During a separation, why is the wife considered a whore if she chose to see other men?

Question

If a couple is separated, living in separate homes, still love each other so neither wants a divorce, then why is the "woman" always judged and looked down on. And if the husband/guy sleeps around it's ok, he's single. My situation, he wants to see other people, and wanted a kinky s*x life (reckless meaningless s*x, 3somes, and to be a swinger) I wasn't in that life style. I love the monogamous "conventional" marriage. But the lack of attention he gives is pretty much forcing me to want to see other men. I do love him, but don't want to force him back into our marriage. That's how things ended up they way they are now; him not being totally ready So am I wrong, I need companionship and affection too. After all that's why I got married? How do I conver to his "single" but "married" life when my nature cause me to be "married" and unhappy living the "single" once a week gf life style. I have all kinds of nice guys tearing my door down to praise me, but my heart is still with my husband. And to add kids in the mix, makes it that much harder!! He is a wonderful man, other than him loving a variety of woman. I just can't phantom the idea of sharing him. and then to throw STD's in is like eewwhh.

Answer 1

No one said it's ok for a guy to do that. They get called male whores, players, cheaters, etc.



Don't be bringing another man into this mess until you've finished up your business. If your heart is still with your ex, it really wouldn't be right to have another man fall in love with you, and you unable to return that love. Get counseling, finalize the divorce, and work on yourself and your children. Make you and them the best you all can be.



Right now your judgment is clouded. There may be men tearing down your door, but they aren't decent men. Decent men don't go for women who are still married. They find women who are completely single and available for marriage.

Answer 2

Hon, time to get yourself over to an attorney and get the divorce paperwork in motion.



Sweetie - this man does not want the same thing out of this marriage that you do and do NOT let anyone persuade you that you are doing the wrong thing by ending this. You are not giving up on your marriage because he did a LONG time ago.



You deserve better than this. He is not marriage material and you should be with a guy that wants the same committment-oriented lifestyle that you do.



Good luck and Godspeed, sweetie!

Answer 3

I think the writing is on the wall here. Time to accept the marriage is over since your lifestyles are very, very different. Find yourself a nice man who is also monogamous and doesn't need to be into risky sex for kicks.

Answer 4

Because she is **** head

Answer 5

Work together to save your marriage. he neds to give and sacrifice and you need to as well. Compromise is a start, but a common goal is key. Seek counseling for the two of you. Good luck.

Answer 6

There is that good old double standard thing that goes on with situations like this, but all-in-all, you are BOTH committing adultery when you sleep with someone else while you are still legally married.

Answer 7

Sounds like it's time to MOVE on...



You cannot change someone. But you can change how YOU deal with them and what you are willing to accept.



Quit accepting his excuses....He is just another loser who no longer knows how to focus on his family..

Answer 8

because they are still married so if she is with other men then she is a cheating whore, just like the guy would be a cheating scumbag