Ok..i cheated my wife with another guy..should i marry him as well??

Question

we have sex for three months now with this guy more on physical in nature. im married with two sons and he's also married with a son and daughter. im 36 he's 33 our relation is more on physical attraction but please dont get me wrong we both love our wives and family though we keep it very discreet and safe..we know we have cheated our wives..is it alright if we marry secrectly so that cheating will be out of the question and make it very secret as well. please me your thoughts.

Answer 1

you're idiot..and pathetic. dude you will burn in hell. i guess i think better than you do when im only 16...hope you pray to god so that he give cleanse you..

Answer 2

You are already married. To your wife.



You can't have 2 marriages.



Does your State allow same sex marriages?



Even if you could/did marry .. you would still be cheating your wives. It would not matter how secret you make it, you would still be cheating your wives. This is crazy, but if you have one woman partner, and one man partner, in marriage - you would always be cheating on one of them.



Your wives, should be given the choice about both of you.



They should be given the knowledge that their husband is having an affair with another man .. and do they wish to accept that? It is their decision. However, the wives should definetly know about this, and be given the choice to decide.



One day, your discreet & safe secret, may be made know to everyone .. including your wife, and your children. And it could happen at a time that you are completely unaware.



Your wives need to have a choice.



This is your decision. The decisions you put in your life, determines your life.

Answer 3

I think the fact that you need to ask is it right or not means that there are problems.

This is the greatest betrayal that a man can carry out.

As not only have you betrayed your wife as her husband you have broken almost every rule in the book and then some.

You obviously need counselling for you have confused the need for a friend with sexual curiosity and tried to justify it by titling it love.

You talk about love, what a perverted perception you must have of the word and its meaning that you could find yourself in this situation at all.

Come on who are you fooling,certainly not me! You use words like discreet and safe as if that makes everything justifiable and okay.

Well I am sorry but you have a very twisted take on life and love. Where is the respect and obligation to be a good role model for your children?

Your wife may easily find a man, she is well rid of you and may likey be relieved to be so.

But where will your son or daughter find a father in the real sense of the word, most certainly not in you.

Do those kids a favor and get the hell out of their lives.

You really disgust me!.

You certainly don't deserve their love or respect.

Answer 4

Number one, if you're in America that would be breaking the law (you can only be married to one person at a time). Second, you inconsiderate jerk, how could you go behind the person you "supposedly" loves back and cheat on her. You are being wrong to her, and in the process causing another man to be wrong to his wife as well. There is no way to make that right, so stop trying to find ways. You know what you are doing is wrong; and it is your job to fix it. Think about your kids, the woman who will be heart broken when she finds out, and the relationship you have that goes deeper than just a quick fix. I mean think about it, what if you were in a bad accident and you were paralyzed and could no longer do the things that are linking yall together. Who's gonna be there, your family who loves you (the wife who has been there through better and worse and the kids who look up to you as there hero and role model) or the man who thinks of you as his sexual release. You can find sex anywhere but love is rare. When you married your wife you made a promise to her, and now you're breaking that. Looks like you need to really look at the big picture and decide what is really important to you. You can't have both!

Answer 5

Have you completely lost your mind, do you hear yourself talking. You are living on the "DOWN LOW". First, your are running the possibility on carry a STD back to your wife. Second, even if you marry this man, you are still CHEATING. It would be illegal, anyway. Third, look at the damage you have or are going to cause both your families. Tell your wife the truth and then get tested. Could you imagine how she will feel, not one time did you think of your family and you are worried about making it right... please!!! Your wife and kids are better off without you.

Answer 6

Ok, I'm not sure you will find anywhere that will let you marry legally, not because you are gay, but polygamy is illegal most everywhere. That and marriage will not make your cheating ok, you will still be cheating on your wives, but then also your husband. If you can't not have the affair keep it discreet, it would tear your family apart if anyone discovered this.

Answer 7

What do you mean by saying that if you marry him you won't be cheating on your wives anymore? Are you planning on having them as your Best Man & Bride's Maid or what? Are you insane? I think so. Go get help this instant. If your wife finds out, she'll probably give you good reason to seek medical attention anyhow.

Answer 8

nothing good can come from the down low. You will get caught and will loose your family. Maybe if you ask your wife she'll give you anal?



Why do you think cheating will be out of the question if you marry? You 2 obviously don't take your 1 vows faithfully.

Answer 9

How can you secretly marry someone else when you both are married? Im not a fan of cheating or sneaky-ness. You both need to decide what you want more so you can stop hiding and lieing and be honest about whatever relationship you choose. All of this hiding must drive you crazy. Stop and choose what feels right.

Answer 10

if you're married and having a relationship outside your marriage whether its based on physical or whatever...its an affair...there is no way around the reality of what it is...just because you commit yourself to this guy does not lesson what you are doing to your wives....and what you are doing to your wives is horrendous! and not just to mention your wives, but your children...affairs effect the whole family....you're cheating, you're a cheater. thats the bottom line. the only thing that will change that is if you cease your behavior...

Answer 11

Honestly, you're in a very tough situation, but the last think I would do is marry him as well. You've already betrayed not only your wife, but your kids, and you need to be honest with them. Do not marry him when you have a family, because evenutally they're going to find out, and it'll be worse if they find out later.

Answer 12

. You cant betray a person like that by being with someone else. You have to choose, but put your children first. You have to ask yourself y u have done this and if you still love your wife. U cant have best of both worlds. Thats greedy and i think what ur doing is very wrong.

Go to marriage councelling!!!! Think of your wife. How would u feel if she did this to you?

Answer 13

I am extremely against gay marriage. But completely for your own choices. I do feel that it is wrong that you are cheating on your wife. regardless of sexual orientation. You need to prioritize your life. Find out what makes you the happiest in life and most success full while being a decent human being. It seems to me that since your "attraction" is mainly physical there is no need to marry. remember its physical. Nothing else. you need to tell your wife.

Answer 14

Brokeback Mountain all over again. Why are you concerned about cheating in your relationship with him when you already have been cheating on your wife? You are obviously gay, do your wife a favor and get a divorce. She deserves a real and honest life.

Answer 15

So let me understand this...you think that if you keep it a secret it's ok? Uuummm...no! It's cheating no matter how you cut it. You need to stop. You need to tell your wife and let her make an informed decision about how she wants to handle the marriage.

Answer 16

How would you marry him without first divorcing your wife? It sounds like a very impractical and nonsensical idea to "secretly" marry this man. Marrying him isn't a solution at all, it would only complicate things much more.

Answer 17

So, you don't think that it would be as bad for you to have sex with another person without your wife's knowledge if you secretly married the other person.... So, would it be ok with you if your wife married somone else without your knowedge? Sounds a little foolish when you see it spelled out doesn't it!

Answer 18

If you love your wife, you wouldn't be cheating on her. If you want to get married to this guy, save your wife the extra hurt. You have to be honest with your wife first, as difficult as it is, you have to tell her. Don't go on betraying her like this, you have to choose either her or your guy friend,unless she feels otherwise. Good luck.

Answer 19

For my comments,i find that is nothing,as long u know how to maintain between mistress n family...As a proper wife,u muz handover the expenses in time n dun let her know so much abt what u do ouside coz this is another ways of protecting ur wife not to get hurt do easy..If she know nothing,mayb she feel more happy than knowing ur problem...Is not that i encourage husbands to do that n is b coz things already happens n especially relationship cant be force....

Answer 20

Is gay marriage legal anywhere anymore? You are already married and you cannot marry anybody else until you divorce the person you are married to.



Do your wife a favor and tell her that you are gay. You owe it to her.

Answer 21

Umm...i get where your coming from.However just because it's a guy,doesn't make it right.So would you marry another girl if you were having an affair with her?To me,that seems like it'd me more hurtful for everyone.Just my opinion.

Answer 22

Huh?? You are talking about marrying the guy you are having an affair with, but also staying with your wife and family???

Answer 23

If you marry him secretly...it's still cheating on your wife.



Very messed up situation man!



Good luck!

Answer 24

No!

Absolutely not!

Do you think your guilt will lessen if you marry him?

Furthermore, do you think your relationship can survive w/ the only basis is physical attraction?

Think again.

Answer 25

uh no sorry but are you fking kidding me. imagine your wife and kids finding out. yeahh ... um i have been cheating on you with another guy. WHAT? well ... technically not cheating ... we're married. sorry you have to chose. dont be surprised if you chose your wife and kids and your wife divorces you.

Answer 26

No, stop cheating on your wife. If you want to be with this guy divorce your wife and marry him, making it 'secret' doesn't make it okay.

Answer 27

Your gross. You need help both of you. I hope your wife finds out and leaves you. What a fool.

Answer 28

Marriage to more than one person is bigamy. Besides how would you explain this to your kids if they find out?

Answer 29

I hope your wife tells you to f&%# off you homo. I hope you're bf's wife does the same thing too.

Answer 30

first of all, your sick i hope your wife finds out and divorce your ***. Get out of the closet.

Answer 31

i hope this is a joke, and if it's not i hope your wife finds out...so that she would not waste her time w/a person like u

Answer 32

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Answer 33

Don't take this personally, mate, but it's a shame you've passed on your genes

Answer 34

LMAO. You're a fruit.

Answer 35

please tell me you arent gat. where you have kids and wife if so get divorced and come out from your closet. , my opion?

Answer 36

sounds like broke back mountain part two

Answer 37

My oh my, you are really scewed up!

Answer 38

vermin

Answer 39

Tell me ur not gay

Answer 40

save your marriage

Answer 41

hey moe, is your middle name ron? your certainly a moe ron!

Answer 42

If it soothes your conscience then go for it!!

No sense of humour some people!!! : (

Answer 43

please tell you wife, leave her , get tested and come out of the closet.

Answer 44

no

Answer 45

What the hell?!!???

Answer 46

No offense but please seek professional help..........

Answer 47

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