In love / Platonic love for someone rather than my partner?

Question

Ok. I am having a crush on someone for about 4 years now.
It was a small crush which is growing into a big crush. When I spent more time with him the crush was not so big, but now that I rarely see him, I feel over the moon whenever I think about him, which is very, very often. I don’t want to ruin my life and my family (I have a small daughter and a partner for the last 15 years ), but this is becoming overwhelming. I feel the need to let it go and to talk about it. So far I have only talked about this crush recently with a very close and not judgmental friend. She told me that if this is becoming unbearable I could eventually let this person know my feelings, always having in mind that IF there was some other time, place, universe; we might have something, but not now, nor in the future.

I feel like if I just let the guy now that I feel this way over him, things would just fade. I don’t have any reason to believe he feels anything towards me as he is a younger guy, he has always complimented me and he knows my partner very well – we are all friends.

He is a respectful person so I don’t think he would ever do anything. I work at home, my husband is a very busy guy, he is very sweet, adorable, caring, etc.,), so my life could be a bit unexciting at this point (I’m not sure if this is the issue). I have this crush even when I was extremely busy a few years ago. I am also busy now, but with mummy/work/home affairs.

I would really like if this particular person would admire me and if we both continue with our lives…. This platonic love is also making me write the most wonderful poems.

I thought about talking to my partner about this, but he would never understand…. I think he would just leave me or be very insecure.. I really don’t want that.

I thought I could send the guy an anonymous email, so that I could have some kind of closure, some kind of catharsis. I would say on the email that although I love my partner, I have some kind of platonic feelings for him, yet I am not available. And wish him to be happy. He is single now and when he had a girlfriend, although I was thinking about him, I would never, never would think about sending him such an email… but now, I have been thinking about this for so longgg (more than 4 years and not doing nothing has not made my life easier). My friend suggested me to just talk to him face to face and let him know that although I love my partner, I have some feelings for him and that I really needed to let them go. She advised that it would be a good closure.
I need advises…. I am thinking about him ALL the time now….

Answer 1

your a girl, but keep your weewee in your pants. Stop trying to make this fiction novel. Stop stirring up trouble. You know you have committed mental cheating. STOP IT NOW.



How to make it up to your hubby, give him all your love, never look, flirt or think about another guy.



Also I see premarital counseling working.Church usually has it for free. You can even attend after marriage.



Arguing is normal but is it good, no, so make sure it is 7 years no arguments. After 7 solid years of perfect marriage then another child if desired.



If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought. If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love



I hope you can be stay at home wife ([no school]events with guys around unless your husband is there 100%) that takes care of all the woman things and he is taking care of all the man things like lifting, fixing working outside and handling all those jerks, and if you do work outside you know what I mean. I hope you can be a home wife so the marriage can be a loving one with peace. He wants a feminine wife not a worker guy. If you make double what he makes he should stay home.

*Talking is good. Find a private place to talk with time to talk. Never teach, just inform if necessary and in a meek manner. Handle the kids and teach them with few words and listen well, pay attention to details. If some parts kids can't be handled then inform the husband.

*Be a good wife and make sure all the cooking and cleaning is done. Stay Fit, Smell Good, Dress well. Make sure to make love when ever either of you want.

*Be meek. Quick to listen, slow to speak. Only tell him things when needed. Never teach him. If you do tell him something make sure it is kindly. Handle the kids, and if you notice you can't for sure then inform him in a kindly way.

*Hugs and kisses are always good any time, instead in front of the guys otherwise the guys might want some too. Make sure to let him know to keep the making love part private.

*Remember your NEVER a push over, you LOVE so you give BUT if your ever taken advantage fix it asap with a calm talk in a private place with time to talk while hugging and ending it with a kiss and maybe love.

*Make sure your spouse can handle things, like if he is not good with money maybe he should handle it. I mean like saving for a 6 month rainy day and then increase that as much as you can as time goes on. Buy a house cash small to start and then bigger when you decide and ready to have a child so the child can stay in one community for their whole school life and a place to come home always during Holidays and for you to plant your plants and watch them grow and to grow old in, make sure to pay cash or go smaller if needed or just wait on the child/bigger home, peace is most important. Retirement, Vacations.



Also I see counseling working.



On another note: Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.



Love and the Good Life will come

Email me if you have another further statements [e-mail]

P.P.S. More & daily words of encouragements TWITTER my account is = @glhww

P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always

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Answer 2

Why is it when I hear the word "Partner" I think of Gabby Hayes? Anyway, cutting through all the crap..if you have to hide it..then you're doing something wrong. So either break it off and get stuff together or tell you "partner" and let the chips fall where they may.



Living a lie is negative energy and it will take it’s toll…no free ride.

Answer 3

Counseling. Get counseling so you can talk about it without anyone finding out and work out what you want to do.



Don't ruin a relationship and damage a kid's life because of what someone says on Yahoo Answers. Get professional advice.

Answer 4

I agree with Robyn.