why do men look elsehwhere, but say they are happy. Online looking for big titties, caught jerking off?!!?

Question

We have been together for about 1 1/2 years, lived together for 1 year. He tell me he is so happy, I motivate him. I noticed when we first met he had a collection of pics a lot of fat women, dark skinned women, and big huge boobs. Like size E and etc. I am a caramel complected slim muscular build, size 36 A small. None of the women he has ever dated look like me. He says I'm all he wants. I found a video of him having sex with someone before we got serious, but while we were intimate. He still had this video saved and tried to hide it in his e-mails. I also caught him in another bedroom jerking off. He says he was looking at picture of me. I know he was lying. I complained that all he has on FB is strippers and fat nasty women, so he started adding only family, puts a lot of pic of me on FB. On IG not one pic of me. He has our dog, his aunt, recent pics i snapped, but zero of me. He also is following his exes and likes their posts often all on ig where I rarely use. He works sometimes for 6 pm- 6am. He works with a young lady. I noticed he like her posts daily, and I mean pics of her assets, and post about oral sex, he is commenting and liking. Also all of the like are fat women with super big breasts. I feel like i'm not what he really wants. He says i'm over reacting. He downloads the app phones and then deletes them. I catch him once he says he won't do it again, he just tries to hide it better. He likes ratchet and I'm a queen. How do I compete? Should I even keep trying?

Answer 1

You don't compete...



You say they are ratchets, which I'm not sure what that means, but I'm assuming it's the same as a uk version of a skanky chav ...



If that's the case why the hell would you want to even try to compete, don't lower yourself to that level ...



Men are weird, ( no offence guys ) we will never understand them, loads of guys have wife's with big boobs but actually prefer small boobs, but they fell in love with that woman for who she is not boob size...but it doesn't mean they are going to stop liking small boobs they will still enjoy looking, but that's as far as it will go...if you weren't enough for him, he wouldn't just be looking, he would doing with these girls...don't you think big girls feel the same when there husband are constantly watching slim girls....men don't understand how women are body conscious...



Is it such a big deal that you caught him jerking off, i mean be honest don't you masturbate, it's not something women are as open about like men, but we all do it...possibly more than guys do lol....



He is not going to change so maybe its worth finding someone who worships you..I would of left his *** the minute I found the sex tape with his ex, not an image you want burnt into your head, a man who respected you would not want you to find that, why would he want the memory when he's started a new life with you

Answer 2

All men masturbate, and they usually masturbate to what they don't have. If you have small breasts, he'll masturbate to women with huge boobs. If you're light-skinned, he'll masturbate to dark-skinned women. If you had big breasts, he'd masturbate to women with tiny boobies. It's the nature of the beast!

Answer 3

Dear Maya,



Would he be open to attending a marital enrichment seminar ? Tell him how much you are hurt by what he does and how it makes you feel. He needs to want to change so you can become comfortable in your relationship with him.



Best wishes,



Anthony

Answer 4

He has a sex (porn) addiction. This addiction has already ruined his relationship with you. Drop him before it gets worse.

Answer 5

Well if you really do look the way that you described in ur question then you should have no problem leavin his *** and finding someone that deserves to be with you and that is good enough for you. At least better than this bum ur with. All of the **** you listed sounds like you know what's up, ur just in denial for some reason. Alot of men and women like to say that they are strong, independent, and all that. But in reality they're self conscious, no self esteem or self worth. Also, people are creatures of habit. We don't like change. So living with someone for a year is gonna be hard for many st people to walk away from. He's probably staying with you in case **** don't work out for him he's always got you to fall back onto. Also, what's the money/living situation? If he's being a sponge just cut him lose. He's probably messin with girls like that so he can prey on their insecurities. He most likely did it with you. We're all insecure at some point in our lives.

Answer 6

Cut him loose you deserve better.

Answer 7

You knew this about him when you first met. You should always listen to those warning bells!

Answer 8

Yeah men are always happy with the online even they had the gf. He kept photos and videos of nude girls and tried to hide through LEO Safeguard so their gf can't know about it.

Answer 9

None of us can answer this specific question besides you.

Answer 10

that was a messy read