I found out the password to my fiancee's voicemail?

Question

And a woman left a message! I really couldn't make out what she said but it went something like " Hey it's me, (couldn't make out this part) I told your punk *** lets go!!" (In a flirtatious kind of way).

I don't know what to do. I don't want to let him know that I heard his voice messages and not have solid proof that he is in fact cheating on me. We have been together for 9 years and have a 2 year old daughter together and I am devastated over this. I just wish I can make out what the message says. But I do know how a woman sounds when she is being flirtatious.
HELP!!! What should I do??

Answer 1

I've been in your shoes! DON'T TELL HIM SH*T!!! She will call again I promise. You'll be able to hear her next time. When a person says "It's me" in a phone call it means they know the other person well. And calling someone a punka$$ is very flirty and playful. If you bring it up to him not only will he change his code so fast it will make your head spin but he will call her and let her know that your on to them. Be smart and get all the evidence you need before you confront him, which you should do eventually. If you do it too soon he will just deny everything and try and make you feel bad for snooping. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Listen carefully, do not confront him yet, save the messages as new and he will never know you heard. If you confront him how he will deny it or make up a story, wait bide your time and you can catch him with more evidence than what you have. If you do confront him now he will get a lot better at hiding it if he is cheating and you will never have his password again. He will be real mad you snooped and rightfully so, but I admit I did it to my hubby. Never could catch him in anything, but he did have a vm from female, I was so ticked off, come to find out the Nextel lines were crossed, when I went on-line to figure out who it was from it said it came from MY HOUSE, I called the co. and they said crossed lines, she was trying to leave a msg for someone else. So he was off the hook and guess what I, don't think he was cheating. I was paranoid because he accused me of it.



Anyway, if I were you, and this will not be easy, bite your tongue if you have to. Say nothing for now. He will get more messages, just make sure you save them as new messages, and if he is cheating he will get caught up, in due time.

Answer 3

Listen in on more messages and see what else you hear. Don't let your fiancee know and don't get married until you get to the bottom of this. If it's a woman that is obviously fooling around with him you gotta leave him. If he's engaged and fooling around he'll continue to when married. Then again I'd leave him anyway after 9 years and a daughter and no ring. U need to know your worth.

Answer 4

I am looking at all possiblities. This could easily been your mind playing tricks on you. Your mind could have eaisly have been telling you that to make you suspicious. But then again, who would be saying, "I told your punk ** lets go!" Not a buisness woman. Could be a friend possibly. Lets not get to antsy for that could have been a friend. But I believe you when you say it was flirtatious. No one knows another woman better than another woman herself. I wouldnt want to risk anything happining to your relationship. I would look up on a website. I posted one for you. Look for those signs. Do not accuse just yet! You did the right thing by not telling him. You really shouldnt untill you really know. But this is valuable, if you do know that he is cheating, be calm and maintain a good temper. calmly talk about it because I know I've talked about this with my boyfriend. He said I know we will both never cheat, EVER. Because saying "I love you" Is a promise. But lets go over this so we get it off our chests. And we said that if he ever cought me cheating or if I ever cought him cheating He would be extremly sorry and explain it to me. He even said that if he saw me kissing a guy and I asked to explain it to him he would let me.

Because look at it this way, What if some guy came up to me and just kissed me? I would need to explain to him that it wasnt my fault. So In your case, if he is, let him explain himself. It could be a BIG misunderstanding. I know for a fact that I get a lot of weird people leaving voicemails on my phone.

Wrong number I guess haha. But yes. If you ever find good evidence sit him down and calmly talk about it. But don't jump to conclusions.

Answer 5

Why are you married after have his child and 9 years? He needs to be confronted about this. you are wasting your life away, if he is not going to pursue a lifetime with you. He has already taken 9 years! Just check a few other things before confronting him. His cell phone, his email, his wallet, his car. Do some evaluation too! Has he changed any of his habits? does he get dressed up to leave the house? How often does he say he is working overtime.?



You can also purchase spy cameras to put into his car too!

Answer 6

Well because a woman left a "flirty" voice mail doesn't mean he cheating on you, so take a deep breath, calm down, and realize this...maybe it was a joke, maybe it was the wrong number, could be alot of things. Does he do anything else to make you think he's cheating on you? COme home late at night? Calls that he can't take in fron tof you? And yes, you should confront him, not accusing him of anything, but kinda laughing, "LOL, hey I was bored and figured out your voice mail and some crazy beeotch is on there saying something, what was she saying?, who is she?" And go from there. BUT CALM DOWN!!!

Answer 7

First of all you have suspicious that he is cheating. Do not make the mistake of letting him know that you know as he will halt all activity if he is cheating. Start you a little investigation and work on it till you have solid proof that he is cheating and then confront him with it. That way he has no way to deny it. I do not think that he is going to admit to an affair.

Answer 8

I think, to be sure that he is cheating, you need more info than just one message. If you can, see which number is message from, if he calls or gets calls from that number often.



Don't tell him yet that you are checking his phone untill you find something that would 100% prove cheating. But if you don't find anything, maybe he is not cheating after all.

Answer 9

I don't know what to tell you, hunnie, but I'm sorry.

I know from experience that doing this is not a good idea.

My boyfriend and I broke up after I read some of his messages on myspace; it's probably nothing and you would have been better off not even hearing it.

Answer 10

hahaha wow 9 years!!! that's a long time! ^^ i guess it really hurts when you've eben togetehr for 9 years..? i'm so sorry to hear that. i guess sometimes it' just a goodbye. maybe you two need a break and some space. maybe he wants someone new just like how a lot of people these days, they continue to choose and pick. they break up and they comeback. first hting i would so is ask him and it will be very obvious if he is cheating or lying. just look closely ^^

Answer 11

Well, now that you are suspicious of him, keep a close eye on him. If he tells you he has to work late, question him as to why. If he says he is going out of town on business, question this as well, etc. Just remember, even though you kinda heard a voicemail, you don't know for sure he's cheating on you. Maybe even show up unannounced somewhere you know he is. If he gets angry, you can tell him you are his wife and have a right to show up where he is.

Answer 12

I think you should talk it over with him. Confess that you violated his privacy (which he is still entitled to even if you are engaged), and ask him about the woman.



To be honest, if you have trust and communication issues with your fiancee at this point in your relationship, you should seriously reconsider marriage. Sounds like you're off to an unhealthy start.

Answer 13

Honestly.... confront him. Its the best thing to do. It's never good to keep something from someone no matter what it is. If you don't ask him or tell him you heard a message that is suspicious, it's just gonna be eating you inside.

Answer 14

Ask him if its nothing he should not freak out on you if he does freak out then worry but if your suppose to be marrying this guy why would you be able to check his messages your in a committed relationship your not suppose to hide anything from each other heck even before I was even engaged I knew my now husbands bank acct and pass words to everything its called TRUST

Answer 15

Was there a reason for you both not to know his voicemail password and for you to be looking for a reason to find out his password? Was the password a secret? There is implied mistrust and secrecy in your question.

Rationally think it through before you ask, then in a non-stressful moment ask him about it.

Answer 16

Follow him if he gets a room get the one next to him its what you want, sure proof or just to warn him you know what you really don't want to know. Cause without proof he will deniiii and that is safe for you. So its your call plain not so simple

Answer 17

This happend to me. I just wanted and kept checking his vm to see what else I can find out. I didn't want him to know that I had his code.

I waited and waited and then in a conversation one day I brought it up. I did in way that he didn't know that I had his code and it worked.

He told me what is was all about and it made sence.



just ask him if he talks to any other female....

Or if any women calls his phone.....

You will know if he's lying to you.

Answer 18

keep listening to the messages and see if he gets any more like that. after you have a few messages then you can confront him.

Answer 19

Talk to him in a non-confrontational manner. Since you have a child together, you have every right to know what he is up to.

Answer 20

If your not sure, than wait to hear more on his voicemail, don't tell him anything yet ,until you are sure

((edit))

another thing you just got in to his vm and you hear this?

Don't be hasty, be patient and wait to find out more.

Answer 21

1 ) you had to think you fiance was cheating or you wouldn't get into his voice mail..

I would say leave why be with someone you are checking up on.. Does not make a good life for either one of you ..

Answer 22

I would definately ask him about it. Honesty is the best policy, after all, right?

Answer 23

you have to tell him and talk to him otherwise you are going to build up resentment, and you are going to be getting mad at him for other things and hate him more and more each day

Answer 24

Confront him.