Question:
Is there marrige 911?
crubio
2007-12-15 04:09:54 UTC
My husband doesnt want to have sex anymore!We argue all the time! Im always at work! How can i save my marrige?
Seventeen answers:
blujello
2007-12-15 04:49:45 UTC
There are probably a million different things you can do to fix your marraige. Counseling is one of them, and it probably would really help.



For what it's worth, my answer below has to do with perspective and your mental outlook.



First, be aware that all people evolve. We all change, whether or not we are aware of it, and whether or not we like it. Infact, most people resist change. Change can be scary, and we all enjoy being comfortable, and change usually entails moving outside of a comfort zone.



The fact is, the more we embrace change, the easier it is, and the more we welcome the changes as something new and undiscovered.



The same thing applies to marraige. Marraiges evolve and change as well. This is scary for a lot of people, especially if one spouse is resisting and the other spouse is embracing.



My advise is to see today, as a new day, forget about where you've been. Look at where you are and where you want to go.



Counseling can be a great first step, because it will be a positive decision that you and your spouse can make together, one that will confirm your comittment to each other and your marraige. Whether it brings great or small revelations to the two of you, at least it will be something the two of you did together to move in the right direction.



Beyond counseling, you and your husband should work harder to communicate better. If you are scared, and tired, and frustrated with life right now, try to work with him to create an environment where you can lay your head on his lap and cry, where you can tell him how you feel, and where he can comfort you.



Beyond counseling and communication, the two of you can work towards embracing the changes in life. Take matters into your own hands, and decide together on how you want your life together to be.



Happiness is possible, it sometimes takes work, and decisiveness... too much waiting around for life to come to us can be bad, sometimes we have to go out and secure the life we want.



Good luck, God bless, and I hope you find some solice, and happiness soon!
Q-T
2007-12-15 04:25:53 UTC
seems to me sometimes people just change. Could depend on how long you have been married, falling into a same old routine can just get boring. Also you say you work all the time, I imagine you are tired and sex can become a last priority. Children can take up time, household chores, what ever and romance just goes out the window. Maybe you can start out by setting and evening aside for just the two of you. Or go on a vacation. Communication is imperative, talk to him. It takes two to hold a marriage together, establish what you expect from one another in this relationship. Arguing never resolves a thing. Good luck, God bless.
alok
2007-12-15 04:37:34 UTC
You didn't told about your age . If your husband is not taking intrest in sex then there is two matter . First, your husband have any physical problem or Second he have a affair out side. The third matter which is more serious in my view that regular arguing make your husband fad-up with you and he is now not taking intrest to having sex with you. So don't argue all the time , some time be good and lovely to you husband and have faith to each other. If you like to save your marriage then have patience.
anonymous
2007-12-15 04:56:37 UTC
HAHAHA at your marriage 911......That really is funny. I have no idea how you can save your marriage. I do know that since you are having problems that you need to talk to your husband and find out if he wants to save the marriage also. If he doesn't care to then you will be wasting your time. But do talk to him and see what it is that he wants and what is making him not want sex. Ask him if he has another woman and tell him to be honest with you. That is a start. I feel bad for you really I do. You guys gotta stop arguing for sure. Let him win the arguments I guess unless it is something that you just have to win and is that important to you. (smile)
anonymous
2007-12-15 05:32:10 UTC
Why are you always at work and why doesn't he want to have sex? Does he begin the skirmishes? Does he make up stupid excuses to fight with you? You know..stupid reasons for fighting to put you down..like cat hair on a pillow.. or like dust on a lampshade.. etc. That is an indicator of a deeper issue, woman. Trust your instincts.



If you can find a way to not work such long hours.. do that..cut the hours way back. Work on becoming a softly spoken woman filled with the same love you used to have for him at the beginning. Maybe you can turn things around..maybe not. It is between the two of you though to find the way and make the effort required.



God bless the two of you and God bless your marriage with strength from God.
<3♥Judy♥<3
2007-12-15 04:17:26 UTC
a gate away just you and him ask for a week of at work. work is o.k but went it comes between you and your marriage you should really do some thing to save it. I also work some hard hours and went i come home I'm tired and i barely want sex but i have to make an effort other wise that how the husband look for some thing out side the house. just an advise from Me
CGordo
2007-12-15 04:53:51 UTC
Go to www.acf.gov and look at the Healthy Marriage Initiative. There is a lot of information and links to other resources. (That's the Administration for Children and Families, federal agency)



Also try Smartmarriages.com and the Healthy Marriage Resource Center (it's located in Oklahoma). There are many programs for marriage help, rescue, etc, throughout the US.
anonymous
2007-12-15 04:20:44 UTC
WOW! no sex? are you guys NUTS!???

Never Ever Ever turned THAT down....because of an argument......



Thats just lame! Do you know how many single peepz are out here longing for it, but dont HAVE a spouse, and keep ourselves (dont run around)..........even though we COULD have sex?



Get Help, sweetie, never go to bed unhappy and never ever hold Sex as a tool against each other....even the Bible tells you NOT to do that
ladybug
2007-12-15 04:31:48 UTC
First of all,we all have to work to survive,but marriage comes first.When work comes before marriage,it's time to stop and ask your self"What am I working for,if I lose my spouse over my job,is it worth it?" You have to look at this from his point of view.Put your self in his shoes and then ask your self,how you'd feel if he were you..

I'd never let work come between my hubby and me.Life's too short to waste on a job or silly arguments. My hubby's happiness always comes first with me..Peace!!
anonymous
2007-12-15 05:46:55 UTC
Here is the number to marriage 911: 1-800-DIVORCE



No you can't save your marriage or relationship. Once you got married you destroyed your relationship. If you don't have kids end it and learn your lesson and never get married again!!!
pooterilgatto
2007-12-15 04:13:15 UTC
Get some Marriage counseling
ABBYsMom
2007-12-15 04:27:56 UTC
Try dating your husband again...Remember what brought you two together and have some alone time...Go to dinner and movie, whatever types of things you use to do when dating...
zelgadiss
2007-12-15 05:04:22 UTC
Lol, are you going to call the Sex police and cry "I'm too busy and I don't get what I want!" Maybe he doesn't think you are sexy anymore and wants you out?
anonymous
2007-12-15 04:25:33 UTC
"Marrige 911" ??
seven twigs(go OIC!)
2007-12-15 04:34:01 UTC
probably getting it on wid the secratary
Mastermind
2007-12-15 04:16:03 UTC
Invest in a vibrator
anonymous
2007-12-15 04:55:23 UTC
simple....quit working so much


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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