Has marriage become an outdated institution?

Question

In today's society and with the legal system the way it is, favoring the female in almost all cases: Marriage is a forlorn and outdated institution. Divorce is not the problem: it's the institution of marriage itself and the way the parties view and enter it. I've seen too much evidence to think any other way. It is simply not in a guys best interests to marry, and many times even hers. By all means do everything short of marriage: become an exclusive couple, spend time with her....even all your time, take her everywhere you go, even move in with her if things have developed to that point (at your own risk). Stay with her for years, even forever: just don't marry her.
The object in marriage, at least according to fairy tales I was told as a child, is to be together until death parts you, as an exclusive and monogamous couple. That’s the intention, but you know what they say about good intentions. Just how does the institution of marriage foster this end? In reality, it does the exact opposite. It sets up a dynamic in the relationship where neither party, especially the woman, has the incentive to put forth in the relationship and behave as if their words and actions could bring forth immediate retribution. She's already "gotcha", and she knows it. Her perception now is that the amount of bullshit she's able to get away with has just expanded astronomically. It's not so easy for you to cut bait and run now that you're married. Her incentive to BEHAVE has just fallen through the floor. Her attention instead will turn to CONTROLLING you, which she may never have attempted prior to delivery of that ring.

Answer 1

The funny thing about this is that at first, I totally agreed. However, it's not just the woman that can do the things you stated.



The funny thing about marriage is that I don't think it fits todays society. In the world today, everything is about instant results, instant happiness. If one road doesn't get you where you want to go quickly enough, take another route, heck hop on a plane. The possibilities and opportunities are endless... well apply that modern mentality to marriage as well, since it's seen in all other aspects of a persons life. In a marriage, you will have times where you don't feel "in love" or when you wonder "is there someone else better for me", you have moments where it flat out sucks. Years ago a person bought a car and drove it into the ground. The repaired it time and time again. Now, we toss them to the side almost as soon as possible and trade it in for a new, prettier one. Marriage is about the long haul, it's about the giving and giving and giving and seeing it through. I believe most anyone can make their marriage last if both parties are willing to put the EFFORT and COMMITMENT into it. It takes work and it is a beautiful thing, if one remembers that there is no one on gods green earth that will keep the butterflies in your tummy day in day out.



It's sad that marriage isn't a serious thing anymore. The divorce rate is sad, the amount of people who do the things you state is sad.

Answer 2

Excellent post!!!! You make some great points but I think you forgot the most important one. Marriage is a contract, legally binding you to her and her to you. This implies ownership and that is never a good thing for any relationship. However; our illustrious government, in their quest to make up for all the abuse women suffered over the years, has made it worse. Now; the very meaning of marriage is annulled by the laws surrounding divorce. Therefore; I agree with you that marriage has become outdated and should be done away with. Look people; there is no more excuse for unwanted pregnancy. The reason I say this is it is not 1960 anymore. We have pills, patches, diaphrams, even a morning after pill for pete's sake. The only explanation is either she is laying a trap or she is simply too lazy to use birth control.

Answer 3

I see this question a lot on here. I personally don't think marriage is outdated. It still carries more advantages than living together or being single. It just has to be with the right person.

Answer 4

Sorry to rain on your parade, but when I divorced I received half. No more, no less. Nobody was favoured and everything divided equally (as it should be). Marriage is what you make it. If you keep attracting controlling women, then there must be something wrong with you. Fix yourself rather than waylaying blame and ranting. You, and everyone else around you will be a lot happier for it.

Answer 5

Thats really good. I used to think about marriage being a positive thing. Now, after years of failed relationships and seeing my married friends, im totally disillusioned with it. at times ive thought about possibly moving to another country to find better wife material.Now i know that not all women are at fault. Now im speaking from the perspective of when I believe that women are the major contributing factor in a divorce. For the sake of being honest, from my experience american women are out of control. Im not really one that enjoys stereotyping but its just my experience.In this age of feminism and equal rights for women i believe women have lost their femininity. The differences in the roles of men and women have become grey. If we are equal whats the difference between men and women (except for the obvious).Women want to be independent...great...they want to work....fine....same pay...fine. But when this type of equality surpasses "traditional roles" guess what happens...the roles become grey'd and a man is no longer a man but more of a companion.Again not to stereotype so...SOME women use this concept of equality and turn it into something that is conditional. They want equality, yet they still want to be treated in the traditional woman role whenever it suits them. I feel that women have d emasculated men to an extent. I personally love supporting a woman but i need her to be appreciative of it (not a kiss-a**) and allow me to be a man. You know have at least minimum time to ourselves. At this point in my life i cant see an argument that would demonstrate the positive in a man being married. Its a big circle of s*** pretty much. "Thats just my opinion...i could be wrong"

Answer 6

Your over thinking it. Marriage can be a great bonding experience with years of love and fulfillment. Just doesn't work for everyone.

Answer 7

Marriage is not the culprit in disagreements, fights and eventual divorcees. People themselves take take of all that. I strongly believe in it, though it's hard at times, it is very rewarding to me..

Answer 8

I'm a believer, but you know what, you're exactly right

Answer 9

just have one kid so your safe or just date or adopt a kid