answer 1224

LOL! It was just started from fat bald single men who use it as an excuse for why they couldnt get married.

Answer 1225

That's the craziest thing I ever heard! Oh, excuse me, I'm going to go have sex with my husband.

Answer 1226

I believe that once you have become comfortable with your partner,the spark seems to fade away as the years go by.

Answer 1227

because once you become married your plate just gets to full to try to have sex. some alone time would probably fix that situation.

Answer 1228

I would say absolutely not if you use communication, imagination, flirtation and stimulation ;)



if you truly are Ms. Jackie

love all your books and am truly a huge fan of your books.

MJ

Answer 1229

It doesn't stop. You have to kill it!Sex is like rain .You can pray for it, but it is not gonna rain till it's time.Enjoy it when it comes. Meanwhile a raindance might help both.(wink wink)

Answer 1230

To me when you get married, sex starts.

Answer 1231

i've been married for 10 years and our sex life has not slowed down.

Answer 1232

... but at least it never has to get to battery operated. Without a life long partner, where is the guarantee of when / who / how much is your next encounter?

Answer 1233

When you meet a guy you have passion, once you get to know him more that passion becomes love. Passion is Hot love is caring.

Answer 1234

when boy meets girl!

the sex is wide open!

no limits!

boy wants to impress girl!

she the same!

married!

it seems no need to be wide open!

the dust settles!

the woman may feel she no longer needs to have sex as much!

it seems people have a problem with the difference between love & sex!

they do have different meanings!

but!!!!!! people think sex solidifies the relationship.

s/he loves me!!!!!!!!

we had/have sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with marriage.

the courtship ends.

it does not have to!

this is just the way people think!

Answer 1235

an advice from my very happyly married friend is that "spice things up once a while"...spare sometime just for the two of you, treating it as another honeymoon.

Answer 1236

love is a gift but it takes two.

talk about it.

see what wrong.

be nice and sweet.

if he has fear then back off.

let him tell you whats wrong.

its better not to guess.

from the son of David

Answer 1237

You have to be able to keep the spark going....I know i had sex alot more before we got married.

Answer 1238

after having the kids, then sex stops being fun cause we're too tired

Answer 1239

you have to work on it, and sex will not cease. No marriage is easy, but communication and discussion of needs are soooo important. If you are gettin enough, let your mate know, and if you are not let them know, too.

Answer 1240

Oh come on! That's just nuts and you know it. You must be in need of trivial data for a new book.

Answer 1241

uh no way!!! it CAN be hard to have sex everynight yes, but man....my man and i have sex probably 4 times a week and we have been together for about 4 years.....you got to keep it fun and exciting..not the same old same old.....

Answer 1242

Ummm, don't know, does it? That would be sad. Maybe it's because couples are too busy with work and all? And if they have kids, they're even more busy, right?

Answer 1243

Men say they not like to much eat the some food every day. They are sick

Answer 1244

Stops, No... Changes over time... Certainly.



~

Answer 1245

Sit on the couch for a while, then makeout then sex begins.

Answer 1246

It always does, or at least slows to a trickle. Why many guys don't want to marry!

Answer 1247

womans fault, they get wierd over many reasons, being a mommy, being a wife, cleaning etc. Sex drive goes she pulls away, the man pulls away, bad cycle

Answer 1248

hey, jackie do this an it will work all time when you wont some

walk around nuke and tell him what you wont do somebody will for sure if that don.t call me

Answer 1249

How much ar ya gonna pay us for giving you the answers for ya next book huh?

Answer 1250

It stops at marriage? Boy are we ahead of the game on that one!

Answer 1251

I didn't get that memo...my husband and I have a great sex life...hot and heavy...gets better as the years go by!

Answer 1252

Does it? Thats a new one.

I thought when one gets married sex starts!

Get your fundamentals right. You have a messed up mind.

Answer 1253

I think tv helps add to the sterotype. They should portray marriage different on tv.

Answer 1254

i,ve been married for 30 years, and sex is more full on now than its ever been, hit 40 and hit sexual high.

Answer 1255

It hasn't stopped in my marriage. Maybe slowed down a little, but man we were rabbits when we dated.

Answer 1256

I don't know but its not like that with me and the hubby... Well, now it is, because he's in iraq, but if we're alone together we can't keep our hands off of each other!

Answer 1257

because of thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat ... as Jackie knows!

Answer 1258

Familiarity, darling. Plain and simple.

Get in touch with me I have a unique story idea!

Answer 1259

I feel that when two people are in love they should continue to do the things that they used and not stop at it once tehy are marriieed.What many ppl forget is that marriage is only a piece of paper in reality to certify that two people man/woman gay or lesbian are having a offical relationship that is official and legal-binding/.But should all activities stop after marriage .The truth is not.Couples shuld continue to do the things they love wether marriage or not.Like fishing going out together.Likewise sex should not stop.But wait take a breather and see.Why do we say when we get married the sex stops.It si quite unfair to say when one gets married thes exs tops.Sex should be a course of interaction and binding netween two ppl provided that both parties agree that is and they should feel comfortable.the truthis with the change of social attitudes young and old are having sex wether u like it or not.Hence your notion today does not stand

Answer 1260

I am not sure about it stopping, but it sure does slow down. I wish I knew how to change it in my marriage.

Answer 1261

people need to brag more. maybe married couples dont talk about sex as much b/c it is less appropriate now that they are "tied down"

Answer 1262

Marry someone who you are really into and both put the effort in.

Answer 1263

It's confusing, but after seven marriages to six different women I don't know. Sorry.

Answer 1264

Perhaps most people do not find the right mate. As my husband and I get older it gets better.

Answer 1265

no this is wrong thinking.in actual sex enjoyment starts after marriage,bcz true love starts when u get married.

Answer 1266

I hope that's not true! I'm waiting until I'm married to START having sex!!

Answer 1267

may be some need or are looking for some spice in the bad room .an the one thy have is not doing it .look for some spice in the bad room .let see google it spice in bad room .or help in put some spice in my bad room .i loOK for things that same like it wood work .hot thing for him too like at on you body .Fredrick's of Hollywood may help .have some have play games or some thing .you have too work at ok ...good luck to you an yours....

Answer 1268

It has't stopped for me, been married 10 years and its still great

Answer 1269

i think because when you are not married, it is more exciting because it is riskier. but when you are married, it is less exciting because you know that person is yours. like if you randomly made out with a stranger, it would be exciting because you hardly know them. but if you made out with your husband, t would be different because you guys are married and know each other well. and you probably have made out before. it kind of like old news.

Answer 1270

30 years married still going strong, but we both work at it to keep it interesting.

Answer 1271

hey..I been married 10 yrs..and the sex keeps going

Answer 1272

that's not always true.. but for most it is.. it`s because usually the woman.. got her man so why try.. i think if you want to keep your man from straying you need to keep it fresh and exciting..trying new ways to keep his attention on you.. sexy clothes, lingere, keep yourself from getting fat.. always touch your man in a sexual way.. whether its a pat on the butt, or just flashing him your ****.. keep him wanting you.. and as for men don`t stop telling your woman that she is beautiful. don`t stop being passionate.. or don`t stop being romantic and spontaneous.. always keep 1 night a week open for a date with each other..

Answer 1273

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE IN LEGAL STAGE ALREADY (with marriage certificate). Sometimes it's so nice to have it when you missed one another..or with thrill.., and URAL is right ..if you're after sex 'DON'T GET INVOLVE'.. surely you're sex life will be lessen.

Answer 1274

Married couples have sex more than is realized.

Answer 1275

The truth of the matter is that men do not understand women and women do not understand men, hence the problem.

Answer 1276

CURE FOUND FOR SEX !!! Wedding cake. Second question = girl next door.

Answer 1277

The trap is laid and the prey caught now lets move on to the other trap.

Answer 1278

dont let her eat the wedding cake,any man will tell you its the only food that stops a womans sex drive.

Answer 1279

Honey who ever told you that was a lie cause when your married the sex can go on as long as you want...........

Answer 1280

Well it stopped for me, within six months, and I eventually had to get help from my sisters boyfriend to get it started again!

Answer 1281

MAKE SURE YOURE MAN ISNT TAKING IBUPROFEN LONG TERM USE IN MALES CAUSES ED IVE BEEN MARRIED 28 YEARS MY HUSBAND WOULD BE DOIN IT ALL THE TIME IF I LET HIM HES STILL ALL HANDS ITS GOOD I GUESS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Answer 1282

you have sex with the same person over and over, then it gets boring. eventually work and kids and other responsibilities take hold then theres no spark and no time for it.

Answer 1283

I don't believe it necessarily stops, but it can decrease when other factors come into play..... like stress, working long hours, children.

Answer 1284

Have sex several times a night and let us know..

Answer 1285

It certainly slows down. Then after you have the kid, it stops.

What can be done? Don't get married!

Answer 1286

well ive been married 11 yrs this month and have more hot sex with my husband than ever in our entire relationship! and its better than ever!

Answer 1287

tell the women to keep having sex and if their husband is know good at it tell him what to do better and guys are just gone to have to accept it and get better

Answer 1288

will in some way it does ..when you get married bill's babbies expensis doctors car payments creadite cards that gets in the way of sex .....and it depence opn that person that can't controll his feels if he has any ...but i love sex no matter what i love being with my husbend ......

Answer 1289

i think its because people think when you get married you'll have sex like everyday so eventually you'll get bored and just stop because when you're not married its risky to have sex and you wont do it as often.

Answer 1290

I think it only gets better- married 17 years now!!!

Answer 1291

Who the heck said that, Martha Stewart. She's off her coconuts.

Answer 1292

It doesn't Stop is just that you can have all the time and you get full of it

Answer 1293

Be exciting. Role play. Be romantic. Find each other's kinks and explore them.

Answer 1294

Ummm.... the first thing that has to change is that the sex has to not stop!



Sorry, couldn't resist!

Answer 1295

your marriage and sex is only what you make off it. Or you just should not be married.

Answer 1296

i do not like calling it sex. i perfer calling it " making love" and im married and it does not stop. i mean that was just the beginning of it for me and im glad that it was.

Answer 1297

There is a good reason we have no chandelier in the bedroom anymore! Need I say more?

Answer 1298

It is a proven fact that "wedding cake" will nullify the sexual appetite of most all females. Yes it is!!

Answer 1299

It shouldn't stop. If a woman and a man is trying it doesn't stop. You have to make it interesting and rewarding.

Answer 1300

I think folks get complacent and thinks that they don't have to work as hard to keep the marriage going.

Answer 1301

um maybe if women would stop letting themselves go and get ridiculously overweight then their husbands would still want to bang them. women just stop craving sex. while men....we'll it all they ever bloody want.



sorry. but the truth hurts.

Answer 1302

Because it does. The excitement fades, schedules get busy, children need attention....

Answer 1303

Cause. Marriage is associated with tradition which is sometimes associated with older people and boredom.

Answer 1304

you know i am in the same situation, i don't know why men stop to be interested in the same woman who is now his wife. i think marriage ruins the sex.

Answer 1305

i'm not married, so maybe i don't know yet, but i don't agree with that consensus

Answer 1306

it doesent stop just depends how the relationship is really. i kow been married 10 yrs and get it everyday

Answer 1307

I feel it's because you become comfortable & in a routine of the relationship.

& We get older.

Answer 1308

I think U get less quantity but better quality. I think it gets better, as U know your partner more and get comfortable with each other.

Answer 1309

Both parties must not take each others for granted, must continue up-keep to improve themselves!

Answer 1310

You know its NOT true!! actually married people have more sex than singles.

Answer 1311

not with me i have sex 24/7

Answer 1312

weird? but i want to answer it anyway...i think tv has done most of that but when u get married thats when its supposed to start and never end

Answer 1313

well i was with my wife for 9 years sex was great been married for another 9 and has almost come to a screeching hult once every other mo. she says she just don't feel like it ..... so i can vouch for it just stay dating...

Answer 1314

that is the consesnsus because people are stupid!!

we have great sex all the time and it is much more economically feasable than dating worthless tramps!!

Answer 1315

Ban marriage!

Answer 1316

show people that marriage is amazing and that your relationship with your partner should strengted day by day

like a plant, relationships should be taken care of and nurtured every day

Answer 1317

Gotta keep it interesting... Time to break out the leathers

Answer 1318

No, no, no. There is no consensus abot this. Sex can be transformed, but, stopped, no, no, no.

Answer 1319

its only that the charm n craze of something new n unknown keeps it high in earlier stages. thereafter, the only factors working are pleasure, love n mating.

Answer 1320

My dh and I have an agreement that we will not discuss out bedroom life with others. Because if you love someone you do not discuss your private life with others. Because it is not discussed, it is assumed that it is not happening!

Answer 1321

I dont think its marriage I think it familiarity.....after it isn't new anymore you learn to get intimate without the motion of the ocean !

Answer 1322

I don't know. I always thought that marriage sex is better than any other type.

Answer 1323

People believe that once you are tied down to something you don't want it/ you can't get it as much as you did when it wasn't as available

Answer 1324

sex stops wether you are married or not,and it is because you are both use to doing things diffrent than before.

Answer 1325

Absolutely false. It slows down first. Then it stops.

Answer 1326

i dont believe sex stops when u get married i guess it depends on who u married

Answer 1327

I think it slows down when the kids start coming, at least thats my experience

Answer 1328

because we are like animals of the wild men or males of any sort like prowling,, female likes leaving the scents, and when you get married it's their always and we cant act out our animal behavior.

Answer 1329

by the time you get marry and you were not liviung together you to buniness try to get along in a new place.

Answer 1330

There is no hope. We only complain when we aren't getting any and are too busy blushing to say anything when we are.

Answer 1331

Cuz that's what happened to me, it took ten years but we only get bizy when she wants to, bout once a month.

Answer 1332

while it may not stop it certainly slows down becuase your are limited to the amount of time you get to go out without your spouse.

Answer 1333

uh, oh I hope not. Thats the only reason i want to get married

lol

Answer 1334

I cant imagine that being the consensus and its not .A society would wither and die . /Ken

Answer 1335

Probably because of to much before marriage.

Answer 1336

Who wants to be institutionalised? :) Marriage gave me this honorable title: W.I.F.E - Wash, Iron, F--k, Etc. It also gave me muliple personalities - caring wife, caring mother, caring housekeeper, nervous-wrecked purse keeper, mad driver, schizo counsellor, worn-out bed-warmer, . . .

Answer 1337

i have been married for thirty nine yrs and the sex hasn't stopped yet .its even better when my wife is present.

Answer 1338

because sex is great in the begginning and after marriage it's not that great you know kids work family church no time for it

Answer 1339

make it fun as it was then add spice to it keep him guessing what you will pull out of your sleeve next dress to open his eyes again dont let a good thing die

Answer 1340

act like your just dating again...make out and have sex like you used to! at the appropriate times and places of course:P

Answer 1341

looks like a lot of good answers to your question. i don't know what i could add. unless the relationship was based on sex in the first please. as for as the BBC studies, what do they know, that's the reason they have to do studies in the 1st, please. p.s. RJRMPK i tried the jar thing too. ether your wife is pulling your leg or mine is lying to me.

Answer 1342

nt sure. It never happen before. Probably its time to create a new ideals to re-built new feelings together.

Answer 1343

i think it is up to the couple as long as you keep it fun and make tome for each other why does it have to stop. i think it has gotten better the longer we are together.

Answer 1344

PEOPLE GET LAZY WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. THEY FIGURE OF, I'VE GOT HIM / HER, SO I DON'T NEED TO TRY SO HARD. WRONG!!! MARRIAGE HAS TO BE WORKED AT. THERE ARE SO MANY DIVORCES, CAUSE PEOPLE DON'T WORK AT IT. GOTTA KEEP IT FRESH AND INTERESTING!! WHO WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH A BORING PERSON WHO DOESN'T SPICE UP THEIR LIFE, OR SEX LIFE.

Answer 1345

U should try going 2 "Lovers Lain."It's where u can get all kind of hot stuff for ur husband(if u know what i mean)!

Answer 1346

married and haven't had sex in about a year

Answer 1347

Jackie,



Well, I thought my non sexual ten year relationship was the norm????

Answer 1348

after 29 years married I can tell you, sex doesn^t ever stop marrying her

Answer 1349

Just ask that twat Unicornfarie1! Her hiusband is Still trying to escape!

Answer 1350

Life is just a game!

Answer 1351

then you married the wrong one. my sex life improved after marriage. i guess it all depends on the situation.

Answer 1352

Because most of the time it does....The chase is over and everything gets routine and boring!

Answer 1353

It may be the concesus but it's not true as to changing peoples minds i dont know bout that

Answer 1354

sex stops when you get married cause it's not just sex anymore..........it's LOVE-MAKING...........sometime times that slow down due to career, long hours, family planning and most of all UNDERSTANDING......................

when going together it's hurry up and lets have sex.........

when married...... no need to hurry........when time is right its slow and compassionate. after all you have the whole week end....................

Answer 1355

Because no one sexes everyday unless they're a prostitute or a porn star. Sex doesn't stop, it slows.

Answer 1356

im not really all that sure seeing as im 20 years old still quite young to think about that

Answer 1357

I don't understand it myself. I guess the drive just seems to drop after a while. Keep him going with toys. ;^)

Answer 1358

i don't know but im not married and the sex has stopped. How do you explain that one :(((

Answer 1359

Probably the only way is to ban sex before marriage again.

Answer 1360

sex doesn't always stop entirely. it just takes the backseat to everything else sometimes.

Answer 1361

Never to me, i have 15 years with my marriage, but i and my wife still do it, i mean in practise or in our feel.

Answer 1362

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR GOING ON 7 YEARS AND MY SEX HASNT STOPPED, SO WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?



BOUNCIN OUT~*

Answer 1363

don't stop having sex with your husband. don't stop being playful and spontaneous. remember the thing that used to get you in the mood and DO THEM!!!!

Answer 1364

Get married, then you'll find out the truth!

Answer 1365

Tell me about it. Im going through the same thing now.

Answer 1366

Simple the magic wears off........too many other priorities .kids,school ,work......however to keep your sex life healthy try romance now and then.flowers go out dancing not doof doof stuff good night club music.....if that still does not work, go to your neighbour

Answer 1367

The sex doesn't stop, only with your partner.

Answer 1368

that all depends on the individuals you have to keep the fire burning,in a relationship.there are a lot of ways to keep those coals hot.

Answer 1369

I think it's backwards.

My girlfriend and I are planning on repopulating Europe.

Answer 1370

It doesn't stop when you get married, it stops when you have children becasue you're to flippin' tired to do anything!

Answer 1371

i think the pasion its not the same after the years pass by,because people get bored

Answer 1372

Because when your inlove before your married you can't keep your hands off each other, but when your married its just like uh. yeah. so...

Answer 1373

men are hunters and once they conquer the thrill goes.continous efforts to spice up life have to be done to avoid it

Answer 1374

Nothing sort of it happens. Belief is basic. therefore uprightness among spouse is must.

Answer 1375

no, not at all....i am more in love with the woman i fell in love with than i was at the time it happened...if anything i want to be near her more as i get to know and learn more about how her mind works....

Answer 1376

I think you just become board of the same partner and dream of some younger, fitter and more handsome.

Answer 1377

What????



Is sex supposed to stop?



I am about to have my 4 th baby.

Answer 1378

WHAT???????????? That is when it is supposed to START!!! If you are that tired of each other, and have no respect and love for each other, then do not get married at all.

Answer 1379

Because women are evil, they withhold sex to get what they want. And men are stubborn, they don't give women what they want so therefor no sex :)

Answer 1380

well its just that most people just don't do things to keep their relationship 'fresh' (like go out on a weekend somewhere remote) so they just do not find that as appealing (to do) as it was went they first started out

Answer 1381

People are going to think what they want to think regardless of what is said, printed, or otherwise. They will believe what they want as well.

Answer 1382

I don't come to that stage yet.... I think sex stops only when we're too old.

Answer 1383

هاااااااااااااااى ممكن نتعرف من انت

Answer 1384

i have been married 9 years and we still act like rabbits (luckily shes fixed)

Answer 1385

this can be changed if couples starts doing what they do when they first met each other and feeling how they use to feel.

Answer 1386

sex gets old, so keep up the romance and surprise each other with little getaways.

Answer 1387

I don't know...sex stopped for me and my bf when I got pregnant. Now he doesn't understand why I don't want to have more kids with him. harumph!

Answer 1388

It just does unfortunately! Marriage sucks!

Answer 1389

lots of men r on the down low

Answer 1390

Why is this question still up for answering? It's been a long long time.

Answer 1391

One way is to not have sex befroe your married. I know it is hard but it is possible.

Answer 1392

That is when sex should BEGIN and if it does begin then IT never stops !!!!!

only gets BETTER

Answer 1393

because usually it does. After a while it gets boring and so it's like why bother!

Answer 1394

wedding cake effects a woman memory, after eating it they forget how to five a bl*w job

Answer 1395

There is no consensus

Answer 1396

married people need to have more sex

Answer 1397

it usually does with the wife marriage is guaranteed to stop oral sex

Answer 1398

sex stop because the spouse look lauzy

Answer 1399

It did with my wife but not with my two rosey palms. Im glad they are there for me. =) =(



Have sex with your husbands friend thats Married

Have sex with yourself.

Answer 1400

I think it is becuse you know what to expect which makes you bored, which makes you not really care about those intamite moments anylonger?????

Answer 1401

I dont know anyone who actually believes that. It is just a TV joke.

Answer 1402

well i have been married for the last five months and the sex is grrreat

Answer 1403

it depends on how long you have been married,take a night out with your friends, and ask them. you might want to try new expediences. stay sexy

Answer 1404

it's just men (or women) making excuses not to get married and if they are married, excuses for having affairs.

Answer 1405

I suppose cause life gets more busy especially if you have kids.

Answer 1406

It hasn't stopped for me, although my husband has slowed down somewhat!

Answer 1407

Nothing will change it because people in our country don't want to change.

Answer 1408

If you can make it real good it will not stop after marriage. If it is boring it will stop.

Answer 1409

Stops !!!!!!!, the well has run dry after 13 years.

Answer 1410

Maybe that is among hollywood and rich and famous. I don't believe us common folk have that problem...

Answer 1411

Familarity breeds contempt..

Go for more bonding and social gatherings.

Have fun.





www.SkyQuestComMedia.com

Answer 1412

It shouldn't have to,Come up with better ideas between u and ur husband.

Answer 1413

That is not true. If it stops it is not because of Marriage.

Answer 1414

it gets boring, thats why men cheat, and the girl got what she wanted a man and now he cant leave

Answer 1415

keep up the romance!

remember what you did when you were dating.

and compliment their body. Dont feel like sex if u dont feel sexy

Answer 1416

It may not stop but it definitely slows down.

Answer 1417

I'm married and every year has only gotten better!

Answer 1418

i think sex becomes even better when you're married to the right person :-)

Answer 1419

Continue having sex.....

Answer 1420

It doesn't stop in a healthy and nurturing marriage.

Answer 1421

I thought only jarheads boots told that to each other.

Answer 1422

I do agree that sex can change once you are married. When your dating he strives to please you, taking longer and more often. Once he has you, the chase is over. he has you...

Answer 1423

Have more sex when your married?

Answer 1424

maybe that is a myth "players" came up with to remain single and "in the game".

Answer 1425

have often wonder that too. mine did and it hasn't picked up sents then (12yrs ) maybe it's old stuff and the fun is out of it.

Answer 1426

Because it is true. why is it indeed? Some say because of hormone levels, some say you take each other for granted...

Answer 1427

You can have sex when ever you want the ***** aint going nowhere.

Answer 1428

Nothing

Answer 1429

dear i give you answer your question i think this time not satisfiaed in your wife . i think this nuture of man avilable woman not touch any time and always



my engllish is not good



but i give you answer



sohailkhan

Answer 1430

weel, i stopped having it on a regular babis like i used to.

and i don't know why.i'm sorry about myself but that's how things are.

Answer 1431

i dont know about others, but since i married, my sex life has sky rocketed. my husband and i dont have a problem there.

Answer 1432

HELL NO. If the sex stops there is no more relationship.

Answer 1433

Simply have sex and they other around u will follow and so on...then poof its gone!

Answer 1434

don't believe everything u hear or read.... it slows down,, but doesn't stop unless the relationship goes bad.. after all as you get older everything slows down...

Answer 1435

Who cares?



What I do behind closed doors is nobody's business!



I could care less what anyone else thinks

Answer 1436

Easy -- you get too comfortable in each other and you stop honeymooning.

Answer 1437

Who ever said that is stupid. Me and my wife havent stopped since.

Answer 1438

OMG, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! My husband and I have the best sex ever now that we are married!! We are more relaxed and spontaneous then we were when we dated.

Answer 1439

sex is a devotional feelings. its not only the feelings we get frm our body,its the feelings frm deep mind.so we can't stop it

Answer 1440

Viagra for women!

Answer 1441

I know with mine it became more frequent for awhile then tappered off.

Answer 1442

men need to become better lovers......2 to 7 minutes really now.......if men were pleasing their women better instead of leaving them hanging....... they would be getting some........and the same goes for some of you women.......you have to keep the turn on..........turned on

Answer 1443

It doesnt if you keep a lover on the side

Answer 1444

because when people get hitched they get sick of each other i got that way with my ex-wife but thats a long story

Answer 1445

"Change the consensus"?????



Who cares about the "consensus"??!! What MATTERS is if its actually true in YOUR marriage or not.



Chris Rock said, "in this life you got two choices...."



"MARRIED AND BORED,

OR SINGLE AND LONELY".



I have a theory that I am certain MANY would disagree with. Although I admit I ALSO believe I am 100% right. Before your question can be answered, I need to elaborate and fully explain. Make yourself a cocktail, try this on and see if it fits . . . .



--->> I believe that women almost NEVER have sex PURELY for the sake of the physical pleasure and enjoyment of it. I believe women need ANOTHER reason to have sex ALL the time.



Right from the moment they start having sex, women everywhere usually need to justify having sex for some OTHER reason than just a screaming orgasm and a romping good time. And I can prove it.



• "I won't have sex with him UNTIL he tells me he loves me."

• "I won't have sex with him UNLESS I know he respects me first"

• "I will not sleep with him UNTIL AFTER the 3rd date"

• "I will not sleep with him UNLESS I see it going anywhere beyond that."

• "I will not sleep with him because I DONT WANT HIM to think I am just a booty call"

• "I will have sex with him UNLESS i know I can trust him."

(oh really?? trust takes a long time to EARN. How hard do you plan to make him work before the two of you just enjoy some sex)

• "I wont have sex with him because I dont want him to think I am easy"



and my personal favorite...



• I will not have sex with him UNTIL AFTER we get married."



. . . . and the list of reason NOT to have sex goes on and on. Women on a general level are CONSTANTLY in need of some OTHER reason to have sex. They are constantly seeking SOME form of CONDITION to be met - which has little or NOTHING TO DO with Sex!!!!.... in oder to HAVE sex. And none of the above conditions need to be met in order to have and enjoy sex.



Some interesting counterpoints to consider are:



• Noone needs to be "in love" to have sex or enjoy an orgasm.



• Respect is something that is earned. Not sleeping with him does not - and will not - earn your MORE respect. In fact, sleeping with him is the quickest way to earn MORE than you currently have. Withholding for a condition to be met fist is not.



• Not sleeping with him until at least the end of the third date is the dumbest rule anywhere. Noone can think of a better way to end a nice evening out. Even if the sex is not the best you ever had, it sure beats going home to watch a re-run of Roseanne or folding your laundry . . . . simply because of a dumb rule that proves NOTHING.



• Not having sex because you "THINK" it wont go anywhere is only something you told YOURSELF in your own head. Its the BEST way to really get to know someone on the most intimate level QUICKLY. You will know FASTER if it will go anywhere (or not) if you DO have sex than if withhold or don't at all.



• No man will think you are "EASY" or a "BOOTY CALL" if you sleep with him at any time. He will only think of you that way if your BEHAVE THAT WAY. And what would be so wrong if he DID think of you as "EASY"?????



"WOW!!! FINALLY!!! A WOMAN I DIDNT HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS FOR - OR LIE TO - JUST TO GET LAID!!!!" is what he WILL be thinking. That's something to be PROUD OF. Not "ashamed" of. In fact, men HATE that women constantly require rediculous conditions on sex and more often than not, for MANY of us, it's just not worth the time and trouble. Why do you think PORN and PROSTITUTION are so popular on a GLOBAL level???



But the most UNEBLIEVEBLE OF ALL, is women who withhold sex until the man she says she "loves" goes out and spends ONE YEARS SAVINGS (thats what 2 months salary actually is) on a diamond, and declares that he will sign half of his life, future and fortune over to her, and gets down on one knee symbolically offering to "PURCHASE" his legal right to make her his lover.



Wow!! I cant believe women still do that today and even worse, that men are OK with it.



Now, since we have established that its VERY unsual for a women just to have sex MERELY for the orgasm and the pleasure of it...



Then guess what??



If that's the way a woman chooses to "rationalize" having sex - always needing another reason - then sex in the marriage will be doomed. For once they are married, she has now run out of reasons to have sex. There was alwasy a SECONDARY motive for her to take her clothes off. She didn't have sex for the pleasure of it. She did it for the condition that had to be met. Now there aren't anymore.... except maybe to have a baby. And THERE you have yet another example. Even within the marriage, she is having sex for ANOTHER reason. Any woman who lived her life like that, will live her marriage like that. And the one who withheld sex until marriage will use sex as a bargaining tool INSIDE the marriage whever possible. "Welll I got himn to marry me before I agreed to have sex, so I can now tell him to fix the bathroom tiles or there will be no nookie tonight".



Please!



Fascinating when you think about it. But IS it really?? It seems plain as the nose on your face why marriages fall apart and are plagued by infidelity. And it would also explain why 70% of marriages are SEXLESS and 50% fall apart.



There ARE exceptions of course,... and THANK GOD FOR THAT! The few that STRONGLY disagree are enjoying a healthy sex life within their marriage but those are rare marraiges where the woman knows that sex is not to be confused with (or hinged upon) ANYTHING else and the man loves her for it.

Answer 1446

to many people r like robots and don't keep it interesting or experiment to spice things up

Answer 1447

try to bring some excitement to the bedroom

Answer 1448

Because boredom sets in.

Answer 1449

I actually waited till I was married to have sex, so after marriage it really started, not stopped. Until now!!

We have a little boy who will be 3 in July and we love for him to sleep in our bed. Lack of sex is not really a problem, yet!. If it ever became a problem, then, off to his own bed he goes....

No, seriously, life's busy and its really not that important. I know it should be. The intimacy of sex is vital, but not the act itself. That's my 2 bob worth anyway...............

Answer 1450

Not for us, and if you are smart it should only be better and more frequent! Don't ever say no unless you're sick or really extremely mad....you'll be glad you did. ;-)

Answer 1451

I agree with Junebug.

Answer 1452

Can you keep your interest with one man all of your life?

Answer 1453

just keep having it not just when you want kids but when ever you can lol and keep your marriage interesting like doing new things(not just in bed)

Answer 1454

You cannot. People are stupid. They would rather believe nonsense than the truth.

Answer 1455

roll play become the star of your own bedroom

Answer 1456

Hey J.C--- once I get a good answer from my wife, I will let you know.

Answer 1457

you must keep your sex in the marriage alive, make your man wants you, flirt with him and look sexy for him.

Answer 1458

comunication

talk often

talk about everything

know each other like the back of your hand.

Answer 1459

Nothing! Who cares!

Answer 1460

When you find out, let me know. I need to find a cure for my hubby!

Answer 1461

marriage shouldnt stop sex- ur activities may effect it. and ur schedules.u should enjoy sex in ur marriage.

Answer 1462

husbands need to stop being jerks...thinking sex twice a week isn't good enough....

Answer 1463

Most women lose interest

Answer 1464

I think it depends on the person

Answer 1465

you loose interest after some time, but you can make it interesting by new way to approaching your partner, new moves make it better.

Answer 1466

I don't know. But my husband would like to know how to make it not stop.

Answer 1467

FIRST YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN YOUR MIND,THAT THIS IS IT,FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.SO TO KEEP YOU SEX ALIVE,ALLWAYS DO SOMETHING DEFFRENT. WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE,IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Answer 1468

marriage is just like a diet, you get more out of it if you put more work into it!

Answer 1469

It does? Well why didn't anyone tell me. I'm always the last to know.

Answer 1470

are you kidding me? married for 15 years 3 kids still cant keep our hands off each other its called love i think!!!!

Answer 1471

Due to boredom

Answer 1472

completely not true.....iv e been married for almost 3 years now and we have sex at least twice a day and it gets better and better.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1473

cause its not fun any more to see your spouse as if its ure only option and cheating is prohibit

Answer 1474

free viagra for the masses

Answer 1475

Because of that piece of paper.

Answer 1476

you get tired of the same thing. so try different ways to keep it interesting.

Answer 1477

marry, and have lots of sex xp

Answer 1478

It is probably said by single people, who don't know what they are saying.

Answer 1479

Don't get married!

Answer 1480

mine hasn't stop...married 16yrs 3 kids

Answer 1481

Proclaim a 'Worldwide , if you are married, have sex day'. preferably with your S.O.

Answer 1482

because the female thinks 'mission accomplished ' now i dont have to try anymore

Answer 1483

Don't get married!

Answer 1484

if you like a special meal you can't eat it everyday

that's the fact and true

Answer 1485

I think it won't stop. Try to think of it in your own point of view.

Answer 1486

well may be wear spandex more and show off that hot body of yours email me [e-mail]

Answer 1487

It hasn't stopped but it has slowed

Answer 1488

I think sex doesn´t stop but you have more activities...

Answer 1489

well sex is better when u are married it gets better .

Answer 1490

sometimes the chase is better then the kill. that's what a wise man i once dated told me.

Answer 1491

Because we are simply animals with reason.

Answer 1492

yes, unfortunately.

Once I had the children everything turned into chores.

Answer 1493

Thats a boring question that i ever encountered...

Answer 1494

tell people about your sex life

Answer 1495

lets get together Jackie, and I will show you.

Answer 1496

All I can say is....Use toys also with alittle him action and a little of you action...Have him help you while you help yourself...and you can also help him while your helping yourself...Theres allot of ways to do it.....And HAVE FUN!!!!!

Answer 1497

I can prove them ALL wrong!!!!!!!!!! That is rediculous,,,who would say such a thing? I am ALWAYS ready, and i am 57!

Answer 1498

I THINK IT'S A COP-OUT FOR THOSE WHO ARE JUST TOO LAZY TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT TO MAKE THEIR MARRIAGES WORK!

Answer 1499

Ive always heard that and I find it strange.....it doesnt happen to me like that.

Answer 1500

Normally because it does. I guess we should practice on courting after the catch...

Answer 1501

If your sex life stops, find out why & if you can spice it up...go for it....

Answer 1502

one thing. it shouldnt. sex is a way god gave us to feel connected in most intimate way as one.

Answer 1503

IT'S UP TO THE WIFE AND THE REASON IS SPERM'S CHEAP, EGGS ARE EXPENSIVE, END OF STORY, MOREY.

Answer 1504

Because after a few years it is true !!!!

Answer 1505

sex doesnt stop lol!!! it gets better and hotter!! we 've been together 9 years and it's awesome still!!!

Answer 1506

The thrill is gone.

Answer 1507

I think you have to keep things spiced up to keep your sexual relationship strong.

Answer 1508

Thats a new one on me.

Where did you get that from?

Answer 1509

role play, try tantric sex, toys, other ppl, differt positions, etc

Answer 1510

wrong start wrong result : start sex only when you get married .

Answer 1511

sex should not stop that y you gey married

Answer 1512

have people that are married do a survey

Answer 1513

Gosh! I didn't know that.. Where did you hear that? Someone is really misinformed.

Answer 1514

Don't have sex until you get married...

Answer 1515

gew me you a sex photos

Answer 1516

routine and boredome is the enemy of any relationship..especially permanent one like marriage.

Answer 1517

being in love all time with your husband can't stop anything

Answer 1518

you have to be the one to change it not us by the info we give you

Answer 1519

stuff the consenus .lets have sex and prove it wrong

Answer 1520

Just spice it up and make it more interesting.

Answer 1521

i want to have a sex with you, r u ready

Answer 1522

Yes its true,



DON"T GET MARRIED !!! that'll change things

Answer 1523

no dear it mean have sex but dont show that u have sexual relation with more then one(wife)! contect me.

Answer 1524

Its Becouse of rutine .Be creative .It apears to Him And Her .

Answer 1525

in most cases maybe they dont appeal to each other anymore, it hasnt happened in my case so i dont talk from experience

Answer 1526

well it gets boring and you need new places to do it and more games to play so you or him won't get tired of each other...

Answer 1527

work could be affecting that

lack of communication

or...(and hope its not it) hes seeing someone else

Answer 1528

sex stops after marriage??!! someone better tell my husband lol no maybe not sex is great!!!!!!!

Answer 1529

It does not stop, it just slows down.

Answer 1530

Sex doesn't stop. Just oral sex. On him.

Answer 1531

no stope sex try againe

Answer 1532

I have no idea and I am married?

Answer 1533

Yes....it is true. Even in a homosexual relationship. Or is it just me?

Answer 1534

That's really ironic because, that's when God tells us that it should start.

Answer 1535

because you get bored of doing it all the time

Answer 1536

coz marrige is more responsibility than just dating.There are kids invoved.

Answer 1537

It doesn't happen if you mix it up. Gotta keep'em guessing.

Answer 1538

who says that....4 kids later and still going.

Answer 1539

I would think it'd increase not stop

Answer 1540

That's what they made Viagra for

Answer 1541

don't get married...it just ends with divorce papers

Answer 1542

I dont know, but my sex don't stop.

Answer 1543

You dont say--- best not get married then,lol.

Answer 1544

It doesn't stop is suppose to get better

Answer 1545

Its just mental

Answer 1546

i dont believe that ot be true, just when kids come along

Answer 1547

of course, no. the relashonship light a little.

Answer 1548

because now shes got you, she can give it to you when she want to because if you leave, she gets half!

Answer 1549

Wrong..... Its not the sex that stop, its U who stop doing it. Am I right.?????????

Answer 1550

because obviously y'all haven't been married to my husband!

Answer 1551

i dont know what can be done that is a good question

Answer 1552

News to me.......When am I to stop?

Yep---I well over 50

Answer 1553

nothing.sex doesn't stop when you get married.atleast not for me.It's the better every year

Answer 1554

They are dumb...It does stop if you don't work on maintaining passion!

Answer 1555

Because for some it really does. That's why.

Answer 1556

well jackie... i will be short and blunt...... it slows down(not always stops) because "a new broom sweeps clean".

Answer 1557

god i hope this is not true.... im hoping sex will finally start when i get married.

Answer 1558

it stops and starts up

Answer 1559

if married couples had a lot of public sex then the myth would have to disappear...................

Answer 1560

BECAUSE IT GETS BORING, AND AFTER 4 KIDS WE HAVE THERE IS NO TIME

Answer 1561

It's just a myth, SoOO i'm told:)

Answer 1562

no time to do it. there is nothing to change this that im aware of

Answer 1563

have all the sex and tell Everyone!

Answer 1564

because if u love you dont cheat, why did u maried, also how AIDS came over here

Answer 1565

For many, the infatuation with the other person fades very quickly as the higher pursuit of marriage responsibilities consumes a lot of the desire that brought the two together in the first place. I don't think anything can remove that pressure, but better preparation could help attitudes as marriage goes on.

Answer 1566

i think it depends on who's married to who.

Answer 1567

u have good weeks u have bad 1s

Answer 1568

It only stops if you let it.

Answer 1569

it sure better not or I'm NEVER getting married!

Answer 1570

not my opinion, we have our highs and lows. when it hits the lows we both spice it up

Answer 1571

cause you are use to that one person. you see them everyday. but it doesnt have to end completely.

Answer 1572

because it does.

As soon as she gets the kids she wants, you become sexually expendable

Answer 1573

in my experience, it doesn't ,practice is perfection, especially after a hysterectomy!

Answer 1574

keep on loving one another

Answer 1575

who knows, with a question like this.

Answer 1576

yes it stops and if possible it goes backwards.

Answer 1577

in northern india if you have three husbands, the action never stops.

Answer 1578

NOT TRUE!!!!women get lazy after they feel secure...WE SHOULD NEVER STOP SEDUCING OUR MAN!!!

Answer 1579

because marrige overpowers sexdrive

Answer 1580

Because often it does.

Answer 1581

stay in shape and find out your mans kinks... lol we all have em

Answer 1582

because then you have a life partner.you have to live together.

Answer 1583

I don't know but I hope it doesn't happen to me, i think its just taboo

Answer 1584

yes i think it does. the forbidden fruit is always more appealing.

Answer 1585

BECAUSE PEOPLE STOP FANNING THE FLAME, AND JUST GO GET SOMEONE ELES FLAME!!!

Answer 1586

If it does, it is the fault of both parties. It doesn't have to.

Answer 1587

Unless your a military pilot you may not understand the meaning of "EJECT,EJECT,EJECT".LOL!

Answer 1588

sex doesn't stop; hopefully it becomes more frequent

Answer 1589

Because in my case, it's true.

Answer 1590

you my have find a girl friend and see what happen

Answer 1591

well nothing really cause obviously they get bored it is your gob to keep them intrested

Answer 1592

sex wont stop if you keep it interesting.

Answer 1593

sex is erelevent.should be better.im sex crazy,ha.

Answer 1594

we just get comfortable with each other and dont think about it.

Answer 1595

i dont think that it stops i think that it might slow down

Answer 1596

never take your love for granted.

Answer 1597

You mean we were supposed to keep doing it???

Answer 1598

sex is great no one should refuse

Answer 1599

hi

[e-mail]

Answer 1600

because you would be old and he must find a new

Answer 1601

hmm answer the question with an action; can u guess what it is????

Answer 1602

because theres a certain time when you dont

Answer 1603

it stops says who?

Answer 1604

Mostly it's true

Answer 1605

Says who???

Answer 1606

what the???

sex stops...damm it better not i just got married..lol

Answer 1607

Don't know JC...mine hasn't

Answer 1608

have sex as often as you like :)

Answer 1609

I didn't know it was an opinion?

Answer 1610

lol, cause most of the time it does

Answer 1611

if anything it sould increase,get more intimate and fulfulling

Answer 1612

I have know idea..but i am sure that i won't let that happen :)

Answer 1613

SEX? What's that?

Answer 1614

alot just look behound what you ready know.

Answer 1615

Mrs.Collins! because you're too hot and sexy to wreck!

Answer 1616

it does not stop, but people stop lying and bragging about it.

Answer 1617

Cause you stay mad at each other a lot.

Answer 1618

not if I've got a vote on it

Answer 1619

sorry I am just too young for this

Answer 1620

even i wonder the same honey

Answer 1621

I feel your pain

Answer 1622

yup

Answer 1623

sorry i cant answer this question. this colum is only for teens

Answer 1624

don't get married

Answer 1625

Where did this information come from??

After all these years, my sexual life is

busier than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1626

because you are not alone .and you change from i to we.and it diffrent.

Answer 1627

dont go married and sex will be with you forever:-)))))

Answer 1628

sex doesn't stop - foreplay does

Answer 1629

To Esfoma - you're an idiot.

Answer 1630

by the time you get to bed, you're knackered!!

Answer 1631

i know some one that can answer you that question his name is "TOM LEYKIS" YOU COULD LOOK HIM UP ON THE WEB!!!!! OR AT BLOWMEUPTOM.COM

Answer 1632

It doesn't have to stop. prove it wrong

Answer 1633

not for me just not as much when you have kids

Answer 1634

routine is a problem.... to be creative and everything will change..

Answer 1635

good for a few years, then menopause,,

Answer 1636

CAUSE WOMEN DON'T HAVE TO PUT OUT ANYMORE THEY HAVE THEIR CLAWS IN YOU NOW

Answer 1637

because it is there when you want it, you do not have to work for it.

Answer 1638

are you looking for ideas for your new book?

Answer 1639

MAY BE FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT AND THE EXCITEMENT DISAPPERS

Answer 1640

ur opinion is absolutely wrong after marriage i ****** 200 call girls like u...***** **** ur ass hole..

Answer 1641

swingers dont have this problem! maybe they are on to something.

Answer 1642

i dont knot i wish i did know to.

Answer 1643

I HAVE NO IDEA BEEN AT IT FOR YEARS AND WE KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING! JUST GOTTA KEEP IT EXCITING!

Answer 1644

Well....opinions are like butt holes - EVERYBODY HAS ONE!

Answer 1645

BECAUSE WHEN YOUR MARRIED ITS ALWAYS THER STARRING YOUIN THE FACE

Answer 1646

cuz you can do it and no1 will care, cuz ur married!

Answer 1647

It shouldn't stop.

Answer 1648

its not that much fun anymore....you've already shagged each other rotten...what else is there...

Answer 1649

because it does just ask my wife!

Answer 1650

because its happened to me

Answer 1651

because usually then kids follow and once that happens the only thing you feel like doing in bed is sleeping!

Answer 1652

not in my house...........i think the wife should never just give up

Answer 1653

quite right

Answer 1654

it to hard to understand

Answer 1655

Now that's a surprise. : }

Answer 1656

i dunno, i always thought that was part of what kept a marriage going, but then again i'm not married and haven't been so what do i know......

Answer 1657

twenty years married and the sex is .......hang on back in a momment.................

Answer 1658

yeah whatever

Answer 1659

woman, you disgust me... WHO FREAKING CARES ABOUT IT IF YOU GET A HOT HUSBAND!

Answer 1660

because no more emotion is left

Answer 1661

why should it stop. it can continue upto your life.

Answer 1662

Because it does.

Answer 1663

it may just be that when commitment comes ...... things burn down

Answer 1664

NO this is wrong thoughts.

Answer 1665

its the truth

Answer 1666

HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE

Answer 1667

communicate and try harder to be there for each other.

Answer 1668

I would love to know why as well....

Answer 1669

that is fiction not fact

Answer 1670

redo

Answer 1671

have more sex

Answer 1672

I DON'T THINK IT STOPS IT GETS BETTER!

Answer 1673

that s why i m not married yet ...

Answer 1674

how do you change a myth?

Answer 1675

would you please go away and quit trying to act like you're some sex goddess?

Answer 1676

ytrjsyh6rs6u

Answer 1677

for satishfaction

Answer 1678

ugh, another question about this... so boooooooorrriiinnnnng.

Answer 1679

it doesnt stop, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Answer 1680

dont marry

Answer 1681

who knows.... i dont follow what everyone else says

Answer 1682

this is a myth

Answer 1683

Don't buy the cow!!!

Answer 1684

I thought it got better. Just one person to please instead of many.

Answer 1685

really is fact

Answer 1686

well what poppy ****. what are they or whom ever thinking.

Answer 1687

Start screw... our husbands more often!

Answer 1688

I didn't know it did

Answer 1689

i dont know

Answer 1690

HAVE SEX

Answer 1691

women think they already have us

Answer 1692

why so??...perhaps no more intriguing parts

Answer 1693

Says who?????

Answer 1694

today is a perfect day to listen to your sweetie problems they are more immediate you will score brownie points without having to do a thing

Answer 1695

not at all

Answer 1696

it does

Answer 1697

It doesn't stop unless they want it to stop. Usually it just get better.................................

Answer 1698

um, have sex?

Answer 1699

cause it's true

Answer 1700

HAVE MORE SEX AND MARRIAGE IS EXCITING AND SEXY!!!!

Answer 1701

how old is that photo?

Answer 1702

Why?

Answer 1703

because its true

Answer 1704

What are you talking about..?

That happens WHERE..?

Answer 1705

Why should it matter?

Answer 1706

men are biologically programed to like novelty and visual stimuli and to leave as soon as possible. Females to have constancy and emotional closeness. Diametric opposites! females dont like pandering to mens wants cause they feel slutty doing so, but they should realise that a strong sex attraction also contributes to strong relationship; otherwise men get frustrated and turned off - its such a battle that fantasy, porn, affairs start to be more attractive. So, to quote Big Mama: put it out there girls, and twice on Sundays.

Answer 1707

I don't know.

Answer 1708

In my opinion, after you marry someone, the taint of "taboo" of sex is gone...it's perfectly ok, if not EXPECTED, to have sex with the one you married. Bummer...there went the enticement, the LURE, of forbidden sex.



And...marriage is (well, was...) considered a life-long responsibility, which implies that it becomes something to work at and endure, rather than enjoy. Who wants to have sex with the guy who leaves the dirty underwear on the floor, the socks beside the bed, and the muddy shoe-tracks everywhere? Mr. Gallant has mutated into Mr. Dam-I-have-to-clean-up-after-him-AGAIN!!! (Flipside: He's not going to want to have sex with the woman who now nags at him about the above...)



Besides...after about 6 months-2 years, there's nothing left to discover, sexually, about the person you have to sleep next to every night.

Answer 1709

then its no more "forbidden fruit " ?

Answer 1710

ley me do you.

Answer 1711

BOREDOM

Answer 1712

I don't get it?! =)

Answer 1713

TRY SOMETHING DIFFRENT

Answer 1714

Say this isn't so???

Answer 1715

I hope not!!

Answer 1716

well it up to you and your parter.

Answer 1717

no

Answer 1718

nothing

Answer 1719

lol

Answer 1720

um.........because its usually true?

Answer 1721

i don't no

Answer 1722

ATTITUDE

Answer 1723

The answer is******TOYS*****

Answer 1724

he's cheating.

Answer 1725

"Because it did" :)

Answer 1726

that is just stupid!

Answer 1727

I think when we get married, we get lazy. We realize we caught our lover and we don't have to try too hard anymore. Its also the same with that partner, so we again, stop trying to find new exciting ways to have fun with them.

Answer 1728

I dunno im in the situation. I guess we dont find each other attractive anymore i dunno blah it sucks

Answer 1729

idk but if u figure it out plz let me know lol

Answer 1730

I

Answer 1731

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1732

Married life is more apt to be considered exciting by people of high character and high intlligence, and big hearted generosity, more spiritual people, people with more education, people with a higher grade of decency. Am I suggestion that marriage is apt to be considered less exciting by less educated people, people will less imagination, less spiritual people, people whose level of spirituality is about on an animal level? Yes! For marriage to seem and be exciting both parties have to be growing and unselfishly helping each other. People who live for self only are boring.

Answer 1733

well lets just say do wat makes you happy

Answer 1734

you mean it doesn't ???????????

Answer 1735

I've been married for 2 years and we have sex almost everyday. Even if libido is low, you have to be willing to give when you are not feeling like it. Make the choice and the feelings will follow. That is how we do it, and trust me, it is always worth the choice! :-)

Answer 1736

WTF? Ewww

Answer 1737

?

Answer 1738

i dunno

Answer 1739

.

Answer 1740

i dunno

Answer 1741

Well if you really want an answer I suggest polygamy (if all else fails).

Answer 1742

Women know they have men trapped by then. They have given out all they need to give to lay the trap. When the man is caught they have him and his wallet so no need to be so much in a hurry to have sex. They tell me that going to the prostitutes is expensive. Not as expensive as marriage is I feel.

Answer 1743

It's a consensus because of its statistical de facto occurence in the lives of huge numbers of married couples.



Feel welcome to search peer-reviewed social psychology journals for data to move it in your mind from a myth to a fact.



Here's some beginning reading, as a matter of fact:



Study of "Sex-Less" (Sex-Avoidant) Young Couples

Charny, Israel W1; Asineli-Tal, Shlomit2

Journal of Family Psychotherapy. Special Issue: Family Therapy Around the World: A Festschrift for Florence W. Kaslow. Vol 15(1-2), 2004, pp. 197-217





A theory of marital sexual life

Liu, Chien1

Journal of Marriage & the Family. Vol 62(2), May 2000, pp. 363-374

Why does the frequency of marital sex decrease with marital duration? Does the probability of involvement in extramarital sex increase or decrease with marital duration, and why?



The incidence and frequency of marital sex in a national sample

Call, Vaughn1; Sprecher, Susan; Schwartz, Pepper

Journal of Marriage & the Family. Vol 57(3), Aug 1995, pp. 639-652

... US adults, this study shows how the incidence and frequency of marital sex change over the life course. Consistent with previous research, this study shows a decline in marital sexual incidence and frequency.



Sexual relations in later life: A national study of married persons

Marsiglio, William1; Donnelly, Denise

Journals of Gerontology. Vol 46(6), Nov 1991, pp. S338-S344



Predicting initiations and refusals of sexual activities in married and cohabiting heterosexual couples

Byers, E Sandra1; Heinlein, Larry

Journal of Sex Research. Vol 26(2), May 1989, pp. 210-231



Midlife women's attributions for their sexual response changes

Mansfield, Phyllis Kernoff1; Koch, Patricia Barthalow; Voda, Ann M

Health Care for Women International. Vol 21(6), Sep 2000, pp. 543-559



Variables of subjective sexual desire and satisfaction in a large sample of married couples from North American evangelical Christian congregations

Lee, Hock-Seng Thomas1

Dissertation Abstracts International: Section B: The Sciences and Engineering. Vol 56(5-B), Nov 1995, pp. 2943

Answer 1744

It's the mere thought of seeing the same person day in and day out that takes the "sexy" out of marriage. I didn't want to get married for that very reason. I was fine just dating him for the 8 years we dated, then all of a sudden, there was a ring in my face that I didn't want. I felt like it was a leash. Marriage is too serious, once you have your first fight over money, it's all over...you see a side of him that you hadn't seen prior to marriage and it's just the beginning of all of the unattractive sides that show themselves during the course of the marriage. Sex just doesn't seem quite as appealing as it did B.M. Now I have to have a few glasses of wine to get in the mood and fantasize about someone else to get through a session. It's sad, I know, but I don't believe in divorce. I don't really know what can be done about the consensus...I'd love to find out though. I love your books by the way, sometimes they help me with my fantasies! Thanks!

Answer 1745

I believe this is the male excuse, used for not getting married!!!! If you are both normal healthy adults it should not cease! In fact as you get older together & have children etc you adapt to your situation, thus becoming more inventive. If anything men lose their sex drive as they have already peaked (in their teens), whereas a females sex drive peaks in her 30's. Men being the macho beasts, cannot take responsibility for their decreasing sex drive & put the blame on woman!!!

Answer 1746

Too many men I know experienced it.



The BBC recently reported a study that backs this up, where women start losing interest in sex as soon as they're in a commited relationship.



The only thing that can change this consensus is for the reality to change.

Answer 1747

I think that whhat people actually mean is that the sex stops being exciting, fun etc. People stop doing the kind of things they use to do to get ready for a night of sex when they were single. Plus sex is always there so it slows down and loses ut`s appeal if neither of the partners are doing anything to keep it exciting. Therefore it seems as sex stops when you get married.