I am going through a divorce, but my husband wants me back, and I am in love with someone else?

Question

I left my husband and asked for a divorce because he was using drugs and was a addict, now that he is clean and has a good job and wants to work things out and willing to do what it takes to be with me, he wants me back, and now that I moved in to my own apartment and moved on after 6 months of being without him I fell for someone else.I don't know what to do. Should I take him back or should I move on.We have a son and I don't want to be with him just because of that.Help

Answer 1

please, move on.

it's going to be the same cycle, over and over again, you get back together, he might return back to his old ways.

you two are going to be divorced. you both agreed on that.

you're with someone else now, you love someone else, you have to get that through your husband's head.

he can't just want you one second then hate you the next, and want you the next.... that's a disgrace to you and it is also very immature.

you have an apartment, a guy you love, a job, you're better of if you start off on your own.

get back together, he might revert to his old, drug-addled ways.



but then again, you wouldnt have to listen to me or any of the answers here.

follow your heart, and see where it leads you.



hope this helps!

Answer 2

You obviously just can't jump back into it because there are too many hurt feelings but I don't think you would have asked this question if you didn't still have feeling for your husband.



My advice is to put the divorce on a hold and maybe just go for a legal separation. Keep your apartment and things like you have it right now and date. Start from the beginning. See if in six months or maybe more if you still feel the love, respect & trust that you did for him when you were in love with him to decide if you want to continue with the relationship or not. You have to protect yourself and your son in this situation too and this is probably the safest way to do that. If your husband really loves you and wants you back, he'll eventually understand and go with it.



You didn't state how old your son is but if he is old enough to kind of understand make sure he knows what is going on so he didn't think that mom and dad are back together and get his heart broke if things don't work out.



Good luck

Answer 3

Move on. Your relationship with your ex husband didn't work out for a reason. You falling in love with someone else should be reason enough to move on. People divorce all the time and fall in love with other people. Not to be mean, it was good your ex cleaned up, but I'm assuming he's had that chance plenty of times before. Just be honest with him, if you really love this other person, you would talk to your husband about it and tell him gently that yoiu have just moved on and that you ask he do the same. Also I know that some responses are to go back because of the child, but on the same note what if your ex turns back to the way he was? That wouldn't be healthy for the child either, but you also have to do what makes you happy too. Good Luck.

Answer 4

You know the saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone". My be your husband realize that and that is why he's stop doing drug. I hope that is so true. You and your husband have loved each other at one time and I believe you both gone through up and down together and that is part of life. You have to look at your relationship between you and the father of your child. I don't think your husband set out to be drug addict husband and father. If you any chance see some good in him and believe that he is telling you the truth, then I believe you should give him a chance. It is hard to built relationship and even harder to built family. It is easy to walk away and start new relationship and then the new relationship become old relationship. Good luck and I wish you with all the best.



Don't make it easy for him. Make sure he understand that the trust for him is gone and he have to built it up all over again.



Remember, love it's 2 ways street.

Answer 5

The best thing that you can do in your life is to get back ith your husband. Both of you and your son will make up a happy family.



Forget the past. Your son is destined to live with his mum and dad. Do not take this away from him. He will grow up and one day he may ask you or hold you responsible. Your hubby is now clean. He must have done a very big effort to become clean. Not many people do it. And believe me, he will do much more to be a good husband and a good dad. You will not regret it.

Answer 6

well- your ovbiousouly over your husband because you already love someone else. This is gonna suck for him because lets say for example you decide to leave your new partner and go back to your husband- your taking th risk of living with the husband again and him falling back into his bad habbit and then you'll regret dropping the good man you have now for him. I know this sounds selfish but- you've already moved on with your life- your husband shoould too. I think that if you go back to your husband he will shove in your face that you were seeing other people and make you feel bad about it. Keep the new guy and kiss the husband goodbye. IT's good that he's clean now and that he's gotten straightened out but the trick is- how long wil he be clean? you don't know that and it's too risky for you to consider to leave the new life you have now and go back to your old, miserable life. That's how life is though.

Answer 7

It's been 6 months since you've been with your husband and you've found happiness elsewhere. I think you and your husband should stay apart and let him find happiness somewhere else. You will always have a life long bond with him because of your son but don't let that influence your decision to go back. Keep moving forward girl. There's no telling if he'll go back to using drugs once you're back together. Good luck!!!!

Answer 8

After all you have been through, you are only going to find your answer in one place, and that is through prayer. Pray about it & follow your heart. You know what you feel & what is best. You know not to get back together w/ him for the sake of your son. You want him to grow up in a happy, healthy household & if that means his dad isn't in the picture 24/7, so be it; they can still have a relationship, even if you don't have "that kind" of relationship w/ his father. Ask God what you should do. You aren't going to find your answer anywhere else...

Answer 9

As a high school guy, I think i'm learning love, and if you are really in love with this new guy, then there's nothin anybody can do about it. Like me and my girlfriend, we know we want to have something together so we're goin to try and get things as good as they can. Even if things don't work out with us, we're still gonna wish for the best for the other person. With you and your husband, I think you should stay with the one you are really in love with. Your son and his dad can still have a close relation but you're not fully into it, you two shouldn't be together. I think if he really has love for you, he's gonna respect you and hope you get the best out of whatever. If he don't have that respect for you, then i would say that's o.v.

Answer 10

Well think deeply first and weigh things carefully.IF theres no love left in your heart for your husband then dont go back to him.But six months is not enough to see your true feelings..Only you could know what you really want.I just think that your husband might change temporarily so he could get you back to him but he'll have drugs again in the future..Or he really changed.Does he battered you at the past?IF yes then dont go back to him.He might do it again without any drugs in his viens.New love is not questioned in here but your safety and the safety of your child.So be wise and after that you could have a great life again.Thats all hope i helped you.

Answer 11

Do you still love him? If so then I think it would be great if you could work things out. Take it slow you don't have to jump right back into it. If you are having lots of doubts then take some time to decide. Maybe make a list of pros and cons about getting back together and see which one feels up the quickest!

Answer 12

Give it some time. I think 6 months is a little short for addicts. Tell him that you still need to see if he can keep being clean before you even think about it. While you wait you will have time to spend with your new someone and see if the feelings that you feel are real love.

Answer 13

If there is still something there that you can build on with him, it is worth trying it again for the sake of your son. If he is dead to you inside, then don't bother. But be very clear about your feeling because it will be the difference between feeling guilty for the rest of you life by not trying when you should have or being caught in a relationship with him and finding nothing there and being stuck.

Answer 14

hard choice you will have to make my friend. if your asking us? you seem unsure so sit down and weigh the costs. is the ex gonna start drinking and drugs again? or does he want you because you have someone else? or did he do this for himself and family? lets take a look at the other man. how does he treat you after 6 mo? are there red flags anywhere? how long have you been married? the grounds for divorce are adultery-widow-abuse. so the price is high. talk to a counselor or someone in your self. thanks

Answer 15

Is he a good dad now that he is off the drugs???

if so....go back with him...put family first. If he is a good person now and is a great father....your son should be enough reason to be back with him. I was raised with out a dad...and I grew up with resentment towards both parents because they were not civil enough to stay together to raise us.....it's not like we were going to stay kids forever....they just needed to scarifice a few years for us....but they did'nt care enough about how we felt.give it a shot...even if you know there is no more love for him there....just know that as soon as your son is of age....you will be free to be with whom ever you chose....do it for your son

Answer 16

Hiya..yeah that a sensible question. But trust me if ya sure if he is not anymore a druggy,and feel more comfort than before with him go ahead..Look I know the pain of lost(my fiancee left me without any reason,last nite,lol).It is very is to bend but once it break that will be broken FOREVER.All the best dear& dont hv to put that mind with the new comer into Your life. He might leave ya @ any moment,maybe not. Bonny

Answer 17

one, do u love him...

two, u said u are in love with someone else...

i think u have to decide who u are in love with first...

just because your husband changed doesnt mean u have to take him back, and just because u have a son doesnt mean u have to take him back..he can be a father without u all being married..

.but if u still love your husband and see that he really has changed then look deep in your heart and decide..only u can make this choice..

Answer 18

well in my opinion u should take back your husband b/c of your son , b/c a child needs his dad and try to make a strong family bond b/w each other , your life as a mother should revolve around your kids , today u 've fallen for someone , tomorrow u can fall for someone else , life takes patience and forgiveness , imagine a family with strong ties b/w father mother would create how much confidnece in your kids. to bring happiness , you have to sacrifice a little bit. that's what life is all about ,caring for others not just for your wishes.

Answer 19

Put your intellectual seat belt on and think very neutral right now.



You crave someone who is someone you knew in your past you want to fix? Was you dad an alcoholic or not accepting of you or emotionally not available to you? If so, that is why you are being a door mat to your X.



Snap out of it for the sake of your son... Or he will follow his biological dad's example if you go back to him and believe me, he will go back to his old tricks and blame YOU for it.

Answer 20

the worse thing you could do is take him back because of the child, that want keep your marriage together and this child will pay the price. in a divorce no one wins all will lose. but keep all doors open for him to see his son, and don't fuss in front of the child, because the child will blame himself for the brake up. now what i'd do is follow your heart. becAUSE IT WILL NEVER LEAD YOU IN THE WRONG PLACE.

Answer 21

ok well if your in love with someone else and you go back it wont work cause your heart is going to be with that other person. I"m glad that he changed that is a good thing for him and your son but that dosent mean you have to take it back. He had his chance with you and he chose to spend it wasted on drugs and alcohol. its your time to be happy with someone else. dont go back you can still be friends with him and be happy that he is doing well but i wouldnt have a relationship.

Answer 22

What ever is in the best interest for yourself and your son, and mainly your heart. It will be your choice and your choice only, but only you know the history of your husband. Take care, God Bless and Good luck.

Answer 23

You need to move on with your life and he needs to move on with his. That's the sad part about being an addict--everything gets lost and they have to start over.

Answer 24

you have to follow whats in your heart. If you don't want him then don't take him back and expecially for your son, there are ways that he still can be in your sons life and not being with you. and it seems to me that you already made up your mind, stick to it. and tell your ex that you still can be friends and thats it, and he can still be in his sons life. but to get back together, tell him your sorry but it won't work out this time, but that you still want to be friends. good luckl.

Answer 25

Don't be with him, if you don't love him... You are just going to hurt the both of you because you will be thinking about someone else....

Word

Answer 26

i think you should try to work it out before you move on to someone else.....you never know, you could be happy with him now that he has changed his life...and youre kid will be wayyy better off with his dad

Answer 27

I think that you should move on. It would be better to start afresh with someone else.

Answer 28

he seems to have got his act together and wants you - and your son. i think he might just be worth another chance. good luck to you all xx

Answer 29

move on

Answer 30

my advise is to work out what ever you can ... get back together.....

Answer 31

if you love your new boyfriend stay with him! you will be much happier!

Answer 32

hell na gurl tell him it is over cuz he coulnt do any thing for you!!!!!!