Matrimonial name changes...?

Question

I find this tradition really offensive. Women say they want to change their name to show commitment to their husbands. But what about their husband's commitment? Shouldn't they change their name too?

Please, I'd like to know why this tradition continues and how come more women aren't pissed off that this is expected from them?

Answer 1

I didn't change my name when I married, because I do think it's outdated. We have two children who have my husband's last name. What I find offensive is when they try to give you the first name, too, as in "Mrs. John Smith." For heavens' sake.

I don't know why this tradition has continued, but it is difficult to find a solution that is concise and clear. Either you have to explain and defend having a different name, or you have to adopt both, which gets pretty cumbersome.

Answer 2

I have been married and when I got divorced I kept his last name. It's the only thing he gave me out of the whole thing. I'm now seeing someone else and I would love to have his lastname. Maybe I'm traditional. I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like you have to change your name. It's a personal decission. You seem like a femanist to me so why not let women make up their own mind about it and be happy for them instead of being pissed about it.

This tradition comes from the Bible (as well as marriage) so if you find the name change offensive then maybe you find the idea of marriage offensive as well.

Answer 3

I agree to a degree. I do not find it offensive, just outdated. Women do NOT have to change their name. When I married my current - last - husband, the pastor asked me if I was going to take my husband's last name. I said yes as I had also taken my first husband's last name and no longer desired to carry that burden. We later discussed it and thought that we should have said no, we do not wish to take any last name and just be known by our first names. We never did find out if we could do that!

Answer 4

Most people simply feel comfortable with tradition, but there's nothing saying that you absolutely have to.



In regards to what you said, I had a teacher in high school that, when he got married, he and his wife both took a common surname of their two previous last names hyphenated together, and the person whose name is first usually just goes by what sounds better to them...

Answer 5

1

Answer 6

if you don't want to take his name don't.