He married you to accomplish his goals and not yours. Your feelings are real and accurate. I have been through a very similiar experience with the gender roles reversed. When you get to the truth about this, you will see that you are being used. Love doesn't hurt. If you are hurting, then it isn't love. I know you want it to be. I know you are hurting. You will continue to hurt a little at a time. His needs are being met and those are determined solely by him. This is immaturity, self-centeredness, and selfishness. This is not love. You are more mature, you are intelligent, sensitive, and I can hear clearly that you are a Giver, and he is a Taker. You are also suffering cultural differences. There are countries where what he describes as 'how a woman should be' is what he has learned, and is his reality. You cannot change any of his character and nature. You will suffer for this as well. I suffered until I realized that I was in denial about the whole situation. That the truth is right in front of you. That you are not ready yet to see it and admit, fully, the truth about yourself - it is not 100% 'him' and you need to step up to the plate and and ask yourself what you really want in life. I see that you desire a good man who will truly 'love, honor, and cherish' you. Your suffering will continue, a little at a time, everyday, until you have the courage to suffer through what really needs to be done - and that is to leave him, spend some time really being honest about why you married him - you will find out things about yourself that you may not be ready to admit. You will need time to heal, to grow and gain wisdom about yourself - not him. You might just find out that you are 100% responsible for your joy, not him. That you may have some insecurities about yourself that need to be examined within yourself - be honest. You might find out that when you become free, truly free, that your next relationship will be very different from the one you are now in because what has changed, is you. It is not easy, but take the time to 'know thyself' and to know the truth about yourself - you are responsible for your joy and satisfaction in your life. Don't give your responsibilty away to 'him' by lowering your convictions, suffering, hoping, withdrawing, staying in denial about the relationship, and admit to yourself that you cannot change 'him' but you can change you. Said more simply, you can only change one person in the whole world - that is you. Don't give your responsibility away to other people, it is not an easy path to tell the truth about ourselves, but in the end, you will have joy instead of misery - and that is where you are headed with the relationship you are in. I have gained a lot of wisdom having been through what you are going through now. Feel free to write me if you want to know what I learned and how I got through the mess I was in - very similiar, a woman seeking 'papeles' by a marriage and 'faking' love, honoring, and cherishing me. What you don't want to see yet, is that there are a lot of people who 'just don't care' and I really get that you are a caring person. Know the truth, and the truth will set you free.