Can my wife get a restraining order on her ex-husband? ?

Question

First off, I’d like to mention that we live in Utah as I know the laws are different for every state and that my wife and her ex-husband have a 3 year old daughter together whom he has custody based on the minimum parent schedule in Utah. (Utah Code § 30-3-35.5). 

My wife's ex-husband was mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive during their relationship and started to become abusive to their daughter toward the end. It has recently come to light that when I'm not around, he has been making threats of harm to her and the child ranging from physical violence to threats of death. We don’t have any proof of the threats as of yet, but I’m working on getting it. I do however have text messages between him and I in which he said stuff like, “You can have sex with her any time you want even if she says no and she won't fight back. I did it all the time.” And, “You can beat the s*** out of her like I did and she won’t do anything about it.” And, “I’m going to convince her to kill herself.” (I’m paraphrasing, but it’s pretty close). I want to know if she can get a restraining order against him so that he is only able to talk to me. I fear for their safety and I want to do everything in my power to prevent them from coming to harm. I know we need to fight for full custody if we want to keep him away entirely, but I'm also afraid that he'll act on his threats if we do. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. 

Answer 1

I'd think she could get more than a restraining order based just on those texts to you, as they are an admission to how much violence he put her through. 

Answer 2

Your wife needs to get a lawyer to walk her through the steps of how to amass the needed evidence to file for an order of protection. That same attorney can represent her in family court because it sounds like this guy needs to lose shared custody and visitation (if not have his parental rights severed completely). You can be supportive of her on this but under the law you're an "uninvolved party" so this is something she's going to have to do for herself and her child. 

Answer 3

Not based upon his texts to you.  He isn't threatening her, just suggesting you can threaten her.  You will need direct evidence that he poses a threat to her or the child.



Another answerer suggested you ask the Police and to get a lawyer.  The suggestion to obtain legal counsel is a good idea, but don't rely upon the police for legal counsel. Others suggested reporting to CPS, but I will warn you that once you make such a report, CPS will be knocking on your door interrupting your lives as a result of a similar report made by him.  Good Luck.

Answer 4

Your question should be directed toward the police department where you live. Also, think about getting a lawyer, at least having a consultation. Emphasize documentation.  And if this doesn't resolve things, perhaps you ought to think about moving very far away from her ex. This is also a legal question, as it concerns taking his child out of state or beyond the geographic limit allowed.  But...Australia ought to do it....!

Answer 5

Record anything he says, pile up the proof, call CPS if the child is being mistreated, let them hear the proof, but do not give it to them. And if he threatens your wife, you go to the police and file the complaint.

Answer 6

If those texts aren't proof I don't know what is! Obviously you need to ask a lawyer where you live.

Answer 7

I would be straight down the police station in your position showing them the threatening text, and then onto social services to get the baby removed. THEN get the restraining order.