The after effects of getting dumped?

Question

I think people underestimate the lasting effects of getting dumped. you have feelings of isolation, low self esteem, anger, fustration. i can go on and on. if you still love the person, its even worse. my ex has another boyfriend and she's pregnant. its a surreal situation because, it affects you as if your sick or something. your thoughs wonder, you see other pregnant woman, you wonder why cant it be you having the kid with her etc.. the hard thing is, when you get dumped, its as if you dont even exist anymore. like ya relationship never happened. but here is even stranger thing......two people love each other deeply then for one person, the feeligns persist and for the other person they seem to disappear and they seem to move on happily ever after and you have to deal with feelings you still have and feelings she once had and dont seem to have anymore.?? anyone in my position or has been in my position?

Answer 1

You know what, you are allowed to have a "pity party" when ever you get dumped!! In fact, I recommend it. It's part of the process of grieving for the lost relationship. It's almost like grieving a death. You are sad, then angry, then look for someone to blame, then get mad again, then start to feel loss, grief, emptiness, so on and so on.

It's when you can't move on, you start to run into trouble. That's when you should look into counselling to help you get over it and move on.

Answer 2

no it's that your not wise

you still immature and like a young adolescent have not matured much in relationships

you take the view that the one who just dump was as good as it ever get... that you ever get....

and that's just WRONG

you sell yourself short because you lack self esteem to begin with

when you realize there are plenty of good women who appreciate and wish a for a good man and you simply made a bad choice when you picked her...

the thing is there were signs that YOU ignored

there were red flags telling you she is not the one

but you were foolish and went ahead anyways

part of what your feeling now is the feeling of being duped for so long... and the sinking feeling ( which is correct by the way ) that you had a hand in the whole thing..

.

you had low self esteem BEFORE you got dumped

having a GF buffers it temprorarily

but it comes into full focus after you get dumped



in time when you leanr to like yourself, and learn to read women more accurately you then be more wise in dating

and as such you might go a a few just to see whats out there

only to find out not much but a lot of women with baggage

and that, you find a lot of ....

once you learn to filter your searches and hold true to core values ( something you didn't do the 1st time around ) it will be easy to see the right ones from the wrong ones and be real easy to say no to the wrong women.



as for after effects.. to those who are prepared and know what's happening around them, there are no after affects, as a good man does not feel sorry for him self nor does he have any regrets, and thus is usally the dumpor not he dumpee and thus moves on quite rapidly.... women and lesser men dweel on what has happened while the world in general moves one with out them.

Answer 3

i might want to get a 2d opinion, if the dr became that slack to inform you 6 mths in the past i'd not bypass lower back. If she's been having breast milk for 6 mths and as you assert she's ahead on milestones and weight i might want to save giving breast milk till you get a 2d opinion to verify both way. i do not somewhat position self belief in sueing i imagine it takes position too in many cases yet i might want to really write a letter to whoever is in value and prehaps get some television modern-day affairs coach to do a tale there is those who are not as fortunate with a healthful infant, human beings do want to charm to close and which couldn't inevitably take position by technique of sueing them.

Answer 4

That sounds terrible. It sounds like you really cared for her.



If I were you, I'd focus on why you guys broke up, and from there, I'd just remind myself that she obviously couldn't have felt what you felt or she wouldn't have been with another man. Here she is - pregnant and over you and you are still in love. She obviously deceived you in to believing what you wanted to believe about her feelings for you. If you can focus on all that which wasn't real in your relationship, maybe you'll be able to realize it wasn't as good as you thought it was.

Answer 5

My love,,,,that's when the mind is a terrible thing to waste....use yours to convince.brainwash,tell yourself over and over...She's moved on,she does not love me so why should i sit here and be thinking and missing her when she's moved on...I mean here she's even having a baby with someone else..Come on be strong,you find a little space for her in your heart and try to get busy so you think of her less and less each day.If she's meant to be with you ,it will happen but don't torment yourself with that idea...It's not time that heals all wounds ,it's what u do with the time that heals our wounds...use it to your advantage...takecare

Answer 6

Of course, everyone over the age if 15 has been dumped.

Answer 7

The only real problem with getting dumped is realizing that you're back to a life of masturbation instead of sex.

Answer 8

I think most people have been there at one time or another. My heart goes out to you for being there now. Please read Dr. Phils advice, there might be something you can get out of it. Peace :-)

"Healing A Broken Heart"

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/18

"Life After Divorce"

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/213

Answer 9

I think that anyone who has been in a relationship and has been dumped has been through what you have. I for one have.

Answer 10

it hurts terrible to be dumped and betrayed i went threw it i feel low self asteem it effect's your mind your thoughts your sleep nightmare's sadness your all mixed up you feel like you weren't good enough my husband did me dirty and it hurt's a lot

Answer 11

yes my bf that i loved deeply just broke up with me but we r still friends i think i mean we r working on it

Answer 12

everyone has been in your position