Question:
has anyone marraige survived the "divorce talk"?
Keri
2012-05-17 08:44:36 UTC
-married 11 years with two kids(10,2)
-husband non-affectionate, no sex, no communication
-has cheated, gawks at every woman passing
-hangs out at clubs on the weekend til 4 in the morning
-says he is no longer attracted to me
-i beg for $ex and affection

IS THIS GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE...SHOULD I GIVE UP HOPE?
Eleven answers:
2012-05-17 08:48:02 UTC
My marriage survived a few divorce talks. 21 years and still going. However, we had none of these issues.



This one is over.
2012-05-19 18:03:01 UTC
I don't know if you HAVE to divorce, but it's definitely signs that you need at least to get some help. This is from an article that will help:



"You must forgive my morbid analogy, but marital problems are like cancer. The earlier you detect it and treat it, the more chances you have to beat it and survive.



Marriage problems are the same. If you address your problems early on and solve them on time, you dramatically increase the survival chances of your relationship. If you put it off and wait for the problems disappear on their own, don’t be surprised to be heading straight to divorce.



o be aware to your relationship troubles is not enough. It’s like knowing that you have cancer and not do anything about it. And you can’t do it alone; you need outside help – Professional help.

6 Signs That You Need Couples Counseling Right Now



This is a list of the most dangerous marital problems; those that left unsolved will most likely end your marriage. If you have one or more of these problems, it’s time to seek some kind of marriage counseling, or couples therapy – Right now.

Sign #1 – Lack of Communication and Support



Two recent studies, published in the American Journal of Family Psychology, found that couples who went on to divorce were more likely to be poorer communicators, and tended to display more negative emotions and support mechanisms than people who stayed married.



For example, the couples who went on to divorce were more likely to use blame and invalidation in their communication efforts. They were more likely to discourage a spouse from expressing his or her feelings, and to display “inappropriate pessimism.” Husbands who were more verbally aggressive early on were also more likely to be part of couples who went on to divorce later. (Source is here)



No problem in a marriage can be solved without open, honest communication. Lack of personal, intimate exchange in a marriage is a very bad sign.



Sign#2 – Marriage Resembles a Battlefield...



Keep reading at the source...
2012-05-19 05:39:21 UTC
Yes, we kind of survived the divorce talk about a month ago...but I ended up going to counselling alone. I think this is on the horizon for us anyway because both people have to be willing to find solutions and fix problems that can be fixed.
2012-05-17 15:51:33 UTC
You should not have to beg for anything from the father of your children. Life is very short and for your own emotional and sexual health I suggest calling a lawyer and beginning the process of a legal separation. Perhaps a physical separation will pull things into perspective for you both. It is difficult to see the forest when surrounded by so many trees. Separation allows you to leave the forest and look at it from a distance to determine how best to proceed.
Kaia
2012-05-17 17:41:07 UTC
If you're unhappy, then get counseling, get divorced or put up with it. The choice is yours.



As to surviving the "divorce talk"....only if it shakes you up enough that you both decide to do the counseling.
2012-05-17 15:53:47 UTC
Most people today do not stay married until death do them part. Modern marriage has a shelf life which for most people is 10, 15 or 20 years if they last that long or half that long.
2012-05-17 15:53:45 UTC
Why would you want to stay with him? He is an *** who isn't treating you right or giving you the love you deserve. Get a divorce, move on and be happy.
No More Abuse
2012-05-17 15:46:51 UTC
If you are unhappy in your marriage, tried marriage counseling and other ways of saving the marriage and nothing has worked, then you would decide to take the next step, divorce.
?
2012-05-17 16:04:19 UTC
Give him the option.



Tell him that if he wants to salvage this marriage he needs to go into couples counseling with you ASAP. If he says no, then you have your answer.
Erika
2012-05-17 17:10:23 UTC
I think its over
Lucy
2012-05-17 15:46:32 UTC
Im sorry hun, but yes.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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