My wife uses myspace to look for exboyfriends. Why does that bother me so much?

Question

My wife is obsessed with other people's lives. She constantly watches reality television and looks at myspace videos online. Looks for people she knows or know her. Its like thats all she does. It makes me ill. What can I do? Just accept it. I dont think she would like it if I did that. Its BS im just pissed cause her entire down time in life is MTV, VH1, and MYSPACE.

Answer 1

The way I see it, you can do a couple things:

1. Tell her it bothers you

2. Do they same thing to her

3. Accept it



Either way these actions have consequences... so think it through before you do anything rush.

Answer 2

Your wife sounds very immature to me. Does she have a job? Do you have children? Does she take good care of the house? Cook real meals? You do not have to "just accept" her behavior. This is not the proper behavior for a married woman!! She needs to have a reality check and these silly TV shows and myspace videos are not in the same hemisphere as reality. Have a calm discussion with her about how looking for ex's bothers you and why. She sounds like a kid. She may need to find more to keep her busy on important things so she'll not be bored and have to find entertainment from others. Do you spend enough time with her...or does she even let you?

Answer 3

I am a wife with a myspace too. I have found some people from my past too. At first my husband didn't like it then I suggested that he got one to see what I was really doing. I am doing nothing wrong. Your wife is probably doing nothing wrong either just trying to have fun and find people.



Another thing is that maybe the people on myspace are giving her the attention that she wants....or needs. I felt like that for awhile. Talk to her, tell her how you are feeling. I have cut back on my computer time and now my husband is giving me extra time.......we both needed it. But we didn't realize it till we really drifted apart.



Tell her what's up so she can understand. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Most people like that are unhappy or unfulfilled with their own lives. In the first place you have to talk to her. There is no way she as a married women should be looking up old boyfriends on Myspace. WTF dude? ...You are her husband...you should certainly be able to show your disdain for that. As for the rest - as I said - unhappy people enjoy watching other people's lives play out ...that is why reality tv is doing so well. Does she enjoy her job or career..her life? Does she have hobbies and skills she is proud of and enjoys doing. Friends that she can do things with in addition to her time with you? If her life would be rich in these things I've mentioned, then her self-esteem and confidence level would be up - and other peoples lives would not be such a curoisity to her. I think watching a reality tv show from time to time or enjoying one or two on a regular basis is not really a biggie - but if that is all she watches and she truly is obsessed - then there's a problem.

Answer 5

I think that you are more bothered that she is not spending enough time with you. You feel neglected . Maybe you are a little worried that she is going to stray , because you feel that she is not as interested in you as her partner. It is good to keep personal interests while in a relationships, isn't that part of why you fell in love in the first place. I would try to express to her in a non -threatening way that you miss her attention. You could try and take a proactive approach. Offer to take her out on a date...yes it helps even in committed relationships. It can be possibly to to a movie, museum, band , nice dinner , just something to get you two out of the house and attentions focused on each other. You could just stay home , turn off the t.v. , send the kids to a sitter , play some soft and romantic music, and have a candle-lite dinner. If you don't cook it's fine, just order a nice dinner from your favorite place and pick them up to go. Even have linens on the table, and her favorite flowers maybe. Surprise her. Let her know that you still love her and don't take her for granted. She will be so flattered that you took the time to set all of this up.

Answer 6

do you think of yourself as a good husband? what about a mature husband? now do think of her as a mature wife? do you think of her as a good wife,besides the MTV VHF1 and my space. you think only if she stop it. well it sounds like maybe you should take her out more? not a movie or dinning . like a concert, live shows. and har and you to read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger you can get this book in most book stores it's easy reading and Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships by Dr. Laura and if she looking up old boyfriends please get these books . while she on my space go to the book store on your own don't let her know tell her your going to the store to buy something and you'll be right back. she may get mad at first and say she won't read them oh well you read them and also she wrote a other book Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives oh she wrote lot of good books I like them and easy reading. and very to the point and easy to understand. please get them before you end up in divorce court.

Answer 7

Sounds like she needs to get out of the house, get a hobby, take a vaca with her husband, get back to living her own life really. Get her to check back in, something is making her want to check out of her own life. Maybe she's bored. get her interested in her own life again. That's all I can say. Good luck.

Answer 8

Tell her. She is neglecting her own life to keep tabs on everyone elses. As far as looking for ex's that is BS and you should be pissed.

Answer 9

I can understand that she maybe wants to look for people she knows but I thinks its well unfair on you looking for ex boyfriends. I wouldnt do that to my boyfriend as I have too much respect for him as I know he wouldnt like it. If she thinks youre ok about it, you cant blame her, but if you tell her you dont like it and she continues to do it then she needs to sort herself out. No offense but it sounds like you both maybe need to get out more and do some stuff together.

Answer 10

Maybe the relationship is getting to dull for her and needs something more. tell her how you feel best things ever is to be open and say whats on your mind...if she gets made then you know there a problem

Answer 11

i used to be just like that and it drove my bf nuts! wenever she goes off to the computer or sits in front of the tv, give her a reason to come over to you! cook for her, make your bedroom a romantic getaway place, and she'll forget why she even went on the computer! remember, she's YOUR wife, just preoccupy her with stuff to do with you! you could even buy board games to play with her...possibly strip twister!

Answer 12

It stinks, but how often do you ask her out to dinner or for a drive to get out of the house? You may be surprised at how delighted she'd be to get away from it all for awhile

Answer 13

She needs to unplug. Get rid of the computer! Spill some water on it or something.

Answer 14

¿What did you get married for? Certainly there were qualities that she possessed that attracted you to her. ¿What changed? ¿How have you behaved to cause that change? Once you realize that only you can influence your own actions you are on the path to solving your problem. You can not change how other people view life.

Answer 15

Just tell her how you feel...don't force her to stop...if she understand how you're feeling she'll stop on her own

I am the same as her....I'm also obsessed with other people's lives o.o -they're always more interesting than mine....you should take her out more...

Answer 16

You know, talk to her, but a brighter thought is... she is probably trying to find them and make them jealous that she found someone as wonderful as you are....



But I think regardless of the intention, it's not a nice thing to do~ Please do talk to her ~

Answer 17

Why did you marry her? She must have some redeeming qualities for you to tolerate such stupid s**t. Focus on the positives, and ignore the stupid stuff.

Answer 18

GET RID OF THE COMPUTER OR CUT THE CABLES because its unfair on you.

Answer 19

i think she needs counseling. if she loves you who cares about her ex's? you need to let her know you think its unaccptable

Answer 20

she seems insecure and may want to find something better to do..

Answer 21

i think you\'re a little frustrated for not giving you more atention



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