Women: do you use hints or subtlety when speaking with other women? Do you expect other women to pick up on it?

Question

I'm sure you've heard (hell, maybe you've even laughed/cried) about stereotypical differences in the way that men and women seem to communicate with each other. Mostly, it's that women use hints and subtlety with their men because they don't want to be aggressive or confrontational, but then get upset when their words are misinterpreted by said men who do not understand hints and subtlety.

For example, if you say to a female friend "I'm thirsty", do you expect her to understand that you would like her to bring you a bottle of juice from the fridge?

If you say to a female friend "why don't you wear those other shoes instead?", do you expect her to understand that she should never again dress herself without your assistance?

Answer 1

yes i do. For example if a friend i were driving down the road and i said i was thirsty she would ask if i wanted her to stop at the next store. my husband on the other hand wouldn't have even heard me. Also if i told my friend " why don't you wear those other shoes instead" she would get the hint that those shoes are ugly and she shouldn't be wearing them. Again my husband wouldnt' have heard a word i said and wore the shoes.

Answer 2

you already know your directly to some thing... somebody informed me over the weekend that maximum women human beings do no longer understand a thank you to ask for help they particularly have help offereed to them. if a chum woman or male suggested i'm thirsty my respond could be nicely quench your thirst then. yet what they want is for somebody to get it for them in case you want somehign only ask. Yo i'm thirsty gets me a drink? for some reason this is extra durable for many women human beings to assert that. Now to get my guy to get on board with that. lol he continually says i'm hungry... all he has to do is say will you're making dinner now i'm hungry. yet he forget approximately's to ask. so it does artwork the two strategies. and extra and extra persons are doing this hintting bs. i exploit to yet my guy asked me to no longer then he does it . lol a minimum of this is laughable and not something to get disillusioned or under pressure or perhaps combat approximately.

Answer 3

I have been lecturing my 11 year old daughter on this subject so that she understands at an early age.



She'll say to me "this is broken" (holds up toy).

I'll say "oh, i see"

She'll say "WELL, FIX IT"

I'll say "first of all, I wasn't sure if you wanted sympathy or if you wanted it fixed. secondly, if you do want it fixed, please ask me without shouting or assuming that i am your personal slave"



Scenario 2:

She'll say "i'm cold"

I'll say "what do you want me to do"?

She'll say "turn up the heeeeeet.... daaaaaddddy, why are uuuuuuuuuu making fun of meeeeeee"

I'll say, I wasn't sure if you wanted sympathy or you wanted me to solve the problem. And if you did want me to solve the problem, I wasn't sure if you had a specific solution in mind or you were open to options, such as a sweater.



At that point she will run into the other room and say to my wife that I'm not being helpful.



Let me add one other thing, for the ladies' benefit; one reason men don't like "hints" is because you FORCE us to ask for clarification... in other words, you are taking control of the situation and forcing us to put forth additional effort. If you already know you want us to get you a drink, don't say "i'm thirsty" just say "honey, can you get me a drink". that way we don't have to open our mouths and use up valuable hot air.

Answer 4

I like the drink example...I guess I never really noticed.



Although I do try to be clear and direct. If he's in the kitchen, I'll ask him to grab me something...

Answer 5

Subliminal messages



ahhhhh

Answer 6

I'm pretty blunt when it comes to saying what I want or need. (And if I'm thirsty I get my own damn water.)

Answer 7

why beat around the bush? say what you mean and mean what you say

Answer 8

No no