any way to get your wife to calm down if turning 30 and her biological clock is going nuts?

Question

we have 3 kids already from former relationships and she's turning thirty. as tough as our first year of marriage was trying to blend a family she wants another one. No way. not right now. too much crap going on. she won't listen and is nuts and totally illogical but i'm standing my ground for not only a possible unborn child but for the other kids who's lives will be turned upside down if we had another one right now. when will her clock stop and how can I squash it and replace it with life saving logic?

Answer 1

My husband and I have a blended family. We had "our" child together when I turned 38, so that clock will tick for quite a while yet. Suggest that the two of you wait a while to work on the marriage you have now and save the discussion of having another child for the future. Either of you may change your minds to the other's way of thinking in the next two or three years. I have found that pushing an issue just causes more problems in the long run. What will happen should happen as a natural course or after long thoughtful discussions between the two of you.

Answer 2

I hope you can prevent another child from arriving. Can you explain the rationale with finances as one issue and time as another? Isn't she busy enough? I know- have her read the issues and questions on this site of all the blended family questions I have seen. People are very upset. Good luck as I dont see her clock 'stopping' any year soon.

Answer 3

Her clock "stopped" the moment she had children period. It sounds like she wants to use a baby for some kind of security reason with this relationship. Stick to your guns but listen to her arguments. It sounds like you are just not on the same page when it comes to being practical. Explain to her that you think your house is in too much turmoil and give her solid examples. If you are in charge of the finances, sit down with her and explain what's going on there. Most of all, reassure her that you are secure in your relationship and that not having a baby wont make you any less hers. Women tend to base decisions on emotions, not logic. Look for the emotional reasons not to have a kid right now and get on her level.



Good luck :)

Answer 4

I basically became 30 (Friday thirteenth). I drove my husband loopy!! Turning 30 ability which you're leaving your 20's in the back of and it incredibly is all down hill from right here. It became into heartbreaking. no longer having little ones and turning 30 is in all danger much extra stable on her. basically Be There for her. enable her understand you will continually be there if she desires you and which you like her. consult along with her, tell her the way you experience. in case you're dealing with alot of stressful circumstances precise now clarify this to her. Ask her if it would be basic to the toddler to conflict with you or to have the skill to be safeguard and wait. I understand that there incredibly is not any such component as being good sufficient. would not it incredibly is astounding to end extra after that have somewhat one? clarify, talk, Be Compassionate. basically bear in strategies it incredibly is nevertheless relaxing to prepare!

Answer 5

I DOT KNOW HOW OLD SHE WANT TO BE GIVING BIRTH BUT FOR ME I TIED THE TUBES AFTER 3 AT THE AGE OF 24 BUT I HAVE FRINEDS WHO HAD BABYS UP INTO THEIR 40S AND 50S BUT I DIDNT WANT ANY AFTER 30 MY MOM AND DAD HAD MY LIL SIS ATHE THE AGE OF 31 AND 33 AND WHEN ME AND OUR MIDDLE SIS GOT MARRIED SHE WAS JUST IN GRAD SCHOOL IM 47 NOW ALL MY BOS ARE GROWN WITH FLYS OF THEIR OWN AND ME AND HUBBY ARE LOVING IT WE HAVE TIME ALONE AND ENJOY IT WE KEEP THE GRAND BAYS EVER OTHER WEEKEND OR SO ANDENJOY THAT OO BUT GET TO SEND THEM HOME TO DAD AND MOM !

Answer 6

I don't know that you can do anything to 'stop' it, but you need to stand your ground, because apparently you're the only one who's thinking logically. Don't cave in just to make her happy--not over something this important.

Answer 7

i believe you are being alittle dramatic. she is only 30. she is young and wants a kid with you!! you should be happy. i realize the timing might not be right but i think you should just talk to her and if she starts going crazy you need to tell her to stop acting like a child herself. be firm with her but dont be rude. she will calm down evetually so just wait it out try going out and play golf or whatever you older guys do. just give her time to think it all over.



good luck

Answer 8

don't pay attention to Reckless. some female really screwed him over. poor guy. if she has kids already...the it's not her biological clock ticking. she just want another baby. you seem to want to wait. give her a timeline. make goals for her and yourself to complete before you two attempt to have another baby. this gives her something to do until then. something to work for. it helps.

Answer 9

maybe the real issue here is somehting totally different. seems to me, that she may be feeling insecure about something else. perhaps your relationship. shower her with love, you can't go wrong! mabye the baby issue will work itself out. shower her with love!

Answer 10

First of all you need to get out of this marriage pronto. Everything you've just said screams red flag. First of all, you've mentioned that she has children from another relationship. So basically you're using money that could go toward you and your children to take care of another man's issue. Think about that for a second.



Second, you're running a serious risk of being set up for paternity fraud:



http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2007/02/18/30-percent-of-paternity-claims-are-false/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldnetdaily.com%2Fnews%2Farticle.asp%3FARTICLE_ID%3D48871&frame=true



Check it out: false paternity hovers around 30 percent in marriages. Any child your wife has while you're married has a 1 in 3 chance of not being yours. Think about that for a minute: you could pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a child that IS NOT YOURS. Oh wait, another child that isn't yours. If there was a casino where you stood a 1/3rd chance of losing everything you own would you would you even go? And as you've said her biological clock is already ticking, chances are she's more likely to try to use paternity fraud on you.



That's IF she isn't just trying to set you up for paternity payments. If you've lived with her for a year then in a lot of states that constitutes standard of living, and you have to pay to maintain that and for any kids she may have from any other relationship, EVEN IF THEY ARENT YOURS.



Divorce...you're equally screwed in that. Take a look at these numbers.



http://www.fathersforlife.org/fv/DV_news_letter_980130.htm



* 79.6% of custodial mothers receive a support award

* 29.9% of custodial fathers receive a support award.

* 46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support.

* 26.9% of non-custodial fathers totally default on support.

* 20.0% of non-custodial mothers pay support at some level

* 61.0% of non-custodial fathers pay support at some level

* 66.2% of single custodial mothers work less than full time.

* 10.2% of single custodial fathers work less than full time.

* 7.0% of single custodial mothers work more than 44 hours weekly.

* 24.5% of single custodial fathers work more that 44 hours weekly.

* 46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.

* 20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance.





Yeah, just in the act of getting divorced she has an advantage on you, which was probably her plan the whole time. How likely is this:



http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/divorce.html



You stand at least a 50% chance of getting a divorce, even higher since you've both been in relationships before. And 2/3rds of the time the divorce is initiated by the woman.



Didn't you say your wife was acting crazy? Didn't you say she was unhappy? What do you think the chances are that your wife is either a) going to pop up with a bun in the oven one day and claim it's yours, or b) just up and decide she's going to cash out of your relationship now, get paid, and have a baby with another man?



My suggestion to you is to start speaking to male divorce lawyers who don't work for women. Get your assets covered and your affairs in order. You will be dealing with a divorce or an unexpected pregnancy in several months, believe that. Google "Men's Rights Activism", and look out for sites that protect men's rights and debunk feminist-socialist bullshit. You are in bad straits right now, but brothers are standing by ready to help.

Answer 11

I feel for you brother, good luck and start saving diaper coupons.

Answer 12

Maybe this is what drove her other husband away, or turned him into an animal? I dare you to mention that.