my fiance lied to me should i end it ????????

Question

we've been together for 5 months meant to get married in a year and a half ..and i just found out by one of my dad's friends that he is a cleaner ???????????

he told me he works for security when i first met him .. the fact that he is a cleaner doesn't bother me but it's just he lied !!!!!!!!

should i end it with him ????????


by the way he doesn't know i know yet so im going to talk to him tonight and make him tell me ...

Answer 1

You tell him how you did not appreciate the fact that he lied and lies always come out one way or another... tell him this better be the last time he lies to you, otherwise you are going ot have to end it. If you love him you owe to yourself to give hi m another chance and if he crosees that line again, then you know you did everything you could and he failed....

Answer 2

I wouldn't leave him for that. He probably doesn't want you to know what he does maybe because he's ashamed of it.. but with today's times, he should be very proud that he works at all.



I do think that getting engaged after only 5 months is too soon when obviously there's still much to learn.. even with a long engagement.



The engagement is not the time to talk about money, housing, children, goals and such.. all of this should be discussed before getting engaged.



I would hold off on getting married and take a little more time to get to know each other. I would definitely not be so angry about this until you find out why he lied.

Answer 3

I know it's not right that he lied to you but are you absolutely positive that your dad's friend is not the one who's mistaking? If he would have said he was a doctor or something, I could see the big problem but I don't see a big difference between the two jobs. Is it possible that he does both? I live in Canada and at our hospital they have all kinds of titles like sanitation engineer for janitor, etc. Maybe you should ask him questions about his job before a big confrontation. It's possible that he loves you so much that he didn't want to lose you by saying he was a cleaner. It doesn't make it right if he lied but for all I know, it could really be your father's friend who's wrong

Answer 4

To be honest, you can't trust him. If he lied to you about something like his job, which is a huge part of someones life, there's no telling what else he might lie to you about when you get married.



Talk to him tonight and make him tell you that he's really a cleaner, don't fall into his trap though. And by that I mean he'll try to sweet talk you and tell you he lied to you for the right reasons. But in all honesty, there's no lie in the world that could ever be right.

Answer 5

I wouldn't end it. I would just talk to him about it cause he was probably nervous or embarrassed to tel you he is a cleaner and not a security guard.I wouldn't leave him over something like that. It shouldn't matter what somebody does for a living when you are gonna be getting married to the guy. If that was the case I would have never married my husband cause he was getting paid to take care of his grandfather! At the time I was a PCA worker too. So it shouldn't matter what he does for a living.

Answer 6

I'm sure there are a lot of things you don't know about him and vise versa, only being together for 5 months. I'm with you with him being a cleaner not being that big of a deal but if he did lie about it what else is lying about? I think you should take it step by step with him now, holding off the marriage until you really know this man. Good luck with the talk, I wouldn't hide it from him that you know, thats your right being his future wife, I would stress to him the trust that he has just broken over something so minor. You, yourself should decide if this is something and someone worth spending the rest of your life with.

Answer 7

Huge red flag! Call off the wedding! If he treats you like this now, he'll be much worse when he's married. Find a good man you can trust. You dodged a bullet by finding this out now. A man isn't out at 3:00 for good reasons, and he's not talking to a 'friend' either. Wow. I'd kick him to the curb. He doesn't deserve you.

Answer 8

Ok you love him right, and he loves you and your going to be spending the rest of your lives together...

I dont think a little thing like this should spoil your relationship, something like his already married or his seeing somebody else then yes you should end it...

But maybe his told you he has a diffrent job because being a cleaner is a womans job really and he may want to look better infront of you...

Just tell him you know and let him know you was hurt about him lying.. your in a relationship you should be able to talk to him about your feelings...





I hope iv helped x

Answer 9

How shallow are you? Leave him because of something that trivial. My god I thought I'd hear about another girl or a secret child. lol! Guys are very prideful by nature and maybe he just insn't ready to see the look on your face when he says "Hey baby, I'm a janitor" not nearly as appealing as a sequrity guard. Although we women can love a man no matter what he does They can feel less worthy even if it is caused by a job. This is so small let him bring it to you when he feels he can, because judging by your response here I don't blame him for lying. Maybe you made him feel he had to. 5 months is a very young relationship, don't push to hard.

Answer 10

Look when he first met you he didn't know it was going to turn serious and it's clearly obvious why he lied. He is embarrassed about his job and is probably dreading the day you find out. Yes he shouldn't have lied but if he hasn't with anything else then cut the guy some slack. He will probably be relieved now you know after he's got over the embarrassment. Least he gets off his ar*e and works whatever it is.

Answer 11

i understand that he lied to you but i'm sure he thought it may bother you and he was embaressed! ovbiously you are holding that to an excuse bc if you truly loved him you wouldnt care if he worked at mc donalds!! Im sure you can understand why he hid it! Also if you dnt knw what work he really does and you are too marry him?! Ha people like you make me sick! you take marriage as a joke! Why dont you try to get to know one another before you rush into marriage then maybe the chances of it lasting will improve!!

Answer 12

surprise surprise.



his a cleaner- with the current situation were all in.

ill congratulate him for even having a job.



im 19 years old- on track- full time university student looking around for a job cant seem to find one.



coming back to your question the ladies have one problem. this problem is coming to conclusions without thinking.



talk to him- if he confesses that indeed you are right and he lied.

see the way he says it, body language- the way he says it from there judge if you want to live with this guy any longer.



has he lied before, if not you may be wrong.

Answer 13

no u should not leave him because some time men lie when the like or love a girl n dont think girls will go out with thembecause of the y life style, job or how the life style, u should tell him that u did not likethat he lied 2 u n ask him not 2 lie again.

Answer 14

He's probally ashamed of his job... being a cleaner is mainly for woman and he's probally embarrassed about it...

My ex done that he lied to me he said he worked in an office when really he worked as a warehouse cleaner and him lying to me really annoyed me too! but i guess it doesnt seem to be very 'man-ly' of them to have a female job

Tell him that you know in a calm way and dont show him that your annnoyed just be civil about it... he'll open up to you and will tell you the real reason why

Answer 15

I dunno whether you should end it, only u can decide that, u need to speak to him and ask him why he has lied, and I would probably say, he only said it, cos he was embarrassed about what is job was, and the longer he lied, the harder it was for him to come clean (sorry no pun intended lol) about it. I know hes lied, and they say a lie is a lie however big or small it is, but its up to u whether u give him another chance, and decide if u can trust him from now on

Answer 16

Wait... You get engaged to a guy that you'll only known for 5 months? You don't even know what he does for a living but you are willing to spend your whole life with him?!?!



Well honestly that's what the engagement is for; good thinking make it a whole year and 1/2, now you know... either you two can work passed it or you can dump him.

Answer 17

erm..No. There are worst thing then lieing about a job but its kind of rushing into marriage dont you think? You've been together for 5 months and your getting married? Whats the rush? Just shows your not ready for marriage. He cant even tell you his real job? Weird relationship.

Answer 18

maybe he didn't think that you would want to be with him if you knew but i can see where the lien would worry you because after this he could continue lien about other things and he could already be lien about other things but if you ask him and he tells you the truth from the start give him another chance but if he continues to lie tell him that you are gonna stop by his job tomorrow and see what he says once you settle this follow your heart because only you know whats best for you and i know that leaving him is hard but if that's what you feel as if you need to do then do it because you don't need a man that's going to lie to you because you are better than that

Answer 19

You barely know this man that you are about to marry...why don't you take some more time and get to know him, before you commit to marrying him? Maybe five months isn't really enough time..



Don't be so fast to end it, take some more time and get to know him. Then you will know if you want to go through with it or not...



Good Luck.

Answer 20

I don't think you should end it, when I first got with my husband he lied to me and said he was only a few years older but ended up being 9 years, he lied because he thought if i knew I wouldn't of got with him its probably he same with your boyfriend he felt you may be would have felt different towards him if you knew from the start of the relationship and wouldn't of like him, basically he felt ashamed of his job and couldn't say

Answer 21

the dude has an honorable job, he is a contributing, productive member of society, he provides a service to his community. he has nothing at all to be ashamed of [like the owner of a strip club or something]

too bad he felt he couldn't be honest with you, too bad he felt embaressed. as your fiance you should build him up with words,

he works, he doesn't sit around collecting free money like some bum.

if you would dump him then you're not the girl for him.

Answer 22

I'm sure he lied bc he was embarrassed to tell you he was a cleaner, I'm sure he didn't do it to hurt you. I would sit down with him and tell he that you don't care what profession he has, as long as he doesn't lie and is a good man. But no I would leave him over that.

Answer 23

Maybe he's a security guard that has to clean. When you see him tonight ask him exactly what he does but not in accusatory way. There's a chance that your dad's friend's information is incorrect and that your b/f didn't lie so don't judge yet.

Answer 24

I'd end it. Engaged after 5 months? Yikes. You should always date someone for all 4 seasons before you even think of getting engaged. People usually plan every detail of their wedding but rarely plan the marriage. You already learned something big. He is a liar and doesn't trust you with the truth.

Answer 25

I am sure he only lied to you because he felt insecure about his job title. No, I wouldn't end it..but you do need to let him know that lying is no way to start a relationship and keep the trust in the relationship. Just let him know that will let this one go..but in the future it is very important that you have complete honesty. Don't attack him when you comfront...just so he doesn't feel stupid, you know? Men don't take that to well, believe me...Also, let him know that he doesn't HAVE to lie to you..that you except him just the way he is.

Answer 26

Well firstly he was probably too embarrassed to tell you the truth. At least hes working so hes not a layabout. Id talk to him about lying to you but It doesnt seem like grounds to leave him. Or is it that you want to leave him and you are just looking for an excuse

Answer 27

Thats a big lie, especially for that long and he never came clean to you. How long were you with him not to know what he does.. Not sure if you should end it, but than again he's starting your lives together in a lie already.. thats a head scratcher =o

Answer 28

You sound very young.....



Maybe there was a reason he told you that. Find out all about it before you consider jumping ship, though, by the sound of things, you will be doing him a favor.



I bet you only tell him "little lies" and they are ok in your opinion......

Answer 29

Don't play games...Tell him what you know, and ask him why he lied. he may have been embarrassed to tell you what he did for a living. Seeing as you're getting married...maybe it's time for full disclosure! give him the space to tell you what you want to know. And no....you shouldn't end it because of this. Hope this helps...

Answer 30

Give him the opportunity to discuss it with you. If you feel you can let it go, then stay with him. Put the wedding on hold until you are sure you can forgive his lie.

Answer 31

End it now if he is lying about stuff like that it will only get worse.

Answer 32

he could have been in security when you first met him and then he got a new job. just ask him about it

Answer 33

Yeah he couldn't even come clean about his job, what else has he lied to you about.

Answer 34

Talk to him first. Ask why he did not want to admit it. There could be an underlining story to this.

Answer 35

He probably lied because he was embarrassed. Don't end it with him, work through it.

Answer 36

if he has lied to you now,he'll lie to you again..

Once they start lying,they don't stop.

Same goes with cheating: once a cheater,always a cheater.

Once a woman-beater,always a woman-beater.

Answer 37

End it ! as there will be lie after lie with that one..

Answer 38

i dont think you should. just talk to him about it.

Answer 39

Yes, you will never be able to trust him! Not to mention, you haven't known him long enough to even be engaged to him!