big argument with fiancee over her getting a job?

Question

big argument with fiancee over her getting a job?

Answer 1

Take it a step further. Make sure she is off your bank accounts and has NO access to YOUR money. Don't indulge in her materialistic wants - tell her to get a job and go buy it herself. She obviously has no clue what the value of money means. Time she learn really quick. To argue with you because you won't support her??? ohmywow... I have a visual of her kicking her feet and flopping around on the floor like a fish outta water - screaming and crying "givemeyourmoney"

Answer 2

you handled it wrong.........



once she opened her mouth and said you make enough for the both of you

and closed with that she is not going to look for a job...........



this was a preview of your future.........she's going to call the shots.....if you don't

like it you will be in divorce court trying to get her alimony cut back.......



and as far as poor people skills, you need to get along with people period........

we all need to do that as employers and employees.........



this is where you went wrong........you said September..........sure she can land

a job..then screw it up and you are back where you are right now.....only 6-8

months down the road.........with her knocked up and your balls mounted in

her trophy case.......



get her out now......now now now now now now now now now now now now

clearly you two have different value systems and ethics.........



she isn't going to change and she is going to take you for all you are worth........

sooner or later...........

Answer 3

So long as you will follow through in September, you did the right thing.

Answer 4

You claim you hate lazy people but look who you proposed to?..



contradiction there, and it's a miracle you opened your eyes before you walked down the isle.

Geez. Also, now that you've set the tone and she knows your wrath is coming due in September...





Wrap it up, because if she's smart enough to reel you in all the these years,

she's smart enough to get pregnant and then you won't and can't do anything about her being lazy, as she'll use being a 'mother' as an excuse to sit on her as s.



Is this the type of woman you want as a mother for your child?

great example!







No you were NOT overboard. You did the right thing! She was getting away with her laziness before because you never stood up about the issue, so she called you bluff and thought it was talk!



Show her otherwise, actually DUMP her, there's no negotiating with her. ...



She won't changed, she'll trap you and then you'll be screwed!



In the meantime, keep **wrapping it up, she will find a new reason why she can't work, most likely it will be because she's pregnant, ** ....



But hopefully you come to your senses, take action and dump this broad, today!

Answer 5

She's a loser unmotivated and a lazy slob who to add is uneducated.



Cut your losses and move on. She will not change. Especially not after you marry and especially not after you have kids

Answer 6

I am sorry to say this, but she sounds like a spoiled brat. A marriage is a partnership between two people, and they both have to pull their weight and give 110% in order for things to work. Why should the burden of support be solely on your shoulders. You definitely did not go overboard. She sounds lazy and immature, good luck with that. No job. No marriage.

Answer 7

As long as she isn't pregnant yet and/or you guys get married I don't see any reason for her not to work. Once you get her pregnant though she's out of the workforce and concentrates on doing the Mommy thing.

Answer 8

She sounds lazy, you should just dump her now and save urself a pricey divorce. She might get a job for now and then get married and later quit. . . you know ? I hate lazy people. Plus what is she gana do without a job anyways ? sit on her lazy *** all day? or go out and spend ur money ?

Answer 9

For the time being you handled this correctly. She obviously is lazy and thinks the world owes her a living without any effort at all!!! You have given her notice that if she doesnt shape up then shes gone, I dont blame you. Its hard enough for anyone to cope financially at the moment and you also need to know that if things get tough she would do the same and support you - what if you lost your job tomorrow??? Frankly I think giving to September is a bit long but thats your choice. Stick by your words and prepare to action them if nothing changes. Better you find out the truth before your married and not after, shes too young to have this attitude and be careful you dont suddenly find out shes pregnant before September - not that I am hinting at anything but seen a lot of girls get pregnant as an alternative option to play on your emotions.

Answer 10

I think you were right.



But another thing that you might want to consider is the first way you described her. You said that her people skills suck. That is a very important observation you have about her. The cold harsh reality of that is that her poor people skills very likely will drive a wedge between you and your family and friends. Is that something that you want for the next 60 years of your life.



In addition, you sound like you are career-driven. As a rising star in the corporate world, you need a spouse who can help you in your career. There will be times that your wife will attend corporate events or client dinners, or entertaining co-workers/clients. Is someone whose people skills suck the kind of person you think will help or hinder you in your career.



I think you are very wise to think both with your brain as well as your heart when it comes to relationships.

Answer 11

She is a VERY dysfunctional and troubled person. Do not get angry,. She needs a ton of help....She has certain disorders if she can't hold jobs and gets flustered with people, and refuses to try. She needs pro help. I'd not marry her until she is long on the way to keeping a long term job, and that will be never unless she gets psychiatric testing for anxiety disorders, emotional disorders and behavioral disasters at an outpatient until of a hospital's psychiatric division///then get the pro written evaluation and start therapy and maybe get medication. She is, in other words, probably mentally challenged.



This is the tip of the ICEBERG. TGhis type pof person usually defends their ego and will break agreements with you over other things should you marry. I'd IMMEDIATELY ask for the ring back. It is the only gift given conditionally and only finalized after the marriage. She cannot under the law keep it. tell her you wish her well, but she has her own problems which she has to deal with.



You are right,. She is freeloading. She might say she'll get a job. After the last outburst, I'd not trust her. Any mormal person would do anything to help short of stripping. She really is not prepared for marriage nor an engagement.

Answer 12

You know I think it depends entirely on why she doesn't want to work. If it is indeed because her people skills suck (because mine do too and work is therefore miserable) then you have been too hard on her. For example my husband has issues dewaling with people and was having a mental breakdown basically and was suicidal over the work he did and due to his lack of education at present the only other job he could get was a part time mimimum wage deal, but I said ok because I care for his sanity.



Now if in fact she is a lazy freeloader who just doesn't want to work and her objective was to find a rich man and never do anything again despite not developing depression as a result of having to work then yes you are doing the right thing. And a lot of women are like that. You know her well. Which is it? Is she depressed and hates her life when she has to work or is she taking advantage of you?



And if it is an emotional issue related to work then perhaps you could consider getting her a student line of credit and sending her back to school for something that is less stressful and doesn't deal with people as much. Like medical lab assistant maybe? That is what I am going for because I too hate dealing with customers.

Answer 13

If you don't want a housewife, then you did the right thing. Perhaps she would be interested in college? It sucks when you have limited choices and most of them involve customers when you don't have an education. If she can find an interest and pursue it with an education, then maybe she'd be happy to work. Probably though you need to talk to her about her expectations in the marriage. Maybe she thought she was going to be a housewife and so sees no point in getting a job. Let her know how you feel about it and then decide what you want to do from there.

Answer 14

No, if thats your belief then you have to use tough love.

In saying that she could do with some employment counciling or look into other types of work that doesnt involve customers, like computers or something.

Theres a trend here and she needs to work out what it is thats causing her to only last 6 months in jobs.

Maybe its a lack of commitment or the qualities that are needed for the roles she in.

Everyone is good at something and if she can figure out what gets her going as in what gives her a buzz then maybe she should do a course in it or something.

This isnt just a matter of putting her cv out there, she needs to figure out whats going wrong and really work on it,

You dont know how she feels cause its come easy to you.

Answer 15

...lol. harsh for telling her that,yes.

but i agree. she needs a job of course. but she has to find it on her own will, and if her people skills don't work, then find her a job that doesn't involve helping others right away, if you know what i mean. when she says there's no jobs anywhere, i think she means there's no jobs out there that she'll be happy with. make her happy fooh, and help her out. :3



--- although, if she is a freeloader. just...figure it out. you'll figure it out eventually.

Answer 16

yes you did.



just the fact that she said she wasnt going to look for a job because you can support the both of you shows just how lazy she is. move on to someone more independent. in the end u will resent her for it if you stay with her and she doesnt have a job.

Answer 17

WOW!! You need to dump that freeloading whore immediately@



If you keep her, she needs to Cook dinner, clean and suck you c0ck every day when you walk in the door! There is a great business idea for her, she can get a job giving bl0wjobs to people for $$$@!@!

Answer 18

you're meant to b married. He has no actual to act like he owns you. or ur physique. yet, u do might desire to make time for him. Him merely "desiring" you, w/o brushing or bathing, replaced into him thinking "if I take time to do those issues, I wont have time for intercourse" so it particularly is extra significant? i will brush n tub rather rapid n dart out the door, yet making a quickie rapid isnt any relaxing for me. whilst he's attempting to circulate to artwork on time, he doesnt have time to think of approximately ur desires. i be responsive to u in basic terms gave one occasion of many, so he's a baby whilst it comprises intercourse, yet he doesnt see you attempting. And, by way of strain he's below, he forgot that he instructed you he wouldnt act that way. perchance you do think of you have him, so u dont attempt anymore. And if it particularly is so, this is not honest that he has to aim for intercourse, n you dont. the two one in all you prefer a trip!!!!!!!!! Get a sitter, circulate away for a weekend, somwhere with out distractions, lock the doorways, positioned on aim, and a dont disturb connect up the door knob. connect with one yet another bodily back. circulate to a spa weekend, yet make useful it has some relaxing stuff for him too. then you definately adult adult males will certainly prefer to "make love" to a minimum of one yet another, n no longer the wham, bam, stuff. additionally, ur used to being relied on, ur no longer used to in line with yet another man or woman. That makes one extremely much less complicated( no longer saying u r, yet submission is stressful for one in ur dilemma). no longer sayin ur incorrect the two. yet, I do think of he's merely under pressure too. it particularly is y i think of the strain loose weekend is a good suggestion. good luck.

Answer 19

i think you handled it appropriately,after awhile being with a freeloader gets old. when you marry someone its smart to choose someone who has Your same work ethic.

Answer 20

She's just going through a rough patch. She has social hangups but with love and support she can work through that. It depends do you want to put in the time and effort to help her get through this or not.