Do we have a chance of getting married?

Question

I am a 23 year old Irish American girl who graduated from UC Davis earlier this year...and I am so ridiculously in love with my guy best friend! He is a 21 year old Korean American junior at Stanford...he's so calm, patient, quiet, understanding, and even a bit cute. I don't think any person has ever been there for me more than he has. There's so many things I could list as to why I love him so much: amazing pianist, smart (obviously), and so socially awkward that it's almost adorable. :D

But at the same time...I feel really awkward about the whole idea of marriage. Our age difference might seem small, but I've always been kinda like an older sister figure to him...teaching him things, exposing him to different things as he got older (like drinking and sex -- yeah, I'm not proud of it now -_-)...and I'd sometimes would scold him, like he was my younger sibling. I frankly feel that sometimes he gets very intimidated by me. I have a hunch that he likes me though, because when I asked him (in a very joking manner), "HEY WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE IF WE GOT MARWEED?" he turned really red and started giggling (I've NEVER seen him giggle like that before).

Ah...but I've made my share of mistakes, maybe too big and many. I've always went out partying, and I got a boyfriend at the end of my junior year at UC Davis -- more for social reasons than romantic -- and we ended up going to parties and having sex all the time (we broke up earlier this week)...and my best friend knows too because I always tell him everything about my life.

So simply put...I've been the dirty party girl and he's been this wonderful guy. I don't think I could live without him in my life. He gives the most reassuring hugs and NEVER judges me like my parents and friends always do. I love how he always says, "It's okay." I want him in my life...do you think we still have a chance? Did I screw up too badly? I don't want to start a life with anyone except for him. I'm going to see him at church this Sunday, and I'm wondering if I should say something...

Answer 1

Dang. I wouldn't marry a younger brother, even if it's just taken figuratively. Women need aggressive and loyal men in their lives! How else will you discipline the kids if they screw up big time? How else will you have him deal with threats of lawsuits and other nonsense that may come along your way? Men are supposed to be MEN; I'm sorry, but your best friend is not a man: he is literally a woman inside a man's body.



I don't mean this in a mean way sweetie; I'm sure your friend is a great guy, but there are better men who can be just as sweet but can speak up for themselves. You will find yourself quite bored with this man: plays piano, attended Stanford, quiet? Oh, please...do yourself a huge favor and leave this poor guy to meet someone that fits him. Sounds to me that you are opposites, and from personal experience, opposites never have and never will attract.



My bottomline advice: keep him as a friend -- even a close friend -- but definitely not for a husband or a boyfriend.

Answer 2

Well, IF your done being the dirty party girl, are you ready to be the girl HE wants in his life? What kind of girl would that be? It is so generous for him to not judge you, as most guys would. Can You be the Woman He deserves? By the time Sunday comes around, you may have many more Answers. Perhaps you could print out your Question, with all the Answers, then hand it to him. Ask him what He thinks.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think he's still too young for you, you treat him like a little brother maybe you just want a friend. Why are you thinking of marriage you're not even boyfriend/girlfriend!

Answer 4

i don't think you had a chance to begin with and it sounds kind of gross to ever think as a future husband as a young sibiling. but more so a wonderful guy who knows you've been around like that wouldn't want nothing more than friends.

Answer 5

OMG...he sounds like one of those limited edition teddy bears: so rare, precious, and ADORABLE! OMG!



I would do ANYTHING to be with someone like that. Smart, quiet, calm, understanding, CUTE?, cuddling in 1 package? Don't listen to Steph; GO FOR IT! HE IS YOUR MAN!

Answer 6

well hes been waiting for you for so long its time you did and i wish you all the best to.. good luck .. he sounds nice ..