How do I respond to my husband responding to my craigslist ad that I posted to catch him in a lie? He responded, so, what should I say/do?

Question

I know my husband was searching Craigslist ads for casual encounters. I joking mentioned craigslist to him in casual conversation about searching for CEs on CL and he said that he would never because it was the lowest of lows, but I knew he was responding to ads DAILY because I had access to his email account. So, I decided to list an ad that would entice him to respond. Funny thing is everything I posted was true about myself other than the fact I wasn't actually a "married woman seeking a married man." Sure enough he responded right away. I knew it was him for two reasons: 1) the idiot's real name is attached to the email account he responded with and 2) he sent a picture. So, what do I do with this? He tells me he promises he isn't leaving me or searching for casual sex, but he is searching for it daily. Do I chat him up and gain his trust and set up a meet or do I simply respond with a picture of myself? Any advice is surly welcome here!

Answer 1

make it a fun show! (assuming you no longer care much for this relationship) ask him out on a couple dates and cancel last minute or don't show, then apologize and keep promising to make it up to him the next time. If you have any gifts he ever gave you during the relationship that you doubt he will remember giving you, regift them back to him as the person from your ad. If you have the key to his car, call him out on a date where you'll be hiding in the parking lot and when he walks in, drive his car back home (when he finds his way back be sure to deny knowing how it got there). Meanwhile, take advantage of any shared store cards and use up all the points. Revenge is best served funny! I'd much rather a woman do the above things to me rather than the classic: throwing my stuff out the window. Don't be cruel, just have your laugh, then politely tell him it's over

Answer 2

When you jokingly mentioned the CL thing to him and he answered with never doing that because it was the "lowest of lows" is a huge red flag. No mention of his love, devotion or respect for you or your vows is a dead giveaway. I would just print up every piece of evidence I have, make a nice dinner, invite him to sit and eat in a calm, quiet atmosphere and hand him the copies. Then, ask questions. Confront this head on. The two of you need to figure out why he feels the need to look elsewhere for companionship. If he's just a cheating jerk then you need to figure out what you're willing to accept in this marriage and move on from there. If there is distance between you, get to the bottom of why and fix it, if you want things to work. Game playing isn't going to solve a problem like this. Honest communication is ALWAYS the best way, in any relationship, and, most especially in marriage. If you love the man and your marriage...confront him. And, do not take vague remarks as answers...ask the hard questions: Do you want to be married to me? Do you still love me? Why do you need other women? Are you willing to work with me on getting back to where we used to be? If the answer to any one of those questions is "No", then you will do yourself a huge favor by walking away. One thing I know for sure, through all my many years, is this: Being with the wrong person, only blocks the right one from coming into your life. Choose wisely, what's in your heart's best interest, when it comes to a man who is willing to cheat. Good luck, Hon!

Answer 3

Wow, that is almost to funny if it wasn't so serious. I think you should setup a meeting in a public place and let him arrive first and then come to the table and confront him. The public place is so that most likely he will stay and talk and be calmer. Divorce is always the last choice so you should ask him about going to a marriage counselor and if he refuses then divorce is on the table. He has broken your trust, he has lied to you and was planning to cheat on you. You need know why and if it is possible to resolve and then you can determine if you want to continue on with the marriage. Not to mention, you don't know if he's met up with anyone already or not so your health is also a concern.

Answer 4

You should just ******* leave him. Get some guts, and just leave him. If you think he's cheating / lying, and you have to make craigslist ads to catch him, or if you have gone through his phone messages, emails, facebook, google+, or done any kind of spying on him the relationship is over, because their is no more trust.



break up, you're relationship is already over.

Answer 5

So, you set him up to bust him, but if you reveal your trick he'll just claim he knew it was you and was playing along to teach you a lesson.



Talk to him. Tell him you know what he's been doing because you've seen the emails. Doesn't matter if you tell him or not that you set him up, because that shouldn't have been done. You don't trust him so your relationship is faltering. No trust = no relationship. Tell him frankly that you two need to get busy fixing things, because you don't intend to sit by while he seeks attention from other women on CL (whether or not he intends to actually meet them).

Answer 6

Wow...this is a pickle huh? lol

First off he may be window shopping, but actually walking into the store and "buying" something may not be the case here. In other words it could just be fantasy, and reality is a much further leap.

It reminds me of the song Pina Colada really. If you can be tactful and brave then proceed with seeing how far it can go....follow the theme of the song though and use it to your relationships benefit...not as a trap.

It could be he is missing the same things you are and just doesn't know how to fix it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TazHNpt6OTo

Answer 7

I would maybe send him a picture of yourself! That would be a very humorous way of catching him out because he will more than likely get the shock of his life when he sees that it is you. I feel really sorry for the predicament that you are in because your husband has obviously lied to you. The irony of the whole situation is that your husband goes on there looking for someone who he is attracted to and find you - the person who he is married to! So if its any consolation, at least he still finds you attractive!

Answer 8

Chastity

Cuckold

Answer 9

If you still love him and/or want to continue living with him, and have hope for fixing what`s wrong, then entice him (under your alter ego) to tell you why is he looking for, is he not supported at home, his wife is not providing enough sex, make him talk, you may end up finding it's something really easy to fix, like him linking some sex positions that you'd never dare, or whatnot. Make him reveal what's moving him to look for C.E.

Answer 10

He is searching the personals trying to catch you posting ads for casual sex with strangers . You got busted and are now trying to turn this around on him .

Answer 11

Write him and arrange a meeting at a bar. Enjoy the look on his face when he shows up and finds you sitting there. Then have a serious conversation about the relationship (or just break up with him) at the bar.

Answer 12

I think you should set up a meet, and make print outs of all the emails between you and him. Go to the meet and when he sees you, silently hand him copies of them all. Say nothing at first - let him talk.

Answer 13

What ever you decide, have yourself tested for STDs.

Answer 14

What exactly do you gain out of going to all the time and trouble of setting him up? Sure, the shock on his face might be gratifying for a minute or two, but it still leaves you in the exact same place you are right now, which is how to deal with the fact you're married to a lying cheater. Print out the email you've already gotten, take it to a divorce lawyer, and go from there. Or, if you're not ready to give up for whatever reason, take the problem seriously instead of playing games and talk to him.

Answer 15

Of course he would (and should) lie about something like that. That said, answering and ad or even posting one on CL is not a true sign of intent. From time to time, I have posted outlandish stuff in CE for my personal amusement--without the slightest intention of following through. The only way to know what his true intentions are is to make a date. If he shows up...you know you have a cheater on your hands.

Answer 16

You know, I think the first question that needs answered is why he is doing so? Now this is a guess but I would bet that he has spoken with you about what he thinks is wrong in the relationship but you have ignored him or pissed off what he has said to you. Lady, in most cases, men do not decide to deal with other women or possible cheat on their wife until they feel they have been completed disregarded and blown off by wifey. And usually more than once.



You can play victim all you want. And it is possible that you have that one in a million guy who is just a cheat no matter what. But I will tell you now that it is not likely this is the case.

Answer 17

Normally I wouldn't condone such of but do him like chris Hansen would. Meet up with him somewhere and walk up behind him an tell him to have a sit over there we need too talk. Till then it easy being green!

Answer 18

If you're going to play games instead of getting to the core of the matter, then of course chat him up and wait to meet.

Answer 19

All these answers and not a one reference to Escape:





"So I waited with high hopes and she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face

It was my own lovely lady and she said, "Aw, it's you."

Then we laughed for a moment and I said, "I never knew."

Answer 20

Perhaps you need to spend a little of your time pleasuring your husband so he doesn't stray. Women...

Answer 21

be careful, when you want to find out any information, that you are prepared for the information you get. did you really want it. why? and dont forget , a cheating lover,, especially one who refuses to admit to it, even when directly asked, can lead to a death sentence these days of hiv and aids

Answer 22

i would respond with my photo and attach scanned copies of the divorce papers that i would have already filed. however, thats just me. i do like the idea of answering with a photo of myself tho...

Answer 23

So, you lied and that's OK, but him lying is wrong? Can you say "double standard"? I knew you could.

Answer 24

if you want to continue with him, then, confront him , talk, and go to therapy together......if you are done with him, confront him at a meeting in a public place where you allow him to show up first.....tell him the charade is over, he is BUSTED!...end it...

Answer 25

Sounds like you both are doing the same crap and this trap of yours, is justification.

Answer 26

He knew it was you. If you confront him in your lame *** attempt to entrap him, he will probably kick your skanky *** to the curb

Answer 27

why was he searching for casual encounters on cl?

Answer 28

make him your ex husband