What should I do if I know my girlfriend is lying about what she did last night? (Cnt'd, more info)?

Question

I chat with her closest friend that night. She told that they both didn't go to the evening class. When I call L, my gf, this morning, she said she and her friend went to class and had a birthday party after. So it's obvious that she lied!
Ok, if I tell her straight that she's lying, she would get mad that I'm spying her and worsen the relationship which is already in bad situation. Furthermore, she would get mad at her close friend for this incident. FYI, I ask L's close friend to help us heal the relationship so if L hates her, it won't help.
Does this psy analysis support that I should remain silent and let it go, just be cool like a man leave her private space.

Answer 1

Wow, that's lots of issues in that pharagraph. I'll just try and take them one by one.

First off, you don't need to be on the phone with her best friend. That's her friend and relationships need boundries. If this friend is someone you both new before, it does not seem to me that you were prying. It was just info. that came up. You did not do anything so if the "friend" gets mad, you can be like, "you said it, I didn't. How does she feel about you talking with her best friend on the phone. Does she know. Where you trying to catch her at something or was the friend trying to "accidentally" tell on her.



OK, so I think I would approach it like this. I would just tell her about your conversation with the friend and what was mentioned, because if no one was doing anything wrong, her, you or the "friend", those things just happen. I would tell her what her friend had said and that the info. she gave you had upset you. Only because she felt like she could not tell you the truth. I would not ask her what or where she was. Start establishing some trust and just tell her next time you hope she feels she can tell you the truth because you won't judge her. She may have had a really good reason why she did not tell you. Sometimes people keep secrets to try and not hurt you. And, let just say she was cheating. The way you handle it will make her think much more of you.



Have you ever lied to someone's face. You never think, "oh that person's dumb". Usually you feel really bad about it and I bet she is already feeling bad for lying so you not coming down on her will take the guilt away and out from in between the two of you. Last but not least, if your girlfriends does get mad at her friend, then she should. The friend must not be that good of a friend and you might want to warn you girlfriend about her. She'll love the fact that even though the other girl told you something negative about her, you are still taking up for her and looking out for her best interest. Good luck.

Answer 2

Why are you so sure she lied and your source is right? What if your source is mistaken? Lying? How do you know she didn't go to the birthday party first, then somewhere else later? Why is this such a big thing? When my husband and I were apart, I'd say I went shopping or out with some friends. It didn't matter who they were. Are you having a hard time right now in your relationship because of your suspiciousness? Distrust? Control over her? Mate, let it go.

Answer 3

It is human nature to be compulsive, it is human nature to lie. To those that compulsively lie tend to weave a web of deceit and eventually they get caught in that web (if they are lying).

My best advise to you would be to not say anything, see what transpires in the next few days. Remain silent, but don't let it go, having said that, don't let it eat you up inside. Being a man does not mean you deserve to walked all over by another. Take a step back and look in from the outside, you'll be able to get a clearer picture if you do. You know what you need to do, how you do it, when you do it is entirely up to you. Don't leap into the situation with guns blaring, be patient and you'll get your answer.

Answer 4

Let it go. What's the big deal. It's not like she's cheating on you, then that's a hole different story. If you have to be that controlling and insecure then get a new girlfriend. Maybe she's not all that into you and doesn't want to spend every minute with you. Why don't you check out school instead of checking out what she does every minute. Besides, for real dude your a young guy, what do you need a girlfriend for. You should be playing the field and dating lots of chicks. Let her worry about what your doing.

Answer 5

I think you need to confront her. If she gets mad or upset, that's too bad. She's hiding something. You don't have to say that you and her best friend talked...



I think you are getting to where you don't trust her...and that's not a good thing if you both want the relationship to work.



If you confront her be prepared for her to throw a hissy fit.....she might even break up with you but I think it's important for you to find out why she is lying to you.

Answer 6

Yes be cool and slick... let it be. If this happens again, then approach her in a calm manner. She may be lying to save a fight about her going out with her friends. My boyfriend was too over protective and would get jealous if I wanted to be with my friends or even family. So she may be trying to protect her privacy and preventing any hurt feelings or arguments. It's not cool to lie for any reason. Communication is key... remember no freak outs or guilt trips.

Answer 7

without trust, there is no relationship. What made you ask her friend to begin with? Has your g/f done anything to make you suspicious of her to even have to ask her friend, that would upset me, because not all friends are honest either. Her friend may be jealous of you and her because she doesn't have a b/f. Unless you have reason to suspect her, I think it's best you let it be, or your g/f may end up dumping you for not trusting her in the first place.

Answer 8

How do you worsen a bad situation of her lying to you? If she's gonna get mad at you because SHE lied, you need to move on my friend. Who knows, she may have her eye on another anyways, get it out in the open and act if you need to. But you KNOW she's lying so she's obviously up to something.

Answer 9

I guess the first question you need to ask yourself is, why did she lie in the first place?

If it were me, I would start to think - if she lied about something like that, something that seems so small, what else is she lying about?

I would ask her about her class, ask her how it's going, what she's learning, what they did in the class last night - see what she says, maybe she might get the "hint" that you know something she doesn't...who knows, if you do that, she might come clean and confess to lying!

Answer 10

Ask her friend to tell her you know the truth if you really want to know, but you should probably let it go. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal. If it sticks on your mind though, ask her friend. If she refuses, talk to your girlfriend in a way that doesn't make her think you are accusing her of anything.

Answer 11

put the shoe on the other foot. If the relationship IS rocky who would you go to or would you lie about where you went if you needed space or do you have a reliable source for the information you got from her gf?

Answer 12

I don't trust your girlfriends friend. If that was really her friend then why would she rat her friend out. Misery loves company. You need to talk to your girlfriend about what her friend is saying. Even if she did lie, how do you know she did something? You don't! Her friend could be some jealous girl trying to break you two up. She probably likes you. You never know. MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

Answer 13

just so you know, girls tend to not like seeing other girls be happy... what makes you thin kyour gf is lying? how do you know it isnt her friend trying to break you up? maybe the friend has a crush on you.. or maybe shes jealous that you spend more time with her than she does.....better look into this more. The best way to handle this quick is to get both of them in the same room with you, tell her what the friend told you, and see who changes their story... then you will know who to trust and who to give the boot!

Answer 14

Do you believe more to somebody else than to your girlfriend? To skip class is not a reason to lie yo you.. Unless if you are not mature enough.. I would not ask her, just trust her and you will see how her friend will be jealous to see that her comments did not affect your relation. Take it easy man!

Answer 15

SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU!!! !don't be a fool, stop worrying about her getting mad at you.. you should be the one whose mad with her.. she's definately playing up! and shes been caught out.. saying that though similar thing happened to me but really my boyfriend was out buying an anniversary gift for me...

Answer 16

be brave cz relationships like this need's truth and honest so if its not like that find another partner. so go and ask her correctly and tell her when ever you will find the truth you will end the relationship cause its seems things are not going to be write when some one lies and you'll have to listen so it better to be over



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Answer 17

If it's already in a bad situation, I can pretty much guarantee that it won't get much better. Get out now, or think of me saying "I told you so" when you catch her with your best friend, your brother, roommate, etc.

Answer 18

Its not that big a deal, so she said she went to class when she didnt, just let it go, but if she did other things that really upset you just talk to her. But dont walk up, point your finger and say you lied, that wont help.

Answer 19

i gotta laugh haha



she will get mad at you coz, she's a liar and you caught her lying.



she is playing you for a fool.



if you want to really blow this up. invite both girls out for coffe and tell your girl that this girl told you this and sit back and listen to the fight...

don't interupt, just listen



then choose who is telling the truth

Answer 20

Does your gf know you're having these private chats with her friend? Does your friend have the hots for you?



What is wrong with you? Why are you talking with everyone online, your gf's friend - anyone and everyone except your gf?



What a loser. Do your gf a favour and dump her.

Answer 21

If you two are in a serious relationship, you should be able to ask her anything you want.

If she is not being truthful, then she probably has something to hide..........It would not be wise for you to just let this go

Answer 22

like you said dude remain silent and let it go, just be cool like a man leave her private space.trust an old guy on this.

Answer 23

Screw her friend bro. You need to tell your girl what's up and tell her you got proof. HER friend is not your friend so go with it and drop this bad habit. If you stay your going to make it worse. She lyes now it gets worse later.

Answer 24

you cant approach her directly..... just leave it off for now cuz she may have her own reasons for it.... u can have like a casual conversation with her and ask her to not keep anything from u.... u cant rush her or get angry at her.......thats the best way..... good luck

Answer 25

I am assuming you do not trust that she is not cheating. Tell her that you believe she is cheating. Do not tell her you caught her in this lie. By telling her you are beginning to wonder, if you catch her in another lie, you can confront her.

Answer 26

lied? or changed her mind about what she was going to do?



details details. if youve got 'real' problems with her doing things that are questionable or stepping over real boundaries in your relationship, then confront her about those things.

Answer 27

I think she just went to the party - no need to be upset

Answer 28

you didnt spy on her- you just came across the info by accident...

Id confront her.

If she isnt doing anything wrong why would she have to lie?

Answer 29

ask. asap. if shes cheating you need to know. if she didn't lie to you but her friend did then your screwed buddy.

Answer 30

confront her about it and say that your concerned that she lied to you. if you cant trust her you probably shouldnt be with her

Answer 31

try talking to her yourself, that's what you should have done in the first place.

Answer 32

the b.tch is lying to you. she could be cheating for all you know. confront her and if she still denies it then leeeeave her sorry a.ss

Answer 33

what are you doing bro? sounds like you better have your mommy give her a call!

Answer 34

dude...u gotta find a new woman

Answer 35

DUMP HER, INNOCENCE NEEDS NO LIES. PROBS IN RELATIONSHIP TOO.... MOVEON!

Answer 36

break up with her

Answer 37

her