Do you think i should give up on him?

Question

I recently met a guy who is 28 and i am 22.However he already have 2 kids from his ex.At first i had no problem with it but ny sister and my friend warned that i can get compicated.We set a date at first and he cancelled because he kids were visting him and we were suppose to meet up today and he said that we can't because he has to take his kids to dinner.I just realized that things will gwt compicated because his kids will be his number 1 priority and i don't think i want to be in that kind of relationship.It will be alot easier if he didn't have kids.So i am thinking about giving up on him.

Answer 1

You seem like you want something more,and I don't think he can give that to you.His kids are obviously on the first place,and I don't know what he feels about their mother.You said that you've just recently met him,so if I were you I would leave him before I fall to much in love and end up in a position where my feelings would be hurt.You deserve much more from a relationship, a man only for yourself,someone with who you can have future with and maybe children of your own one day. Maybe it's not what you want, maybe you just want to have fun,but it's not fun or passion really - if you know that you don't have a shot,or the attention that you deserve and crave for.

Answer 2

Look, your sister and friend are right in a certain aspect. I was in a relationship (engaged) with a man who had 2 kids and delt with that stuff all the time. it is not easy. and I am 20 years old, he was 27. The kids will always come first regardless, and thats the way it should be. But for people like me who don't have kids and are used to relationships being a certain way it can cause big issues. needless to say we aren't together anymore, But I think that just because a man has children doesn't mean a relationship wouldn't work out. They need love to ya know. But it has to be with two VERY compatible people and both parties need to be ready to handle kids. Because when you are dating a father, its a package deal! good Luck!

Answer 3

If you would rather date someone who does not have the responsibility of children, that's your right. As you said, his kids are (or should be) his #1 priority so a girlfriend will always come second (and a potential girlfriend even lower than that).



I have no issue dating guys with kids, and don't think they should be shunned (or women with kids), however before getting involved with someone who has children, you do need to be prepared for issues that can come up, plans to be changed, etc.



It's not for everyone...

Answer 4

if you love him, you must understand that for most people kids are #1 priority. In the other hand, he should balance the time he is going to spend with his kids and with you; which means take you and the kids out sometime so you can socialize with them and later on you two spend some quality time together with no kids around...if he is willing to do that dont give up otherwise move on, you can do better than that.

Answer 5

It does get very complicated when children from a prior marriage are involved, they should be the number one priority. If you don't mind always coming in second in the relationship, you can hang in there. Otherwise, life is much less complicated with a man who doesn't have children. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Any time you get involved with a man that has children....you need to realize you would NEVER NEVER be number one in his life! Even if you married him....................the kids will always come before you. So if this is not what you want in your life, you had better stay away with divorced men with children! The other thing is you would always have the EX in your lives too.

Answer 7

I do not understand why you couldn't go with him and his children to dinner! He is basically saying to you don't be around when I have my kids... I think I would look elsewhere for love!!! MY husband has three and doesn't want anymore but I've never had children never wanted any till recently my clock is ticking - but his children caused a lot of problems we almost divorced b/c of them many times! Now it is easier but there for awhile it was hell on me and I don't know if I'll ever feel the way I tired to or should toward them b/c of it! I have alot of anger toward my husband as well b/c of him siding with children when he should not have! They also had a big part in ruining our wedding as well!

Answer 8

If you like the guy why don't you ask to go with them to dinner? A sure fire way to see what kind of man he really is shows when he interacts with his kids. His kids should be his number 1 priority...he divorced their mother-not them....

Answer 9

If you like him, why can't you ask him if you can go along with them. Tell him you'd like to meet his kids and get to know them. If he says he'd rather not, then you are not one he sees a future with. Your right, his kids will always come first, but there could be another reason, he doesn't bring you along. He could have psycho ex who would litteraly kill you if you were around her kids. Just ask him. Tell him, "I really like you and would love to meet your kids. But I feel you'd rather not have me around. What's the deal?" Believe me he'll tell you what's up. Find out what the problem is before you dump him.

Answer 10

Sorry honey, if its not working out already I say move on. Plus you already seem to know it isnt going to work so why put yourself through that? He may need to find a woman who has kids too so it would be easier for her to understand what he is going through. Good luck!

Answer 11

It is good that you are intuned with what you are willing to put up with and what you are not willing to put up with. Because you can already see that there will be a problem with his responsibility for his children it would be wise for you to end the relationship. You are not ready for this and it is not bad, it is honest. Why start something that will only end up giving you disappointments?

Answer 12

You should probably give up on the relationship if you want to be his top priority. This type of man, will put his children first, which is the way it should be.

Answer 13

you are still young and have a long way to go,i think that you should leave this guy and more on cos really him children will always come frist, their him blood for heavensake. take your time,for there is always a man for everywoman.i wish you all the best.cheers

Answer 14

It does get extremely complicated when kids are involved. You are young enough to find someone who does not have kids. I would focus my attention else where.



Good luck!

Answer 15

My advise is RUN!!!!! If you do keep seeing him and things get serious, in the long run you will resent the fact that he has to give their mother a large chunk of money every month, for years to come. and thats just the begining of all the crap you will have to deal with.

Answer 16

You should move on. His kids should always be his #1, and if that bothers you, then you probably wouldn't be very good for him/them, and you will be happier somewhere else.

Answer 17

and years from today, you'd be a divorced mom of two kids, complaining about your ex husband never wanting to spend time with your kids.



which way does this go?

Answer 18

Move On. You Don't need the extra baggage.

Answer 19

I think you should move on. If it's this complicated already, you should end it, for everyone's sake.

Answer 20

GET OUT WHILE U STILL CAN