Troubles with my live in sister in law...please help!?

Question

She and my brother are divorcing. So she and her two little girls moved in with my husband and I three months ago. She has helped pay the electric bill twice and the cable bill once and she buys groceries with us. I babysit her girls five days a week for free. We are moving to a bigger house we are buying and they are moving with us because rent is outrageous here but she wants to use both our spare bedrooms and I have a daycare so I could use the space but she refuses to share a room with her kids so I can't bring all of my things into our new home. I love her to death but I'm suffocating and frankly a little irritated that she doesn't offer to help with rent or to pay me for daycare I almost feel like she thinks I owe her because of her situation which is why we offered to help her until she got on her feet. But she isn't trying. Would it be rude of me to ask for rent? She gets 900 a month in child support plus she works full time. I'm just not wanting to be the bully because I love my nieces and when they are with me I know they are being taken care of and not left to fend for themselves when mommy needs a nap. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Talk to her about it. Explain that bills don't pay themselves. That if she lived on her own she would have child care expenses, rent, electric, water, cable, phone, and car insurance all in her name. Have a written contract stating how much rent she is to give you each month and whether it is due on the first in full or each paycheck she receives. Tell her That when you move into this new house she will be sharing a room with her kids unless she is paying half of all bills. Which should be written into the contract. Tell her you and your husband have no obligation to support her. You are allowing this living arrangement because of the kids. If she does not pay then you will have to evict her. Let her know this. Unless you want her running your house and your life.

Answer 2

You are under no obligation to support your sil and nieces. If she's getting $900 a month cs, working and spending virtually nothing staying with you, you definitely should be getting something for the extra utilities and childcare. I'm not sure I'd charge family rent but that's your call. Don't let her get too used to the free ride otherwise you'll get more and more resentful and the relationship will get very unpleasant. Now's the time to sit her down and discuss with her how much she is going to contribute for utilities, rent and childcare. Don't be shy about doing it, it'll leave no room for misunderstanding and resentment in the future. Good Luck.

Answer 3

The fact that we are living and breathing and able to do all these things. The fact that we are not rocks and some divine coincidence made use who we are instead of some inorganic atom. The fact we can give things worth. We can categorise. Its all beautiful, the sight, the sound, the feel, the emotion, the taste. Even pain. We can feel that not many other things can. Pain may be painful, but we can feel it just as we can feel happy. Its amazing really that out of all of this we can do these things. Although it seems to suck sometimes its still wonderful. random fact: if you shoot a rabbit, it doesnt know why it feels pain, it doesn't register that there is an explanation, it just knows it feels pain and as a reaction will run away, even if its dying. Shoot a human (even if they did not know what a gun was) it would realise its something launched, have some sort or knowledge of what to do and so on. I dont think this was relevant but its written now... But if youre looking for one reason it would definitely be pie.

Answer 4

She is fully taking advantage of you, of course she should pay rent one third of your mortgage plus some groceries and some utilities, the 900 is for child support but you are caring for those kids, and should be compensated. A woman works full time and gets 900? No, i wouldn't allow her to move in, tell her to get her own place. When she meets a guy someday and goes on some fabulous honeymoon you won't even get a thank you/post card.

Answer 5

You have every right to ask her for rent. Also TELL her that she has to use only one room in the new house because you need the other room for other things. I understand wanting to help her because she has small children, but it might be time to start laying down some rules and maybe encourage her to start saving and looking for a place of her own. Even give her a time frame that you would like her to have a place of her own, other wise she may just keep taking advantage of you.

Good Luck

Answer 6

My suggestions are this. Its your home not hers and she shouldn't think she can move in and treat your home like her own. She is a guest but from the demands she is making I think she is planing on staying. Things like that never work out so you need to tell her the way things are and if she doesn't like them, then she can find a roof somewhere else. You could tell her you expect some of the child support money to help you out since you take care of her kids. Just remember you need to let her know that its your house and your home, not hers!

Answer 7

Why doesn't she just move out and get a place of her own? If she has to stay then I say give her the 2 rooms that she wants but charge her for rent. In the meantime give her a date on when she should be out by, she is an adult she should be out on her own.

Answer 8

Lady, you need to stand up now and clear the air. Let her know in no uncertain terms what you expect of her. If not, you're going to be paying for something that you didn't do for a long long time. Is it worth it to you?

Answer 9

I have never heard of 2 families living together and it work

Answer 10

No, it's not rude of you to ask her to pay rent. She is just taking advantage of you and it is unfair of her to expect something for nothing.

Answer 11

You made that bed.