Are husbands allowed to have female friends.?

Question

My husband is trying to convince me that having female friends is the same as having male friends and nothing is wrong with it.Women out there what do u think is it ok.I mean your married and he has alot of females friends should i accept that.

Answer 1

No, it is not OK. It is unacceptable and too risky.



I do, however, have a male friend I have known since high school, but I do not think my fiance' would have a problem with that, because this guy-friend of mine is gay.



You have every right to be against it, and he should be very understanding about the fact that, of course it is going to make you feel nervous, insecure, very confused, and scared. Your feelings are normal.



I am sorry you are going through this. I take it he has no interest in giving up his female friends or at least putting strict limits on their interactions with him, (like only doing it when YOU are there too), in order to ease your mind and make you feel better. A decent, loving, mature man would do everything in his power to keep you from being upset and hurt, and turn your emotions around, into making you feel loved AND secure. PERIOD! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.



Men are supposed to be protective over their women, and that -includes- protecting our emotions from worry, anguish, confusion, fear, and all other bad things.



You say he is a liar and was caught-out. That is very bad, obviously. I am so sorry for you. I think if he takes your relationship seriously and cares about you, he will agree to:



1. Set new terms that YOU are comfortable with, regarding his interactions with his female friends. Or, ease up and phase them out of his life, for the sake of your peace of mind. He needs to do what is best for YOU, and in YOUR best interest. A good husband puts his wife FIRST. Just like a good wife, puts her man, first.



2. Marriage counseling. If he doesn't like your point of view, then you have a big, big problem that needs to be worked out.



Again, no it is not cool he is doing that. Yes, you have the justified right to complain about it and insist it stops.

Answer 2

I think it depends on the man. An ex of mine never had any female friends. He's a "man's man" - he only has brothers and works in a male dominated industry and the only real contact he's ever had with women has been his mother and the girls he's been involved with. With this guy, if he has female "friends" I know there's something going on between them.



I've known other guys though (who have sisters) who just get on really well with women, and have many female friends. For me, I prefer these kinds of guys. I'm the sort of girl who has lots of male friends, and I'm used to being friends with guys, so a guy who can be friends with girls rather than just a lover is what I want. I think it means you have to trust them more and it's easy to be jealous when they're like that, but I think those are the guys who you can really trust, because they see women as friends and people.



Ultimately though, I think it depends on the sort of girl you are - some girls would be a lot more comfortable with guys who don't have any female friends. I think you've got a good guy :-) although I think it's a little odd that this is a conversation you're having *after* your married....

Answer 3

I think all men should have female friends for the same reason we women have male friends. I have a few male friends that I see every now and then. They are great to have around, especially to get the male perspective on some issues. Sometimes I do not know if I am taking things the wrong way so I ask them and they can give me their point of view. Even for Christmas presents, I ask them what they want or what their favorite presents were and it gives me some great ideas on what I can buy.

Answer 4

I think it is OK to for husbands to have female friends within limits: No socializing just the two of them, everything needs to be an open book, wife always gets invited. No long phone conversations or computer messaging unless it is completely OPEN access to the wife. Not that you need to snoop, but if they know it's all an open book, they will be a lot less tempted to be inappropriate.



All that said, it wasn't until our 10th year of marriage that my husband established and maintained a female friendship. I later found out that he found her hot and wanted to "do her" but he was smart enough to never cross any lines. He claims that now he no longer finds her "hot" after getting to know her really well and the way she lives her life and some of her decision making, but it still irritated me that that was why he so badly wanted to establish this friendship. She is now a friend of both of us and there really are no issues, but I do not think this would have been handled well if it happened early in our marriage.

Answer 5

my wife would not like this and i feel it's also wrong to have female friends. The only female friends i have are my wifes friends who are also married and i'm also friends with the're husbanes this situation is ok. But having seperate female friends just leaves an open door to temptation if you know what i mean. I'm a male i do look at other women so i choose not to have female friends as it doesnt leave the door to tempatation

get my drift

Answer 6

I feel it depends on a few things. Has he introduce you to them? Has he asked to invite them to your home? I believe that platonic relationships are possible although I believe I am in the minority. Occasionally both men and women need an outsiders opinion of the many aspects of how the opposite sex thinks or feels. the relationship can help them understand or get a proper perspective on what could be very touchy subjects. I believe that one person can not fulfill all of the other needs objectively. However, if the answer to my two questions is no, then it is inappropriate....just my opinion.

Answer 7

You should both have friends of either gender. It's the reason you have the friends that is important. And ideally you should work toward your friends and his friends becoming friends of both of you -- I don't like what the question implies about both of you pursuing friendships separately and not including your spouse. If he doesn't trust other guys he ought to make sure he's with you when you're with them. If the friends don't want to be with you when spouse is around, well, that tells me something about what the guy friends are hanging around for, huh. Good luck to you both in making some friends for you both.

Answer 8

It is only my opinion but when a married man becomes very close to another woman it may be difficult for him on a sexual level not to think about her in that way? On the other hand women can get very emotional when it comes to the men in their lives and you never know what her intent may be one day concerning your husband? As wives we are are very territorial with the men that we love and share our lives with and may resent another woman bonding even in friendship with our husbands. Some women out there cannot be trusted especially when their loyalty is toward your husband and not you. Even as women having a best female friend some of them have been known to have cheated with our husbands and cannot be trusted. I think if we are to have friends in the marriage of the opposite sex it should only pertain to females and males that are actually gay and would not want to think of me or my husband to touch us with a ten foot pole pole on any sexual level sweetie.

Answer 9

You trust him or you don't. Everything else is irrelevant. There is always opportunities to cheat. You could be cheating on him while he is off being "friends" with his friends. We always judge others according to ourselves, if you think he will cheat at the first opportunity, you should consider why. Is it because that's what you would do? Maybe deep down you know he is unfulfilled?



Is it his friends you don't trust? He has to bear the responsibility for any and all breaches of trust. The end is the beginning, when he leaves in the morning or when he comes home at night, you trust him or you don't.

Answer 10

My husband has a few female friends, one of them is his ex-girlfriend. I don't really care because it's not like he hangs out with them alone or anything. I've met almost everyone except for a couple of them but I don't find it threatening so I don't mind if he texts with them or talks on the phone. I would probably be a little uncomfortable if he was going out to dinner without me or something but he would never do that anyway.

Answer 11

My husband has a few female friends and personally I don't have a problem with it. I guess that it entirely depends on the kind of relationship you have with your husband. My hubby always tells me where he's going and who he is with even though I don't ask so I trust him. My ex husband had an affair with one of his female 'friends' but I knew straight away because of the way he was acting. I guess that if you know your husband then you will know whether you're happy with it or not.

Answer 12

Honestly I think it is ok to have female friends just as long as he is willing to invite you to hang out with them. If he tells you that you can't come and makes excuses like you may make his female friend feel like a third wheel then I would be suspicious. If he hides the fact that he is doing things with a female friend I wouldn't stand for that kind of disrespect. That kind of disrespect is totally uncalled for when your main priority in a relationship is to love the other person. If he can't handle the fact that it makes you uncomfortable and doesn't stop seeing them privately for your sake then that just goes to show he doesn't really love you. Love is an action. If someone in a marriage can't 'love' their partner then that just shows that they aren't loving you. And if you are in a marriage and investing your time with this person you would probably want to expect to be treated with sensitivity. If he is willing to jeopardize your relationship in order to have the freedom to see girls in his own privacy then that just goes to show what is more important to him: other girls.



If any person can not do what is necessary to make their partner feel secure in the relationship then they should not pursue that relationship. Your number one priority in a relationship should be first to make sure your partner feels secure. If you can't do that then you aren't taking that relationship very seriously and therefore arent taking the other persons feelings very seriously, which is very insensitive and selfish. And in a relationship there is no room for selfishness.

Answer 13

To turn the tables, I have a LOT of male friends and my husband is perfectly fine with that.



It's not the gender of the people he hangs around with, but how he behaves when he's with those people. If his behavior is acceptable and not sexual, then there is NOTHING wrong with having female friends.

Answer 14

I see that you do not trust your husband. Remember that if there is no trust in a relationship that it will not work out. there is nothing wrong with having females as friends. As long as they do not step over the boundaries .Jealousy is a very dangerous thing to have in one heart. Remember this.

Answer 15

My husband has lots of female friends. They come over our home often, some of them are even his ex-girlfriends from high school and college. I trust him. All my friends are men so I can't really tell him not to have female friends.

Answer 16

yes its ok for a married man to have female friends .. Do you trust him ?? thats the big question .. friends are friends no matter of the gender .. some woman get a long with men better and some men woman better .. but as long as you have faith in your relationship then let him have his freinds .. does he tell you that you cant have male friends ...

Answer 17

Sure, why not...I don't think there is a rule about husbands only having male friends... if you trust him then give him the freedom to decide who he chooses to be friends with.... marriage doesn't give us a license to control one another....we set rules and boundaries for our children

Answer 18

If he has some then you should be able to have male friends but I think you should all get to know each other so there are no secrets

Answer 19

I think having the same female friends he had before you were married is fine.

Going out and looking for new female friends would be unacceptable.

Answer 20

yeah i'm not married but i have a bf and we have a baby and i have alot of male friends b.c i can't stand girls. and he has a couple female friends and idc

Answer 21

Every married guy I've been friends with . . . I thought we were just friends, but the guy came on to me . . . EVERY single time.



So . . . I'm going to have to go with "no."

Answer 22

If you have male friends he should be able to have female friends.

Answer 23

Its okay as long as they are not seeing each other in private or making you uncomfortable.

Answer 24

ya if him and his friends tht are girls Dont go out late partying and ur ivited to everything sure why not

Answer 25

as long as they dont privately see eachother and are definitly just friends, it should be fine.

Answer 26

Only if his wife isn't insanely insecure & jealous.

If she is then probably not.

Answer 27

Not unless they wanna be ex-husbands.

Answer 28

brutally honest is right.

Answer 29

no