Marriage and No Kids?

Question

This question is meant to be light and not taken very seriously. I'm not looking for advice. I'm just curious to other couples' comments on this situation if they were in the same boat.

My husband and I are in our mid-twenties. We do not want any children of our own. Many people always say "Just wait and see, you'll want your own kids". Or they ask the famous question "how could you not want kids?"

Now, we have some clever ways of responding. My favorite way to respond to nosey people is to say "My husband and I are enjoying our selfish years first before we sit down and talk about having kids. When one of us decides we really want children, we will talk about it and come to an agreement". But we both already know the answer is no.

Do you have any other Clever ways that you answer these questions or statements from other people?

Answer 1

My fiance and I don't want kids either. Fortunately, we're both getting to the age where people just don't ask so much anymore.



However - I got this question a LOT when I was younger. Some of my responses:



"I'm really immature and I don't believe in children having children."



"I've been practicing with cats and until I can remember to feed them on a regular basis I don't think it'd be a good idea to try out a baby."



"We've decided to spend all our money on technology so we can support the Japanese economy, and that really doesn't leave a lot of room for kids."



"We already have four but they keep getting taken away."



"My psychiatrist says it wouldn't be good to potentially pass on my mental disorders."

Answer 2

My husband and I also knew from day 1 there would be no grandchildren from our marriage. With the just wait and see prediction, a simple "okay, if you say so!" always worked. The "How could you not want kids?" was much less common, and more difficult to respond to- a simple "we just don't" doesn't cut it. We were married in 1979, when we were both 21, and never did have kids- so some people know young they don't want any, and don't change their minds. My mother keeps telling me it's not to late (I'm 49!)but yeah mom, it is!

Answer 3

I'm in your same situation, mid 20's, wonderful boyfriend, hate kids but not quite married yet! I'm not sure if I even want to get married : )



Here are some fun things I like to say;



I cant even take care of a cat right right now, let alone kids.



I was a kid once and I know what they are capable of.



We want to make sure we can afford it. We want our children to have everything and it takes time to save all that money! (this would be in a sarcastic, snooty, voice)



I say these lines, give or take, but my favorite is referring to pets. Pets are seriously a pain in the ***. Just like kids and they last just as long, 18 yrs. But pets are always cute: )

Answer 4

I totally understand how you feel. I have been married for 23 years... happily married.



One year after our wedding, I was told by my doctor that I could not have kids. Instead of crying myself silly, I came to the realization that I didn't really care.



Of course, I was concerned about my husband and his wants but was quickly put at ease when he said he didn't care. He hadn't really given it much thought, but once faced with the fact, he realized that his love for me was enough for him.



Everyone told us that with time, we would feel differently. The truth is that having a child would "steal" the precious time we have for each other. I don't mean it to sound bad by using the word steal...



That does not mean that we are smothering each other all the time... but we enjoy spending time together when and where we want. We enjoy our freedom.



That does not make us any less human. As for the prying questions... sorry but I don't think you need to come up with clever answers... be honest.. it is your life and your choice. If they like it fine, if not... that's their problem.. not yours.

Answer 5

Well my husband and I are in the same boat as you, absolutely no desire to have children (why some people can't comprehend that I have no idea.) Anyway, we just experiment with different things to say. I've told people flat out that our family planning is our business, or that nieces and nephews are plenty for me. Once to be a brat, I just told someone, "I don't want to get fat" and "I don't think Hubby would be ok with sharing the Xbox."

Answer 6

How about asking them "What in the world would possess you to make that kind of comment?"

My first husband and I were in the same boat. We were married at 29 and neither of us ever wanted kids. We never had any, never regreted it, and over the years told many nosy people it was none of their business and we didn't feel the need to discuss it.

Answer 7

My husband wanted kids even before we were married, so I cannot relate but I would probably just tell them some people do not like little beings that come complete with a bag of their own feces around their waist. Or just tell them it's not their business. They will probably stop asking.

Answer 8

My sister tends to refer to children as "money sucking crumb snatchers" that she doesn't have the patience for. I'm not that extreme. I just say that I'm too selfish to devote my life to a child right now and the whole idea of something growing inside of my body that I have no control over really freaks me out. Or you could simply tell them to mind their business.

Answer 9

Just a fact, in Japan having a dog instead of a child is gaining in popularity among young couples.



Tell them you're making up for Brittany and K-fed

Answer 10

Beyond the general "it's really none of your business" response, I would suggest "Nothing has been decided or ruled in or out". I believe that would just leave the questioner guessing and really doesn't answer the question at all.



~

Answer 11

Yep, really it is no one Else's choice but, yours and your husbands. I like your answer though...lol My husband and I don't have kids of your own but, we did adopt a boy when we were in our early 30's. We are happy with what god has gave us....good luck.

btw...we were married 4 years before we did that.

Answer 12

Say the world is overpopulated enough as it is. Or tell them that idiots like the Duggars are having enough children for a small town, so you don't feel like bringing anymore children into the world until people are all limited to how many they can have.

Answer 13

How about "Our fortune teller said if we had any kids they would take over the world, and reign in chaos for a long time...We didnt want to inflict that on the world, so we arent having any."

Answer 14

Why do you feel compelled to answer these idiots? Marriage or relationships that resemble marriage are not instigated just for the sole purpose of procreating. The desire to spawn more of us is not an intrinsic trait in all of us!

Answer 15

Well heres an idea to tell them. Tell them one of you is unable to have kids and you both are ok to deal with it and that having each other is good enough for the both of you.

Answer 16

first of all this is ur mutual agreement an has nothing to do with others , i guss u don't need to even answer their questions if u don't want a kid and neither ur hubby then don't answer any question ...don't even find a way to answer then , non of their business

Answer 17

well mid-twenties still early to say. People change. When i was in my mid-twenties I think the same as u. "No kids, we are fine as is" but then when u hit 30s your priority change. when u hit late 30s u wonder what it is like to have kids. U feel something is missing. When u hit early 40s i think u start to regret. And by late 40s its too late, i think u will start blaming each other.

Answer 18

We didn't have children until we were married 9 years.....we really liked our freedom and we weren't ready to be parents.



When someone questioned us we would say....we must be doing it wrong.....LOL



No one ever challenged us on this.



Our daughter is now 22 and we enjoyed raising her....but we're on our own again having fun.

Answer 19

I once heard a comedian tackle this topic. Her response is sure to embarrass the asker and keep them from asking again . . . "Well we tried three times last night."

Answer 20

You could say something like, 'Do you really think WE should be creating offspring?' That is kind of derogatory towards you and your husband, but you could make it like a joke.

Answer 21

You don't want to have to share your toys.



I used to tell people "uh no drinking for nine months, I don't think so" ....got mixed responses on that one LOL!

Answer 22

If people are so rude to ask, "How could you not want kids?" then just say, "Well, we just look at yours."

Answer 23

Its like that for EVERY couple....it goes like this:



Just Married: "When are you having a baby"



After one baby: "when are you having another"



After two babies: "When are you going to stop"



It never ends......no matter WHAT YOU DO!

Answer 24

"Ive enough problems looking after myself not to mind kids"

Answer 25

"Thats a pretty personal question wouldnt you say?"

"If we decide to have kids, it will be when we both are ready"

Answer 26

Not really, no. Quite frankly its none of their business.



You may WELL want children as you get older - but that is YOUR choice and no-one elses.

Answer 27

well when ever they ask , just be like " we are letting destiny decide" that will shut them up!lol

Answer 28

Mine is: "...When?...Next century...Just wait a little..."