I just read your first post and you are past the point that you feel good about yourself when with your husband....THAT IS WHAT LOVE IS. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU.
I don't think you ever were able to get past the 'affair' he had; although, you have done a lot to get 'that old loving feeling back', IF IT IS NOT THERE....IT IS NOT THERE! Every time you look at him now, you are feeling foolish for staying....THEN YOU NEED TO SEEK HAPPINESS ELSEWHERE BY GETTING A DIVORCE. IF HE IS NOT WILLING TO TAKE YOU SERIOUS, DON'T EVEN DISCUSS IT WITH HIM.
IT TAKES TWO TO MEND ANY BROKEN TRUST. HE IS NOT DOING HIS PART, AS YOU DESCRIBED IN YOUR LAST POST. SO, ASK YOURSELF, HOW CAN I MAKE HIM CHANGE? THE ANSWER IS, YOU CANNOT.
ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS, SO GO GET IT. GET SEPARATED, DIVORCED AND THEN SEEK ANOTHER. GOOD LUCK
califdreamer_2000
2007-06-27 20:40:47 UTC
I know many disagree with this but you need to remember that love is a choice we make. You either love some one or you choose not to. I read about so many women who are so in love with their wife beating alcoholic husbands that it just makes me ill. Yet I also read of women who have great husbands but the they want more.
Love is a choice. We love some one and then we move on when it doesn't work out. We don't sit there and wither away. Sometimes it takes a bit to get over it because of the pain we feel.
When you choose not to love some one, you know because it's your choice! Search deep in your heart and you have the answer.
petra
2007-06-27 20:22:42 UTC
Here is an easy way to try it out: for the next 4 weeks, treat your hubby as if you loved him very much, with consideration, little things your used to do in the beginning. A special dinner, hugs and kisses, etc. In 4 weeks, see if you still dont love him.
yahooligan
2007-06-27 20:17:10 UTC
if you just cannot feel anything other than a friendship maybe,,,i mean not wanting to have sex with him anymore, not wanting to hang out much with him, finding interest in other things,,,i got married at 15 the 1st time,,, & i grew up, & wasn't inlove anymore...try to work on it for awhile & think about the positives & negatives & sort your emotions before making your final decision
monmonth.
2007-06-27 20:14:56 UTC
When you sigh at the thought or sight of them. Also if you take extra efforts to avoid them and stay away from home so that you can spend less time with them.
billc4u
2007-06-27 20:30:19 UTC
when you had rather be by yourself than with them, when you do all the work you can to keep from going home, when you cringe at the thought of sex with them, when the touch of them makes you ill, and when you do not seem to ever do anything but argue
maildad
2007-06-27 20:14:11 UTC
love is a commitment, not a feeling . It lasts thru ups and downs. what has happened? please send more details
shim696
2007-06-27 20:36:33 UTC
when u dont care about him no more..
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