Why does he continue to let me linger and wait for his convenience when he knows he has no other prospects?

Question

I initiated contact with this guy that I knew as an acquaintance... He confessed that he actually was attracted to me too, but he never bothered to let me know... I am so frustrated with this whole situation... We are complicated right now, but I really want to be just friends now that I know that I am transfering in the fall to another college...but I wasn't sure about this until recently. When we talked before I came to this decision, I was still kind of looking for exclusion... But, he told me that he was looking for polyamory (which really was annoying because he has also told me that he doesn't want any commitment based on bad experiences in the past) ... but he also says that he is really busy regardless, but polyamory is really having a committed relationship with more than one person (and I think he is mixing words and that he just wants to screw)... and don't get me wrong, it's college and we are in a transitive stage in our lives... So, he doesn't know my current situation that I will be transfering, and I still want to be friends with him and have a good time regardless of me transfering. I don't want this to be another awkward and abrupt ending of another friendship... I made a pact to myself before this semester started that I would not date anyone and I would just stay on my schoolwork (like I did in high school) I just kept my head down and never tried dating or interracting like that with people... and I saw him one day (fricking hormones) and I said to myself, "Oh! I forgot all about him!!! He is soo cute!" I can't believe I actually threw myself out there like that ...I have done this before, and nothing ever works... I should just not try and stop wasting my time... all they want is sex. But, anyways, he has never initiated contact with me as far as a text wanting to go out or hang out whatever... I have always initiated contact, and I am just pissed off about this whole thing. I saw his play and texted him congratulations afterwards and invited to take him out for dinner as a celebration... he was busy doing a project afterwards, which is understandable, but he messaged me on facebook the next day apologizing that he didn't get back to me sooner the night before (his phone was still on vibrate from the play)...he said that he would have time to grab dinner over the weekend (and asked if I was still up for it)...I just kind of didn't say anthing other than good luck and to break a leg because he was actually heading out to do another run of the play)... and now it's Sunday night, and it's 8pm, the play ended at 4pm, and he still hasn't texted me... I am so annoyed with him, I just want to kick his *** for being so rude... I was paying for a meal, and he just blew me off... I guess I am such a type A and that I get a little crazy about this stuff, but seriously, it is really inappropriate. Oh yea, and he is older than be by three years. Maybe this has something to do with him being an asshole... I just feel like I am not very approachable because I come off as intimidating sometimes ( as far as the way I dress and such)...I dress casually, but I don't really wear revealing clothes (tank tops, dresses, etc.) I am also very blunt when I speak too... I guess he has no other prospects (girls) right now, and that he is flattered that I am interested, and he will just keep me around because I'm just there and it's convenient for him... Well, I'm done ranting...

Answer 1

Having a god rant always makes you feel better.



The first red flag that he really didn't like you and he was using you was that he NEVER contacted you first or asked to see you.



Everything he fed you was just BS, he was using you and wanted to f*ck other people. All the other garbage was just BS to see if you would be stupid enough to put up with it.



He is not worth another second of your time...Move on and find someone better. Next time you start seeing a guy remember if he makes no effort, if you are forever chasing him, texting him, calling him...His intentions are not good. He does not like you he wants sex, nothing more.



You asked why? Because he needs someone to have sex with and give him an ego boost, he gets you when he wants you, and doesn't have to see you when he doesn't. This will continue as long as you allow it...Or until he meets a girl he likes, then he'll drop you like a hot potato.

Answer 2

That's a whole lot of ranting over a guy who's very obviously not that into you. Despite what you say, it's also obvious that you like him and want more than he's ever going to give you. He'll use you, and you'll let him. It ridiculous that you're upset by his lack of true interest. He's been clear about his feelings about you. Pay for dates, buy him stuff, always be the one making the effort, then get dumped when someone he really likes comes along. Just don't start crying after it's over. You plainly see it coming and chose to ignore it.

Answer 3

Sorry for your frustration. It's hard when you want something/someone and the feeling is not reciprocated. Even tho you let your guard down and decided to go for it..he doesn't feel the same and you are coming off as needy and desperate. Stop now while you still have your dignity in tact. He is not into you or he would definitely be chasing you. You are chasing him...not the way it works. Let it go, you know it yourself deep down and you are cruisin for a bruisin that is going to make you feel even worse than you do now. Besides the age gap and you say he is an a**hole to you..it means he doesn't care. Good luck and keep your mind focused on your studies..don't let anyone, anything distract you.

Answer 4

After all that ranting, the answer is very simple! He does it because you let him! Set your standards and expectations a lot higher and you will attract a better quality guy. This guy is using you as a time filler when he has nothing better to do.

Answer 5

You need to work on your self-esteem. People with good levels of esteem don't let themselves get used like that.

Answer 6

He's just not that into you, if he was it would show in his behavior towards you. learn from your mistakes, and find someone who will treat you right. don't settle for men like this.

Answer 7

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