Is it too early in a relationship to be thinking about marriage (within a couple years) after only 4 months?

Question

Okay so here is the deal, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now. We started going out kinda randomly but immediately fell in love. It was one of those – hang out and stay up all night talking experiences - for one really amazing couple of weeks. We quickly discovered how much our goals and identities were similar and complimentary. I love her with all of my heart and soul (not to be cliché) but I know she is the one for me. I am 20 and recently we have been talking about how much we love each other and how we want to spend the rest of our lives together, talking about a proposal as early as a year from now (our senior year at college). She is gong to study abroad for the next 4 months. Do you think we are getting ahead of ourselves or do you think that since we are so deeply in love this kind of talk and looking forward to the future is okay? Say what you feel I want to hear some comments. Thanks

Answer 1

I think that it is definitely possible that she is the one for you, but I would not rush into a proposal. Since you love her so much and are sure she's the one, why not wait at least until she gets back from studying abroad. It would be safer to do this, just in case. Not to sound horrible or anything, but I too have felt like you are feeling right now. I am still with my boyfriend, but we have broken up twice, and I never thought that that would happen. I know you think she is the one, but either way, I think it would be good to just give it a bit more time. It's not too early to think about marriage (why would you want to be with someone who you couldn't see yourself marrying?), but I think it's definitely wise to wait and see how things go. If you're right and she is the one, congratulations! But if it turns out that you're not sure about things after 4 months, you'll be happy you waited. Good luck!!

Answer 2

Nope, it is a great time to think about marriage. I was 23 and my wife was 21, and sure people freak out that you're too young but hey they really have no good reason for you not to get married besides the fact that they want to relive their youth through you. To those that get married at 30+, I think that is sad. You gave up 5-10 years that could have been spent together with the one you love. You should be courting to be married, why would you just waste your years away with someone that isn't marriage material. If you are thinking about marriage at 4 months that's great. If you spend all your time with this person, and I mean ALLOT of time, then propose and get things solidified for marriage. I've been happily married for 8 years come this August and my wife and I courted, dated, engaged and married all within 6 months. Granted we spent almost every waking hour with each other and we both shared the same faith/religion (<-- that is very important, if you're mixed faiths that is a huge obstacle that will need to be tackled all throughout marriage even more so when you have kids. Infact I would not recommend marrying outside your faith, it is just going to be such a hard thing to deal with and I would break any relationship off in the case you couldn't share the same basic principles of faith\religion).



My parents were dating for 3 months until my dad proposed to my mom and they've been happily married for 30 years now.



Basically you better know that person in and out and the only way you're going to know them that way is spend all the time you can with them so you can see how their personality is in all sorts of situations (good and bad) and then you'll know if it is something you can live with.



And yeah, get your finances straight that is important of course. I was still in school when we got married and we pulled it off, it was hard work but it can be done.

Answer 3

Congratulations on finding such a great other half! I don't think it is too early to start THINKING about these things. As long as you are just thinking and not acting I think it is fine. I have had an awesome relationship with my husband since we went on our first date 8 years and 3 months ago! We only got engaged and married in 2006! We dated, then lived together and then got engaged and married. Getting married was really just finalizing our relationship together. For years we lived together and worked, went out and paid bills the same way we do now. Only my last name has changed! It took us a long time to take the final step because we only wanted to do it once! I think once you finish college the first step should be moving in together before getting married. Even get engaged, just don't tie the knot officially until you know, know, know it is going to work! Things are very different when you actually move in together! A LOT of adjusting! Good luck!

Answer 4

You are kind of jumping the gun. It takes time to really learn how to live with and love another person. And if you really want the best for both of you, you'll be less pressuring and choose to go slow. You have a good chance, so give it time for love to blossom. Spending lots of time together is a great thing. When she goes abroad, that'll be a test, to see how you deal with the long-distance equation. When she comes back, you may find out that the distance brought you closer. Just wait and think of what's best for both of you. Marriage is a big decision. Lots of people marry quickly only to divorce. Just focus on how happy you two are together now.

Answer 5

I think you're fine as far as thinking about marrying her, but it might be too soon. I agree with the person above me, be patient. You need to find out if she is really the one you are suppose to marry. You will find out that even though you both are very similar, no matter what, there will still be differences between the two of you, and this may cause argument, but that doesn't mean you can't still love each other and work through things. I think you might want to come off of cloud nine first and then think about getting married. The relationship and preparing for a wedding take a lot of hard work and it will be worth it, if you work through things.

Answer 6

Some things to think about before you get married...



With the divorce and family court system heavily tilted in favor of women, and with no-fault divorce - fathers are ripe for the financial picking.



The man all-too-often loses half or more of everything and is relegated to a visitor in his children's lives while being forced to pay high child support for many years to come. Mothers have the support and encouragement of the entire system to go for and get everything that they want in a divorce.



It's why women with children initiate divorce nearly 3/4 of the time in the U.S. It's why the divorce rate is hovering somewhere around the 50% rate. It's why women are awarded primary custody of the children more than 80% of the time.



The states get financial kickbacks from the federal government for child support collections, which is why the man most often is relegated to visitor status and made to pay CS through the state's enforcement division.



Follow the money and realize the great financial incentives which exist in the billion-dollar divorce industry (yes, it is an industry) and while the overwhelming majority of losers are fathers (and children).



No man in his right mind today should get married and have children. When you understand the depth of the fraud and corruption, you will see just how under siege fathers and families are in this country. Men and fathers really need to wake up and take meaningful action... young and old alike, and the women who love them, too. This is a societal issue that doesn't get the extreme attention it deserves.



I suggest that before you get married, you invest in and read the book by Dr. Stephen Baskerville called "Taken Into Custody." If you want to get married in this country after reading that, more power to you.

Answer 7

theres nothing wrong with feeling this way, especailly since you dont plan on proposing for another year. If your still together a year from now, go for it! If you cant wait that long to propose do it when you feel you are ready. Just have a long engagement. Also you might want to try living with her first before you two do get married. You wanna make sure the two of you can live together and deal with eachother's habits. I wish you the best and Good luck.

Answer 8

it's never too early to think about it but regardless of how soon you want to do it I would not ask untill you've been together atleast 1-1/2 years and atleast live together for 6 months so you can see how it's like to be around someone like that all the time and wake up with the same person everymorning. It realy is a lot eaisier and fun to just be with some one you love then to be married to some one It takes alot out of your relationship when your married you gain alot but you also loose alot so give it plenty of time and a long engagement.

Answer 9

Honestly, time isn't really even a factor anymore. so many people think that the longer they're together before marriage the longer their marriage will last and that's not at all true. i know people that were together for like 4 years and then married and they got divorced within a year or so but i also know of someone that was only together 6 months before marriage and they've been together for many years! so it all depends on how true your love is for that person and trust and honesty. a relationship can not last without trust or honesty! so if you and your girl truly trust each other and are 100% committed to one another than that's all that matters!

Answer 10

Ask her if she still feels the same after she studies abroad. She will be away from you and around lots of other hot foreign men while she is gone. Men love a girl with a different accent. If she still feels the same way when she gets back, go for it. I would wait until then tho. You don't want to spend all that money on a ring and them it fall through. Good luck!

Answer 11

No I don't think it is too early. There really is no equation to love. It is different for everyone. Personally, I think my boyfriend and I started talking about it after about 6 months. We can't really do anything because we work together. He is trying to get a new job (tough job market right now) and once he does then we will get married. If you feel that you are making the right decision, I don't think it is too early. Maybe talk to your parents about it, too.

Answer 12

I've done a lot of reading in regards to this and the only suggestion I can give you is to wait 2 years before getting even engaged. The (love/lust) feelings typically begin to become a little more realistic at about this time frame and you will have a better idea of whether you want to be together or not after this point.

Answer 13

You are way ahead of yourself. Please wait. I got married at 25 to a man that I met at college when we were 19. It was a huge mistake to get married at 25, let alone earlier. I thought we were mature, but it didn't work out for so many reasons that we hadn't even thought about. People change so much in their 20's, I just don't think it's a good idea to even think about this right now.

Answer 14

honestly, i don't think this is something anyone else can answer for you. it's how YOU feel. trust me, i know what it's like to only be dating someone a few months and already know that they're the one you're destined to be with. my boyfriend and i have been together only 6 months and we've been talking about marriage here in a few years as well. if you know, you know. simple as that. :)



EDIT: he didn't say he was getting married at 20, he said he was 20 now and was thinking of getting married in a few years.

Answer 15

Well, my aunt married her husband after knowing him for a week and a half, and they've been happily married for 22 years and counting, so I say it really depends on the people. But just talking about marriage? As long as you're not freaking her out by talking about marriage, it's definitely fine to just talk about it lol.

Answer 16

I think you are getting ahead of yourselves. Honestly, I think that marriage in your 20's is too early to get married. During this phase people go through a lot of changes and these changes may not be welcomed by either person in the relationship. You have a lot of years ahead of you to get married. Finish college, start your career and then think about it.

Answer 17

No there is nothing wrong with having something to look forward to i have been with my hubby 10 years now 8 years married and i love every bit of it and we were friends before we became loves then we got married.

Answer 18

never too early to think of roughly marriage, yet somewhat too early to debate it in terms of the dimensions of your dating timeline. Kudos for understanding one yet another a protracted time & i'm guessing that U communicated this finished time (with the aid of the two uncomplicated & intense college) so U have difficulty-unfastened shared reviews to hold this area of the friendship at the same time in the process the years ("keep in mind while U & I have been strolling abode from college lower back in 4th grade?" etc.). Friendship is an significant element alongside with verbal substitute in my eyes to assist bolster the flexibility of the dating. shop that up - be acceptable friends with one yet another - proportion your thoughts, hopes, desires, successes & disasters. U R now in a different concern - U R in love & comprehend the place U choose to circulate & incredibly the thank you to get there. persist with the direction set earlier U & optimistically U attain your objective at the same time on your timeline. acceptable of luck to U now & interior the destiny!!!

Answer 19

I think its great and not to soon.

But if your girlfriend is going to be away to study for 4 months I don't think you should make such a big commitment till she gets back. Although life is too short to waste.

Basically if your 100% sure its what you want then go for it.

Good luck =] x

Answer 20

Alot of people would say yes, but i think its up to the couple. what ever happens you need to make sure you get to know the person REALLY well before you marry them, see everyside of them, when they are totally pissed off, to when they need a huge hug. everyside, you dont want any crazy surprises. In general so long as you know the person well, and you are both in love, it doesnt matter how long you have known them. my cousin got married only six months after knowing someone and they are still together and happy as ever five years later.

Answer 21

it is never early to marry..once you get to know a few basic tings about your partner...the romantic fervour doesnot lst for long until and unless it is built on the solid pltform of mutual trust and respect. get to know what kind of person your partner is ...try to find out more about how she talks and deals with other people...one of the best ways to find out is how does she spend her time... life is a tough journey you would need someone strong by your side...not someone who would increase your problems when you go through a hard time...also find out whether your outlook and values are matching with hers...wish u all the best brother..may god bless you

Answer 22

always ok to look to furture. thinking about and doing are two different things. if you propose in another year and then wait a few years, graduate etc.....use brith control, see where you both are in life, if you still want same things get married. Do what is right for you, do not allow others to tell you what to do...be responsible, mature and realistic....get job, plan, budget, etc. good luck

Answer 23

Go for it..........you seldom come across a person you love. The earlier you meet the longer time you have got time to spend with them. Life is short each day you spend with your loved one is memorable....treasure it. That's the pension for your later life.

Always Remember There is a woman behind a successful man whom he loves.

Answer 24

I would get engaged but I would wait about two years before Marrying. It would be good to try to live together for a while and see how you guys get a long.

Answer 25

I would not be serious at all. Big mistake. Worry about more important things right now like school. I know you've probally heard this like a hundred times but, its sounds to quick, man. Just relax enjoy college life and don't be worrying about some stupid relationship.

Answer 26

My husband fell in love with me the first time he saw me.

Been 23 years now.

Answer 27

you know, when i met my bf (hubby now) i was 20 and he was 25. we met in april and he asked me to marry him in august. we got married that next may. don't get me wrong, we've had our ups and downs, but we have more happily (than not) for 15 1/2 years. i think you need to go with your heart!

Answer 28

My parents knew each other for 3 months and got married....and they've been married for 32 years.....it happens.

Answer 29

Not at all! This is what happened with my fiance and I. We just KNEW. I couldn't have found someone more perfect for me.



Its not like you're getting married tomorrow.

Answer 30

Too young, been there done that, you'll grow apart, especially once you hit 21, or she does.



4 months is much too early, trust me! Even if she sucks a mean...uh, never mind...too young & too early.



Enjoy it while it lasts, divorce is EXPENSIVE!

Answer 31

I think you guys moving too fast. Go for another 6 months to a few more years and see what happens. Patience is a virtue.

Answer 32

i think its good. I'd just make sure its more than infatuation. The four month break should be good and marriage is good so no ur not a head of yourselves. good luck

Answer 33

Think about it - Yes.

Commit absolutely to it now - Best to wait awhile.

Answer 34

Rose tinted glasses, but go for it (all part of the Life experience).

Answer 35

no



I knew after 8 weeks that I would marry my girlfriend. It freaked me out so I tried to break up with her. I was only 18!



She would not conceede to the break up! (whatever... women!) a year later we were married.



that was 12 years ago!



peace out!

Answer 36

No. If you are both on the same page, and both feel the same way, then go for it!

Answer 37

Nope, I think thats awesome.. good luck.

Answer 38

Yes, I think it's too early.

Answer 39

Life is short.......its up to you.

Answer 40

Yes i do.

Answer 41

nope