Bored with sex?

Question

Me and my Husband have been married almost 4 years dating almost 9... I love him... I find him attractive and all that. However, I have lately been feeling like sex is a chore. While doing it, i enjoy it... and all... but to get to doing it... I just don't want to. Any suggestions for me on what could be wrong and how to fix it?

Answer 1

Try to add some spice.

If you are looking for an adrenalin rush to be added try something slightly risky. My suggestions, a hand job under the table at a restaurant. Having sex in a semi public place. interstate rest area, a newly opened fast food place in the bathroom, On top of a rock face facing a public roadway. My wife and I have had sex on a backpack trail and had hikers pass us. The Adrenalin rush added to already great sex is mind blowing.

Well when wife and I travel by car.. At a U-haul dealer with our blanket in the back with the door open. Mall parking lot. At the Beach in the water with everyone watching. In a state park shower facility in the wee hours of the morning. In an empty church. On the hood of our car in the winter. Beside every state welcome sign. In my old tree house that I built as a kid. On the washing machine. At night in new car dealers lot on a new car. In a library study room and in a far corner in the stacks section. In my Lab at college were I worked. Fifth floor balcony at hotel on vacation 100's of times. Under bleachers in student section at college basketball game both home and away. We had alot of fun and took alot of chances.



Spice makes it less boring and the rush of doing it without getting caught.

Hope it helps.

Answer 2

Bored With Sex

Answer 3

I suppose you are not living in a comunity or a society where expression about sex is termed as bad thing, if that is so and even if that so you must discuss the same with your husbant. Keep these points in Mind:- 1. Either partener hesitate to discuss on the topic on a plea that it may feel bad to other. 2. Bedroom is the best place to discuss. Discuss the same with hubby. 3. There are so many safe ideas and positions to try aprt from being acrobatic. 4. Never let communication gap happens. 5. There is no substitute to a clean sex. I hope these suggestions if you try will solve your problem. Have a nice married life.

Answer 4

While sex is an important part of a relationship, it is not everything. As couples grow together, they find other ways to relate with their mate besides sex. So first, you may need some time together away from life itself (job, bills, etc.)



Try getting creative. Plan an evening of sex, however call each other throughout the day just teasing each other of what your going to do to each other. Play little sex games, role play, use toys together, watch porn together. These are just a list of things as I do not know what excites the two of you sexually. There is a book that you can pick up a book stores that help put adventure into a couples sex life. One book I can think of that I own is called 101 Nights of Great Sex.

Answer 5

Everyone goes through periods where they're less interested in sex. With everything that's going on - the baby, the move - it's not suprising that you aren't interested right now. Explain that your recent changes (and I presume you're tired too?) have temporarily made you less interested. Forcing yourself to have sex when you feel like this risks prolonging your lack of interest. Your body and mind need rest, your husband needs to respect that.

If your husband really can't cope for a month or two then maybe try and fit in one romantic night a week - plan it in advance and make sure you have a small glass of wine, some candlelight etc, maybe read a romantic scene in a book to get yourself in the mood.

I really hope everything settles down for you soon.

Answer 6

Absince makes the heart grown fonder. Take a long needed break from sex, A month or 2 at least. Then you'll realize just how much you love it. It's the consistancy of it that takes away the passion and desire. If you feel sex is a chore then it's not real love its an empty act. Real love making is with burning desire and passion for your partner otherwise it can just be lame. Might is suggest Tantra while your waiting?

Answer 7

The baby is what's done it. Are you breast-feeding? If so, it's your hormones. If not, maybe it's the added workload in taking care of the little one. It could even be subconscious issues about now being a "Mother" versus being a sexual being. Not many people can think of their own mothers as having sex, much less wanting it! How did your mother feel about sex - did you ever get the impression she felt like it was a chore? These impressions from childhood can get embedded in our brains and unless we can really confront them, we never can understand some of our own attitudes! Hope some of this has helped you! Good luck!

Answer 8

I experienced the same thing. Maybe your doing it always. Or your tired doing a lot of things thats why, you feel somewhat exhausted & bored when time for sex comes. Try some spacing, until you will find yourself missing it. & also, before engaging with sex, make sure you're not tired nor stress, so that there will be much appetite for it.

Answer 9

I like sex

Answer 10

Mismatched sex-drives is a major cause of relationships failing. A lot of people say that the partner with the higher drive should learn to do without, but that is rarely effective. What is often effective though is for the lower-drive partner to make a point of initiating relations once or twice a week. It increases their libido, and helps the high-drive partner to not feel rejected.

Answer 11

At the start of your relationship, there probably was electricity, passion, and sex. Years later, it may be a challenge to remember the last time you were naked together. To further rekindle desire, think outside the bedroom. Try recapturing the freshness of your early dating days by doing something different together, like maybe experimenting with different types of contact, like tickling and massage.

Answer 12

well adult stores have alot of fun things there to check out, and even candles, low love song music black lite, stars on the ceilings, lotions jel love motion things, feathers, handcuffs, body spray on the sheets, maybe a bubble bath together, to start out, body glitter, that you can eat there are all sort of things to spice things up for you, to make you feel sexy, and foreplay would be a must remember! maybe a few drinks role playing watch a movie oh ok now you come back on and and say you just had a baby what didnt you say anything before, because that is normal for women to feel that why and everyone was trying to help you out and now you say oh i just had a baby duh! it happens to alot of people no brainer

Answer 13

1

Answer 14

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Answer 18

there are two things which you never get bored,it is food and sex.like food you have to experiment varieties ,ways and chances everything possible to make it enjoyable.you never find it boring. try to make it more enjoyable by finding different ideas and methods.monotony makes you in trouble.you can..we do it even after 25 years of married life.2 times a day we are enjoying, if time and chance allows.still we enjoy as new couples..you can..it is a gods gift given to us ....equipment and ideas are with us..try to use it properly...

Answer 19

Sounds normal to me. At about four years, my wife said it felt like a chore, too. We've been married for 17 years, and I have completely given up. I don't even bother trying anymore.

Tell your husband to get pick up a hobby to occupy his time.

To me, cabinet making turned out to be much more enjoyable than being rejected by my wife.

Answer 20

does he know how to put you in the mood, maybe hes not trying hard enough. either way enjoying sex is as much your responsibility as is his . so be open to trying different things

Answer 21

i can't really tell you what could be wrong but you could try having him give you a relaxing massage or take you out and romance you. I'm not sure about your situation but i wish my husband would do that more.

Answer 22

You probably do the same things all the time? Try new things, different positions, different fore play, maybe something nasty like bondage or chocolate sauce, watch porn together. I think you are just getting bored of the same thing all the time.

;)

Answer 23

Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.

Answer 24

spice things a little bit with.. maybe a camcorder or a toy, or someone else that depends on your fantasies

Answer 25

Take a break -- stress reducing vacation is also good.

Answer 26

SET DOWN AND TALK TOO HIM ABOUT IT .TAKE YOUR TIME RELATE TO EACH OTHER FIND OUT IF THERE OTHER WAYS TO SPICE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE AND BRING BACK THE FIRE YOU NEVER NO IT COULD HAPPEN

Answer 27

wear the lingerie, do role play, and dont do it as often, make him miss it, along with yourself

Answer 28

you're married, that's why :-P

Answer 29

try a discreet affair for excitement

Answer 30

I could teach you a few things....

Answer 31

Imagine that he is me.