I tell you what, I would do anything to know the truth. I would want to know no matter how bad it would hurt. No matter how broken my heart, it would kill me not to know and not being sure.
My husband's cousin was cheating on his wife. His wife is in Mexico, and he came here to the States. Soon after his arrival here, my husband told me that his cousin was asking for condoms so he asked me if he could give him the box we had since we weren't using them. I know that if one day I meet his wife in Mexico, I would feel relieved to tell her, because if it was me, I would be happy to find out the truth from someone who cared enough to tell me.
Unfaithful Husbands - MY STORY
I can't tell you what decision to make. Each person is different. But I can relate to what you are going through.
I knew in my heart that my husband was cheating even before I had proof. Then one day, I did get proof and went to see the girl. I don't know if she was lying about being pregnant, but she claimed she was, and due to some medical condition claimed that she had a 90% chance she would not survive any pregnancy and would have to abort. She was trying to get the $$ for abortion from my husband when I caught the voice messages for him from her on his phone. Finally, PROOF. She also had convinced me she was seeing him when she told me things that had happened between them. The whole story is drama and I don't think you need to hear it all, but what a scene when I confronted him with her by my side! In the end, I gave her $50 as I was greatful she was honest with me. I haven't heard from her since except for one phone call I made to her to check up and see how she was doing.
I found out about the infidelity early 2007. Now it has been hard to forgive and trust again. But I have stayed with him since, with much difficulty. I am depressed and still feel desire for vengence on him. I don't know if I will be able to deal much longer with a relationship in which I have little emotional fulfillment. I have tried to make him understand how I feel and fail as he feels guilty and refuses to talk about it. There is little remorse from him as he is full of pride. I feel I will never be loved as I desire by him.
I can see that he has tried to change some things, and he is less often keeping me in the dark. But there are times he stays out and doesn't answer my calls. He says he's just "hanging out". But I don't understand how he could think that's okay if I'm at home with the kids. How can he think that I can trust him to be out like that?
The reason I stay with him is because I have faith that anything is possible with God. And although, he hasn't shown a drastic improvement in attitude and care, I feel he has the potential to change. I also dread the idea of trying to live on my own. I dread the thought of loneliness. There is more financial stability as I raise my 2 sons with him. Although I know I probably could make it on my own, I fear the difficulties that may come in doing so.
The only thing I can do is continue to live life as I am... working full time, caring for the kids and the home, taking care of my husband, and take care of issues like this when they come up. I am still hurt, and that hurt may never go away completely, but all I can do about my husband's attitude and actions is pray. I cannot change him. I can only change myself and try to be the one he wants to be with always.
Leaving him or not leaving him is a matter of personal choice. I have decided to give him a chance to make things better, and I do see he is trying to an extent. I know I also have a biblical right to divorce him, as in the matter of infidelity, divorce is okay.
"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." Matthew 19:9 New International Version
And who knows... maybe one day, I will leave him. Perhaps he will return to do as he has done before, and it will have been the last straw.