Is there anything wrong with asking my wife if she needs help cooking?

Question

I asked my wife if she needed help cause I truly wanted to assist her in cooking dinner. She said she didn't need me for anything at the moment. I told her to be sure to let me know what she needed me to help her with cause I wouldn't know what to help her with. I then went to the living room and fell asleep.
When I got up after 30 minutes or so she got upset that I didn't help her. What is wrong with this? She thinks I should have stayed in the kitchen if I really wanted to help her. But I really did. I only went to the living room cause she said she didn't need help. She believes if I really wanted to help I would have stayed in the kitchen and asked several more times periodically. What? Please tell me I am not wrong if I am please explain. Thank you.

Answer 1

Ha Ha Ha. Sounds like you and I are married to the same woman. I have been there and done that bro. You did absolutely nothing wrong. In instances such as these I tell my wife "Say what you mean and mean what you say. I am not up for playing games." Then my follow up question is "What is the real issue here, because this ain't making no sense?" Then I bang her over head with my club. (Just joking about the club part.) Dude! Women are just crazy. Peace and God bless.

Answer 2

No you are okay. If she wanted help she should have told you what she wanted. If she asked repeatedly for something, you would call it nagging, so it works the same for you, she should have said from the start what she wanted done. I don't care if it is only stirring the water, or setting the table, or really cooking. To stop this from happening again, when it is time to start dinner, come right out and tell her that you want to help and to tell you what she is making so you have some idea of what should be done. If nothing else sit there and watch her so you know the next time what to do. No body is a mind reader, so don't expect someone to know what you want or when you want it, this goes both ways. Surprise her and get out a cookbook and make dinner all by yourself some night. My husband did this, and we all called it surprise night, because when you opened the pot it was always a surprise, tasted good, but sometimes didn't look all that great.

Answer 3

I think what you did was quite admirable. Most men could care less about helping in the kitchen. While I do not believe what you did was wrong, I am trying to understand why your wife got so upset when you left. I would recommend that you discuss the situation again when she is NOT fixing dinner. Explain again that you really did want to help and when she said she didn't need your assistance you figured that she would ask when she did. While you aren't wrong ask her if she would like an apology for an innocent mistake. Then ask her how you can better help her in the kitchen next time and if there is a way you can avoid upsetting her when you genuinely wanted to help.

Answer 4

We have found out through trial and error that the kitchen isn't really big enough for two people. My wife didn't know how to cook and I helped until she got the hang of it. Then when I took over the house duties ten years ago when I retired I took over all cooking. I don't want her help. To me she is meddleing. If I am going to cook I have my own ideas and when I need help, I ask. (not often)



Sounds like you need to explain to her that the games ended when you got married. If she wants your help you shouldn't have to sit there and wag your tail like a dog. Either she does or she doesn't? Tell her you don't care what the rules are just as long as you know what they are.

Answer 5

I'm the cook in the house, and I have had that happen too, except I was the one getting ticked. That's when I asked for her help to watch something I was cooking to come back and finding it burnt while she is on Facebook.



In my case, I wouldn't ask repeatedly. I would say, "no I don't need your help right now, but if you hang out for a bit, I'll have something for you to help me with later."



I think you wife is in the wrong. She said she didn't need you help.



Only thing I can say is next time, just ask if she will need help later, but that's the most you can do.



I can say that it is nice sometimes to have someone to hangout with while I cook...but that's the best insight I can give you.



Bottom line: Your wife is nuts. If she keeps acting like this...DON'T VOLUNTEER TO HELP.

Answer 6

Why was your wife cooking dinner in the first place? Men are better cooks than us so you guys should be cooking and us asking if you need help.



You lazy so and so. You even fell asleep like a lazy dog waiting for a feed of dog food from a supermarket when the dog has done nothing for the food. I wold not stand for that if my husband was that lazy he would have to go to the shop on foot every few minyes.



You are full of self justification as well. You do not deserve your wife at all. You should be married to a door mat or a broom.

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong with you. I can't stand for my husband to "help". He's right up on me, breathing down my neck. She should feel happy that you were out of her hair. Tell her next time you'll stay around and ask and then tell her you're sorry. Do you mean it? No. Will it keep the peace? Yes. >>>

Answer 8

You did nothing wrong. Your wife is one of those types of women who say "no" when they mean "yes". And they think that you are supposed to read their mind. She probably also says "I am fine" when she is not fine. Next time, tell her that you cannot read her mind. She needs to ask your for help, if she needs help. She needs to stop playing mind games.

Answer 9

Well you wasn't exactly wrong when you left, but next time you'll know to have a seat in the kitchen and just talk while you wait to see if she needs help later. Be happy, you just got a free lesson in wives' normal behavior.

Answer 10

Sounds like your wife is not happy with life in general, you did nothing wrong really. Try and take her out for dinner, do something nice for her, make her feel special and you may get a better response all over.

Answer 11

lol... maybe thats something she would have done, and so expected the same of u. or perhaps she expected u would want to keep her company in the kitchen.

i guess u both need to learn to read eachothers minds properly. lol

Answer 12

.You're fine. You did nothing wrong. If she wanted help, she should've asked. She's got no right to be upset with you and you should make that clear, then move on and leave the issue behind. She'll learn if she wants your help to accept it when you offer, or to ask if she needs it, and not to play stupid games or expect you to hover over her waiting to be needed. *rolls eyes* Chicks like that give 'women' a bad name.

Answer 13

were you taking the piss out of her when you offered to help. be honest with yourself if not nobody else. youd be surprised how many men think they can play these games and then winge the misses is a miserable *****. basically, either your a player or shes a miserable *****. either buck up your ideas or ditch the *****

Answer 14

Tell her that you can't speak woman and she needs to say what she means or she'll only get back what you tell her. No your not wrong, men can't read between the lines....

Answer 15

your wife is an immature irrational illogical person. treat her as such. you must never argue with such a person simply remind her that she is a grown woman and should be at the age that she means what she says. women like her make feminists like me want to puke and never stop. good luck with your choice of wife.

Answer 16

she's playing mind games with you. Alot of women do this BS, they expect men to read their minds. You asked, she refused. you need to tell her you love her, but you are not a mind reader, and she should SAY WHAT SHE MEANS!!!!! This marriage is headed for disaster if you two dont work out your communication issues.

Answer 17

There's nothing wrong with that I think it's sweet.

Answer 18

no you are not wrong. are you sure that your wife is not pregnant?Its seem that she going threw allots of moved swing.

Answer 19

i hope you're about 82 cuz you sound like an old retired man standing in the way and always repeating himself.

Answer 20

ask here

Answer 21

no, u are not wrong she just wanted u to kiss her @ss...