Single Mom dating Single Mom?

Question

Hey everyone, I'm a single mom and my son is 10 years old now. Recently I've been dating another woman who's also a single mom, her son is also 10 years old. We have a lot in common, we're the same age, both very athletic, and we have a lot of common interests. She proposed to me that we should move in together and form a new family. I've been seriously considering it, and I would like to ask you guys for your opinions. Do you think it's a good idea?

I've attached a copy of one of the emails she sent me when we first met a few months ago, just to give you a sense of how compatible we are.




Original Email:

Good Afternoon Tiffany,

How are you today? I hope you're having a fantastic day and the rest of the day. It was wonderful to meet you last Friday, I had a great time!

Congratulation! You have just met your "twin" (figure of speech of me being your twin) because we have SO MUCH in common as I thought about it. So far, here are the things that I think we have in common:

1) You and I are a single mother.
2) You and I have one son.
3) You and I had the child at the age of 23.
4) You and I have been married before.
5) You and I have been divorced before.
6) You and I are Asian with common decent in Chinese blood.
7) You and I have been single for almost two years now.
8) You and I will not settle for one-night-stand.
9) You and I l LOVE kissing for hours if not all night.
10) You and I are now lesbians and deeply desire to be with a woman especially at night.
11) You and I like to take things slow.
12) You and I have been with men before.
13) You and I would like to have life partner if possible.
14) You and I are both in our 30's and mature.
15) You and I have one brother that lives in the East Coast (Your brother is in New York & my brother is in North Carolina).
16) You and I work out consistently (running).
17) You and I live with our one and only son.
18) You and I love to caress and enjoy THAT special someone (each other's company) in bed.
19) You and I LOVE the "missionary position" and hold both hands with each other, which gives us the equilibrium of deep passion for one another.
20) You and I do not enjoy penetration in our precious jewel (smile).
21) You and I are both seeking a partner who is physically identical.
22) We are the same height/weight.

In knowing/sensing that you and I enjoy the same things, it is wonderful to be able to know that you and I will have no problems of being passionate for one another when the time permits us to. Especially, the kissing 'like no tomorrow' and the 'missionary position' parts, it will certainly feel lovely to be able to feel the passion for each other harmoniously. As we both have said during our first date, we would like to kiss all night when the time permits us to, and I'm sure that night is coming to us soon.

Having said all of that, I'm glad that you think having much common things together is a good thing. I also would like to think that we are a potential 'perfect match' in relationship and twins in common things that will give us hopes and trusts for one another (what do you think?).

The location where you live in Pasadena is not that far from Gardena. I think it's around 30 to 45 mins drive or even less. So, the distance is manageable.

Beside everything else, please permit me to know more about you in any way you want me to know. Until then, have a wonderful evening!

Cheers,
Crystal

Answer 1

1. She's not that mature because anyone who makes a list convincing themselves (or others) of their compatibility aren't compatible. She's just grasping at straws.



2. You're both not lesbians if you don't enjoy penetration and if your sense of passion is by hand holding and long makeout sessions. If anything, this makes both of you bicurious.



3. The list is stupid. Anyone can have similar lists like that. I'll share just some of the things my partner and I have in common to show you just how silly it is to come down to the bare minimum to try to convince someone naively that they're a good fit.



- We like Chinese food

- We both drive Honda makes

- We have both been to the UK

- We both like fish and chips

- We both want the same things in life

- We've both dated men before realizing we were lesbians

- We are both in our 20s

- We both like movies

- We both like cooking at home

- We both love dogs

- We both want to travel more

- We both have short hair

- We both like cargo shorts and tshirts



See how stupid that list is? Anyone can have things in common.



4. How can you talk about passion and feeling things for each other if you haven't even kissed? Or even talk about the awesomeness of missionary style? Seriously?



5. You guys haven't known each other for that long and you're willing to bring your kids into this situation? So you go from straight to lesbian and then you unload on your son that your lesbian lover and her son are moving in too? How much trauma do you want to put your kid through? And REALISTICALLY do you think this can last especially when you're jumping in head first without knowing each other for a long time?



6. You're justifying whether or not to date (this was in her email) because of the distance...and you've met only ONCE.





Personally I think it's an awful idea. It's traumatic for your son to have to drop this on him all of a sudden. There needs to be integration of your kid meeting her kid and hanging out together for a few months before you move in together. Remember that your son comes before this woman and her child because that's how it should be. It's great you think you might have found someone compatible with you, but try to be realistic for the sake of your child.

Answer 2

My only concern is that you appear to only have been involved for a few months - not a sufficient amount of time in which to determine whether the relationship will last. I firmly believe that when children are involved, the adults have a responsibility to be secure in their relationship before the children become involved, and attached, to a person who may not be around in a year.



Remember, a year to a child can be a lifetime,

Answer 3

actually she sounds too needy, take it slow. IF a girl wrote me that stuff I would think that I am manipulated but that is love I guess. so in short..too much too soon.