both of us married and seeing eachother?

Question

I am married for 13 yrs and my friend has been married for the same. We both have children and we say "we love our spouses" but, we spend every moment with each Other that we can possibly try to do. The both of us have told each other that neither will leave their spouse. It's almost uncontrollable when we are together. There is a passion there that has been lost for a long time. We both understand the ramifications of us being together. The loneliness can be overwhelming and we provide comfort with each other? What should i do?

Answer 1

For the sake of your family,end the relationship. If it's discovered,most

likely you will be kicked to the curb and regret it the rest of your life.

Neither you or the other one are truly committed to each other and it's not worth the risk.



You need to get your marriage on track. Consider marriage counseling,

if your spouse is agreeable.

Answer 2

Marriage can be difficult times. My wife has once been with someone else while she was pregnant with my son. Their relationship lasted for the pregnancy and not sure how much before. I was hurt in the beginning but after seeking some help from a counselor we got on the right path. I already had a 3 yr old and it was confusing to her let alone me. I understand what you may be going through on the disappointment range but nothing can be more satisfying than being with the one that you love. You got married for a reason 13 yrs ago. Maybe you should be asking yourself a couple questions: why am i doing this? What am i going to do if i continue with the path? What am i going to do with my children? Where am I going to live? What does this bring me in the future?



Make sure you have a clear head when trying to answering these questions. I would suggest trying some individual counseling?



Good Luck, try to make the best decision for you!

Answer 3

You already know what you are doing is wrong...and it is going to cause great pain for your husband when he finds out, believe me he will find out sooner or later. This relationship is all about passion and it wont last..even if you were to get together with this man, the passion will leave you both at some time...that sort of passion is not what keeps a marriage together. You need to put all that energy into your relationship with your husband...if he is a good man and is a good father ,then don't mess things up just for sexual passion. There is so much more to a relationship...also it's very unfair to your husband, think how you would feel if he were doing the same thing. Concentrate on your 13yr marriage...look at what you and your husband have invested into this marriage. Do the right thing and feel better about yourself.

Answer 4

What your doing is wrong.... you are partly responsible for the problems you are having in your marriage so why don't you try putting in some effort to hold your marriage together...oh yes I forgot, that's too much like work, right? always easier to run into the arms of someone else as to avoid doing anything that might save your relationship...



The energy you used coming on here could of been used to work on your own problems... You say you love your spouse,. no you don't because if you dis you wouldn't be looking to another man for comfort.... it's obvious your vows meant nothing to you or you would not be doing what your doing.



Try communicating how you feel to your husband instead of complaining to this other guy about your husband which of course your doing



Put some real effort into saving your marriage... takes two too make it and two too break it but if you find you just can't bear to do this then do the right things and leave your husband so that he can get on with his life and find someone who loves him and is faithful...How unfair of you to look for attention from another man when you have one at home who you made a commitment too..shame on you



By the way, your selfish and self centered and have no regards for your husbands feeling what-so-ever so go ahead and continue what your doing but be prepared for it too come back to you because what you put out comes back three-fold.. don't believe it wait and see... don't believe in karma.? you should

Answer 5

Sounds like you are confused but you have kids and a husband are you thinking of them and there feelings if this was about him with another woman you would be devastated right that's how hes gonna feel not to mention his wife do all of you a favor and just leave them all and move on don't hurt anyone else

Answer 6

i suggest u try and rekindle this passion with your husband the one you vowed under god to be faithful to , to love no matter what, the one you have kids with, the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with.

marriage isnt a joke, and if you think it is then shame on u and the other person doin that bc how would U like it if ur husband was doin this to you?? thats unfair to him and your kids. if u need love and passion talk to your man and bring it back bc once someone finds out that's 2 families that are gonna get torn apart, and kids that are going to suffer, and well do u really want that? is it really worth it?

Answer 7

Cut all ties with them. Family comes first so get out of this damaging relationship until you can be just friends is top priority.



Next step is getting the spark back with your spouse.

Answer 8

I understand exactly what you mean. Sometimes there is a connection you didn't expect and couldn't anticipate, which is definitely confusing.



It sounds like you are asking yourself what to do about that. Sorry, I probably shouldn't even have 'answered,' because I really don't have any answers.



Good Luck to you.

Answer 9

That's the path to disaster. you are a married person and spending every moment with each other is already cheating! do you love and respect your spouse? if you do, stop seeing your friend abd spend every moment with your spouse----the place were you need to be!

Answer 10

are you both women?

if so iam sure you talk about kids and cook'n all day. but really you two need to grow up and see each other like maybe one time a year. on vacation time.

now if your a woman and he your friend is a man. its not a good deal. your both married to cheaters. because they dont care what you do.

Answer 11

I think you know the answer. You have to choose. But if you leave your current partners I would wait til your children are 18, they might understand a bit more then. If you choose to stay with your current partners you must cut all contact with the one.



Is there anything wrong with your current partner? If not I say stick with them and get the other one out of your life.

Answer 12

you're playing wit the fire



work on ur marriage instead of looking for replacement of what has lost in ur marriage. see marriage adviser if its needed.



u cant just throw away 13 years of marriage to garbage can, can u?



think about it million times b4 u do something that u'll regret later

Answer 13

Divorce your spouse, you can't be faithful and your family doesn't deserve it. Nor do you deserve them, they are way to good for you. Wish I knew your spouse, I would happily share the news for you since you seem to be to selfish to tell.

Answer 14

Sometimes our feelings can cheat, because it overwhelms when it heard too comforting words...It's better to hear words that hurts than to hear comforting words that are full of lies! You are not a teenager anymore, right....? As well as i am....lol...

Answer 15

You need a proper guidance.do not consult anyone on net as they have no idea of your actual feelings and relations.you may have a visit to counselor.

Answer 16

Stay away from each other and get help with your marriage before it is to late.

Answer 17

Tell your husband. if you are lonely and something is missing you should talk to your husband about it and do not cheat. he will find out do not think he don;t suspect something ..

Answer 18

both of you needs . so go ahead. have your passion succeed. enjoy. but keep in limit.

Answer 19

get the passion where you can... but also look at your main relationship and see where things are falling apart...

Answer 20

Stop committing adultery is what you should do. You are both breaking VOWS that you made to your spouses, as well as, Oh I dunno, GOD!!!!

Answer 21

You are indeed "confused" !

Answer 22

mm i donnno ...mm..don't listen to others people.